第23章
加入书架 A- A+
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  Geraldwincedinspirit,seeinghersobeautifulandunknown。Shewaswearingasoftbluedress,andherstockingswereofdarkred。

  Winifredadvancedwithodd,statelyformality。

  `Wearesogladyou\'vecomeback,\'shesaid。`Theseareyourflowers。\'

  Shepresentedthebouquet。

  `Mine!\'criedGudrun。Shewassuspendedforamoment,thenavividflushwentoverher,shewasasifblindedforamomentwithaflameofpleasure。

  Thenhereyes,strangeandflaming,liftedandlookedatthefather,andatGerald。AndagainGeraldshrankinspirit,asifitwouldbemorethanhecouldbear,asherhot,exposedeyesrestedonhim。Therewassomethingsorevealed,shewasrevealedbeyondbearing,tohiseyes。Heturnedhisfaceaside。Andhefelthewouldnotbeabletoaverther。Andhewrithedundertheimprisonment。

  Gudrunputherfaceintotheflowers。

  `Buthowbeautifultheyare!\'shesaid,inamuffledvoice。Then,withastrange,suddenlyrevealedpassion,shestoopedandkissedWinifred。

  MrCrichwentforwardwithhishandheldouttoher。

  `Iwasafraidyouweregoingtorunawayfromus,\'hesaid,playfully。

  Gudrunlookedupathimwithaluminous,roguish,unknownface。

  `Really!\'shereplied。`No,Ididn\'twanttostayinLondon。\'HervoiceseemedtoimplythatshewasgladtogetbacktoShortlands,hertonewaswarmandsubtlycaressing。

  `Thatisagoodthing,\'smiledthefather。`Youseeyouareverywelcomehereamongus。\'

  Gudrunonlylookedintohisfacewithdark—blue,warm,shyeyes。Shewasunconsciouslycarriedawaybyherownpower。

  `Andyoulookasifyoucamehomeineverypossibletriumph,\'MrCrichcontinued,holdingherhand。

  `No,\'shesaid,glowingstrangely。`Ihaven\'thadanytriumphtillI

  camehere。\'

  `Ah,come,come!We\'renotgoingtohearanyofthosetales。Haven\'twereadnoticesinthenewspaper,Gerald?\'

  `Youcameoffprettywell,\'saidGeraldtoher,shakinghands。`Didyousellanything?\'

  `No,\'shesaid,`notmuch。\'

  `Justaswell,\'hesaid。

  Shewonderedwhathemeant。Butshewasallaglowwithherreception,carriedawaybythislittleflatteringceremonialonherbehalf。

  `Winifred,\'saidthefather,`haveyouapairofshoesforMissBrangwen?

  Youhadbetterchangeatonce——\'

  Gudrunwentoutwithherbouquetinherhand。

  `Quitearemarkableyoungwoman,\'saidthefathertoGerald,whenshehadgone。

  `Yes,\'repliedGeraldbriefly,asifhedidnotliketheobservation。

  MrCrichlikedGudruntositwithhimforhalfanhour。Usuallyhewasashyandwretched,withallthelifegnawedoutofhim。Butassoonasherallied,helikedtomakebelievethathewasjustasbefore,quitewellandinthemidstoflife——notoftheouterworld,butinthemidstofastrongessentiallife。Andtothisbelief,Gudruncontributedperfectly。

  Withher,hecouldgetbystimulationthoseprecioushalf—hoursofstrengthandexaltationandpurefreedom,whenheseemedtolivemorethanhehadeverlived。

  Shecametohimashelayproppedupinthelibrary。Hisfacewaslikeyellowwax,hiseyesdarkened,asitweresightless。Hisblackbeard,nowstreakedwithgrey,seemedtospringoutofthewaxyfleshofacorpse。

  Yettheatmosphereabouthimwasenergeticandplayful。Gudrunsubscribedtothis,perfectly。Toherfancy,hewasjustanordinaryman。Onlyhisratherterribleappearancewasphotographeduponhersoul,awaybeneathherconsciousness。Sheknewthat,inspiteofhisplayfulness,hiseyescouldnotchangefromtheirdarkenedvacancy,theyweretheeyesofamanwhoisdead。

  `Ah,thisisMissBrangwen,\'hesaid,suddenlyrousingassheentered,announcedbytheman—servant。`Thomas,putMissBrangwenachairhere——

  that\'sright。\'Helookedathersoft,freshfacewithpleasure。Itgavehimtheillusionoflife。`Now,youwillhaveaglassofsherryandalittlepieceofcake。Thomas——\'

  `Nothankyou,\'saidGudrun。Andassoonasshehadsaidit,herheartsankhorribly。Thesickmanseemedtofallintoagapofdeath,athercontradiction。Sheoughttoplayuptohim,nottocontravenehim。Inaninstantshewassmilingherratherroguishsmile。

  `Idon\'tlikesherryverymuch,\'shesaid。`ButIlikealmostanythingelse。\'

  Thesickmancaughtatthisstrawinstantly。

  `Notsherry!No!Somethingelse!Whatthen?Whatisthere,Thomas?\'

  `Portwine——curacao——\'

  `Iwouldlovesomecuracao——\'saidGudrun,lookingatthesickmanconfidingly。

  `Youwould。WellthenThomas,curacao——andalittlecake,orabiscuit?\'

  `Abiscuit,\'saidGudrun。Shedidnotwantanything,butshewaswise。

  `Yes。\'

  Hewaitedtillshewassettledwithherlittleglassandherbiscuit。

  Thenhewassatisfied。

  `Youhaveheardtheplan,\'hesaidwithsomeexcitement,`forastudioforWinifred,overthestables?\'

  `No!\'exclaimedGudrun,inmockwonder。

  `Oh!——IthoughtWinniewroteittoyou,inherletter!\'

  `Oh——yes——ofcourse。ButIthoughtperhapsitwasonlyherownlittleidea——\'Gudrunsmiledsubtly,indulgently。Thesickmansmiledalso,elated。

  `Ohno。Itisarealproject。Thereisagoodroomundertheroofofthestables——withslopingrafters。Wehadthoughtofconvertingitintoastudio。\'

  `Howverynicethatwouldbe!\'criedGudrun,withexcitedwarmth。

  Thethoughtoftheraftersstirredher。

  `Youthinkitwould?Well,itcanbedone。\'

  `ButhowperfectlysplendidforWinifred!Ofcourse,itisjustwhatisneeded,ifsheistoworkatallseriously。Onemusthaveone\'sworkshop,otherwiseoneneverceasestobeanamateur。\'

  `Isthatso?Yes。Ofcourse,IshouldlikeyoutoshareitwithWinifred。\'

  `Thankyousomuch。\'

  Gudrunknewallthesethingsalready,butshemustlookshyandverygrateful,asifovercome。

  `Ofcourse,whatIshouldlikebest,wouldbeifyoucouldgiveupyourworkattheGrammarSchool,andjustavailyourselfofthestudio,andworkthere——well,asmuchoraslittleasyouliked——\'

  HelookedatGudrunwithdark,vacanteyes。Shelookedbackathimasiffullofgratitude。Thesephrasesofadyingmanweresocompleteandnatural,cominglikeechoesthroughhisdeadmouth。

  `Andastoyourearnings——youdon\'tmindtakingfrommewhatyouhavetakenfromtheEducationCommittee,doyou?Idon\'twantyoutobealoser。\'

  `Oh,\'saidGudrun,`ifIcanhavethestudioandworkthere,Icanearnmoneyenough,reallyIcan。\'

  `Well,\'hesaid,pleasedtobethebenefactor,`wecanseeaboutallthat。Youwouldn\'tmindspendingyourdayshere?\'

  `Iftherewereastudiotoworkin,\'saidGudrun,`Icouldaskfornothingbetter。\'

  `Isthatso?\'

  Hewasreallyverypleased。Butalreadyhewasgettingtired。Shecouldseethegrey,awfulsemi—consciousnessofmerepainanddissolutioncomingoverhimagain,thetorturecomingintothevacancyofhisdarkenedeyes。

  Itwasnotoveryet,thisprocessofdeath。Sherosesoftlysaying:

  `Perhapsyouwillsleep。ImustlookforWinifred。\'

  Shewentout,tellingthenursethatshehadlefthim。Daybydaythetissueofthesickmanwasfurtherandfurtherreduced,nearerandnearertheprocesscame,towardsthelastknotwhichheldthehumanbeinginitsunity。Butthisknotwashardandunrelaxed,thewillofthedyingmannevergaveway。Hemightbedeadinnine—tenths,yettheremainingtenthremainedunchanged,tillittoowastornapart。Withhiswillheheldtheunitofhimselffirm,butthecircleofhispowerwaseverandeverreduced,itwouldbereducedtoapointatlast,thensweptaway。

  Toadheretolife,hemustadheretohumanrelationships,andhecaughtateverystraw。Winifred,thebutler,thenurse,Gudrun,thesewerethepeoplewhomeantalltohim,intheselastresources。Gerald,inhisfather\'spresence,stiffenedwithrepulsion。Itwasso,toalessdegree,withalltheotherchildrenexceptWinifred。Theycouldnotseeanythingbutthedeath,whentheylookedattheirfather。Itwasasifsomesubterraneandislikeovercamethem。Theycouldnotseethefamiliarface,hearthefamiliarvoice。Theywereoverwhelmedbytheantipathyofvisibleandaudibledeath。

  Geraldcouldnotbreatheinhisfather\'spresence。Hemustgetoutatonce。

  Andso,inthesameway,thefathercouldnotbearthepresenceofhisson。Itsentafinalirritationthroughthesoulofthedyingman。

  Thestudiowasmadeready,GudrunandWinifredmovedin。Theyenjoyedsomuchtheorderingandtheappointingofit。Andnowtheyneedhardlybeinthehouseatall。Theyhadtheirmealsinthestudio,theylivedtheresafely。Forthehousewasbecomingdreadful。Thereweretwonursesinwhite,flittingsilentlyabout,likeheraldsofdeath。Thefatherwasconfinedtohisbed,therewasacomeandgoofsotto—vocesistersandbrothersandchildren。

  Winifredwasherfather\'sconstantvisitor。Everymorning,afterbreakfast,shewentintohisroomwhenhewaswashedandproppedupinbed,tospendhalfanhourwithhim。

  `Areyoubetter,Daddie?\'sheaskedhiminvariably。

  Andinvariablyheanswered:

  `Yes,IthinkI\'malittlebetter,pet。\'

  Sheheldhishandinbothherown,lovinglyandprotectively。Andthiswasverydeartohim。

  Sheraninagainasaruleatlunchtime,totellhimthecourseofevents,andeveryevening,whenthecurtainsweredrawn,andhisroomwascosy,shespentalongtimewithhim。Gudrunwasgonehome,Winifredwasaloneinthehouse:shelikedbesttobewithherfather。Theytalkedandprattledatrandom,healwaysasifhewerewell,justthesameaswhenhewasgoingabout。SothatWinifred,withachild\'ssubtleinstinctforavoidingthepainfulthings,behavedasifnothingseriouswasthematter。

  Instinctively,shewithheldherattention,andwashappy。Yetinherremotersoul,sheknewaswellastheadultsknew:perhapsbetter。

  Herfatherwasquitewellinhismake—beliefwithher。Butwhenshewentaway,herelapsedunderthemiseryofhisdissolution。Butstilltherewerethesebrightmoments,thoughashisstrengthwaned,hisfacultyforattentiongrewweaker,andthenursehadtosendWinifredaway,tosavehimfromexhaustion。

  Heneveradmittedthathewasgoingtodie。Heknewitwasso,heknewitwastheend。Yeteventohimselfhedidnotadmitit。Hehatedthefact,mortally。Hiswillwasrigid。Hecouldnotbearbeingovercomebydeath。

  Forhim,therewasnodeath。Andyet,attimes,hefeltagreatneedtocryoutandtowailandcomplain。HewouldhavelikedtocryaloudtoGerald,sothathissonshouldbehorrifiedoutofhiscomposure。Geraldwasinstinctivelyawareofthis,andherecoiled,toavoidanysuchthing。Thisuncleannessofdeathrepelledhimtoomuch。Oneshoulddiequickly,liketheRomans,oneshouldbemasterofone\'sfateindyingasinliving。Hewasconvulsedintheclaspofthisdeathofhisfather\'s,asinthecoilsofthegreatserpentofLaocoon。Thegreatserpenthadgotthefather,andthesonwasdraggedintotheembraceofhorrifyingdeathalongwithhim。Heresistedalways。Andinsomestrangeway,hewasatowerofstrengthtohisfather。

  ThelasttimethedyingmanaskedtoseeGudrunhewasgreywithneardeath。Yethemustseesomeone,hemust,intheintervalsofconsciousness,catchintoconnectionwiththelivingworld,lestheshouldhavetoaccepthisownsituation。Fortunatelyhewasmostofhistimedazedandhalfgone。

  Andhespentmanyhoursdimlythinkingofthepast,asitwere,dimlyre—livinghisoldexperiences。Butthereweretimeseventotheendwhenhewascapableofrealisingwhatwashappeningtohiminthepresent,thedeaththatwasonhim。Andthesewerethetimeswhenhecalledinoutsidehelp,nomatterwhose。Fortorealisethisdeaththathewasdyingwasadeathbeyonddeath,nevertobeborne。Itwasanadmissionnevertobemade。

  Gudrunwasshockedbyhisappearance,andbythedarkened,almostdisintegratedeyes,thatstillwereunconqueredandfirm。

  `Well,\'hesaidinhisweakenedvoice,`andhowareyouandWinifredgettingon?\'

  `Oh,verywellindeed,\'repliedGudrun。

  Therewereslightdeadgapsintheconversation,asiftheideascalledupwereonlyelusivestrawsfloatingonthedarkchaosofthesickman\'sdying。

  `Thestudioanswersallright?\'hesaid。

  `Splendid。Itcouldn\'tbemorebeautifulandperfect,\'saidGudrun。

  Shewaitedforwhathewouldsaynext。

  `AndyouthinkWinifredhasthemakingsofasculptor?\'

  Itwasstrangehowhollowthewordswere,meaningless。

  `I\'msureshehas。Shewilldogoodthingsoneday。\'

  `Ah!Thenherlifewon\'tbealtogetherwasted,youthink?\'

  Gudrunwasrathersurprised。

  `Sureitwon\'t!\'sheexclaimedsoftly。

  `That\'sright。\'

  AgainGudrunwaitedforwhathewouldsay。

  `Youfindlifepleasant,itisgoodtolive,isn\'tit?\'heasked,withapitifulfaintsmilethatwasalmosttoomuchforGudrun。

  `Yes,\'shesmiled——shewouldlieatrandom——`IgetaprettygoodtimeIbelieve。\'

  `That\'sright。Ahappynatureisagreatasset。\'

  AgainGudrunsmiled,thoughhersoulwasdrywithrepulsion。Didonehavetodielikethis——havingthelifeextractedforciblyfromone,whilstonesmiledandmadeconversationtotheend?Wastherenootherway?Mustonegothroughallthehorrorofthisvictoryoverdeath,thetriumphoftheintegralwill,thatwouldnotbebrokentillitdisappearedutterly?

  Onemust,itwastheonlyway。Sheadmiredtheself—possessionandthecontrolofthedyingmanexceedingly。Butsheloathedthedeathitself。

  Shewasgladtheeverydayworldheldgood,andsheneednotrecogniseanythingbeyond。

  `Youarequiteallrighthere?——nothingwecandoforyou?——nothingyoufindwronginyourposition?\'

  `Exceptthatyouaretoogoodtome,\'saidGudrun。

  `Ah,well,thefaultofthatlieswithyourself,\'hesaid,andhefeltalittleexultation,thathehadmadethisspeech。

  Hewasstillsostrongandliving!Butthenauseaofdeathbegantocreepbackonhim,inreaction。

  Gudrunwentaway,backtoWinifred。Mademoisellehadleft,GudrunstayedagooddealatShortlands,andatutorcameintocarryonWinifred\'seducation。

  Buthedidnotliveinthehouse,hewasconnectedwiththeGrammarSchool。

  Oneday,GudrunwastodrivewithWinifredandGeraldandBirkintotown,inthecar。Itwasadark,showeryday。WinifredandGudrunwerereadyandwaitingatthedoor。Winifredwasveryquiet,butGudrunhadnotnoticed。Suddenlythechildasked,inavoiceofunconcern:

  `Doyouthinkmyfather\'sgoingtodie,MissBrangwen?\'

  Gudrunstarted。

  `Idon\'tknow,\'shereplied。

  `Don\'tyoutruly?\'

  `Nobodyknowsforcertain。Hemaydie,ofcourse。\'

  Thechildponderedafewmoments,thensheasked:

  `Butdoyouthinkhewilldie?\'

  Itwasputalmostlikeaquestioningeographyorscience,insistent,asifshewouldforceanadmissionfromtheadult。Thewatchful,slightlytriumphantchildwasalmostdiabolical。

  `DoIthinkhewilldie?\'repeatedGudrun。`Yes,Ido。\'

  ButWinifred\'slargeeyeswerefixedonher,andthegirldidnotmove。

  `Heisveryill,\'saidGudrun。

  AsmallsmilecameoverWinifred\'sface,subtleandsceptical。

  `Idon\'tbelievehewill,\'thechildasserted,mockingly,andshemovedawayintothedrive。Gudrunwatchedtheisolatedfigure,andherheartstoodstill。Winifredwasplayingwithalittlerivuletofwater,absorbedlyasifnothinghadbeensaid。

  `I\'vemadeaproperdam,\'shesaid,outofthemoistdistance。

  Geraldcametothedoorfromoutofthehallbehind。

  `Itisjustaswellshedoesn\'tchoosetobelieveit,\'hesaid。

  Gudrunlookedathim。Theireyesmet;andtheyexchangedasardonicunderstanding。

  `Justaswell,\'saidGudrun。

  Helookedatheragain,andafireflickeredupinhiseyes。

  `BesttodancewhileRomeburns,sinceitmustburn,don\'tyouthink?\'

  hesaid。

  Shewasrathertakenaback。But,gatheringherselftogether,shereplied:

  `Oh——betterdancethanwail,certainly。\'

  `SoIthink。\'

  Andtheybothfeltthesubterraneandesiretoletgo,toflingawayeverything,andlapseintoasheerunrestraint,brutalandlicentious。

  AstrangeblackpassionsurgeduppureinGudrun。Shefeltstrong。Shefeltherhandssostrong,asifshecouldteartheworldasunderwiththem。

  SherememberedtheabandonmentsofRomanlicence,andherheartgrewhot。

  Sheknewshewantedthisherselfalso——orsomething,somethingequivalent。

  Ah,ifthatwhichwasunknownandsuppressedinherwereonceletloose,whatanorgiasticandsatisfyingeventitwouldbe。Andshewantedit,shetrembledslightlyfromtheproximityoftheman,whostoodjustbehindher,suggestiveofthesameblacklicentiousnessthatroseinherself。

  Shewanteditwithhim,thisunacknowledgedfrenzy。Foramomenttheclearperceptionofthispreoccupiedher,distinctandperfectinitsfinalreality。

  Thensheshutitoffcompletely,saying:

  `WemightaswellgodowntothelodgeafterWinifred——wecangetinthecarethere。\'

  `Sowecan,\'heanswered,goingwithher。

  TheyfoundWinifredatthelodgeadmiringthelitterofpurebredwhitepuppies。Thegirllookedup,andtherewasaratherugly,unseeingcastinhereyesassheturnedtoGeraldandGudrun。Shedidnotwanttoseethem。

  `Look!\'shecried。`Threenewpuppies!Marshallsaysthisoneseemsperfect。Isn\'titasweetling?Butitisn\'tsoniceasitsmother。\'Sheturnedtocaressthefinewhitebull—terrierbitchthatstooduneasilynearher。

  `MydearestLadyCrich,\'shesaid,`youarebeautifulasanangelonearth。Angel——angel——don\'tyouthinkshe\'sgoodenoughandbeautifulenoughtogotoheaven,Gudrun?Theywillbeinheaven,won\'tthey——andespeciallymydarlingLadyCrich!MrsMarshall,Isay!\'

  `Yes,MissWinifred?\'saidthewoman,appearingatthedoor。

  `OhdocallthisoneLadyWinifred,ifsheturnsoutperfect,willyou?

  DotellMarshalltocallitLadyWinifred。\'

  `I\'lltellhim——butI\'mafraidthat\'sagentlemanpuppy,MissWinifred。\'

  `Ohno!\'Therewasthesoundofacar。`There\'sRupert!\'criedthechild,andsherantothegate。

  Birkin,drivinghiscar,pulledupoutsidethelodgegate。

  `We\'reready!\'criedWinifred。`Iwanttositinfrontwithyou,Rupert。

  MayI?\'

  `I\'mafraidyou\'llfidgetaboutandfallout,\'hesaid。

  `NoIwon\'t。Idowanttositinfrontnexttoyou。Itmakesmyfeetsolovelyandwarm,fromtheengines。\'

  Birkinhelpedherup,amusedatsendingGeraldtositbyGudruninthebodyofthecar。

  `Haveyouanynews,Rupert?\'Geraldcalled,astheyrushedalongthelanes。

  `News?\'exclaimedBirkin。

  `Yes,\'GeraldlookedatGudrun,whosatbyhisside,andhesaid,hiseyesnarrowlylaughing,`IwanttoknowwhetherIoughttocongratulatehim,butIcan\'tgetanythingdefiniteoutofhim。\'

  Gudrunflusheddeeply。

  `Congratulatehimonwhat?\'sheasked。

  `Therewassomementionofanengagement——atleast,hesaidsomethingtomeaboutit。\'

  Gudrunflusheddarkly。

  `YoumeanwithUrsula?\'shesaid,inchallenge。

  `Yes。Thatisso,isn\'tit?\'

  `Idon\'tthinkthere\'sanyengagement,\'saidGudrun,coldly。

  `Thatso?Stillnodevelopments,Rupert?\'hecalled。

  `Where?Matrimonial?No。\'

  `How\'sthat?\'calledGudrun。

  Birkinglancedquicklyround。Therewasirritationinhiseyesalso。

  `Why?\'hereplied。`Whatdoyouthinkofit,Gudrun?\'

  `Oh,\'shecried,determinedtoflingherstonealsointothepool,sincetheyhadbegun,`Idon\'tthinkshewantsanengagement。Naturally,she\'sabirdthatprefersthebush。\'Gudrun\'svoicewasclearandgong—like。

  ItremindedRupertofherfather\'s,sostrongandvibrant。

  `AndI,\'saidBirkin,hisfaceplayfulbutyetdetermined,`Iwantabindingcontract,andamnotkeenonlove,particularlyfreelove。\'

  Theywerebothamused。Whythispublicavowal?Geraldseemedsuspendedamoment,inamusement。

  `Loveisn\'tgoodenoughforyou?\'hecalled。

  `No!\'shoutedBirkin。

  `Ha,wellthat\'sbeingover—refined,\'saidGerald,andthecarranthroughthemud。

  `What\'sthematter,really?\'saidGerald,turningtoGudrun。

  ThiswasanassumptionofasortofintimacythatirritatedGudrunalmostlikeanaffront。ItseemedtoherthatGeraldwasdeliberatelyinsultingher,andinfringingonthedecentprivacyofthemall。

  `Whatisit?\'shesaid,inherhigh,repellentvoice。`Don\'taskme!

  ——Iknownothingaboutultimatemarriage,Iassureyou:orevenpenultimate。\'

  `Onlytheordinaryunwarrantablebrand!\'repliedGerald。`Justso——

  samehere。Iamnoexpertonmarriage,anddegreesofultimateness。ItseemstobeabeethatbuzzesloudlyinRupert\'sbonnet。\'

  `Exactly!Butthatishistrouble,exactly!Insteadofwantingawomanforherself,hewantshisideasfulfilled。Which,whenitcomestoactualpractice,isnotgoodenough。\'

  `Ohno。Bestgoslapforwhat\'swomanlyinwoman,likeabullatagate。\'

  Thenheseemedtoglimmerinhimself。`Youthinkloveistheticket,doyou?\'heasked。

  `Certainly,whileitlasts——youonlycan\'tinsistonpermanency,\'

  cameGudrun\'svoice,stridentabovethenoise。

  `Marriageornomarriage,ultimateorpenultimateorjustso—so?——

  taketheloveasyoufindit。\'

  `Asyouplease,orasyoudon\'tplease,\'sheechoed。`Marriageisasocialarrangement,Itakeit,andhasnothingtodowiththequestionoflove。\'

  Hiseyeswereflickeringonherallthetime。Shefeltasishewerekissingherfreelyandmalevolently。Itmadethecolourburninhercheeks,butherheartwasquitefirmandunfailing。

  `YouthinkRupertisoffhisheadabit?\'Geraldasked。

  Hereyesflashedwithacknowledgment。

  `Asregardsawoman,yes,\'shesaid,`Ido。Thereissuchathingastwopeoplebeinginloveforthewholeoftheirlives——perhaps。Butmarriageisneitherherenorthere,eventhen。Iftheyareinlove,wellandgood。Ifnot——whybreakeggsaboutit!\'

  `Yes,\'saidGerald。`That\'showitstrikesme。ButwhataboutRupert?\'

  `Ican\'tmakeout——neithercanhenoranybody。Heseemstothinkthatifyoumarryyoucangetthroughmarriageintoathirdheaven,orsomething——allveryvague。\'

  `Very!Andwhowantsathirdheaven?Asamatteroffact,Ruperthasagreatyearningtobesafe——totiehimselftothemast。\'

  `Yes。Itseemstomehe\'smistakentheretoo,\'saidGudrun。`I\'msureamistressismorelikelytobefaithfulthanawife——justbecausesheisherownmistress。No——hesayshebelievesthatamanandwifecangofurtherthananyothertwobeings——butwhere,isnotexplained。

  Theycanknoweachother,heavenlyandhellish,butparticularlyhellish,soperfectlythattheygobeyondheavenandhell——into——thereitallbreaksdown——intonowhere。\'

  `IntoParadise,hesays,\'laughedGerald。

  Gudrunshruggedhershoulders。`Fem\'enficheofyourParadise!\'

  shesaid。

  `NotbeingaMohammedan,\'saidGerald。Birkinsatmotionless,drivingthecar,quiteunconsciousofwhattheysaid。AndGudrun,sittingimmediatelybehindhim,feltasortofironicpleasureinthusexposinghim。

  `Hesays,\'sheadded,withagrimaceofirony,`thatyoucanfindaneternalequilibriuminmarriage,ifyouaccepttheunison,andstillleaveyourselfseparate,don\'ttrytofuse。\'

  `Doesn\'tinspireme,\'saidGerald。

  `That\'sjustit,\'saidGudrun。

  `Ibelieveinlove,inarealabandon,ifyou\'recapableofit,\'

  saidGerald。

  `SodoI,\'saidshe。

  `AndsodoesRupert,too——thoughheisalwaysshouting。\'

  `No,\'saidGudrun。`Hewon\'tabandonhimselftotheotherperson。Youcan\'tbesureofhim。That\'sthetroubleIthink。\'

  `Yethewantsmarriage!Marriage——etpuis?\'

  `Leparadis!\'mockedGudrun。

  Birkin,ashedrove,feltacreepingofthespine,asifsomebodywasthreateninghisneck。Butheshruggedwithindifference。Itbegantorain。

  Herewasachange。Hestoppedthecarandgotdowntoputupthehood。

  WomenInLove:Chapter22CHAPTERXXIIWomantoWomanTHEYCAMEtothetown,andleftGeraldattherailwaystation。GudrunandWinifredweretocometoteawithBirkin,whoexpectedUrsulaalso。Intheafternoon,however,thefirstpersontoturnupwasHermione。Birkinwasout,soshewentinthedrawing—room,lookingathisbooksandpapers,andplayingonthepiano。ThenUrsulaarrived。Shewassurprised,unpleasantlyso,toseeHermione,ofwhomshehadheardnothingforsometime。

  `Itisasurprisetoseeyou,\'shesaid。

  `Yes,\'saidHermione——`I\'vebeenawayatAix——\'

  `Oh,foryourhealth?\'

  `Yes。\'

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