[\"Ifnobilitybevirtue,itlosesitsqualityinallthingswhereinnotvirtuous:andifitbenotvirtue,’tisasmallmatter。\"
——LaByuyere。]
’tisavirtue,ifitbeone,thatisartificialandapparent,dependingupontimeandfortune:variousinform,accordingtothecountry;livingandmortal;withoutbirth,astheriverNile;genealogicalandcommon;,ofsuccessionandsimilitude;drawnbyconsequence,andaveryweakone。
Knowledge,strength,goodness,beauty,riches,andallotherqualities,fallintocommunicationandcommerce,butthisisconsummatedinitself,andofnousetotheserviceofothers。Therewasproposedtooneofourkingsthechoiceoftwocandidatesforthesamecommand,ofwhomonewasagentleman,theothernot;heorderedthat,withoutrespecttoquality,theyshouldchoosehimwhohadthemostmerit;butwheretheworthofthecompetitorsshouldappeartobeentirelyequal,theyshouldhaverespecttobirth:thiswasjustlytogiveititsrank。Ayoungmanunknown,comingtoAntigonustomakesuitforhisfather’scommand,avaliantmanlatelydead:\"Friend,\"saidhe,\"insuchprefermentsasthese,Ihavenotsomuchregardtothenobilityofmysoldiersastotheirprowess。\"
And,indeed,itoughtnottogoasitdidwiththeofficersofthekingsofSparta,trumpeters,fiddlers,cooks,thechildrenofwhomalwayssucceededtotheirplaces,howignorantsoever,andwerepreferredbeforethemostexperiencedinthetrade。TheyofCalicutmakeofnoblesasortofsuperhumanpersons:theyareinterdictedmarriageandallbutwarlikeemployments:theymayhaveofconcubinestheirfill,andthewomenasmanylovers,withoutbeingjealousofoneanother;but’tisacapitalandirremissiblecrimetocouplewithapersonofmeanerconditionsthanthemselves;andtheythinkthemselvespolluted,iftheyhavebuttouchedoneinwalkingalong;andsupposingtheirnobilitytobemarvellouslyinterestedandinjuredinit,killsuchasonlyapproachalittletoonearthem:insomuchthattheignobleareobligedtocryoutastheywalk,likethegondoliersofVenice,attheturningsofstreetsforfearofjostling;andthenoblescommandthemtostepasidetowhatparttheyplease:bythatmeanstheseavoidwhattheyreputeaperpetualignominy,thosecertaindeath。Notime,nofavouroftheprince,nooffice,orvirtue,orriches,caneverprevailtomakeaplebeianbecomenoble:towhichthiscustomcontributes,thatmarriagesareinterdictedbetwixtdifferenttrades;thedaughterofoneofthecordwainers’gildisnotpermittedtomarryacarpenter;andparentsareobligedtotrainuptheirchildrenpreciselyintheirowncallings,andnotputthemtoanyothertrade;bywhichmeansthedistinctionandcontinuanceoftheirfortunesaremaintained。
Agoodmarriage,iftherebeanysuch,rejectsthecompanyandconditionsoflove,andtriestorepresentthoseoffriendship。’Tisasweetsocietyoflife,fullofconstancy,trust,andaninfinitenumberofusefulandsolidservicesandmutualobligations;whichanywomanwhohasarighttaste:
\"Optatoquamjunxitluminetaeda\"——
[\"Whomthemarriagetorchhasjoinedwiththedesiredlight。\"
——Catullus,lxiv。79。]
wouldbelothtoserveherhusbandinqualityofamistress。Ifshebelodgedinhisaffectionasawife,sheismorehonourablyandsecurelyplaced。Whenhepurportstobeinlovewithanother,andworksallhecantoobtainhisdesire,letanyonebutaskhim,onwhichhehadratheradisgraceshouldfall,hiswifeorhismistress,whichoftheirmisfortuneswouldmostafflicthim,andtowhichofthemhewishesthemostgrandeur,theanswertothesequestionsisoutofdisputeinasoundmarriage。
Andthatsofewareobservedtobehappy,isatokenofitspriceandvalue。Ifwellformedandrightlytaken,’tisthebestofallhumansocieties;wecannotlivewithoutit,andyetwedonothingbutdecryit。
Ithappens,aswithcages,thebirdswithoutdespairtogetin,andthosewithindespairofgettingout。Socratesbeingasked,whetheritwasmorecommodioustotakeawifeornot,\"Letamantakewhichcoursehewill,\"
saidhe;\"hewillrepent。\"’Tisacontracttowhichthecommonsaying:
\"Homohominiautdeusautlupus,\"
[\"Mantomaniseitheragodorawolf。\"——Erasmus,Adag。]
mayveryfitlybeapplied;theremustbeaconcurrenceofmanyqualitiesintheconstruction。Itisfoundnowadaysmoreconvenientforsimpleandplebeiansouls,wheredelights,curiosity,andidlenessdonotsomuchdisturbit;butextravaganthumours,suchasmine,thathateallsortsofobligationandrestraint,arenotsoproperforit:
\"Etmihidulcemagisresolutoviverecollo。\"
[\"Anditissweettometolivewithaloosenedneck。\"
——PseudoGallus,i。61。]
MightIhavehadmyownwill,IwouldnothavemarriedWisdomherself,ifshewouldhavehadme。But’tistomuchpurposetoevadeit;thecommoncustomandusanceoflifewillhaveitso。Themostofmyactionsareguidedbyexample,notbychoice,andyetIdidnotgotoitofmyownvoluntarymotion;Iwasledanddrawntoitbyextrinsicoccasions;fornotonlythingsthatareincommodiousinthemselves,butalsothingshoweverugly,vicious,andtobeavoided,mayberenderedacceptablebysomeconditionoraccident;sounsteadyandvainisallhumanresolution!
andIwaspersuadedtoit,whenworsepreparedandlesstractablethanI
amatpresent,thatIhavetriedwhatitis:andasgreatalibertineasIamtakentobe,Ihaveintruthmorestrictlyobservedthelawsofmarriage,thanIeitherpromisedorexpected。’Tisinvaintokick,whenamanhasonceputonhisfetters:amanmustprudentlymanagehisliberty;buthavingoncesubmittedtoobligation,hemustconfinehimselfwithinthelawsofcommonduty,atleast,dowhathecantowardsit。
Theywhoengageinthiscontract,withadesigntocarrythemselvesinitwithhatredandcontempt,doanunjustandinconvenientthing;andthefinerulethatIhearpassfromhandtohandamongstthewomen,asasacredoracle:
[\"Servethyhusbandasthymaster,butguardthyselfagainsthimasfromatraitor。\"]
whichistosay,comportthyselftowardshimwithadissembled,inimical,anddistrustfulreverence(acryofwaranddefiance),isequallyinjuriousandhard。Iamtoomildforsuchruggeddesigns:tosaythetruth,Iamnotarrivedtothatperfectionofabilityandrefinementofwit,toconfoundreasonwithinjustice,andtolaughatallruleandorderthatdoesnotpleasemypalate;becauseIhatesuperstition,Idonotpresentlyrunintothecontraryextremeofirreligion。
(Ifamanhatesuperstitionhecannotlovereligion。D。W。)
Ifamandoesnotalwaysperformhisduty,heoughtatleasttoloveandacknowledgeit;’tistreacherytomarrywithoutespousing。
Letusproceed。
Ourpoetrepresentsamarriagehappyinagoodaccordwhereinneverthelessthereisnotmuchloyalty。Doeshemean,thatitisnotimpossiblebutawomanmaygivethereinstoherownpassion,andyieldtotheimportunitiesoflove,andyetreservesomedutytowardmarriage,andthatitmaybehurt,withoutbeingtotallybroken?Aservingmanmaycheathismaster,whomneverthelesshedoesnothate。Beauty,opportunity,anddestiny(fordestinyhasalsoahandin’t),\"FatumestinpartibusillisQuassinusabscondit;nam,sitibisideracessent,Nilfacietlongimensuraincognitanervi;\"
[\"Thereisafatalityaboutthehiddenparts:letnaturehaveendowedyouhoweverliberally,’tisofnouse,ifyourgoodstarfailsyouinthenickoftime。\"——Juvenal,ix。32。]
haveattachedhertoastranger;thoughnotsowholly,peradventure,butthatshemayhavesomeremainsofkindnessforherhusband。Theyaretwodesigns,thathaveseveralpathsleadingtothem,withoutbeingconfoundedwithoneanother;awomanmayyieldtoamanshewouldbynomeanshavemarried,notonlyfortheconditionofhisfortune,butforthosealsoofhisperson。Fewmenhavemadeawifeofamistress,whohavenotrepentedit。Andevenintheotherworld,whatanunhappylifedoesJupiterleadwithhis,whomhehadfirstenjoyedasamistress!
’Tis,astheproverbruns,tobefoulabasketandthenputituponone’shead。Ihaveinmytime,inagoodfamily,seenloveshamefullyanddishonestlycuredbymarriage:theconsiderationsarewidelydifferent。
Weloveatonce,withoutanytie,twothingscontraryinthemselves。
Socrateswaswonttosay,thatthecityofAthenspleased,asladiesdowhommencourtforlove;everyonelovedtocomethithertotakeaturn,andpassawayhistime;butnoonelikeditsowellastoespouseit,thatis,toinhabitthere,andtomakeithisconstantresidence。Ihavebeenvexedtoseehusbandshatetheirwivesonlybecausetheythemselvesdothemwrong;weshouldnot,atallevents,methinks,lovethemthelessforourownfaults;theyshouldatleast,upontheaccountofrepentanceandcompassion,bedearertous。
Theyaredifferentends,hesays,andyetinsomesortcompatible;
marriagehasutility,justice,honour,andconstancyforitsshare;
aflat,butmoreuniversalpleasure:lovefoundsitselfwhollyuponpleasure,and,indeed,hasitmorefull,lively,andsharp;apleasureinflamedbydifficulty;theremustbeinitstingandsmart:’tisnolongerlove,ifwithoutdartsandfire。Thebountyofladiesistooprofuseinmarriage,anddullsthepointofaffectionanddesire:toevadewhichinconvenience,dobutobservewhatpainsLycurgusandPlatotakeintheirlaws。
Womenarenottoblameatall,whentheyrefusetherulesoflifethatareintroducedintotheworld,forasmuchasthemenmakethemwithouttheirhelp。Thereisnaturallycontentionandbrawlingbetwixtthemandus;andthestrictestfriendshipwehavewiththemisyetmixedwithtumultandtempest。Intheopinionofourauthor,wedealinconsideratelywiththeminthis:afterwehavediscoveredthattheyare,withoutcomparison,moreableandardentinthepracticeoflovethanwe,andthattheoldpriesttestifiedasmuch,whohadbeenonewhileaman,andthenawoman:
\"Venushuiceratutraquenota:\"
[\"Bothaspectsoflovewereknowntohim,\"
——Tiresias。Ovid。Metam。,iii。323。]
andmoreover,thatwehavelearnedfromtheirownmouthstheproofthat,inseveralages,wasmadebyanEmperorandEmpressofRome,——[Proclus。]
——bothfamousforabilityinthataffair!forheinonenightdefloweredtenSarmatianvirginswhowerehiscaptives:butshehadfive—and—twentyboutsinonenight,changinghermanaccordingtoherneedandliking;
\"AdhucardensrigidaetentiginevulvaeEtlassataviris,nondumsatiata,recessit:\"
[\"Ardentstill,sheretired,fatigued,butnotsatisfied。\"
——Juvenal,vi。128。]
andthatuponthedisputewhichhappenedinCataluna,whereinawifecomplainingofherhusband’stoofrequentaddressestoher,notsomuch,asIconceive,thatshewasincommodatedbyit(forIbelievenomiraclesoutofreligion)asunderthispretence,tocurtailandcurbinthis,whichisthefundamentalactofmarriage,theauthorityofhusbandsovertheirwives,andtoshewthattheirfrowardnessandmalignitygobeyondthenuptialbed,andspurnunderfooteventhegracesandsweetsofVenus;thehusband,amantrulybrutishandunnatural,replied,thatevenonfastingdayshecouldnotsubsistwithlessthantencourses:
whereuponcameoutthatnotablesentenceoftheQueenofArragon,bywhich,aftermaturedeliberationofhercouncil,thisgoodqueen,togivearuleandexampletoallsucceedingagesofthemoderationrequiredinajustmarriage,setdownsixtimesadayasalegitimateandnecessarystint;surrenderingandquittingagreatdealoftheneedsanddesiresofhersex,thatshemight,shesaid,establishaneasy,andconsequently,apermanentandimmutablerule。Hereuponthedoctorscryout:whatmustthefemaleappetiteandconcupiscencebe,whentheirreason,theirreformationandvirtue,aretaxedatsucharate,consideringthediversjudgmentsofourappetites?forSolon,masterofthelawschool,taxesusbutatthreeamonth,——thatmenmaynotfailinpointofconjugalfrequentation:afterhaving,Isay,believedandpreachedallthis,wegoandenjointhemcontinencyfortheirparticularshare,anduponthelastandextremepenalties。
Thereisnopassionsohardtocontendwithasthis,whichwewouldhavethemonlyresist,notsimplyasanordinaryvice,butasanexecrableabomination,worsethanirreligionandparricide;whilstwe,atthesametime,goto’twithoutoffenceorreproach。Eventhoseamongstuswhohavetriedtheexperimenthavesufficientlyconfessedwhatdifficulty,orratherimpossibility,theyhavefoundbymaterialremediestosubdue,weaken,andcoolthebody。We,onthecontrary,wouldhavethematoncesound,vigorousplump,high—fed,andchaste;thatistosay,bothhotandcold;forthemarriage,whichwetellthemistokeepthemfromburning,isbutsmallrefreshmenttothem,asweorderthematter。Iftheytakeonewhosevigorousageisyetboiling,hewillbeproudtomakeitknownelsewhere;
\"Sittandempudor;auteamusinjus;
Multismentulamillibusredempta,Nonesthaectua,Basse;vendidisti;\"
[\"Lettherebesomeshame,orweshallgotolaw:yourvigour,boughtbyyourwifewithmanythousands,isnolongeryours:thouhastsoldit。——\"Martial,xii。90。]
Polemonthephilosopherwasjustlybyhiswifebroughtbeforethejudgeforsowinginabarrenfieldtheseedthatwasduetoonethatwasfruitful:if,ontheotherhand,theytakeadecayedfellow,theyareinaworseconditioninmarriagethaneithermaidsorwidows。Wethinkthemwellprovidedfor,becausetheyhaveamantoliewith,astheRomansconcludedClodiaLaeta,avestalnun,violated,becauseCaligulahadapproachedher,thoughitwasdeclaredhedidnomorebutapproachher:
but,onthecontrary,webythatincreasetheirnecessity,forasmuchasthetouchandcompanyofanymanwhateverrousestheirdesires,thatinsolitudewouldbemorequiet。Andtotheend,’tislikely,thattheymightrendertheirchastitymoremeritoriousbythiscircumstanceandconsideration,BoleslasandKingehiswife,kingsofPoland,voweditbymutualconsent,beinginbedtogether,ontheirveryweddingday,andkepttheirvowinspiteofallmatrimonialconveniences。
Wetrainthemupfromtheirinfancytothetrafficoflove;theirgrace,dressing,knowledge,language,andwholeinstructiontendthatway:theirgovernessesimprintnothinginthembuttheideaoflove,iffornothingelsebutbycontinuallyrepresentingittothem,togivethemadistasteforit。Mydaughter,theonlychildIhave,isnowofanagethatforwardyoungwomenareallowedtobemarriedat;sheisofaslow,thin,andtendercomplexion,andhasaccordinglybeenbroughtupbyhermotherafteraretiredandparticularmanner,sothatshebutnowbeginstobeweanedfromherchildishsimplicity。ShewasreadingbeforemeinaFrenchbookwheretheword’fouteau’,thenameofatreeverywellknown,occurred;——[Thebeech—tree;thenameresemblesinsoundanobsceneFrenchword。]——thewoman,towhoseconductsheiscommitted,stoppedhershortalittleroughly,andmadeherskipoverthatdangerousstep。I
letheralone,nottotroubletheirrules,forIneverconcernmyselfinthatsortofgovernment;femininepolityhasamysteriousprocedure;wemustleaveittothem;butifIamnotmistakenthecommerceoftwentylacquiescouldnot,insixmonths’time,havesoimprintedinhermemorythemeaning,usage,andalltheconsequenceofthesoundofthesewickedsyllables,asthisgoodoldwomandidbyreprimandandinterdiction。
\"MotusdocerigaudetIonicosMaturavirgo,etfrangiturartibus;
JamnuncetincestosamoresDetenero,meditaturungui。\"
[\"ThemaidripeformarriagedelightstolearnIonicdances,andtoimitatethoselasciviousmovements。Nay,alreadyfromherinfancyshemeditatescriminalamours。\"——Horace,Od。,iii。6,21。,thetexthas’fingitur’。]
Letthembutgivethemselvesthereinalittle,letthembutenterintolibertyofdiscourse,wearebutchildrentotheminthisscience。Hearthembutdescribeourpursuitsandconversation,theywillverywellmakeyouunderstandthatwebringthemnothingtheyhavenotknownbefore,anddigestedwithoutourhelp。
[Thissentencereferstoaconversationbetweensomeyoungwomeninhisimmediateneighbourhood,whichtheEssayistjustbelowinformsusthatheoverheard,andwhichwastooshockingforhimtorepeat。
Itmusthavebeentolerablybad。——Remarkbytheeditorofalateredition。]
Isit,perhaps,asPlatosays,thattheyhaveformerlybeendebauchedyoungfellows?IhappenedonedaytobeinaplacewhereIcouldhearsomeoftheirtalkwithoutsuspicion;IamsorryIcannotrepeatit。
By’rlady,saidI,wehadneedgostudythephrasesofAmadis,andthetalesofBoccaccioandAretin,tobeabletodiscoursewiththem:weemployourtimetomuchpurposeindeed。Thereisneitherword,example,norsteptheyarenotmoreperfectinthanourbooks;’tisadisciplinethatspringswiththeirblood,\"EtmentemipsaVenusdedit,\"
[\"Venusherselfmadethemwhattheyare,\"
——Virg。,Georg。,iii。267。]
whichthesegoodinstructors,nature,youth,andhealth,arecontinuallyinspiringthemwith;theyneednotlearn,theybreedit:
\"Nectantumniveogavisaestullacolumbo,Compar,velsiquiddiciturimprobius,Osculamordentisemperdecerpererostro,Quantumpraecipuemultivolaestmulier。\"
[\"Nomilk—whitedove,oriftherebeathingmorelascivious,takessomuchdelightinkissingaswoman,wishfulforeverymanshesees。\"——Catullus,lxvi。125。]
Sothatifthenaturalviolenceoftheirdesirewerenotalittlerestrainedbyfearandhonour,whichwerewiselycontrivedforthem,weshouldbeallshamed。Allthemotionsintheworldresolveintoandtendtothisconjunction;’tisamatterinfusedthroughout:’tisacentretowhichallthingsaredirected。WeyetseetheedictsoftheoldandwiseRomemadefortheserviceoflove,andthepreceptsofSocratesfortheinstructionofcourtezans:
\"NonconlibelliStoiciintersericosJacerepulvillosamant:\"
[\"TherearewritingsoftheStoicswhichwefindlyinguponsilkencushions。\"——Horace,Epod。,viii。15。]
Zeno,amongsthislaws,alsoregulatedthemotionstobeobservedingettingamaidenhead。WhatwasthephilosopherStrato’sbookOfCarnalConjunction?——[DiogenesLaertius,v。59。]——AndwhatdidTheophrastustreatofinthoseheintituled,theone’TheLover’,andtheother’OfLove?’OfwhatAristippusinhis’OfFormerDelights’?WhatdothesolongandlivelydescriptionsinPlatoofthelovesofhistimepretendto?andthebookcalled’TheLover’,ofDemetriusPhalereus?and’Clinias’,orthe’RavishedLover’,ofHeraclides;andthatofAntisthenes,’OfGettingChildren’,or,’OfWeddings’,andtheother,’OftheMasterortheLover’?AndthatofAristo:’OfAmorousExercises’
WhatthoseofCleanthes:one,’OfLove’,theother,’OftheArtofLoving’?TheamorousdialoguesofSphaereus?andthefableofJupiterandJuno,ofChrysippus,impudentbeyondalltoleration?Andhisfiftysolasciviousepistles?IwillletalonethewritingsofthephilosophersoftheEpicureansect,protectressofvoluptuousness。Fiftydeitieswere,intimepast,assignedtothisoffice;andtherehavebeennationswhere,toassuagethelustofthosewhocametotheirdevotion,theykeptmenandwomenintheirtemplesfortheworshipperstoliewith;
anditwasanactofceremonytodothisbeforetheywenttoprayers:
\"Nimirumproptercontinentiamincontinentianecessariaest;
incendiumignibusextinguitur。\"
[\"Forsoothincontinencyisnecessaryforcontinency’ssake;aconflagrationisextinguishedbyfire。\"]
Inthegreatestpartoftheworld,thatmemberofourbodywasdeified;
inthesameprovince,someflayedofftheskintoofferandconsecrateapiece;othersofferedandconsecratedtheirseed。Inanother,theyoungmenpubliclycutthroughbetwixttheskinandthefleshofthatpartinseveralplaces,andthrustpiecesofwoodintotheopeningsaslongandthickastheywouldreceive,andofthesepiecesofwoodafterwardsmadeafireasanofferingtotheirgods;andwerereputedneithervigorousnorchaste,ifbytheforceofthatcruelpaintheyseemedtobeatalldismayed。Elsewherethemostsacredmagistratewasreverencedandacknowledgedbythatmemberandinseveralceremoniestheeffigyofitwascarriedinpomptothehonourofvariousdivinities。TheEgyptianladies,intheirBacchanalia,eachcarriedonefinely—carvedofwoodabouttheirnecks,aslargeandheavyasshecouldsocarryit;besideswhich,thestatueoftheirgodpresentedone,whichingreatnesssurpassedalltherestofhisbody。——[Herodotus,ii。48,says\"nearlyaslargeasthebodyitself。\"]——Themarriedwomen,neartheplacewhereIlive,makeoftheirkerchiefsthefigureofoneupontheirforeheads,toglorifythemselvesintheenjoymenttheyhaveofit;andcomingtobewidows,theythrowitbehind,andcoveritwiththeirheadcloths。ThemostmodestmatronsofRomethoughtitanhonourtoofferflowersandgarlandstothegodPriapus;andtheymadethevirgins,atthetimeoftheirespousals,situponhisshamefulparts。AndIknownotwhetherI
havenotinmytimeseensomeairoflikedevotion。Whatwasthemeaningofthatridiculouspieceofthechaussuyeofourforefathers,andthatisstillwornbyourSwiss?[\"Cod—piecesworn\"——Cotton}——Towhatenddowemakeashowofourimplementsinfigureunderourbreeches,andoften,whichisworse,abovetheirnaturalsize,byfalsehoodandimposture?
Ihavehalfamindtobelievethatthissortofvestmentwasinventedinthebetterandmoreconscientiousages,thattheworldmightnotbedeceived,andthateveryoneshouldgiveapublicaccountofhisproportions:thesimplenationswearthemyet,andnearabouttherealsize。Inthosedays,thetailortookmeasureofit,astheshoemakerdoesnowofaman’sfoot。Thatgoodman,who,whenIwasyoung,geldedsomanynobleandancientstatuesinhisgreatcity,thattheymightnotcorruptthesightoftheladies,accordingtotheadviceofthisotherancientworthy:
\"Flagitiiprincipiumest,nudareintergivescorpora,\"
[\"’Tisthebeginningofwickednesstoexposetheirpersonsamongthecitizens\"——Ennius,ap。Cicero,Tusc。Quaes。,iv。33。]
shouldhavecalledtomind,that,asinthemysteriesoftheBonaDea,allmasculineappearancewasexcluded,hedidnothing,ifhedidnotgeldhorsesandasses,inshort,allnature:
\"Omneadeogenusinterris,hominumque,ferarumque,Etgenusaequoreum,pecudes,pictaequevolucres,Infuriasignemqueruunt。\"
[\"Sothatalllivingthings,menandanimals,wildortame,andfishandgaudyfowl,rushtothisflameoflove。\"
——Virgil,Georg。,iii。244。]
Thegods,saysPlato,havegivenusonedisobedientandunrulymemberthat,likeafuriousanimal,attempts,bytheviolenceofitsappetite,tosubjectallthingstoit;andsotheyhavegiventowomenonelikeagreedyandravenousanimal,which,ifitberefusedfoodinseason,growswild,impatientofdelay,andinfusingitsrageintotheirbodies,stopsthepassages,andhindersrespiration,causingathousandills,till,havingimbibedthefruitofthecommonthirst,ithasplentifullybedewedthebottomoftheirmatrix。Nowmylegislator——[ThePopewho,asMontaignehastoldus,tookitintohisheadtogeldthestatues。]——
shouldalsohaveconsideredthat,peradventure,itwereachasterandmorefruitfulusagetoletthemknowthefactasitisbetimes,thanpermitthemtoguessaccordingtothelibertyandheatoftheirownfancy;insteadoftherealpartstheysubstitute,throughhopeanddesire,othersthatarethreetimesmoreextravagant;andacertainfriendofminelosthimselfbyproducinghisinplaceandtimewhentheopportunitywasnotpresenttoputthemtotheirmoreserioususe。Whatmischiefdonotthosepicturesofprodigiousdimensiondothattheboysmakeuponthestaircasesandgalleriesoftheroyalhouses?theygivetheladiesacruelcontemptofournaturalfurniture。AndwhatdoweknowbutthatPlato,afterotherwell—institutedrepublics,orderedthatthemenandwomen,oldandyoung,shouldexposethemselvesnakedtotheviewofoneanother,inhisgymnasticexercises,uponthatveryaccount?TheIndianwomenwhoseethemenintheirnaturalstate,haveatleastcooledthesenseofseeing。AndletthewomenofthekingdomofPegusaywhattheywill,whobelowthewaisthavenothingtocoverthembutaclothslitbefore,andsostrait,thatwhatdecencyandmodestysoevertheypretendbyit,ateverystepallistobeseen,thatitisaninventiontoallurethementothem,andtodivertthemfromboys,towhomthatnationisgenerallyinclined;yet,peradventuretheylosemorebyitthantheyget,andonemayventuretosay,thatanentireappetiteismoresharpthanonealreadyhalf—gluttedbytheeyes。Liviawaswonttosay,thattoavirtuouswomananakedmanwasbutastatue。TheLacedaemonianwomen,morevirginswhenwivesthanourdaughtersare,saweverydaytheyoungmenoftheircitystrippednakedintheirexercises,themselveslittleheedingtocovertheirthighsinwalking,believingthemselves,saysPlato,sufficientlycoveredbytheirvirtuewithoutanyotherrobe。
Butthose,ofwhomSt。Augustinspeaks,havegivennudityawonderfulpoweroftemptation,whohavemadeitadoubt,whetherwomenatthedayofjudgmentshallriseagainintheirownsex,andnotratherinours,forfearoftemptingusagaininthatholystate。Inbrief,weallureandfleshthembyallsortsofways:weincessantlyheatandstiruptheirimagination,andthenwefindfault。Letusconfessthetruth;
thereisscarceoneofuswhodoesnotmoreapprehendtheshamethataccruestohimbythevicesofhiswifethanbyhisown,andthatisnotmoresolicitous(awonderfulcharity)oftheconscienceofhisvirtuouswifethanofhisown;whohadnotrathercommittheftandsacrilege,andthathiswifewasamurderessandaheretic,thanthatsheshouldnotbemorechastethanherhusband:anunjustestimateofvices。Bothweandtheyarecapableofathousandcorruptionsmoreprejudicialandunnaturalthanlust:butweweighvices,notaccordingtonature,butaccordingtoourinterest;bywhichmeanstheytakesomanyunequalforms。
Theausterityofourdecreesrenderstheapplicationofwomentothisvicemoreviolentandviciousthanitsownconditionneeds,andengagesitinconsequencesworsethantheircause:theywillreadilyoffertogotothelawcourtstoseekforgain,andtothewarstogetreputation,ratherthaninthemidstofeaseanddelights,tohavetokeepsodifficultaguard。Donottheyverywellseethatthereisneithermerchantnorsoldierwhowillnotleavehisbusinesstorunafterthissport,ortheporterorcobbler,toiledandtiredoutastheyarewithlabourandhunger?
\"Numtu,quxtenuitdivesAchaemenes,AutpinguisPhrygiaeMygdoniasopes,PermutareveliscrineLicymnim?
PlenasautArabumdomos,DumfragrantiadetorquetadosculaCervicem,autfacilisxvitianegat,Quaeposcentemagisgaudeateripi,Interdumrapereoccupet?\"
[\"WouldstthounotexchangeallthatthewealthyArhaemeneshad,ortheMygdonianrichesoffertilePhrygia,foroneringletofLicymnia’shair?orthetreasuresoftheArabians,whensheturnsherheadtoyouforfragrantkisses,orwitheasilyassuagedangerdeniesthem,whichshewouldratherbyfaryoutookbyforce,andsometimesherselfsnatchesone!\"——Horace,Od。,ii。12,21。]
IdonotknowwhethertheexploitsofAlexanderandCaesarreallysurpasstheresolutionofabeautifulyoungwoman,bredupafterourfashion,inthelightandcommerceoftheworld,assailedbysomanycontraryexamples,andyetkeepingherselfentireinthemidstofathousandcontinualandpowerfulsolicitations。Thereisnodoingmoredifficultthanthatnotdoing,normoreactive:
Iholditmoreeasytocarryasuitofarmourallthedaysofone’slifethanamaidenhead;andthevowofvirginityofallothersisthemostnoble,asbeingthehardesttokeep:
\"Diabolivirtusinlumbisest,\"
saysSt。Jerome。Wehave,doubtless,resignedtotheladiesthemostdifficultandmostvigorousofallhumanendeavours,andletusresigntothemtheglorytoo。Thisoughttoencouragethemtobeobstinateinit;
’tisabravethingforthemtodefyus,andtospurnunderfootthatvainpre—eminenceofvalourandvirtuethatwepretendtohaveoverthem;theywillfindiftheydobutobserveit,thattheywillnotonlybemuchmoreesteemedforit,butalsomuchmorebeloved。Agallantmandoesnotgiveoverhispursuitforbeingrefused,provideditbearefusalofchastity,andnotofchoice;wemayswear,threaten,andcomplaintomuchpurpose;
wethereindobutlie,forwelovethemallthebetter:thereisnoallurementlikemodesty,ifitbenotrudeandcrabbed。’Tisstupidityandmeannesstobeobstinateagainsthatredanddisdain;butagainstavirtuousandconstantresolution,mixedwithgoodwill,’tistheexerciseofanobleandgeneroussoul。Theymayacknowledgeourservicetoacertaindegree,andgiveuscivillytounderstandthattheydisdainusnot;forthelawthatenjoinsthemtoabominateusbecauseweadorethem,andtohateusbecausewelovethem,iscertainlyverycruel,ifbutforthedifficultyofit。Whyshouldtheynotgiveeartoouroffersandrequests,solongastheyarekeptwithintheboundsofmodesty?
whereforeshouldwefancythemtohaveotherthoughtswithin,andtobeworsethantheyseem?Aqueenofourtimesaidwithspirit,\"thattorefusethesecourtesiesisatestimonyofweaknessinwomenandaself—
accusationoffacility,andthataladycouldnotboastofherchastitywhowasnevertempted。\"
Thelimitsofhonourarenotcutsoshort;theymaygivethemselvesalittlerein,andrelaxalittlewithoutbeingfaulty:thereliesonthefrontiersomespacefree,indifferent,andneuter。Hethathasbeatenandpursuedherintoherfortisastrangefellowifhebenotsatisfiedwithhisfortune:thepriceoftheconquestisconsideredbythedifficulty。Wouldyouknowwhatimpressionyourserviceandmerithavemadeinherheart?Judgeofitbyherbehaviour。Suchanonemaygrantmore,whodoesnotgrantsomuch。Theobligationofabenefitwhollyrelatestothegoodwillofthosewhoconferit:theothercoincidentcircumstancesaredumb,dead,andcasual;itcostsherdearertograntyouthatlittle,thanitwoulddohercompaniontograntall。Ifinanythingraritygiveestimation,itoughtespeciallyinthis:donotconsiderhowlittleitisthatisgiven,buthowfewhaveittogive;
thevalueofmoneyaltersaccordingtothecoinageandstampoftheplace。Whateverthespiteandindiscretionofsomemaymakethemsayintheexcessoftheirdiscontent,virtueandtruthwillintimerecoveralltheadvantage。Ihaveknownsomewhosereputationhasforagreatwhilesufferedunderslander,whohaveafterwardsbeenrestoredtotheworld’suniversalapprobationbytheirmereconstancywithoutcareorartifice;
everyonerepents,andgiveshimselfthelieforwhathehasbelievedandsaid;andfromgirlsalittlesuspectedtheyhavebeenafterwardadvancedtothefirstrankamongsttheladiesofhonour。SomebodytoldPlatothatalltheworldspokeillofhim。\"Letthemtalk,\"saidhe;\"Iwilllivesoastomakethemchangetheirnote。\"BesidesthefearofGod,andthevalueofsorareaglory,whichoughttomakethemlooktothemselves,thecorruptionoftheageweliveincompelsthemtoit;andifIwerethey,thereisnothingIwouldnotratherdothanintrustmyreputationinsodangeroushands。Inmytimethepleasureoftelling(apleasurelittleinferiortothatofdoing)wasnotpermittedbuttothosewhohadsomefaithfulandonlyfriend;butnowtheordinarydiscourseandcommontable—talkisnothingbutboastsoffavoursreceivedandthesecretliberalityofladies。Inearnest,’tistooabject,toomuchmeannessofspirit,inmentosuffersuchungrateful,indiscreet,andgiddy—headedpeoplesotopersecute,forage,andriflethosetenderandcharmingfavours。
Thisourimmoderateandillegitimateexasperationagainstthisvicespringsfromthemostvainandturbulentdiseasethatafflictshumanminds,whichisjealousy:
\"Quisvetatappositolumendeluminesumi?
Dentlicetassidue,niltamenindeperit;\"
[\"Whosaysthatonelightshouldnotbelightedfromanotherlight?
Letthemgiveeversomuch,asmucheverremainstolose。\"——Ovid,DeArteAmandi,iii。93。Themeasureofthelastlineisnotgood;
butthewordsaretakenfromtheepigramintheCatalectaentitledPriapus。]
she,andenvy,hersister,seemtometobethemostfoolishofthewholetroop。Astothelast,Icansaylittleaboutit;’tisapassionthat,thoughsaidtobesomightyandpowerful,hadnevertodowithme。Astotheother,Iknowitbysight,andthat’sall。Beastsfeelit;theshepherdCratis,havingfalleninlovewithashe—goat,thehe—goat,outofjealousy,came,ashelayasleep,tobutttheheadofthefemale,andcrushedit。Wehaveraisedthisfevertoagreaterexcessbytheexamplesofsomebarbarousnations;thebestdisciplinedhavebeentouchedwithit,and’tisreason,butnottransported:
\"EnsemaritalinemoconfossusadulterPurpureoStygiassanguinetinxitaquas。\"
[\"NeverdidadultererslainbyahusbandstainwithpurplebloodtheStygianwaters。\"]
Lucullus,Caesar,Pompey,Antony,Cato,andotherbravemenwerecuckolds,andknewit,withoutmakinganybustleaboutit;therewasinthosedaysbutonecoxcomb,Lepidus,thatdiedforgriefthathiswifehadusedhimso。
\"Ah!tumtemiserummaliquefati,Quemattractispedibus,patenteporta,Percurrentraphaniquemugilesque:\"
[\"Wretchedman!when,takeninthefact,thouwiltbedraggedoutofdoorsbytheheels,andsufferthepunishmentofthyadultery。\"——Catullus,xv。17。]
andthegodofourpoet,whenhesurprisedoneofhiscompanionswithhiswife,satisfiedhimselfbyputtingthemtoshameonly,\"AtquealiquisdedisnontristibusoptatSicfieriturpis:\"
[\"Andoneofthemerrygodswishesthatheshouldhimselfliketobesodisgraced。\"——Ovid,Metam。,iv。187。]
andneverthelesstookangeratthelukewarmembracesshegavehim;
complainingthatuponthataccountshewasgrownjealousofhisaffection:
\"Quidcausaspetisexalto?fiduciacessitQuotibi,diva,mei?\"
[\"Dostthouseekcausesfromabove?Why,goddess,hasyourconfidenceinmeceased?\"——Virgil,AEneid,viii。395。]
nay,sheentreatsarmsforabastardofhers,\"Arenarogogenitrixnato。\"
[\"I,amother,askarmourforason。\"——Idem,ibid。,383。]
whicharefreelygranted;andVulcanspeakshonourablyofAEneas,\"Armaacrifaciendaviro,\"
[\"Armsaretobemadeforavalianthero。\"——AEneid,viii。441。]
with,intruth,amorethanhumanhumanity。AndIamwillingtoleavethisexcessofkindnesstothegods:
\"Necdivishominescomponieraequumest。\"
[\"Norisitfittocomparemenwithgods。\"
——Catullus,lxviii。141。]
Astotheconfusionofchildren,besidesthatthegravestlegislatorsordainandaffectitintheirrepublics,ittouchesnotthewomen,wherethispassionis,Iknownothow,muchbetterseated:
\"SaepeetiamJuno,maximacoelicolam,Conjugisinculpaflagravitquotidiana。\"
[\"OftenwasJuno,greatestoftheheaven—dwellers,enragedbyherhusband’sdailyinfidelities。\"——Idem,ibid。]
Whenjealousyseizesthesepoorsouls,weakandincapableofresistance,’tispitytoseehowmiserablyittormentsandtyrannisesoverthem;itinsinuatesitselfintothemunderthetitleoffriendship,butafterithasoncepossessedthem,thesamecausesthatservedforafoundationofgood—willservethemforafoundationofmortalhatred。’Tis,ofallthediseasesofthemind,thatwhichthemostthingsserveforalimentandthefewestforremedy:thevirtue,health,merit,reputationofthehusbandareincendiariesoftheirfuryandill—will:
\"Nullaesuntinimicitiae,nisiamoris,acerbae。\"
[\"Noenmitiesarebitter,savethatoflove。\"
(Or:)\"Nohateisimplacableexceptthehatredoflove\"
——Propertius,ii。8,3。]
Thisfeverdefacesandcorruptsalltheyhaveofbeautifulandgoodbesides;andthereisnoactionofajealouswoman,letherbehowchasteandhowgoodahousewifesoever,thatdoesnotrelishofangerandwrangling;’tisafuriousagitation,thatreboundsthemtoanextremityquitecontrarytoitscause。ThisheldgoodwithoneOctaviusatRome。
HavinglainwithPontiaPosthumia,heaugmentedlovewithfruition,andsolicitedwithallimportunitytomarryher:unabletopersuadeher,thisexcessiveaffectionprecipitatedhimtotheeffectsofthemostcruelandmortalhatred:hekilledher。Inlikemanner,theordinarysymptomsofthisotheramorousdiseaseareintestinehatreds,privateconspiracies,andcabals:
\"Notumquefurensquidfaeminapossit,\"
[\"Anditisknownwhatanangrywomaniscapableofdoing。\"
——AEneid,V。21。]
andaragewhichsomuchthemorefretsitself,asitiscompelledtoexcuseitselfbyapretenceofgood—will。
Now,thedutyofchastityisofavastextent;isitthewillthatwewouldhavethemrestrain?Thisisaverysuppleandactivething;athingverynimble,tobestayed。How?ifdreamssometimesengagethemsofarthattheycannotdenythem:itisnotinthem,nor,peradventure,inchastityitself,seeingthatisafemale,todefenditselffromlustanddesire。Ifweareonlytotrusttotheirwill,whatacasearewein,then?Dobutimaginewhatcrowdingtherewouldbeamongstmeninpursuanceoftheprivilegetorunfullspeed,withouttongueoreyes,intoeverywoman’sarmswhowouldacceptthem。TheScythianwomenputouttheeyesofalltheirslavesandprisonersofwar,thattheymighthavetheirpleasureofthem,andtheyneverthewiser。O,thefuriousadvantageofopportunity!Shouldanyoneaskme,whatwasthefirstthingtobeconsideredinlovematters,Ishouldanswerthatitwashowtotakeafittingtime;andsothesecond;andsothethird——’tisapointthatcandoeverything。Ihavesometimeswantedfortune,butIhavealsosometimesbeenwantingtomyselfinmattersofattempt。