第31章
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  `Hesaiditwouldbemostawfullyjolly,\'saidUrsula。

  AgainGudrunlookeddown,andwassilent。

  `Don\'tyouthinkitwould?\'saidUrsula,tentatively。ShewasneverquitesurehowmanydefencesGudrunwashavingroundherself。

  Gudrunraisedherfacewithdifficultyandhelditaverted。

  `Ithinkitmightbeawfullyjolly,asyousay,\'shereplied。

  `Butdon\'tyouthinkitwasanunpardonablelibertytotake——totalkofsuchthingstoRupert——whoafterall——youseewhatImean,Ursula——theymighthavebeentwomenarranginganoutingwithsomelittletypethey\'dpickedup。Oh,Ithinkit\'sunforgivable,quite!\'SheusedtheFrenchword`type。\'

  Hereyesflashed,hersoftfacewasflushedandsullen。Ursulalookedon,ratherfrightened,frightenedmostofallbecauseshethoughtGudrunseemedrathercommon,reallylikealittletype。Butshehadnotthecouragequitetothinkthis——notrightout。

  `Ohno,\'shecried,stammering。`Ohno——notatalllikethat——ohno!No,Ithinkit\'sratherbeautiful,thefriendshipbetweenRupertandGerald。Theyjustaresimple——theysayanythingtoeachother,likebrothers。\'

  Gudrunflusheddeeper。ShecouldnotbearitthatGeraldgaveheraway——eventoBirkin。

  `Butdoyouthinkevenbrothershaveanyrighttoexchangeconfidencesofthatsort?\'sheasked,withdeepanger。

  `Ohyes,\'saidUrsula。`There\'sneveranythingsaidthatisn\'tperfectlystraightforward。No,thethingthat\'samazedmemostinGerald——howperfectlysimpleanddirecthecanbe!Andyouknow,ittakesratherabigman。Mostofthemmustbeindirect,theyaresuchcowards。\'

  ButGudrunwasstillsilentwithanger。Shewantedtheabsolutesecrecykept,withregardtohermovements。

  `Won\'tyougo?\'saidUrsula。`Do,wemightallbesohappy!ThereissomethingIloveaboutGerald——he\'smuchmorelovablethanIthoughthim。He\'sfree,Gudrun,hereallyis。\'

  Gudrun\'smouthwasstillclosed,sullenandugly。Sheopeneditatlength。

  `Doyouknowwhereheproposestogo?\'sheasked。

  `Yes——totheTyrol,whereheusedtogowhenhewasinGermany——

  alovelyplacewherestudentsgo,smallandroughandlovely,forwintersport!\'

  ThroughGudrun\'smindwenttheangrythought——`theyknoweverything。\'

  `Yes,\'shesaidaloud,`aboutfortykilometresfromInnsbruck,isn\'tit?\'

  `Idon\'tknowexactlywhere——butitwouldbelovely,don\'tyouthink,highintheperfectsnow——?\'

  `Verylovely!\'saidGudrun,sarcastically。

  Ursulawasputout。

  `Ofcourse,\'shesaid,`IthinkGeraldspoketoRupertsothatitshouldn\'tseemlikeanoutingwithatype——\'

  `Iknow,ofcourse,\'saidGudrun,`thathequitecommonlydoestakeupwiththatsort。\'

  `Doeshe!\'saidUrsula。`Whyhowdoyouknow?\'

  `IknowofamodelinChelsea,\'saidGudruncoldly。NowUrsulawassilent。

  `Well,\'shesaidatlast,withadoubtfullaugh,`Ihopehehasagoodtimewithher。\'AtwhichGudrunlookedmoreglum。

  WomenInLove:Chapter28CHAPTERXXVIIIGudruninthePompadourCHRISTMASDREWNEAR,allfourpreparedforflight。

  BirkinandUrsulawerebusypackingtheirfewpersonalthings,makingthemreadytobesentoff,towhatevercountryandwhateverplacetheymightchooseatlast。Gudrunwasverymuchexcited。Shelovedtobeonthewing。

  SheandGerald,beingreadyfirst,setoffviaLondonandParistoInnsbruck,wheretheywouldmeetUrsulaandBirkin。InLondontheystayedonenight。

  Theywenttothemusic—hall,andafterwardstothePompadourCafe。

  GudrunhatedtheCafe,yetshealwayswentbacktoit,asdidmostoftheartistsofheracquaintance。Sheloatheditsatmosphereofpettyviceandpettyjealousyandpettyart。Yetshealwayscalledinagain,whenshewasintown。Itwasasifshehadtoreturntothissmall,slow,centralwhirlpoolofdisintegrationanddissolution:justgiveitalook。

  ShesatwithGeralddrinkingsomesweetishliqueur,andstaringwithblack,sullenlooksatthevariousgroupsofpeopleatthetables。Shewouldgreetnobody,butyoungmennoddedtoherfrequently,withakindofsneeringfamiliarity。Shecutthemall。Anditgaveherpleasuretositthere,cheeksflushed,eyesblackandsullen,seeingthemallobjectively,asputawayfromher,likecreaturesinsomemenagerieofapishdegradedsouls。God,whatafoulcrewtheywere!Herbloodbeatblackandthickinherveinswithrageandloathing。Yetshemustsitandwatch,watch。

  Oneortwopeoplecametospeaktoher。FromeverysideoftheCafe,eyesturnedhalffurtively,halfjeeringlyather,menlookingovertheirshoulders,womenundertheirhats。

  Theoldcrowdwasthere,Carlyoninhiscornerwithhispupilsandhisgirl,HallidayandLibidnikovandthePussum——theywereallthere。GudrunwatchedGerald。ShewatchedhiseyeslingeramomentonHalliday,onHalliday\'sparty。Theselastwereonthelook—out——theynoddedtohim,henoddedagain。Theygiggledandwhisperedamongthemselves。Geraldwatchedthemwiththesteadytwinkleinhiseyes。TheywereurgingthePussumtosomething。

  Sheatlastrose。Shewaswearingacuriousdressofdarksilksplashedandspatteredwithdifferentcolours,acuriousmotleyeffect。Shewasthinner,hereyeswereperhapshotter,moredisintegrated。Otherwiseshewasjustthesame。Geraldwatchedherwiththesamesteadytwinkleinhiseyesasshecameacross。Sheheldoutherthinbrownhandtohim。

  `Howareyou?\'shesaid。

  Heshookhandswithher,butremainedseated,andletherstandnearhim,againstthetable。ShenoddedblacklytoGudrun,whomshedidnotknowtospeakto,butwellenoughbysightandreputation。

  `Iamverywell,\'saidGerald。`Andyou?\'

  `OhI\'mallwight。WhataboutWupert?\'

  `Rupert?He\'sverywell,too。\'

  `Yes,Idon\'tmeanthat。Whatabouthimbeingmarried?\'

  `Oh——yes,heismarried。\'

  ThePussum\'seyeshadahotflash。

  `Oh,he\'sweallybwoughtitoffthen,hashe?Whenwashemarried?\'

  `Aweekortwoago。\'

  `Weally!He\'sneverwritten。\'

  `No。\'

  `No。Don\'tyouthinkit\'stoobad?\'

  Thislastwasinatoneofchallenge。ThePussumletitbeknownbyhertone,thatshewasawareofGudrun\'slistening。

  `Isupposehedidn\'tfeellikeit,\'repliedGerald。

  `Butwhydidn\'the?\'pursuedthePussum。

  Thiswasreceivedinsilence。Therewasanugly,mockingpersistenceinthesmall,beautifulfigureoftheshort—hairedgirl,asshestoodnearGerald。

  `Areyoustayingintownlong?\'sheasked。

  `Tonightonly。\'

  `Oh,onlytonight。AreyoucomingovertospeaktoJulius?\'

  `Nottonight。\'

  `Ohverywell。I\'lltellhimthen。\'Thencamehertouchofdiablerie。

  `You\'relookingawf\'llyfit。\'

  `Yes——Ifeelit。\'Geraldwasquitecalmandeasy,asparkofsatiricamusementinhiseye。

  `Areyouhavingagoodtime?\'

  ThiswasadirectblowforGudrun,spokeninalevel,tonelessvoiceofcallousease。

  `Yes,\'hereplied,quitecolourlessly。

  `I\'mawf\'llysorryyouaren\'tcomingroundtotheflat。Youaren\'tveryfaithfultoyourfwiends。\'

  `Notvery,\'hesaid。

  Shenoddedthemboth`Good—night\',andwentbackslowlytoherownset。

  Gudrunwatchedhercuriouswalk,stiffandjerkingattheloins。Theyheardherlevel,tonelessvoicedistinctly。

  `Hewon\'tcomeover;——heisotherwiseengaged,\'itsaid。Therewasmorelaughterandloweredvoicesandmockeryatthetable。

  `Issheafriendofyours?\'saidGudrun,lookingcalmlyatGerald。

  `I\'vestayedatHalliday\'sflatwithBirkin,\'hesaid,meetingherslow,calmeyes。AndsheknewthatthePussumwasoneofhismistresses——andheknewsheknew。

  Shelookedround,andcalledforthewaiter。Shewantedanicedcocktail,ofallthings。ThisamusedGerald——hewonderedwhatwasup。

  TheHallidaypartywastipsy,andmalicious。TheyweretalkingoutloudlyaboutBirkin,ridiculinghimoneverypoint,particularlyonhismarriage。

  `Oh,don\'tmakemethinkofBirkin,\'Hallidaywassquealing。

  `Hemakesmeperfectlysick。HeisasbadasJesus。\"Lord,whatmustIdotobesaved!\"\'

  Hegiggledtohimselftipsily。

  `Doyouremember,\'camethequickvoiceoftheRussian,`thelettersheusedtosend。\"Desireisholy——\"\'

  `Ohyes!\'criedHalliday。`Oh,howperfectlysplendid。Why,I\'vegotoneinmypocket。I\'msureIhave。\'

  Hetookoutvariouspapersfromhispocketbook。

  `I\'msureI\'ve——hic!Ohdear!——gotone。\'

  GeraldandGudrunwerewatchingabsorbedly。

  `Ohyes,howperfectly——hic!——splendid!Don\'tmakemelaugh,Pussum,itgivesmethehiccup。Hic!——\'Theyallgiggled。

  `Whatdidhesayinthatone?\'thePussumasked,leaningforward,herdark,softhairfallingandswingingagainstherface。Therewassomethingcuriouslyindecent,obscene,abouthersmall,longish,darkskull,particularlywhentheearsshowed。

  `Wait——ohdowait!No—o,Iwon\'tgiveittoyou,I\'llreaditaloud。I\'llreadyouthechoicebits,——hic!Ohdear!DoyouthinkifIdrinkwateritwouldtakeoffthishiccup?Hic!Oh,Ifeelperfectlyhelpless。\'

  `Isn\'tthattheletteraboutunitingthedarkandthelight——andtheFluxofCorruption?\'askedMaxim,inhisprecise,quickvoice。

  `Ibelieveso,\'saidthePussum。

  `Ohisit?I\'dforgotten——hic!——itwasthatone,\'Hallidaysaid,openingtheletter。`Hic!Ohyes。Howperfectlysplendid!

  Thisisoneofthebest。\"Thereisaphaseineveryrace——\"\'hereadinthesing—song,slow,distinctvoiceofaclergymanreadingtheScriptures,`\"Whenthedesirefordestructionovercomeseveryotherdesire。Intheindividual,thisdesireisultimatelyadesirefordestructionintheself\"

  ——hic!——\'hepausedandlookedup。

  `Ihopehe\'sgoingaheadwiththedestructionofhimself,\'saidthequickvoiceoftheRussian。Hallidaygiggled,andlolledhisheadback,vaguely。

  `There\'snotmuchtodestroyinhim,\'saidthePussum。`He\'ssothinalready,there\'sonlyafag—endtostarton。\'

  `Oh,isn\'titbeautiful!Ilovereadingit!Ibelieveithascuredmyhiccup!\'squealedHalliday。`Doletmegoon。\"Itisadesireforthereductionprocessinoneself,areducingbacktotheorigin,areturnalongtheFluxofCorruption,totheoriginalrudimentaryconditionsofbeing——!\"Oh,butIdothinkitiswonderful。ItalmostsupersedestheBible——\'

  `Yes——FluxofCorruption,\'saidtheRussian,`Irememberthatphrase。\'

  `Oh,hewasalwaystalkingaboutCorruption,\'saidthePussum。`Hemustbecorrupthimself,tohaveitsomuchonhismind。\'

  `Exactly!\'saidtheRussian。

  `Doletmegoon!Oh,thisisaperfectlywonderfulpiece!Butdolistentothis。\"Andinthegreatretrogression,thereducingbackofthecreatedbodyoflife,wegetknowledge,andbeyondknowledge,thephosphorescentecstasyofacutesensation。\"Oh,Idothinkthesephrasesaretooabsurdlywonderful。Ohbutdon\'tyouthinktheyare——they\'renearlyasgoodasJesus。\"Andif,Julius,youwantthisecstasyofreductionwiththePussum,youmustgoontillitisfulfilled。Butsurelythereisinyoualso,somewhere,thelivingdesireforpositivecreation,relationshipsinultimatefaith,whenallthisprocessofactivecorruption,withallitsflowersofmud,istranscended,andmoreorlessfinished——\"Idowonderwhattheflowersofmudare。Pussum,youareaflowerofmud。\'

  `Thankyou——andwhatareyou?\'

  `Oh,I\'manother,surely,accordingtothisletter!We\'reallflowersofmud——Fleurs——hic!dumal!It\'sperfectlywonderful,BirkinharrowingHell——harrowingthePompadour——Hic!\'

  `Goon——goon,\'saidMaxim。`Whatcomesnext?It\'sreallyveryinteresting。\'

  `Ithinkit\'sawfulcheektowritelikethat,\'saidthePussum。

  `Yes——yes,sodoI,\'saidtheRussian。`Heisamegalomaniac,ofcourse,itisaformofreligiousmania。HethinksheistheSaviourofman——

  goonreading。\'

  `Surely,\'Hallidayintoned,`\"surelygoodnessandmercyhathfollowedmeallthedaysofmylife——\"\'hebrokeoffandgiggled。Thenhebeganagain,intoninglikeaclergyman。`\"Surelytherewillcomeanendinustothisdesire——fortheconstantgoingapart,——thispassionforputtingasunder——everything——ourselves,reducingourselvespartfrompart——

  reactinginintimacyonlyfordestruction,——usingsexasagreatreducingagent,reducingthetwogreatelementsofmaleandfemalefromtheirhighlycomplexunity——reducingtheoldideas,goingbacktothesavagesforoursensations,——alwaysseekingtoloseourselvesinsomeultimateblacksensation,mindlessandinfinite——burningonlywithdestructivefires,ragingonwiththehopeofbeingburntoututterly——\"\'

  `Iwanttogo,\'saidGudruntoGerald,asshesignalledthewaiter。

  Hereyeswereflashing,hercheekswereflushed。ThestrangeeffectofBirkin\'sletterreadaloudinaperfectclericalsing—song,clearandresonant,phrasebyphrase,madethebloodmountintoherheadasifsheweremad。

  Sherose,whilstGeraldwaspayingthebill,andwalkedovertoHalliday\'stable。Theyallglancedupather。

  `Excuseme,\'shesaid。`Isthatagenuineletteryouarereading?\'

  `Ohyes,\'saidHalliday。`Quitegenuine。\'

  `MayIsee?\'

  Smilingfoolishlyhehandedittoher,asifhypnotised。

  `Thankyou,\'shesaid。

  AndsheturnedandwalkedoutoftheCafewiththeletter,alldownthebrilliantroom,betweenthetables,inhermeasuredfashion。Itwassomemomentsbeforeanybodyrealisedwhatwashappening。

  FromHalliday\'stablecamehalfarticulatecries,thensomebodybooed,thenallthefarendoftheplacebeganbooingafterGudrun\'sretreatingform。Shewasfashionablydressedinblackish—greenandsilver,herhatwasbrilliantgreen,likethesheenonaninsect,butthebrimwassoftdarkgreen,afallingedgewithfinesilver,hercoatwasdarkgreen,lustrous,withahighcollarofgreyfur,andgreatfurcuffs,theedgeofherdressshowedsilverandblackvelvet,herstockingsandshoesweresilvergrey。

  Shemovedwithslow,fashionableindifferencetothedoor。Theporteropenedobsequiouslyforher,and,athernod,hurriedtotheedgeofthepavementandwhistledforataxi。Thetwolightsofavehiclealmostimmediatelycurvedroundtowardsher,liketwoeyes。

  Geraldhadfollowedinwonder,amidallthebooing,nothavingcaughthermisdeed。HeheardthePussum\'svoicesaying:

  `Goandgetitbackfromher。Ineverheardofsuchathing!Goandgetitbackfromher。TellGeraldCrich——therehegoes——goandmakehimgiveitup。\'

  Gudrunstoodatthedoorofthetaxi,whichthemanheldopenforher。

  `Tothehotel?\'sheasked,asGeraldcameout,hurriedly。

  `Whereyoulike,\'heanswered。

  `Right!\'shesaid。Thentothedriver,`Wagstaff\'s——BartonStreet。\'

  Thedriverbowedhishead,andputdowntheflag。

  Gudrunenteredthetaxi,withthedeliberatecoldmovementofawomanwhoiswell—dressedandcontemptuousinhersoul。Yetshewasfrozenwithoverwroughtfeelings。Geraldfollowedher。

  `You\'veforgottentheman,\'shesaidcooly,withaslightnodofherhat。Geraldgavetheporterashilling。Themansaluted。Theywereinmotion。

  `Whatwasalltherowabout?\'askedGerald,inwonderingexcitement。

  `IwalkedawaywithBirkin\'sletter,\'shesaid,andhesawthecrushedpaperinherhand。

  Hiseyesglitteredwithsatisfaction。

  `Ah!\'hesaid。`Splendid!Asetofjackasses!\'

  `Icouldhavekilledthem!\'shecriedinpassion。`Dogs!——theyaredogs!WhyisRupertsuchafoolastowritesuchletterstothem?Whydoeshegivehimselfawaytosuchcanaille?It\'sathingthatcannotbeborne。\'

  Geraldwonderedoverherstrangepassion。

  AndshecouldnotrestanylongerinLondon。TheymustgobythemorningtrainfromCharingCross。Astheydrewoverthebridge,inthetrain,havingglimpsesoftheriverbetweenthegreatirongirders,shecried:

  `IfeelIcouldneverseethisfoultownagain——Icouldn\'tbeartocomebacktoit。\'

  WomenInLove:Chapter29CHAPTERXXIXContinentalURSULAWENToninanunrealsuspense,thelastweeksbeforegoingaway。Shewasnotherself,——shewasnotanything。

  Shewassomethingthatisgoingtobe——soon——soon——verysoon。Butasyet,shewasonlyimminent。

  Shewenttoseeherparents。Itwasaratherstiff,sadmeeting,morelikeaverificationofseparatenessthanareunion。Buttheywereallvagueandindefinitewithoneanother,stiffenedinthefatethatmovedthemapart。

  ShedidnotreallycometountilshewasontheshipcrossingfromDovertoOstend。DimlyshehadcomedowntoLondonwithBirkin,Londonhadbeenavagueness,sohadthetrain—journeytoDover。Itwasalllikeasleep。

  Andnow,atlast,asshestoodinthesternoftheship,inapitch—dark,ratherblowynight,feelingthemotionofthesea,andwatchingthesmall,ratherdesolatelittlelightsthattwinkledontheshoresofEngland,asontheshoresofnowhere,watchedthemsinkingsmallerandsmallerontheprofoundandlivingdarkness,shefelthersoulstirringtoawakefromitsanaestheticsleep。

  `Letusgoforward,shallwe?\'saidBirkin。Hewantedtobeatthetipoftheirprojection。Sotheyleftofflookingatthefaintsparksthatglimmeredoutofnowhere,inthefardistance,calledEngland,andturnedtheirfacestotheunfathomednightinfront。

  Theywentrighttothebowsofthesoftlyplungingvessel。Inthecompleteobscurity,Birkinfoundacomparativelyshelterednook,whereagreatropewascoiledup。Itwasquiteneartheverypointoftheship,neartheblack,unpiercedspaceahead。Theretheysatdown,foldedtogether,foldedroundwiththesamerug,creepinginnearerandevernearertooneanother,tillitseemedtheyhadcreptrightintoeachother,andbecomeonesubstance。

  Itwasverycold,andthedarknesswaspalpable。

  Oneoftheship\'screwcamealongthedeck,darkasthedarkness,notreallyvisible。Theythenmadeoutthefaintestpallorofhisface。Hefelttheirpresence,andstopped,unsure——thenbentforward。Whenhisfacewasnearthem,hesawthefaintpalloroftheirfaces。Thenhewithdrewlikeaphantom。Andtheywatchedhimwithoutmakinganysound。

  Theyseemedtofallawayintotheprofounddarkness。Therewasnosky,noearth,onlyoneunbrokendarkness,intowhich,withasoft,sleepingmotion,theyseemedtofalllikeoneclosedseedoflifefallingthroughdark,fathomlessspace。

  Theyhadforgottenwheretheywere,forgottenallthatwasandallthathadbeen,consciousonlyintheirheart,andthereconsciousonlyofthispuretrajectorythroughthesurpassingdarkness。Theship\'sprowcleavedon,withafaintnoiseofcleavage,intothecompletenight,withoutknowing,withoutseeing,onlysurgingon。

  InUrsulathesenseoftheunrealisedworldaheadtriumphedovereverything。

  Inthemidstofthisprofounddarkness,thereseemedtoglowonherhearttheeffulgenceofaparadiseunknownandunrealised。Herheartwasfullofthemostwonderfullight,goldenlikehoneyofdarkness,sweetlikethewarmthofday,alightwhichwasnotshedontheworld,onlyontheunknownparadisetowardswhichshewasgoing,asweetnessofhabitation,adelightoflivingquiteunknown,buthersinfallibly。Inhertransportsheliftedherfacesuddenlytohim,andhetoucheditwithhislips。Socold,sofresh,sosea—clearherfacewas,itwaslikekissingaflowerthatgrowsnearthesurf。

  Buthedidnotknowtheecstasyofblissinfore—knowledgethatsheknew。Tohim,thewonderofthistransitwasoverwhelming。Hewasfallingthroughagulfofinfinitedarkness,likeameteoriteplungingacrossthechasmbetweentheworlds。Theworldwastornintwo,andhewasplunginglikeanunlitstarthroughtheineffablerift。Whatwasbeyondwasnotyetforhim。Hewasovercomebythetrajectory。

  InatrancehelayenfoldingUrsularoundabout。Hisfacewasagainstherfine,fragilehair,hebreatheditsfragrancewiththeseaandtheprofoundnight。Andhissoulwasatpeace;yielded,ashefellintotheunknown。Thiswasthefirsttimethatanutterandabsolutepeacehadenteredhisheart,now,inthisfinaltransitoutoflife。

  Whentherecamesomestironthedeck,theyroused。Theystoodup。Howstiffandcrampedtheywere,inthenight—time!Andyettheparadisalglowonherheart,andtheunutterablepeaceofdarknessinhis,thiswastheall—in—all。

  Theystoodupandlookedahead。Lowlightswereseendownthedarkness。

  Thiswastheworldagain。Itwasnottheblissofherheart,northepeaceofhis。Itwasthesuperficialunrealworldoffact。Yetnotquitetheoldworld。Forthepeaceandtheblissintheirheartswasenduring。

  Strange,anddesolateaboveallthings,likedisembarkingfromtheStyxintothedesolatedunderworld,wasthislandingatnight。Therewastheraw,half—lighted,covered—invastnessofthedarkplace,boardedandhollowunderfoot,withonlydesolationeverywhere。Ursulahadcaughtsightofthebig,pallid,mysticletters`OSTEND,\'standinginthedarkness。Everybodywashurryingwithablind,insect—likeintentnessthroughthedarkgreyair,porterswerecallinginun—EnglishEnglish,thentrottingwithheavybags,theircolourlessblouseslookingghostlyastheydisappeared;Ursulastoodatalong,low,zinc—coveredbarrier,alongwithhundredsofotherspectralpeople,andallthewaydownthevast,rawdarknesswasthislowstretchofopenbagsandspectralpeople,whilst,ontheothersideofthebarrier,pallidofficialsinpeakedcapsandmoustacheswereturningtheunderclothinginthebags,thenscrawlingachalk—mark。

  Itwasdone。Birkinsnappedthehandbags,offtheywent,theportercomingbehind。Theywerethroughagreatdoorway,andintheopennightagain——ah,arailwayplatform!Voiceswerestillcallingininhumanagitationthroughthedark—greyair,spectreswererunningalongthedarknessbetweenthetrain。

  `Koln——Berlin——\'Ursulamadeoutontheboardshungonthehightrainononeside。

  `Hereweare,\'saidBirkin。Andonhersideshesaw:`Elsass——Lothringen——Luxembourg,Metz——Basle。\'

  `Thatwasit,Basle!\'

  Theportercameup。

  `ABale——deuxiemeclasse?——Voila!\'Andheclamberedintothehightrain。Theyfollowed。Thecompartmentswerealreadysomeofthemtaken。

  Butmanyweredimandempty。Theluggagewasstowed,theporterwastipped。

  `Nousavonsencore——?\'saidBirkin,lookingathiswatchandattheporter。

  `Encoreunedemi—heure。\'Withwhich,inhisblueblouse,hedisappeared。

  Hewasuglyandinsolent。

  `Come,\'saidBirkin。`Itiscold。Letuseat。\'

  Therewasacoffee—wagonontheplatform。Theydrankhot,waterycoffee,andatethelongrolls,split,withhambetween,whichweresuchawidebitethatitalmostdislocatedUrsula\'sjaw;andtheywalkedbesidethehightrains。Itwasallsostrange,soextremelydesolate,liketheunderworld,grey,grey,dirtgrey,desolate,forlorn,nowhere——grey,drearynowhere。

  Atlasttheyweremovingthroughthenight。InthedarknessUrsulamadeouttheflatfields,thewetflatdrearydarknessoftheContinent。Theypulledupsurprisinglysoon——Bruges!Thenonthroughtheleveldarkness,withglimpsesofsleepingfarmsandthinpoplartreesanddesertedhigh—roads。

  Shesatdismayed,handinhandwithBirkin。Hepale,immobilelikearevenanthimself,lookedsometimesoutofthewindow,sometimesclosedhiseyes。

  Thenhiseyesopenedagain,darkasthedarknessoutside。

  Aflashofafewlightsonthedarkness——Ghentstation!Afewmorespectresmovingoutsideontheplatform——thenthebell——thenmotionagainthroughtheleveldarkness。Ursulasawamanwithalanterncomeoutofafarmbytherailway,andcrosstothedarkfarm—buildings。ShethoughtoftheMarsh,theold,intimatefarm—lifeatCossethay。MyGod,howfarwassheprojectedfromherchildhood,howfarwasshestilltogo!Inonelife—timeonetravelledthroughaeons。ThegreatchasmofmemoryfromherchildhoodintheintimatecountrysurroundingsofCossethayandtheMarshFarm——sherememberedtheservantTilly,whousedtogiveherbreadandbuttersprinkledwithbrownsugar,intheoldliving—roomwherethegrandfatherclockhadtwopinkrosesinabasketpaintedabovethefiguresontheface——andnowwhenshewastravellingintotheunknownwithBirkin,anutterstranger——wassogreat,thatitseemedshehadnoidentity,thatthechildshehadbeen,playinginCossethaychurchyard,wasalittlecreatureofhistory,notreallyherself。

  TheywereatBrussels——halfanhourforbreakfast。Theygotdown。

  Onthegreatstationclockitsaidsixo\'clock。Theyhadcoffeeandrollsandhoneyinthevastdesertrefreshmentroom,sodreary,alwayssodreary,dirty,sospacious,suchdesolationofspace。Butshewashedherfaceandhandsinhotwater,andcombedherhair——thatwasablessing。

  Soontheywereinthetrainagainandmovingon。Thegreynessofdawnbegan。Therewereseveralpeopleinthecompartment,largefloridBelgianbusiness—menwithlongbrownbeards,talkingincessantlyinanuglyFrenchshewastootiredtofollow。

  Itseemedthetrainranbydegreesoutofthedarknessintoafaintlight,thenbeatafterbeatintotheday。Ah,howwearyitwas!Faintly,thetreesshowed,likeshadows。Thenahouse,white,hadacuriousdistinctness。

  Howwasit?Thenshesawavillage——therewerealwayshousespassing。

  Thiswasanoldworldshewasstilljourneyingthrough,winter—heavyanddreary。Therewasplough—landandpasture,andcopsesofbaretrees,copsesofbushes,andhomesteadsnakedandwork—bare。Nonewearthhadcometopass。

  ShelookedatBirkin\'sface。Itwaswhiteandstillandeternal,tooeternal。Shelinkedherfingersimploringlyinhis,underthecoverofherrug。Hisfingersresponded,hiseyeslookedbackather。Howdark,likeanight,hiseyeswere,likeanotherworldbeyond!Oh,ifheweretheworldaswell,ifonlytheworldwerehe!Ifonlyhecouldcallaworldintobeing,thatshouldbetheirownworld!

  TheBelgiansleft,thetrainranon,throughLuxembourg,throughAlsace—Lorraine,throughMetz。Butshewasblind,shecouldseenomore。Hersouldidnotlookout。

  TheycameatlasttoBasle,tothehotel。Itwasalladriftingtrance,fromwhichshenevercameto。Theywentoutinthemorning,beforethetraindeparted。Shesawthestreet,theriver,shestoodonthebridge。

  Butitallmeantnothing。Sherememberedsomeshops——onefullofpictures,onewithorangevelvetandermine。Butwhatdidthesesignify?——nothing。

  Shewasnotateasetilltheywereinthetrainagain。Thenshewasrelieved。Solongastheyweremovingonwards,shewassatisfied。TheycametoZurich,then,beforeverylong,ranunderthemountains,thatweredeepinsnow。Atlastshewasdrawingnear。Thiswastheotherworldnow。

  Innsbruckwaswonderful,deepinsnow,andevening。Theydroveinanopensledgeoverthesnow:thetrainhadbeensohotandstifling。Andthehotel,withthegoldenlightglowingundertheporch,seemedlikeahome。

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