Whatasightforayoungmanoffifteenlikeme，whomtheoldmanadmittedastheonlyandsilentwitnessoftheseeroticscenes！Themiserablemotherapplaudedherdaughter’sreserve，andwentsofarastolecturetheelderlylover，who，inhisturn，darednotrefutehermaxims，whichsavouredeithertoomuchortoolittleofChristianity，andresistedaverystronginclinationtohurlatherheadanyobjecthehadathand。Angerwouldthentaketheplaceoflewddesires，andaftertheyhadretiredhewouldcomforthimselfbyexchangingwithmephilosophicalconsiderations。
Compelledtoanswerhim，andnotknowingwellwhattosay，Iventuredonedayuponadvisingamarriage。Hestruckmewithamazementwhenheansweredthatsherefusedtomarryhimfromfearofdrawinguponherselfthehatredofhisrelatives。
\"Thenmakehertheofferofalargesumofmoney，oraposition。\"
\"Shesaysthatshewouldnot，evenforacrown，commitadeadlysin。\"
\"Inthatcase，youmusteithertakeherbystorm，orbanishherforeverfromyourpresence。\"
\"Icandoneitheronenortheother；physicalaswellasmoralstrengthisdeficientinme。\"
\"Killher，then。\"
\"ThatwillverylikelybethecaseunlessIdiefirst。\"
\"IndeedIpityyourexcellency。\"
\"Doyousometimesvisither？\"
\"No，forImightfallinlovewithher，andIwouldbemiserable。\"
\"Youareright。\"
Witnessingmanysuchscenes，andtakingpartinmanysimilarconversations，Ibecameanespecialfavouritewiththeoldnobleman。
Iwasinvitedtohiseveningassemblieswhichwere，asIhavestatedbefore，frequentedbysuperannuatedwomenandwittymen。HetoldmethatinthiscircleIwouldlearnascienceofgreaterimportthanGassendi’sphilosophy，whichIwasthenstudyingbyhisadviceinsteadofAristotle’s，whichheturnedintoridicule。Helaiddownsomepreceptsformyconductinthoseassemblies，explainingthenecessityofmyobservingthem，astherewouldbesomewonderatayoungmanofmyagebeingreceivedatsuchparties。Heorderedmenevertoopenmylipsexcepttoanswerdirectquestions，andparticularlyenjoinedmenevertopassanopiniononanysubject，becauseatmyageIcouldnotbeallowedtohaveanyopinions。
Ifaithfullyfollowedhisprecepts，andobeyedhisorderssowell，thatinafewdaysIhadgainedhisesteem，andbecomethechildofthehouse，aswellasthefavouriteofalltheladieswhovisitedhim。Inmycharacterofayoungandinnocentecclesiastic，theywouldaskmetoaccompanythemintheirvisitstotheconventswheretheirdaughtersortheirnieceswereeducated；Iwasatallhoursreceivedattheirhouseswithoutevenbeingannounced；Iwasscoldedifaweekelapsedwithoutmycallinguponthem，andwhenIwenttotheapartmentsreservedfortheyoungladies，theywouldrunaway，butthemomenttheysawthattheintruderwasonlyI，theywouldreturnatonce，andtheirconfidencewasverycharmingtome。
Beforedinner，M。deMalipierowouldofteninquirefrommewhatadvantageswereaccruingtomefromthewelcomeIreceivedatthehandsoftherespectableladiesIhadbecomeacquaintedwithathishouse，takingcaretotellme，beforeIcouldhavetimetoanswer，thattheywereallendowedwiththegreatestvirtue，andthatIwouldgiveeverybodyabadopinionofmyself，ifIeverbreathedonewordofdisparagementtothehighreputationtheyallenjoyed。Inthiswayhewouldinculcateinmethewisepreceptofreserveanddiscretion。
Itwasatthesenator’shousethatImadetheacquaintanceofMadameManzoni，thewifeofanotarypublic，ofwhomIshallhavetospeakveryoften。Thisworthyladyinspiredmewiththedeepestattachment，andshegavemethewisestadvice。HadIfollowedit，andprofitedbyit，mylifewouldnothavebeenexposedtosomanystorms；itistruethatinthatcase，mylifewouldnotbeworthwriting。
Allthesefineacquaintancesamongstwomenwhoenjoyedthereputationofbeinghigh—bredladies，gavemeaverynaturaldesiretoshinebymygoodlooksandbytheeleganceofmydress；butmyfatherconfessor，aswellasmygrandmother，objectedverystronglytothisfeelingofvanity。Ononeoccasion，takingmeapart，thecuratetoldme，withhoneyedwords，thatintheprofessiontowhichIhaddevotedmyselfmythoughtsoughttodwelluponthebestmeansofbeingagreeabletoGod，andnotonpleasingtheworldbymyfineappearance。Hecondemnedmyelaboratecurls，andtheexquisiteperfumeofmypomatum。Hesaidthatthedevilhadgotholdofmebythehair，thatIwouldbeexcommunicatedifIcontinuedtotakesuchcareofit，andconcludedbyquotingformybenefitthesewordsfromanoecumenicalcouncil:’clericusquinutritcoman，anathemasit’。
Iansweredhimwiththenamesofseveralfashionableperfumedabbots，whowerenotthreatenedwithexcommunication，whowerenotinterferedwith，althoughtheyworefourtimesasmuchpowderasIdid——forI
onlyusedaslightsprinkling——whoperfumedtheirhairwithacertainamber—scentedpomatumwhichbroughtwomentotheverypointoffainting，whilemine，ajessaminepomade，calledforththecomplimentofeverycircleinwhichIwasreceived。IaddedthatIcouldnot，muchtomyregret，obeyhim，andthatifIhadmeanttoliveinslovenliness，IwouldhavebecomeaCapuchinandnotanabbe。
Myanswermadehimsoangrythat，threeorfourdaysafterwards，hecontrivedtoobtainleavefrommygrandmothertoentermychamberearlyinthemorning，beforeIwasawake，and，approachingmybedontiptoewithasharppairofscissors，hecutoffunmercifullyallmyfronthair，fromoneeartotheother。MybrotherFrancoiswasintheadjoiningroomandsawhim，buthedidnotinterfereashewasdelightedatmymisfortune。Heworeawig，andwasveryjealousofmybeautifulheadofhair。Francoiswasenviousthroughthewholeofhislife；yethecombinedthisfeelingofenvywithfriendship；I
nevercouldunderstandhim；butthisviceofhis，likemyownvices，mustbythistimehavediedofoldage。
Afterhisgreatoperation，theabbeleftmyroomquietly，butwhenI
wokeupshortlyafterwards，andrealizedallthehorrorofthisunheard—ofexecution，myrageandindignationwereindeedwroughttothehighestpitch。
Whatwildschemesofrevengemybrainengenderedwhile，withalooking—glassinmyhand，Iwasgroaningovertheshamefulhavocperformedbythisaudaciouspriest！AtthenoiseImademygrandmotherhastenedtomyroom，andamidstmybrother’slaughterthekindoldwomanassuredmethatthepriestwouldneverhavebeenallowedtoentermyroomifshecouldhaveforeseenhisintention，andshemanagedtosoothemypassiontosomeextentbyconfessingthathehadover—steppedthelimitsofhisrighttoadministerareproof。
ButIwasdetermineduponrevenge，andIwentondressingmyselfandrevolvinginmymindthedarkestplots。ItseemedtomethatIwasentitledtothemostcruelrevenge，withouthavinganythingtodreadfromtheterrorsofthelaw。ThetheatresbeingopenatthattimeI
putonamasktogoout，andI，wenttotheadvocateCarrare，withwhomIhadbecomeacquaintedatthesenator’shouse，toinquirefromhimwhetherIcouldbringasuitagainstthepriest。Hetoldmethat，butashorttimesince，afamilyhadbeenruinedforhavingshearedthemoustacheofaSclavonian——acrimenotnearlysoatrociousastheshearingofallmyfrontlocks，andthatIhadonlytogivehimmyinstructionstobeginacriminalsuitagainsttheabbe，whichwouldmakehimtremble。Igavemyconsent，andbeggedthathewouldtellM。deMalipierointheeveningthereasonforwhichIcouldnotgotohishouse，forIdidnotfeelanyinclinationtoshowmyselfanywhereuntilmyhairhadgrownagain。
IwenthomeandpartookwithmybrotherofarepastwhichappearedratherscantyincomparisontothedinnersIhadwiththeoldsenator。Theprivationofthedelicateandplentifulfaretowhichhisexcellencyhadaccustomedmewasmostpainful，besidesalltheenjoymentsfromwhichIwasexcludedthroughtheatrociousconductofthevirulentpriest，whowasmygodfather。Iweptfromsheervexation；andmyragewasincreasedbytheconsciousnessthattherewasinthisinsultacertaindashofcomicalfunwhichthrewovermearidiculemoredisgracefulinmyestimationthanthegreatestcrime。
Iwenttobedearly，and，refreshedbytenhoursofprofoundslumber，Ifeltinthemorningsomewhatlessangry，butquiteasdeterminedtosummonthepriestbeforeacourt。Idressedmyselfwiththeintentionofcallinguponmyadvocate，whenIreceivedthevisitofaskilfulhair—dresserwhomIhadseenatMadameCantarini’shouse。HetoldmethathewassentbyM。deMalipierotoarrangemyhairsothatIcouldgoout，asthesenatorwishedmetodinewithhimonthatveryday。Heexaminedthedamagedonetomyhead，andsaid，withasmile，thatifIwouldtrusttohisart，hewouldundertaketosendmeoutwithanappearanceofevengreaterelegancethanIcouldboastofbefore；andtruly，whenhehaddone，Ifoundmyselfsogood—
lookingthatIconsideredmythirstforrevengeentirelysatisfied。
Havingthusforgottentheinjury，Icalleduponthelawyertotellhimtostayallproceedings，andIhastenedtoM。deMalipiero’spalace，where，aschancewouldhaveit，Imettheabbe。
Notwithstandingallmyjoy，Icouldnothelpcastinguponhimratherunfriendlylooks，butnotawordwassaidaboutwhathadtakenplace。
Thesenatornoticedeverything，andthepriesttookhisleave，mostlikelywithfeelingsofmortifiedrepentance，forthistimeImostverilydeservedexcommunicationbytheextremestudiedeleganceofmycurlinghair。
Whenmycruelgodfatherhadleftus，IdidnotdissemblewithM。deMalipiero；IcandidlytoldhimthatIwouldlookoutforanotherchurch，andthatnothingwouldinducemetoremainunderapriestwho，inhiswrath，couldgothelengthofsuchproceedings。Thewiseoldmanagreedwithme，andsaidthatIwasquiteright:itwasthebestwaytomakemedoultimatelywhateverheliked。Intheeveningeveryoneinourcircle，beingwellawareofwhathadhappened，complimentedme，andassuredmethatnothingcouldbehandsomerthanmynewhead—dress。Iwasdelighted，andwasstillmoregratifiedwhen，afterafortnighthadelapsed，IfoundthatM。deMalipierodidnotbroachthesubjectofmyreturningtomygodfather’schurch。Mygrandmotheraloneconstantlyurgedmetoreturn。Butthiscalmwastheharbingerofastorm。Whenmymindwasthoroughlyatrestonthatsubject，M。deMalipierothrewmeintothegreatestastonishmentbysuddenlytellingmethatanexcellentopportunityoffereditselfformetoreappearinthechurchandtosecureamplesatisfactionfromtheabbe。
\"Itismyprovince，\"addedthesenator，\"aspresidentoftheConfraternityoftheHolySacrament，tochoosethepreacherwhoistodeliverthesermononthefourthSundayofthismonth，whichhappenstobethesecondChristmasholiday。Imeantoappointyou，andIamcertainthattheabbewillnotdaretorejectmychoice。Whatsayyoutosuchatriumphantreappearance？Doesitsatisfyyou？\"
Thisoffercausedmethegreatestsurprise，forIhadneverdreamtofbecomingapreacher，andIhadneverbeenvainenoughtosupposethatIcouldwriteasermonanddeliveritinthechurch。ItoldM。deMalipierothathemustsurelybeenjoyingajokeatmyexpense，butheansweredthathehadspokeninearnest，andhesooncontrivedtopersuademeandtomakemebelievethatIwasborntobecomethemostrenownedpreacherofourageassoonasIshouldhavegrownfat——aqualitywhichIcertainlycouldnotboastof，foratthattimeIwasextremelythin。Ihadnottheshadowofafearastomyvoiceortomyelocution，andforthematterofcomposingmysermonIfeltmyselfequaltotheproductionofamasterpiece。
ItoldM。deMalipierothatIwasready，andanxioustobeathomeinordertogotowork；that，althoughnotheologian，Iwasacquaintedwithmysubject，andwouldcomposeasermonwhichwouldtakeeveryonebysurpriseonaccountofitsnovelty。
Onthefollowingday，whenIcalleduponhim，heinformedmethattheabbehadexpressedunqualifieddelightatthechoicemadebyhim，andatmyreadinessinacceptingtheappointment；buthelikewisedesiredthatIshouldsubmitmysermontohimassoonasitwaswritten，becausethesubjectbelongingtothemostsublimetheologyhecouldnotallowmetoenterthepulpitwithoutbeingsatisfiedthatIwouldnotutteranyheresies。Iagreedtothisdemand，andduringtheweekIgavebirthtomymasterpiece。Ihavenowthatfirstsermoninmypossession，andIcannothelpsayingthat，consideringmytenderyears，Ithinkitaverygoodone。
Icouldnotgiveanideaofmygrandmother’sjoy；shewepttearsofhappinessathavingagrandsonwhohadbecomeanapostle。Sheinsisteduponmyreadingmysermontoher，listenedtoitwithherbeadsinherhands，andpronounceditverybeautiful。M。deMalipiero，whohadnorosarywhenIreadittohim，wasofopinionthatitwouldnotproveacceptabletotheparson。MytextwasfromHorace:’Ploraveresuisnonresponderefavoremsperdtummeritis’；andIdeploredthewickednessandingratitudeofmen，throughwhichhadfailedthedesignadoptedbyDivinewisdomfortheredemptionofhumankind。ButM。deMalipierowassorrythatIhadtakenmytextfromanyhereticalpoet，althoughhewaspleasedthatmysermonwasnotinterlardedwithLatinquotations。
Icalleduponthepriesttoreadmyproduction；butashewasoutI
hadtowaitforhisreturn，andduringthattimeIfellinlovewithhisniece，Angela。Shewasbusyuponsometambourwork；Isatdownclosebyher，andtellingmethatshehadlongdesiredtomakemyacquaintance，shebeggedmetorelatethehistoryofthelocksofhairshearedbyhervenerableuncle。
MyloveforAngelaprovedfataltome，becausefromitsprangtwootherloveaffairswhich，intheirturn，gavebirthtoagreatmanyothers，andcausedmefinallytorenouncetheChurchasaprofession。
Butletusproceedquietly，andnotencroachuponfutureevents。
Onhisreturnhometheabbefoundmewithhisniece，whowasaboutmyage，andhedidnotappeartobeangry。Igavehimmysermon:hereaditover，andtoldmethatitwasabeautifulacademicaldissertation，butunfitforasermonfromthepulpit，andheadded，\"Iwillgiveyouasermonwrittenbymyself，whichIhaveneverdelivered；youwillcommitittomemory，andIpromisetoleteverybodysupposethatitisofyourowncomposition。\"
\"Ithankyou，veryreverendfather，butIwillpreachmyownsermon，ornoneatall。\"
\"Atallevents，youshallnotpreachsuchasermonasthisinmychurch。\"
\"YoucantalkthematteroverwithM。deMalipiero。InthemeantimeIwilltakemyworktothecensorship，andtoHisEminencethePatriarch，andifitisnotacceptedIshallhaveitprinted。\"
\"Allverywell，youngman。Thepatriarchwillcoincidewithme。\"
IntheeveningIrelatedmydiscussionwiththeparsonbeforealltheguestsofM。deMalipiero。Thereadingofmysermonwascalledfor，anditwaspraisedbyall。TheylaudedmeforhavingwithpropermodestyrefrainedfromquotingtheholyfathersoftheChurch，whomatmyageIcouldnotbesupposedtohavesufficientlystudied，andtheladiesparticularlyadmiredmebecausetherewasnoLatininitbuttheTextfromHorace，who，althoughagreatlibertinehimself，haswrittenverygoodthings。Anieceofthepatriarch，whowaspresentthatevening，promisedtoprepareheruncleinmyfavour，asIhadexpressedmyintentiontoappealtohim；butM。deMalipierodesiredmenottotakeanystepsinthematteruntilIhadseenhimonthefollowingday，andIsubmissivelybowedtohiswishes。
WhenIcalledathismansionthenextdayhesentforthepriest，whosoonmadehisappearance。Asheknewwellwhathehadbeensentfor，heimmediatelylaunchedoutintoaverylongdiscourse，whichIdidnotinterrupt，butthemomenthehadconcludedhislistofobjectionsItoldhimthattherecouldnotbetwowaystodecidethequestion；
thatthepatriarchwouldeitherapproveordisapprovemysermon。
\"Inthefirstcase，\"Iadded，\"Icanpronounceitinyourchurch，andnoresponsibilitycanpossiblyfalluponyourshoulders；inthesecond，Imust，ofcourse，giveway。\"
Theabbewasstruckbymydeterminationandhesaid，\"Donotgotothepatriarch；Iacceptyoursermon；Ionlyrequestyoutochangeyourtext。Horacewasavillain。\"
\"WhydoyouquoteSeneca，Tertullian，Origen，andBoethius？Theywereallheretics，andmust，consequently，beconsideredbyyouasworsewretchesthanHorace，who，afterall，neverhadthechanceofbecomingaChristian！\"
However，asIsawitwouldpleaseM。deMalipiero，Ifinallyconsentedtoaccept，asasubstituteformine，atextofferedbytheabbe，althoughitdidnotsuitinanywaythespiritofmyproduction；andinordertogetanopportunityforavisittohisniece，Igavehimmymanuscript，sayingthatIwouldcallforitthenextday。MyvanitypromptedmetosendacopytoDoctorGozzi，butthegoodmancausedmemuchamusementbyreturningitandwritingthatImusthavegonemad，andthatifIwereallowedtodeliversuchasermonfromthepulpitIwouldbringdishonouruponmyselfaswellasuponthemanwhohadeducatedme。
Icaredbutlittleforhisopinion，andontheappointeddayI
deliveredmysermonintheChurchoftheHolySacramentinthepresenceofthebestsocietyofVenice。Ireceivedmuchapplause，andeveryonepredictedthatIwouldcertainlybecomethefirstpreacherofourcentury，asnoyoungecclesiasticoffifteenhadeverbeenknowntopreachaswellasIhaddone。Itiscustomaryforthefaithfultodeposittheirofferingsforthepreacherinapursewhichishandedtothemforthatpurpose。
Thesextonwhoemptieditofitscontentsfoundinitmorethanfiftysequins，andseveralbillets—doux，tothegreatscandaloftheweakerbrethren。Ananonymousnoteamongstthem，thewriterofwhichI
thoughtIhadguessed，letmeintoamistakewhichIthinkbetternottorelate。Thisrichharvest，inmygreatpenury，causedmetoentertainseriousthoughtsofbecomingapreacher，andIconfidedmyintentiontotheparson，requestinghisassistancetocarryitintoexecution。Thisgavemetheprivilegeofvisitingathishouseeveryday，andIimprovedtheopportunityofconversingwithAngela，forwhommylovewasdailyincreasing。ButAngelawasvirtuous。Shedidnotobjecttomylove，butshewishedmetorenouncetheChurchandtomarryher。Inspiteofmyinfatuationforher，Icouldnotmakeupmymindtosuchastep，andIwentonseeingherandcourtingherinthehopethatshewouldalterherdecision。
Thepriest，whohadatlastconfessedhisadmirationformyfirstsermon，askedme，sometimeafterwards，toprepareanotherforSt。
Joseph’sDay，withaninvitationtodeliveritonthe19thofMarch，1741。Icomposedit，andtheabbespokeofitwithenthusiasm，butfatehaddecidedthatIshouldneverpreachbutonceinmylife。Itisasadtale，unfortunatelyformeverytrue，whichsomepersonsarecruelenoughtoconsiderveryamusing。
Youngandratherself—conceited，Ifanciedthatitwasnotnecessaryformetospendmuchtimeincommittingmysermontomemory。Beingtheauthor，Ihadalltheideascontainedinmyworkclassifiedinmymind，anditdidnotseemtomewithintherangeofpossibilitiesthatIcouldforgetwhatIhadwritten。PerhapsImightnotremembertheexactwordsofasentence，butIwasatlibertytoreplacethembyotherexpressionsasgood，andasIneverhappenedtobeataloss，ortobestruckdumb，whenIspokeinsociety，itwasnotlikelythatsuchanuntowardaccidentwouldbefallmebeforeanaudienceamongstwhomIdidnotknowanyonewhocouldintimidatemeandcausemesuddenlytolosethefacultyofreasonorofspeech。I
thereforetookmypleasureasusual，beingsatisfiedwithreadingmysermonmorningandevening，inordertoimpressituponmymemorywhichuntilthenhadneverbetrayedme。
The19thofMarchcame，andonthateventfuldayatfouro’clockintheafternoonIwastoascendthepulpit；but，believingmyselfquitesecureandthoroughlymasterofmysubject，IhadnotthemoralcouragetodenymyselfthepleasureofdiningwithCountMont—Real，whowasthenresidingwithme，andwhohadinvitedthepatricianBarozzi，engagedtobemarriedtohisdaughteraftertheEasterholidays。
Iwasstillenjoyingmyselfwithmyfinecompany，whenthesextonofthechurchcameintotellmethattheywerewaitingformeinthevestry。Withafullstomachandmyheadratherheated，Itookmyleave，rantothechurch，andenteredthepulpit。Iwentthroughtheexordiumwithcredittomyself，andItookbreathingtime；butscarcelyhadIpronouncedthefirstsentencesofthenarration，beforeIforgotwhatIwassaying，whatIhadtosay，andinmyendeavourstoproceed，IfairlywanderedfrommysubjectandIlostmyselfentirely。Iwasstillmorediscomfortedbyahalf—repressedmurmuroftheaudience，asmydeficiencyappearedevident。Severalpersonsleftthechurch，othersbegantosmile，Ilostallpresenceofmindandeveryhopeofgettingoutofthescrape。
IcouldnotsaywhetherIfeignedafaintingfit，orwhetherItrulyswooned；allIknowisthatIfelldownonthefloorofthepulpit，strikingmyheadagainstthewall，withaninwardprayerforannihilation。
Twooftheparishclerkscarriedmetothevestry，andafterafewmoments，withoutaddressingawordtoanyone，Itookmycloakandmyhat，andwenthometolockmyselfinmyroom。Iimmediatelydressedmyselfinashortcoat，afterthefashionoftravellingpriests，I
packedafewthingsinatrunk，obtainedsomemoneyfrommygrandmother，andtookmydepartureforPadua，whereIintendedtopassmythirdexamination。IreachedPaduaatmidnight，andwenttoDoctorGozzi’shouse，butIdidnotfeeltheslightesttemptationtomentiontohimmyunluckyadventure。
IremainedinPadualongenoughtopreparemyselfforthedoctor’sdegree，whichIintendedtotakethefollowingyear，andafterEasterIreturnedtoVenice，wheremymisfortunewasalreadyforgotten；butpreachingwasoutofthequestion，andwhenanyattemptwasmadetoinducemetorenewmyefforts，Imanfullykepttomydeterminationnevertoascendthepulpitagain。
OntheeveofAscensionDayM。Manzoniintroducedmetoayoungcourtesan，whowasatthattimeingreatreputeatVenice，andwasnick—namedCavamacchia，becauseherfatherhadbeenascourer。Thisnamedvexedheragreatdeal，shewishedtobecalledPreati，whichwasherfamilyname，butitwasallinvain，andtheonlyconcessionherfriendswouldmakewastocallherbyherChristiannameofJuliette。ShehadbeenintroducedtofashionablenoticebytheMarquisdeSanvitali，anoblemanfromParma，whohadgivenheronehundredthousandducatsforherfavours。HerbeautywasthenthetalkofeverybodyinVenice，anditwasfashionabletocalluponher。
Toconversewithher，andespeciallytobeadmittedintohercircle，wasconsideredagreatboon。
AsIshallhavetomentionherseveraltimesinthecourseofmyhistory，myreaderswill，Itrust，allowmetoenterintosomeparticularsaboutherpreviouslife。
JuliettewasonlyfourteenyearsofagewhenherfathersentheronedaytothehouseofaVenetiannobleman，MarcoMuazzo，withacoatwhichhehadcleanedforhim。Hethoughtherverybeautifulinspiteofthedirtyragsinwhichshewasdressed，andhecalledtoseeheratherfather’sshop，withafriendofhis，thecelebratedadvocate，BastienUccelli，who；struckbytheromanticandcheerfulnatureofJuliettestillmorethanbyherbeautyandfinefigure，gaveheranapartment，madeherstudymusic，andkeptherashismistress。Atthetimeofthefair，Bastientookherwithhimtovariouspublicplacesofresort；everywheresheattractedgeneralattention，andsecuredtheadmirationofeveryloverofthesex。Shemaderapidprogressinmusic，andattheendofsixmonthsshefeltsufficientconfidenceinherselftosignanengagementwithatheatricalmanagerwhotookhertoViennatogivehera’castrato’partinoneofMetastasio’soperas。
TheadvocatehadpreviouslycededhertoawealthyJewwho，aftergivinghersplendiddiamonds，leftheralso。
InVienna，Julietteappearedonthestage，andherbeautygainedforheranadmirationwhichshewouldneverhaveconqueredbyherveryinferiortalent。Buttheconstantcrowdofadorerswhowenttoworshipthegoddess，havingsoundedherexploitsrathertooloudly，theaugustMaria—Theresaobjectedtothisnewcreedbeingsanctionedinhercapital，andthebeautfiulactressreceivedanordertoquitViennaforthwith。
CountSpadaofferedherhisprotection，andbroughtherbacktoVenice，butshesoonleftforPaduawhereshehadanengagement。InthatcityshekindledthefireofloveinthebreastofMarquisSanvitali，butthemarchionesshavingcaughtheronceinherownbox，andJuliettehavingacteddisrespectfullytoher，sheslappedherface，andtheaffairhavingcausedagooddealofnoise，Juliettegaveupthestagealtogether。ShecamebacktoVenice，where，madeconspicuousbyherbanishmentfromVienna，shecouldnotfailtomakeherfortune。ExpulsionfromVienna，forthisclassofwomen，hadbecomeatitletofashionablefavour，andwhentherewasawishtodepreciateasingeroradancer，itwassaidofherthatshehadnotbeensufficientlyprizedtobeexpelledfromVienna。
Afterherreturn，herfirstloverwasSteffanoQuerinidePapozzes，butinthespringof1740，theMarquisdeSanvitalicametoVeniceandsooncarriedheroff。Itwasindeeddifficulttoresistthisdelightfulmarquis！Hisfirstpresenttothefairladywasasumofonehundredthousandducats，and，topreventhisbeingaccusedofweaknessoroflavishprodigality，heloudlyproclaimedthatthepresentcouldscarcelymakeupfortheinsultJuliettehadreceivedfromhiswife——aninsult，however，whichthecourtesanneveradmitted，asshefeltthattherewouldbehumiliationinsuchanacknowledgment，andshealwaysprofessedtoadmirewithgratitudeherlover’sgenerosity。Shewasright；theadmissionoftheblowreceivedwouldhaveleftastainuponhercharms，andhowmuchmoretohertastetoallowthosecharmstobeprizedatsuchahighfigure！
Itwasintheyear1741thatM。ManzoniintroducedmetothisnewPhryneasayoungecclesiasticwhowasbeginningtomakeareputation。Ifoundhersurroundedbysevenoreightwell—seasonedadmirers，whowereburningatherfeettheincenseoftheirflattery。
ShewascarelesslyrecliningonasofanearQuerini。Iwasmuchstruckwithherappearance。Sheeyedmefromheadtofoot，asifI
hadbeenexposedforsale，andtellingme，withtheairofaprincess，thatshewasnotsorrytomakemyacquaintance，sheinvitedmetotakeaseat。Ibeganthen，inmyturn，toexaminehercloselyanddeliberately，anditwasaneasymatter，astheroom，althoughsmall，waslightedwithatleasttwentywaxcandles。
Juliettewastheninhereighteenthyear；thefreshnessofhercomplexionwasdazzling，butthecarnationtintofhercheeks，thevermilionofherlips，andthedark，verynarrowcurveofhereyebrows，impressedmeasbeingproducedbyartratherthannature。
Herteeth——tworowsofmagnificentpearls——madeoneoverlookthefactthathermouthwassomewhattoolarge，andwhetherfromhabit，orbecauseshecouldnothelpit，sheseemedtobeeversmiling。Herbosom，hidunderalightgauze，invitedthedesiresoflove；yetI
didnotsurrendertohercharms。Herbraceletsandtheringswhichcoveredherfingersdidnotpreventmefromnoticingthatherhandwastoolargeandtoofleshy，andinspiteofhercarefullyhidingherfeet，Ijudged，byatelltaleslipperlyingclosebyherdress，thattheywerewellproportionedtotheheightofherfigure——aproportionwhichisunpleasantnotonlytotheChineseandSpaniards，butlikewisetoeverymanofrefinedtaste。Wewantatallwomentohaveasmallfoot，andcertainlyitisnotamoderntaste，forHolofernesofoldwasofthesameopinion；otherwisehewouldnothavethoughtJudithsocharming:’etsandalidejusrapueruntoculosejus’。AltogetherIfoundherbeautiful，butwhenIcomparedherbeautyandthepriceofonehundredthousandducatspaidforit，I
marvelledatmyremainingsocold，andatmynotbeingtemptedtogiveevenonesequinfortheprivilegeofmakingfromnatureastudyofthecharmswhichherdressconcealedfrommyeyes。
Ihadscarcelybeenthereaquarterofanhourwhenthenoisemadebytheoarsofagondolastrikingthewaterheraldedtheprodigalmarquis。Weallrosefromourseats，andM。Querinihastened，somewhatblushing，toquithisplaceonthesofa。M。deSanvitali，amanofmiddleage，whohadtravelledmuch，tookaseatnearJuliette，butnotonthesofa，soshewascompelledtoturnround。
Itgavemetheopportunityofseeingherfullfront，whileIhadbeforeonlyasideviewofherface。
AftermyintroductiontoJuliette，Ipaidherfourorfivevisits，andIthoughtmyselfjustified，bythecareIhadgiventotheexaminationofherbeauty，insayinginM。deMalipiero’sdraw—room，oneevening，whenmyopinionaboutherwasasked，thatshecouldpleaseonlyagluttonwithdepravedtastes；thatshehadneitherthefascinationofsimplenaturenoranyknowledgeofsociety，thatshewasdeficientinwell—bred，easymannersaswellasinstrikingtalentsandthatthosewerethequalitieswhichathoroughgentlemanlikedtofindinawoman。Thisopinionmetthegeneralapprobationofhisfriends，butM。deMalipierokindlywhisperedtomethatJuliettewouldcertainlybeinformedoftheportraitIhaddrawnofher，andthatshewouldbecomemyswornenemy。Hehadguessedrightly。
IthoughtJulietteverysingular，forsheseldomspoketome，andwhenevershelookedatmeshemadeuseofaneye—glass，orshecontractedhereye—lids，asifshewishedtodenymethehonourofseeinghereyes，whichwerebeyondalldisputeverybeautiful。Theywereblue，wondrouslylargeandfull，andtintedwiththatunfathomablevariegatediriswhichnatureonlygivestoyouth，andwhichgenerallydisappears，afterhavingworkedmiracles，whentheownerreachestheshadysideofforty。FredericktheGreatpreservedituntilhisdeath。
JuliettewasinformedoftheportraitIhadgivenofhertoM。deMalipiero’sfriendsbytheindiscreetpensioner，XavierCortantini。
OneeveningIcalleduponherwithM。Manzoni，andshetoldhimthatawonderfuljudgeofbeautyhadfoundflawsinhers，butshetookgoodcarenottospecifythem。Itwasnotdifficulttomakeoutthatshewasindirectlyfiringatme，andIpreparedmyselffortheostracismwhichIwasexpecting，butwhich，however，shekeptinabeyancefullyforanhour。Atlast，ourconversationfallinguponaconcertgivenafewdaysbeforebyImer，theactor，andinwhichhisdaughter，Therese，hadtakenabrilliantpart，JulietteturnedroundtomeandinquiredwhatM。deMalipierodidforTherese。Isaidthathewaseducatingher。\"Hecanwelldoit，\"sheanswered，\"forheisamanoftalent；butIshouldliketoknowwhathecandowithyou？\"
\"Whateverhecan。\"
\"Iamtoldthathethinksyouratherstupid。\"
Asamatterofcourse，shehadthelaughonherside，andI，confused，uncomfortableandnotknowingwhattosay，tookleaveafterhavingcutaverysorryfigure，anddeterminedneveragaintodarkenherdoor。Thenextdayatdinnertheaccountofmyadventurecausedmuchamusementtotheoldsenator。
Throughoutthesummer，IcarriedonacourseofPlatoniclovewithmycharmingAngelaatthehouseofherteacherofembroidery，butherextremereserveexcitedme，andmylovehadalmostbecomeatormenttomyself。Withmyardentnature，IrequiredamistresslikeBettina，whoknewhowtosatisfymylovewithoutwearingitout。I
stillretainedsomefeelingsofpurity，andIentertainedthedeepestvenerationforAngela。ShewasinmyeyestheverypalladiumofCecrops。Stillveryinnocent，Ifeltsomedisinclinationtowardswomen，andIwassimpleenoughtobejealousofeventheirhusbands。
Angelawouldnotgrantmetheslightestfavour，yetshewasnoflirt；
butthefirebeginninginmeparchedandwitheredme。ThepatheticentreatieswhichIpouredoutofmyhearthadlesseffectuponherthanupontwoyoungsisters，hercompanionsandfriends:hadInotconcentratedeverylookofmineupontheheartlessgirl，Imighthavediscoveredthatherfriendsexcelledherinbeautyandinfeeling，butmyprejudicedeyessawnoonebutAngela。Toeveryoutpouringofmylovesheansweredthatshewasquitereadytobecomemywife，andthatsuchwastobethelimitofmywishes；whenshecondescendedtoaddthatshesufferedasmuchasIdidmyself，shethoughtshehadbestoweduponmethegreatestoffavours。
Suchwasthestateofmymind，when，inthefirstdaysofautumn，I
receivedaletterfromtheCountessdeMont—RealwithaninvitationtospendsometimeatherbeautifulestateatPasean。Sheexpectedmanyguests，andamongthemherowndaughter，whohadmarriedaVenetiannobleman，andwhohadagreatreputationforwitandbeauty，althoughshehadbutoneeye；butitwassobeautifulthatitmadeupforthelossoftheother。Iacceptedtheinvitation，andPaseanofferingmeaconstantroundofpleasures，itwaseasyenoughformetoenjoymyself，andtoforgetforthetimetherigoursofthecruelAngela。
Iwasgivenaprettyroomonthegroundfloor，openinguponthegardensofPasean，andIenjoyeditscomfortswithoutcaringtoknowwhomyneighbourswere。
Themorningaftermyarrival，attheverymomentIawoke，myeyesweredelightedwiththesightofthecharmingcreaturewhobroughtmemycoffee。Shewasaveryyounggirl，butaswellformedasayoungpersonofseventeen；yetshehadscarcelycompletedherfourteenthyear。Thesnowofhercomplexion，herhairasdarkastheraven’swing，herblackeyesbeamingwithfireandinnocence，herdresscomposedonlyofachemiseandashortpetticoatwhichexposedawell—turnedlegandtheprettiesttinyfoot，everydetailIgatheredinoneinstantpresentedtomylooksthemostoriginalandthemostperfectbeautyIhadeverbeheld。Ilookedatherwiththegreatestpleasure，andhereyesresteduponmeasifwehadbeenoldacquaintances。
\"Howdidyoufindyourbed？\"sheasked。
\"Verycomfortable；Iamsureyoumadeit。Pray，whoareyou？\"
\"IamLucie，thedaughterofthegate—keeper:Ihaveneitherbrothersnorsisters，andIamfourteenyearsold。Iamverygladyouhavenoservantwithyou；Iwillbeyourlittlemaid，andIamsureyouwillbepleasedwithme。\"
Delightedatthisbeginning，Isatupinmybedandshehelpedmetoputonmydressing—gown，sayingahundredthingswhichIdidnotunderstand。Ibegantodrinkmycoffee，quiteamazedathereasyfreedom，andstruckwithherbeauty，towhichitwouldhavebeenimpossibletoremainindifferent。Shehadseatedherselfonmybed，givingnootherapologyforthatlibertythanthemostdelightfulsmile。
Iwasstillsippingmycoffee，whenLucie’sparentscameintomyroom。Shedidnotmovefromherplaceonthebed，butshelookedatthem，appearingveryproudofsuchaseat。Thegoodpeoplekindlyscoldedher，beggedmyforgivenessinherfavour，andLucielefttheroomtoattendtoherotherduties。Themomentshehadgoneherfatherandmotherbegantopraisetheirdaughter。
\"Sheis，\"theysaid，\"ouronlychild，ourdarlingpet，thehopeofouroldage。Shelovesandobeysus，andfearsGod；sheisascleanasanewpin，andhasbutonefault。\"
\"Whatisthat？\"
\"Sheistooyoung。\"
\"Thatisacharmingfaultwhichtimewillmend\"
Iwasnotlonginascertainingthattheywerelivingspecimensofhonesty，oftruth，ofhomelyvirtues，andofrealhappiness。Iwasdelightedatthisdiscovery，whenLuciereturnedasgayasalark，prettilydressed，herhairdoneinapeculiarwayofherown，andwithwell—fittingshoes。Shedroppedasimplecourtesybeforeme，gaveacoupleofheartykissestobothherparents，andjumpedonherfatherknees。Iaskedhertocomeandsitonmybed，butsheansweredthatshecouldnottakesuchalibertynowthatshewasdressed，Thesimplicity，artlessness，andinnocenceoftheanswerseemedtomeveryenchanting，andbroughtasmileonmylips。I
examinedhertoseewhethershewasprettierinhernewdressorinthemorning’snegligee，andIdecidedinfavourofthelatter。Tospeakthetruth，Luciewas，Ithought，superiorineverything，notonlytoAngela，buteventoBettina。
Thehair—dressermadehisappearance，andthehonestfamilyleftmyroom。WhenIwasdressedIwenttomeetthecountessandheramiabledaughter。Thedaypassedoffverypleasantly，asisgenerallythecaseinthecountry，whenyouareamongstagreeablepeople。
Inthemorning，themomentmyeyeswereopened，Irangthebell，andprettyLuciecamein，simpleandnaturalasbefore，withhereasymannersandwonderfulremarks。Hercandour，herinnocenceshonebrilliantlyalloverherperson。Icouldnotconceivehow，withhergoodness，hervirtueandherintelligence，shecouldruntheriskofexcitingmebycomingintomyroomalone，andwithsomuchfamiliarity。Ifanciedthatshewouldnotattachmuchimportancetocertainslightliberties，andwouldnotproveover—
scrupulous，andwiththatideaImadeupmymindtoshewherthatI
fullyunderstoodher。Ifeltnoremorseofconscienceonthescoreofherparents，who，inmyestimation，wereascarelessasherself；
Ihadnodreadofbeingthefirsttogivethealarmtoherinnocence，ortoenlightenhermindwiththegloomylightofmalice，but，unwillingeithertobethedupeoffeelingortoactagainstit，I
resolvedtoreconnoitretheground。Iextendadaringhandtowardsherperson，andbyaninvoluntarymovementshewithdraws，blushes，hercheerfulnessdisappears，and，turningherheadasideasifshewereinsearchofsomething，shewaitsuntilheragitationhassubsided。Thewholeaffairhadnotlastedoneminute。Shecameback，abashedattheideathatshehadprovedherselfratherknowing，andatthedreadofhavingperhapsgivenawronginterpretationtoanactionwhichmighthavebeen，onmypart，perfectlyinnocent，ortheresultofpoliteness。Hernaturallaughsoonreturned，and，havingrapidlyreadinhermindallIhavejustdescribed，Ilostnotimeinrestoringherconfidence，and，judgingthatIwouldventuretoomuchbyactiveoperations，IresolvedtoemploythefollowingmorninginafriendlychatduringwhichIcouldmakeheroutbetter。
Inpursuanceofthatplan，thenextmorning，asweweretalking，I
toldherthatitwascold，butthatshewouldnotfeelitifshewouldliedownnearme。
\"ShallIdisturbyou？\"shesaid。
\"No；butIamthinkingthatifyourmotherhappenedtocomein，shewouldbeangry。\"
\"Motherwouldnotthinkofanyharm。\"
\"Come，then。ButLucie，doyouknowwhatdangeryouareexposingyourselfto？\"
\"CertainlyIdo；butyouaregood，and，whatismore，youareapriest。\"
\"Come；onlylockthedoor。\"
\"No，no，forpeoplemightthink……Idonotknowwhat。\"Shelaiddownclosebyme，andkeptonherchatting，althoughIdidnotunderstandawordofwhatshesaid，forinthatsingularposition，andunwillingtogivewaytomyardentdesires，Iremainedasstillasalog。
Herconfidenceinhersafety，confidencewhichwascertainlynotfeigned，workeduponmyfeelingstosuchanextentthatIwouldhavebeenashamedtotakeanyadvantageofit。Atlastshetoldmethatnineo’clockhadstruck，andthatifoldCountAntoniofoundusaswewere，hewouldteaseherwithhisjokes。\"WhenIseethatman，\"shesaid，\"IamafraidandIrunaway。\"Sayingthesewords，sherosefromthebedandlefttheroom。
Iremainedmotionlessforalongwhile，stupefied，benumbed，andmasteredbytheagitationofmyexcitedsensesaswellasbymythoughts。Thenextmorning，asIwishedtokeepcalm，Ionlylethersitdownonmybed，andtheconversationIhadwithherprovedwithouttheshadowofadoubtthatherparentshadeveryreasontoidolizeher，andthattheeasyfreedomofhermindaswellasofherbehaviourwithmewasentirelyowingtoherinnocenceandtoherpurity。Herartlessness，hervivacity，hereagercuriosity，andthebashfulblusheswhichspreadoverherfacewheneverherinnocentorjestingremarkscausedmetolaugh，everything，infact，convincedmethatshewasanangeldestinedtobecomethevictimofthefirstlibertinewhowouldundertaketoseduceher。Ifeltsufficientcontrolovermyownfeelingstoresistanyattemptagainsthervirtuewhichmyconsciencemightafterwardsreproachmewith。Themerethoughtoftakingadvantageofherinnocencemademeshudder，andmyself—esteemwasaguaranteetoherparents，whoabandonedhertomeonthestrengthofthegoodopiniontheyentertainedofme，thatLucie’shonourwassafeinmyhands。IthoughtIwouldhavedespisedmyselfifIhadbetrayedthetrusttheyreposedinme。Ithereforedeterminedtoconquermyfeelings，and，withperfectconfidenceinthevictory，Imadeupmymindtowagewaragainstmyself，andtobesatisfiedwithherpresenceastheonlyrewardofmyheroicefforts。
Iwasnotyetacquaintedwiththeaxiomthat\"aslongasthefightinglasts，victoryremainsuncertain。\"
AsIenjoyedherconversationmuch，anaturalinstinctpromptedmetotellherthatshewouldaffordmegreatpleasureifshecouldcomeearlierinthemorning，andevenwakemeupifIhappenedtobeasleep，adding，inordertogivemoreweighttomyrequest，thatthelessIsleptthebetterIfeltinhealth。InthismannerIcontrivedtospendthreehoursinsteadoftwoinhersociety，althoughthiscunningcontrivanceofminedidnotpreventthehoursflying，atleastinmyopinion，asswiftaslightning。
Hermotherwouldoftencomeinasweweretalking，andwhenthegoodwomanfoundhersittingonmybedshewouldsaynothing，onlywonderingatmykindness。Luciewouldthencoverherwithkisses，andthekindoldsoulwouldentreatmetogiveherchildlessonsofgoodness，andtocultivatehermind；butwhenshehadleftusLuciedidnotthinkherselfmoreunrestrained，andwhetherinoroutofhermother’spresence，shewasalwaysthesamewithouttheslightestchange。
Ifthesocietyofthisangelicchildaffordedmethesweetestdelight，italsocausedmethemostcruelsuffering。Often，veryoften，whenherfacewasclosetomylips，Ifeltthemostardenttemptationtosmotherherwithkisses，andmybloodwasatfeverheatwhenshewishedthatshehadbeenasisterofmine。ButIkeptsufficientcommandovermyselftoavoidtheslightestcontact，forI
wasconsciousthatevenonekisswouldhavebeenthesparkwhichwouldhaveblownupalltheedificeofmyreserve。EverytimesheleftmeIremainedastoundedatmyownvictory，but，alwayseagertowinfreshlaurels，Ilongedforthefollowingmorning，pantingforarenewalofthissweetyetverydangerouscontest。
Attheendoftenortwelvedays，Ifeltthattherewasnoalternativebuttoputastoptothisstateofthings，ortobecomeamonsterinmyowneyes；andIdecidedforthemoralsideofthequestionallthemoreeasilythatnothinginsuredmesuccess，ifI
chosethesecondalternative。ThemomentIplacedherundertheobligationtodefendherselfLuciewouldbecomeaheroine，andthedoorofmyroombeingopen，Imighthavebeenexposedtoshameandtoaveryuselessrepentance。Thisratherfrightenedme。Yet，toputanendtomytorture，Ididnotknowwhattodecide。Icouldnolongerresisttheeffectmadeuponmysensesbythisbeautifulgirl，who，atthebreakofdayandscarcelydressed，rangailyintomyroom，cametomybedenquiringhowIhadslept，bentfamiliarlyherheadtowardsme，and，sotospeak，droppedherwordsonmylips。InthosedangerousmomentsIwouldturnmyheadaside；butinherinnocenceshewouldreproachmeforbeingafraidwhenshefeltherselfsosafe，andifIansweredthatIcouldnotpossiblyfearachild，shewouldreplythatadifferenceoftwoyearswasofnoaccount。
Standingatbay，exhausted，consciousthateveryinstantincreasedtheardourwhichwasdevouringme，Iresolvedtoentreatfromherselfthediscontinuanceofhervisits，andthisresolutionappearedtomesublimeandinfallible；buthavingpostponeditsexecutionuntilthefollowingmorning，Ipassedadreadfulnight，torturedbytheimageofLucie，andbytheideathatIwouldseeherinthemorningforthelasttime。IfanciedthatLuciewouldnotonlygrantmyprayer，butthatshewouldconceiveformethehighestesteem。Inthemorning，itwasbarelyday—light，Luciebeaming，radiantwithbeauty，ahappysmilebrighteningherprettymouth，andhersplendidhairinthemostfascinatingdisorder，burstsintomyroom，andrusheswithopenarmstowardsmybed；butwhensheseesmypale，dejected，andunhappycountenance，shestopsshort，andherbeautifulfacetakinganexpressionofsadnessandanxiety:
\"Whatailsyou？\"sheasks，withdeepsympathy。
\"Ihavehadnosleepthroughthenight:\"
\"Andwhy？\"
\"BecauseIhavemadeupmymindtoimparttoyouaprojectwhich，althoughfraughtwithmiserytomyself，willatleastsecuremeyouresteem。\"
\"Butifyourprojectistoinsuremyesteemitoughttomakeyouverycheerful。Onlytellme，reverendsir，why，aftercallingme’thou’
yesterday，youtreatmetodayrespectfully，likealady？WhathaveI
done？Iwillgetyourcoffee，andyoumusttellmeeverythingafteryouhavedrunkit；Ilongtohearyou\"
Shegoesandreturns，Idrinkthecoffee，andseeingthatmycountenanceremainsgraveshetriestoenlivenme，contrivestomakemesmile，andclapsherhandsforjoy。Afterputtingeverythinginorder，sheclosesthedoorbecausethewindishigh，andinheranxietynottoloseonewordofwhatIhavetosay，sheentreatsartlesslyalittleplacenearme。Icannotrefuseher，forIfeelalmostlifeless。
Ithenbeginafaithfulrecitalofthefearfulstateinwhichherbeautyhasthrownme，andavividpictureofallthesufferingIhaveexperiencedintryingtomastermyardentwishtogivehersomeproofofmylove；Iexplaintoherthat，unabletoenduresuchtortureanylonger，Iseenoothersafetybutinentreatinghernottoseemeanymore。Theimportanceofthesubject，thetruthofmylove，mywishtopresentmyexpedientinthelightoftheheroiceffortofadeepandvirtuouspassion，lendmeapeculiareloquence。IendeavourabovealltomakeherrealizethefearfulconsequenceswhichmightfollowacoursedifferenttotheoneIwasproposing，andhowmiserablewemightbe。
AtthecloseofmylongdiscourseLucie，seeingmyeyeswetwithtears，throwsoffthebed—clothestowipethem，withoutthinkingthatinsodoingsheuncoverstwoglobes，thebeautyofwhichmighthavecausedthewreckofthemostexperiencedpilot。Afterashortsilence，thecharmingchildtellsmethatmytearsmakeherveryunhappy，andthatshehadneversupposedthatshecouldcausethem。
\"Allyouhavejusttoldme，\"sheadded，\"provesthesincerityofyourgreatloveforme，butIcannotimaginewhyyoushouldbeinsuchdreadofafeelingwhichaffordsmethemostintensepleasure。Youwishtobanishmefromyourpresencebecauseyoustandinfearofyourlove，butwhatwouldyoudoifyouhatedme？AmIguiltybecauseIhavepleasedyou？Ifitisacrimetohavewonyouraffection，IcanassureyouthatIdidnotthinkIwascommittingacriminalaction，andthereforeyoucannotconscientiouslypunishme。
YetIcannotconcealthetruth；Iamveryhappytobelovedbyyou。
Asforthedangerwerun，whenwelove，dangerwhichIcanunderstand，wecansetitatdefiance，ifwechoose，andIwonderatmynotfearingit，ignorantasIam，whileyou，alearnedman，thinkitsoterrible。Iamastonishedthatlove，whichisnotadisease，shouldhavemadeyouill，andthatitshouldhaveexactlytheoppositeeffectuponme。IsitpossiblethatIammistaken，andthatmyfeelingtowardsyoushouldnotbelove？YousawmeverycheerfulwhenIcameinthismorning；itisbecauseIhavebeendreamingallnight，butmydreamsdidnotkeepmeawake；onlyseveraltimesIwokeuptoascertainwhethermydreamwastrue，forIthoughtIwasnearyou；andeverytime，findingthatitwasnotso，Iquicklywenttosleepagaininthehopeofcontinuingmyhappydream，andeverytimeIsucceeded。Aftersuchanight，wasitnotnaturalformetobecheerfulthismorning？Mydearabbe，ifloveisatormentforyouI
amverysorry，butwoulditbepossibleforyoutolivewithoutlove？
Iwilldoanythingyouordermetodo，but，evenifyourcuredependeduponit，Iwouldnotceasetoloveyou，forthatwouldbeimpossible。Yetiftohealyoursufferingsitshouldbenecessaryforyoutolovemenomore，youmustdoyourutmosttosucceed，forI
wouldmuchratherseeyoualivewithoutlove，thandeadforhavinglovedtoomuch。Onlytrytofindsomeotherplan，fortheoneyouhaveproposedmakesmeverymiserable。Thinkofit，theremaybesomeotherwaywhichwillbelesspainful。Suggestonemorepracticable，anddependuponLucie’sobedience。\"
Thesewords，sotrue，soartless，soinnocent，mademerealizetheimmensesuperiorityofnature’seloquenceoverthatofphilosophicalintellect。ForthefirsttimeIfoldedthisangelicbeinginmyarms，exclaiming，\"Yes，dearestLucie，yes，thouhastitinthypowertoaffordthesweetestrelieftomydevouringpain；abandontomyardentkissesthydivinelipswhichhavejustassuredmeofthylove。\"
Anhourpassedinthemostdelightfulsilence，whichnothinginterruptedexceptthesewordsmurmurednowandthenbyLucie，\"Oh，God！isittrue？isitnotadream？\"YetIrespectedherinnocence，andthemorereadilythatsheabandonedherselfentirelyandwithouttheslightestresistance。Atlast，extricatingherselfgentlyfrommyarms，shesaid，withsomeuneasiness，\"Myheartbeginstospeak，I
mustgo；\"andsheinstantlyrose。Havingsomewhatrearrangedherdressshesatdown，andhermother，cominginatthatmoment，complimentedmeuponmygoodlooksandmybrightcountenance，andtoldLucietodressherselftoattendmass。Luciecamebackanhourlater，andexpressedherjoyandherprideatthewonderfulcureshethoughtshehadperformeduponme，forthehealthyappearanceIwasthenshewingconvincedherofmylovemuchbetterthanthepitifulstateinwhichshehadfoundmeinthemorning。\"Ifyourcompletehappiness，\"shesaid，\"restsinmypower，behappy；thereisnothingthatIcanrefuseyou。\"
Themomentsheleftme，stillwaveringbetweenhappinessandfear，I
understoodthatIwasstandingontheverybrinkoftheabyss，andthatnothingbutamostextraordinarydeterminationcouldpreventmefromfallingheadlongintoit。
IremainedatPaseanuntiltheendofSeptember，andthelastelevennightsofmystaywerepassedintheundisturbedpossessionofLucie，who，secureinhermother’sprofoundsleep，cametomyroomtoenjoyinmyarmsthemostdelicioushours。TheburningardourofmylovewasincreasedbytheabstinencetowhichIcondemnedmyself，althoughLuciedideverythinginherpowertomakemebreakthroughmydetermination。ShecouldnotfullyenjoythesweetnessoftheforbiddenfruitunlessIpluckeditwithoutreserve，andtheeffectproducedbyourconstantlylyingineachother’sarmswastoostrongforayounggirltoresist。Shetriedeverythingshecouldtodeceiveme，andtomakemebelievethatIhadalready，andinreality，gatheredthewholeflower，butBettina’slessonshadbeentooefficienttoallowmetogoonawrongscent，andIreachedtheendofmystaywithoutyieldingentirelytothetemptationshesofondlythrewinmyway。Ipromisedhertoreturninthespring；ourfarewellwastenderandverysad，andIleftherinastateofmindandofbodywhichmusthavebeenthecauseofhermisfortunes，which，twentyyearsafter，IhadoccasiontoreproachmyselfwithinHolland，andwhichwilleverremainuponmyconscience。
AfewdaysaftermyreturntoVenice，Ihadfallenbackintoallmyoldhabits，andresumedmycourtshipofAngelainthehopethatI
wouldobtainfromher，atleast，asmuchasLuciehadgrantedtome。
Acertaindreadwhichto—dayIcannolongertraceinmynature，asortofterroroftheconsequenceswhichmighthaveablightinginfluenceuponmyfuture，preventedmefromgivingmyselfuptocompleteenjoyment。IdonotknowwhetherIhaveeverbeenatrulyhonestman，butIamfullyawarethatthefeelingsIfosteredinmyyouthwerebyfarmoreuprightthanthoseIhave，asIlivedon，forcedmyselftoaccept。Awickedphilosophythrowsdowntoomanyofthesebarrierswhichwecallprejudices。
ThetwosisterswhoweresharingAngela’sembroiderylessonswereherintimatefriendsandtheconfidantesofallhersecrets。Imadetheiracquaintance，andfoundthattheydisapprovedofherextremereservetowardsme。AsIusuallysawthemwithAngelaandknewtheirintimacywithher，Iwould，whenIhappenedtomeetthemalone，tellthemallmysorrows，and，thinkingonlyofmycruelsweetheart，I
neverwasconceitedenoughtoproposethattheseyounggirlsmightfallinlovewithme；butIoftenventuredtospeaktothemwithalltheblazinginspirationwhichwasburninginme——alibertyIwouldnothavedaredtotakeinthepresenceofherwhomIloved。Truelovealwaysbegetsreserve；wefeartobeaccusedofexaggerationifweshouldgiveutterancetofeelingsinspired，bypassion，andthemodestlover，inhisdreadofsayingtoomuch，veryoftensaystoolittle。
Theteacherofembroidery，anoldbigot，whoatfirstappearednottomindtheattachmentIskewedforAngela，gottiredatlastofmytoofrequentvisits，andmentionedthemtotheabbe，theuncleofmyfairlady。HetoldmekindlyonedaythatIoughtnottocallatthathousesooften，asmyconstantvisitsmightbewronglyconstrued，andprovedetrimentaltothereputationofhisniece。Hiswordsfelluponmelikeathunder—bolt，butImasteredmyfeelingssufficientlytoleavehimwithoutincurringanysuspicion，andIpromisedtofollowhisgoodadvice。
Threeorfourdaysafterwards，Ipaidavisittotheteacherofembroidery，and，tomakeherbelievethatmyvisitwasonlyintendedforher，Ididnotstoponeinstantneartheyounggirls；yetI
contrivedtoslipinthehandoftheeldestofthetwosistersanoteenclosinganotherformydearAngela，inwhichIexplainedwhyIhadbeencompelledtodiscontinuemyvisits，entreatinghertodevisesomemeansbywhichIcouldenjoythehappinessofseeingherandofconversingwithher。InmynotetoNanette，Ionlybeggedhertogivemylettertoherfriend，addingthatIwouldseethemagainthedayafterthemorrow，andthatItrustedtohertofindanopportunityfordeliveringmetheanswer。Shemanageditallverycleverly，and，whenIrenewedmyvisittwodaysafterwards，shegavemealetterwithoutattractingtheattentionofanyone。
Nanette’sletterenclosedaveryshortnotefromAngela，who，dislikingletter—writing，merelyadvisedmetofollow，ifIcould，theplanproposedbyherfriend。HereisthecopyoftheletterwrittenbyNanette，whichIhavealwayskept，aswellasallotherletterswhichIgiveintheseMemoirs:
\"Thereisnothingintheworld，reverendsir，thatIwouldnotreadilydoformyfriend。Shevisitsatourhouseeveryholiday，hassupperwithus，andsleepsunderourroof。IwillsuggestthebestwayforyoutomaketheacquaintanceofMadameOrio，ouraunt；but，ifyouobtainanintroductiontoher，youmustbeverycarefulnottolethersuspectyourpreferenceforAngela，forourauntwouldcertainlyobjecttoherhousebeingmadeaplaceofrendezvoustofacilitateyourinterviewswithastrangertoherfamily。NowfortheplanIpropose，andintheexecutionofwhichIwillgiveyoueveryassistanceinmypower。MadameOrio，althoughawomanofgoodstationinlife，isnotwealthy，andshewishestohavehernameenteredonthelistofnoblewidowswhoreceivethebountiesbestowedbytheConfraternityoftheHolySacrament，ofwhichM。deMalipieroispresident。LastSunday，Angelamentionedthatyouareinthegoodgracesofthatnobleman，andthatthebestwaytoobtainhispatronagewouldbetoaskyoutoentreatitinherbehalf。Thefoolishgirladdedthatyouweresmittenwithme，thatallyourvisitstoourmistressofembroideryweremadeformyspecialbenefitandforthesakeofentertainingme，andthatIwouldfinditaveryeasytasktointerestyouinherfavour。Myauntansweredthat，asyouareapriest，therewasnofearofanyharm，andshetoldmetowritetoyouwithaninvitationtocallonher；Irefused。TheprocuratorRosa，whoisagreatfavouriteofmyaunt’s，waspresent；
heapprovedofmyrefusal，sayingthattheletteroughttobewrittenbyherandnotbyme，thatitwasformyaunttobegthehonourofyourvisitonbusinessofrealimportance，andthat，iftherewasanytruthinthereportofyourloveforme，youwouldnotfailtocome。
Myaunt，byhisadvice，hasthereforewrittentheletterwhichyouwillfindatyourhouse。IfyouwishtomeetAngela，postponeyourvisittousuntilnextSunday。ShouldyousucceedinobtainingM。
deMalipiero’sgoodwillinfavourofmyaunt，youwillbecomethepetofthehousehold，butyoumustforgivemeifIappeartotreatyouwithcoolness，forIhavesaidthatIdonotlikeyou。Iwouldadviseyoutomakelovetomyaunt，whoissixtyyearsofage；
M。Rosawillnotbejealous，andyouwillbecomedeartoeveryone。
Formypart，IwillmanageforyouanopportunityforsomeprivateconversationwithAngela，andIwilldoanythingtoconvinceyouofmyfriendship。Adieu。\"
Thisplanappearedtomeverywellconceived，and，havingthesameeveningreceivedMadameOrio’sletter，Icalleduponheronthefollowingday，Sunday。Iwaswelcomedinaveryfriendlymanner，andthelady，entreatingmetoexertinherbehalfmyinfluencewithM。
deMalipiero，entrustedmewithallthepaperswhichImightrequiretosucceed。Iundertooktodomyutmost，andItookcaretoaddressonlyafewwordstoAngela，butIdirectedallmygallantattentionstoNanette，whotreatedmeascoollyascouldbe。Finally，IwonthefriendshipoftheoldprocuratorRosa，who，inafteryears，wasofsomeservicetome。
IhadsomuchatstakeinthesuccessofMadameOrio’spetition，thatIthoughtofnothingelse，andknowingallthepowerofthebeautifulThereseImeroverouramoroussenator，whowouldbebuttoohappytopleaseherinanything，Ideterminedtocalluponherthenextday，andIwentstraighttoherroomwithoutbeingannounced。IfoundheralonewiththephysicianDoro，who，feigningtobeonaprofessionalvisit，wroteaprescription，feltherpulse，andwentoff。ThisDorowassuspectedofbeinginlovewithTherese；M。deMalipiero，whowasjealous，hadforbiddenTheresetoreceivehisvisits，andshehadpromisedtoobeyhim。SheknewthatIwasacquaintedwiththosecircumstances，andmypresencewasevidentlyunpleasanttoher，forshehadcertainlynowishthattheoldmanshouldhearhowshekeptherpromise。IthoughtthatnobetteropportunitycouldbefoundofobtainingfromhereverythingIwished。
Itoldherinafewwordstheobjectofmyvisit，andItookcaretoaddthatshecouldrelyuponmydiscretion，andthatIwouldnotfortheworlddoheranyinjury。Therese，gratefulforthisassurance，answeredthatsherejoicedatfindinganoccasiontoobligeme，and，askingmetogiveherthepapersofmyprotege，sheshewedmethecertificatesandtestimonialsofanotherladyinfavourofwhomshehadundertakentospeak，andwhom，shesaid，shewouldsacrificetothepersoninwhosebehalfIfeltinterested。Shekeptherword，fortheverynextdaysheplacedinmyhandsthebrevet，signedbyhisexcellencyaspresidentoftheconfraternity。Forthepresent，andwiththeexpectationoffurtherfavours，MadameOrio’snamewasputdowntosharethebountieswhichweredistributedtwiceayear。
NanetteandhersisterMartonweretheorphandaughtersofasisterofMadameOrio。Allthefortuneofthegoodladyconsistedinthehousewhichwasherdwelling，thefirstfloorbeinglet，andinapensiongiventoherbyherbrother，memberofthecounciloften。
Shelivedalonewithhertwocharmingnieces，theeldestsixteen，andtheyoungestfifteenyearsofage。Shekeptnoservant，andonlyemployedanoldwoman，who，foronecrownamonth，fetchedwater，anddidtheroughwork。HeronlyfriendwastheprocuratorRosa；hehad，likeher，reachedhissixtiethyear，andexpectedtomarryherassoonasheshouldbecomeawidower。
Thetwosistersslepttogetheronthethirdfloorinalargebed，whichwaslikewisesharedbyAngelaeverySunday。
AssoonasIfoundmyselfinpossessionofthedeedforMadameOrio，Ihastenedtopayavisittothemistressofembroidery，inordertofindanopportunityofacquaintingNanettewithmysuccess，andinashortnotewhichIprepared，IinformedherthatintwodaysIwouldcalltogivethebrevettoMadameOrio，andIbeggedherearnestlynottoforgetherpromisetocontriveaprivateinterviewwithmydearAngela。
WhenIarrived，ontheappointedday，atMadameOrio’shouse，Nanette，whohadwatchedformycoming，dexterouslyconveyedtomyhandabillet，requestingmetofindamomenttoreaditbeforeleavingthehouse。IfoundMadameOrio，Angela，theoldprocurator，andMartonintheroom。Longingtoreadthenote，Irefusedtheseatofferedtome，andpresentingtoMadameOriothedeedshehadsolongdesired，Iasked，asmyonlyreward，thepleasureofkissingherhand，givinghertounderstandthatIwantedtoleavetheroomimmediately。
\"Oh，mydearabbe！\"saidthelady，\"youshallhaveakiss，butnotonmyhand，andnoonecanobjecttoit，asIamthirtyyearsolderthanyou。\"
Shemighthavesaidforty—fivewithoutgoingmuchastray。Igavehertwokisses，whichevidentlysatisfiedher，forshedesiredmetoperformthesameceremonywithhernieces，buttheybothranaway，andAngelaalonestoodthebruntofmyhardihood。Afterthisthewidowaskedmetositdown。
\"Icannot，Madame。\"
\"Why，Ibeg？\"
\"Ihave——。\"
\"Iunderstand。Nanette，shewtheway。\"
\"Dearaunt，excuseme。\"
\"Well，then，Marton。\"
\"Oh！dearaunt，whydoyounotinsistuponmysisterobeyingyourorders？\"
\"Alas！madame，theseyoungladiesarequiteright。Allowmetoretire。\"
\"No，mydearabbe，myniecesareveryfoolish；M。Rosa，Iamsure，willkindly。\"
Thegoodprocuratortakesmeaffectionatelybythehand，andleadsmetothethirdstory，whereheleavesme。ThemomentIamaloneIopenmyletter，andIreadthefollowing:
\"Myauntwillinviteyoutosupper；donotaccept。Goawayassoonaswesitdowntotable，andMartonwillescortyouasfarasthestreetdoor，butdonotleavethehouse。Whenthestreetdoorisclosedagain，everyonethinkingyouaregone，goupstairsinthedarkasfarasthethirdfloor，whereyoumustwaitforus。WewillcomeupthemomentM。Rosahasleftthehouse，andouraunthasgonetobed。Angelawillbeatlibertytograntyouthroughoutthenightatete—a—tetewhich，Itrust，willproveahappyone。\"
Oh！whatjoy—whatgratitudefortheluckychancewhichallowedmetoreadthisletterontheveryspotwhereIwastoexpectthedearabjectofmylove！Certainoffindingmywaywithouttheslightestdifficulty，IreturnedtoMadameOrio’ssitting—room，overwhelmedwithhappiness。
CHAPTERV
AnUnluckyNightIFallinLovewiththeTwoSisters，andForgetAngela——ABallatMyHouse——Juliette’sHumiliation——MyReturntoPasian——Lucie’sMisfortune——APropitiousStormOnmyreappearance，MadameOriotoldme，withmanyheart—feltthanks，thatImustforthefutureconsidermyselfasaprivilegedandwelcomefriend，andtheeveningpassedoffverypleasantly。Asthehourforsupperdrewnear，IexcusedmyselfsowellthatMadameOriocouldnotinsistuponmyacceptingherinvitationtostay。Martonrosetolightmeoutoftheroom，butheraunt，believingNanettetobemyfavourite，gavehersuchanimperativeordertoaccompanymethatshewascompelledtoobey。Shewentdownthestairsrapidly，openedandclosedthestreetdoorverynoisily，andputtingherlightout，shereenteredthesittingroom，leavingmeindarkness。Iwentupstairssoftly:whenIreachedthethirdlandingIfoundthechamberofthetwosisters，and，throwingmyselfuponasofa，Iwaitedpatientlyfortherisingofthestarofmyhappiness。Anhourpassedamidstthesweetestdreamsofmyimagination；atlastIhearthenoiseofthestreetdooropeningandclosing，and，afewminutesafter，thetwosisterscomeinwithmyAngela。Idrawhertowardsme，andcaringfornobodyelse，Ikeepupfortwofullhoursmyconversationwithher。Theclockstrikesmidnight；Iampitiedforhavinggonesolatesupperless，butIamshockedatsuchanidea；I
answerthat，withsuchhappinessasIamenjoying，Icansufferfromnohumanwant。IamtoldthatIamaprisoner，thatthekeyofthehousedoorisundertheaunt’spillow，andthatitisopenedonlybyherselfasshegoesinthemorningtothefirstmass。Iwonderatmyyoungfriendsimaginingthatsuchnewscanbeanythingbutdelightfultome。Iexpressallmyjoyatthecertaintyofpassingthenextfivehourswiththebelovedmistressofmyheart。Anotherhourisspent，whensuddenlyNanettebeginstolaugh，Angelawantstoknowthereason，andMartonwhisperingafewwordstoher，theybothlaughlikewise。Thispuzzlesme。Inmyturn，Iwanttoknowwhatcausesthisgenerallaughter，andatlastNanette，puttingonanairofanxiety，tellsmethattheyhavenomorecandle，andthatinafewminutesweshallbeinthedark。Thisisapieceofnewsparticularlyagreeabletome，butIdonotletmysatisfactionappearonmycountenance，andsayinghowtrulyIamsorryfortheirsake，I
proposethattheyshouldgotobedandsleepquietlyundermyrespectfulguardianship。Myproposalincreasestheirmerriment。