`Youknowwhattheysay？Themoonandtheweathermaychangetogether，butthechangeofthemoonwon\'tchangetheweather。\'
`Isthatit？\'saidBirkin。`Ihadn\'theardit。\'
Therewasapause。ThenBirkinsaid:
`AmIhinderingyou？IcalledtoseeUrsula，really。Issheathome？\'
`Idon\'tbelievesheis。Ibelieveshe\'sgonetothelibrary。I\'lljustsee。\'
Birkincouldhearhimenquiringinthedining—room。
`No，\'hesaid，comingback。`Butshewon\'tbelong。Youwantedtospeaktoher？\'
Birkinlookedacrossattheothermanwithcuriouscalm，cleareyes。
`Asamatteroffact，\'hesaid，`Iwantedtoaskhertomarryme。\'
Apointoflightcameonthegolden—browneyesoftheelderman。
`O—oh？\'hesaid，lookingatBirkin，thendroppinghiseyesbeforethecalm，steadilywatchinglookoftheother:`Wassheexpectingyouthen？\'
`No，\'saidBirkin。
`No？Ididn\'tknowanythingofthissortwasonfoot——\'Brangwensmiledawkwardly。
Birkinlookedbackathim，andsaidtohimself:`Iwonderwhyitshouldbe\"onfoot\"！\'Aloudhesaid:
`No，it\'sperhapsrathersudden。\'Atwhich，thinkingofhisrelationshipwithUrsula，headded——`butIdon\'tknow——\'
`Quitesudden，isit？Oh！\'saidBrangwen，ratherbaffledandannoyed。
`Inoneway，\'repliedBirkin，`——notinanother。\'
Therewasamoment\'spause，afterwhichBrangwensaid:
`Well，shepleasesherself——\'
`Ohyes！\'saidBirkin，calmly。
AvibrationcameintoBrangwen\'sstrongvoice，ashereplied:
`ThoughIshouldn\'twanthertobeintoobigahurry，either。It\'snogoodlookingroundafterwards，whenit\'stoolate。\'
`Oh，itneedneverbetoolate，\'saidBirkin，`asfarasthatgoes。\'
`Howdoyoumean？\'askedthefather。
`Ifonerepentsbeingmarried，themarriageisatanend，\'saidBirkin。
`Youthinkso？\'
`Yes。\'
`Ay，wellthatmaybeyourwayoflookingatit。\'
Birkin，insilence，thoughttohimself:`Soitmay。Asforyourwayoflookingatit，WilliamBrangwen，itneedsalittleexplaining。\'
`Isuppose，\'saidBrangwen，`youknowwhatsortofpeopleweare？Whatsortofabringing—upshe\'shad？\'
`\"She\"，\'thoughtBirkintohimself，rememberinghischildhood\'scorrections，`isthecat\'smother。\'
`DoIknowwhatsortofabringing—upshe\'shad？\'hesaidaloud。
HeseemedtoannoyBrangwenintentionally。
`Well，\'hesaid，`she\'shadeverythingthat\'srightforagirltohave——asfaraspossible，asfaraswecouldgiveither。\'
`I\'msureshehas，\'saidBirkin，whichcausedaperilousfull—stop。
Thefatherwasbecomingexasperated。TherewassomethingnaturallyirritanttohiminBirkin\'smerepresence。
`AndIdon\'twanttoseehergoingbackonitall，\'hesaid，inaclangingvoice。
`Why？\'saidBirkin。
ThismonosyllableexplodedinBrangwen\'sbrainlikeashot。
`Why！Idon\'tbelieveinyournew—fangledwaysandnew—fangledideas——inandoutlikeafroginagallipot。Itwouldneverdoforme。\'
Birkinwatchedhimwithsteadyemotionlesseyes。Theradicalantagnoisminthetwomenwasrousing。
`Yes，butaremywaysandideasnew—fangled？\'askedBirkin。
`Arethey？\'Brangwencaughthimselfup。`I\'mnotspeakingofyouinparticular，\'hesaid。`WhatImeanisthatmychildrenhavebeenbroughtuptothinkanddoaccordingtothereligionIwasbroughtupinmyself，andIdon\'twanttoseethemgoingawayfromthat。\'
Therewasadangerouspause。
`Andbeyondthat——？\'askedBirkin。
Thefatherhesitated，hewasinanastyposition。
`Eh？Whatdoyoumean？AllIwanttosayisthatmydaughter\'——hetailedoffintosilence，overcomebyfutility。Heknewthatinsomewayhewasoffthetrack。
`Ofcourse，\'saidBirkin，`Idon\'twanttohurtanybodyorinfluenceanybody。Ursuladoesexactlyasshepleases。\'
Therewasacompletesilence，becauseoftheutterfailureinmutualunderstanding。Birkinfeltbored。Herfatherwasnotacoherenthumanbeing，hewasaroomfulofoldechoes。Theeyesoftheyoungermanrestedonthefaceoftheelder。Brangwenlookedup，andsawBirkinlookingathim。Hisfacewascoveredwithinarticulateangerandhumiliationandsenseofinferiorityinstrength。
`Andasforbeliefs，that\'sonething，\'hesaid。`ButI\'dratherseemydaughtersdeadtomorrowthanthattheyshouldbeatthebeckandcallofthefirstmanthatlikestocomeandwhistleforthem。\'
AqueerpainfullightcameintoBirkin\'seyes。
`Astothat，\'hesaid，`Ionlyknowthatit\'smuchmorelikelythatit\'sIwhoamatthebeckandcallofthewoman，thansheatmine。\'
Againtherewasapause。Thefatherwassomewhatbewildered。
`Iknow，\'hesaid，`she\'llpleaseherself——shealwayshasdone。I\'vedonemybestforthem，butthatdoesn\'tmatter。They\'vegotthemselvestoplease，andiftheycanhelpitthey\'llpleasenobodybutthemselves。
Butshe\'sarighttoconsiderhermother，andmeaswell——\'
Brangwenwasthinkinghisownthoughts。
`AndItellyouthismuch，Iwouldratherburythem，thanseethemgettingintoalotofloosewayssuchasyouseeeverywherenowadays。I\'dratherburythem——\'
`Yesbut，yousee，\'saidBirkinslowly，ratherwearily，boredagainbythisnewturn，`theywon\'tgiveeitheryouormethechancetoburythem，becausethey\'renottobeburied。\'
Brangwenlookedathiminasuddenflareofimpotentanger。
`Now，MrBirkin，\'hesaid，`Idon\'tknowwhatyou\'vecomeherefor，andIdon\'tknowwhatyou\'reaskingfor。Butmydaughtersaremydaughters——andit\'smybusinesstolookafterthemwhileIcan。\'
Birkin\'sbrowsknittedsuddenly，hiseyesconcentratedinmockery。Butheremainedperfectlystiffandstill。Therewasapause。
`I\'venothingagainstyourmarryingUrsula，\'Brangwenbeganatlength。
`It\'sgotnothingtodowithme，she\'lldoasshelikes，meornome。\'
Birkinturnedaway，lookingoutofthewindowandlettinggohisconsciousness。
Afterall，whatgoodwasthis？Itwashopelesstokeepitup。HewouldsitontillUrsulacamehome，thenspeaktoher，thengoaway。Hewouldnotaccepttroubleatthehandsofherfather。Itwasallunnecessary，andhehimselfneednothaveprovokedit。
Thetwomensatincompletesilence，Birkinalmostunconsciousofhisownwhereabouts。Hehadcometoaskhertomarryhim——wellthen，hewouldwaiton，andaskher。Asforwhatshesaid，whethersheacceptedornot，hedidnotthinkaboutit。Hewouldsaywhathehadcometosay，andthatwasallhewasconsciousof。Heacceptedthecompleteinsignificanceofthishousehold，forhim。Buteverythingnowwasasiffated。Hecouldseeonethingahead，andnomore。Fromtherest，hewasabsolvedentirelyforthetimebeing。Ithadtobelefttofateandchancetoresolvetheissues。
Atlengththeyheardthegate。Theysawhercomingupthestepswithabundleofbooksunderherarm。Herfacewasbrightandabstractedasusual，withtheabstraction，thatlookofbeingnotquitethere，notquitepresenttothefactsofreality，thatgalledherfathersomuch。
Shehadamaddeningfacultyofassumingalightofherown，whichexcludedthereality，andwithinwhichshelookedradiantasifinsunshine。
Theyheardhergointothedining—room，anddropherarmfulofbooksonthetable。
`DidyoubringmethatGirl\'sOwn？\'criedRosalind。
`Yes，Ibroughtit。ButIforgotwhichoneitwasyouwanted。\'
`Youwould，\'criedRosalindangrily。`It\'srightforawonder。\'
Thentheyheardhersaysomethinginaloweredtone。
`Where？\'criedUrsula。
Againhersister\'svoicewasmuffled。
Brangwenopenedthedoor，andcalled，inhisstrong，brazenvoice:
`Ursula。\'
Sheappearedinamoment，wearingherhat。
`Ohhowdoyoudo！\'shecried，seeingBirkin，andalldazzledasiftakenbysurprise。Hewonderedather，knowingshewasawareofhispresence。
Shehadherqueer，radiant，breathlessmanner，asifconfusedbytheactualworld，unrealtoit，havingacompletebrightworldofherselfalone。
`HaveIinterruptedaconversation？\'sheasked。
`No，onlyacompletesilence，\'saidBirkin。
`Oh，\'saidUrsula，vaguely，absent。Theirpresencewasnotvitaltoher，shewaswithheld，shedidnottakethemin。Itwasasubtleinsultthatneverfailedtoexasperateherfather。
`MrBirkincametospeaktoyou，nottome，\'saidherfather。
`Oh，didhe！\'sheexclaimedvaguely，asifitdidnotconcernher。Then，recollectingherself，sheturnedtohimratherradiantly，butstillquitesuperficially，andsaid:`Wasitanythingspecial？\'
`Ihopeso，\'hesaid，ironically。
`——Toproposetoyou，accordingtoallaccounts，\'saidherfather。
`Oh，\'saidUrsula。
`Oh，\'mockedherfather，imitatingher。`Haveyounothingmoretosay？\'
Shewincedasifviolated。
`Didyoureallycometoproposetome？\'sheaskedofBirkin，asifitwereajoke。
`Yes，\'hesaid。`IsupposeIcametopropose。\'Heseemedtofightshyofthelastword。
`Didyou？\'shecried，withhervagueradiance。Hemighthavebeensayinganythingwhatsoever。Sheseemedpleased。
`Yes，\'heanswered。`Iwantedto——Iwantedyoutoagreetomarryme。\'
Shelookedathim。Hiseyeswereflickeringwithmixedlights，wantingsomethingofher，yetnotwantingit。Sheshrankalittle，asifshewereexposedtohiseyes，andasifitwereapaintoher。Shedarkened，hersoulcloudedover，sheturnedaside。Shehadbeendrivenoutofherownradiant，singleworld。Andshedreadedcontact，itwasalmostunnaturaltoheratthesetimes。
`Yes，\'shesaidvaguely，inadoubting，absentvoice。
Birkin\'sheartcontractedswiftly，inasuddenfireofbitterness。Itallmeantnothingtoher。Hehadbeenmistakenagain。Shewasinsomeself—satisfiedworldofherown。Heandhishopeswereaccidentals，violationstoher。
Itdroveherfathertoapitchofmadexasperation。Hehadhadtoputupwiththisallhislife，fromher。
`Well，whatdoyousay？\'hecried。
Shewinced。Thensheglanceddownatherfather，half—frightened，andshesaid:
`Ididn\'tspeak，didI？\'asifshewereafraidshemighthavecommittedherself。
`No，\'saidherfather，exasperated。`Butyouneedn\'tlooklikeanidiot。
You\'vegotyourwits，haven\'tyou？\'
Sheebbedawayinsilenthostility。
`I\'vegotmywits，whatdoesthatmean？\'sherepeated，inasullenvoiceofantagonism。
`Youheardwhatwasaskedyou，didn\'tyou？\'criedherfatherinanger。
`OfcourseIheard。\'
`Wellthen，can\'tyouanswer？\'thunderedherfather。
`WhyshouldI？\'
Attheimpertinenceofthisretort，hewentstiff。Buthesaidnothing。
`No，\'saidBirkin，tohelpouttheoccasion，`there\'snoneedtoansweratonce。Youcansaywhenyoulike。\'
Hereyesflashedwithapowerfullight。
`WhyshouldIsayanything？\'shecried。`Youdothisoffyourownbat，ithasnothingtodowithme。Whydoyoubothwanttobullyme？\'
`Bullyyou！Bullyyou！\'criedherfather，inbitter，rancorousanger。
`Bullyyou！Why，it\'sapityyoucan\'tbebulliedintosomesenseanddecency。
Bullyyou！You\'llseetothat，youself—willedcreature。\'
Shestoodsuspendedinthemiddleoftheroom，herfaceglimmeringanddangerous。Shewassetinsatisfieddefiance。Birkinlookedupather。
Hetoowasangry。
`Butnoneisbullyingyou，\'hesaid，inaverysoftdangerousvoicealso。
`Ohyes，\'shecried。`Youbothwanttoforcemeintosomething。\'
`Thatisanillusionofyours，\'hesaidironically。
`Illusion！\'criedherfather。`Aself—opinionatedfool，that\'swhatsheis。\'
Birkinrose，saying:
`However，we\'llleaveitforthetimebeing。\'
Andwithoutanotherword，hewalkedoutofthehouse。
`Youfool！Youfool！\'herfathercriedtoher，withextremebitterness。
Shelefttheroom，andwentupstairs，singingtoherself。Butshewasterriblyfluttered，asaftersomedreadfulfight。Fromherwindow，shecouldseeBirkingoinguptheroad。Hewentinsuchablithedriftofrage，thathermindwonderedoverhim。Hewasridiculous，butshewasafraidofhim。
Shewasasifescapedfromsomedanger。
Herfathersatbelow，powerlessinhumiliationandchagrin。Itwasasifhewerepossessedwithallthedevils，afteroneoftheseunaccountableconflictswithUrsula。Hehatedherasifhisonlyrealitywereinhatinghertothelastdegree。Hehadallhellinhisheart。Buthewentaway，toescapehimself。Heknewhemustdespair，yield，giveintodespair，andhavedone。
Ursula\'sfaceclosed，shecompletedherselfagainstthemall。Recoilinguponherself，shebecamehardandself—completed，likeajewel。Shewasbrightandinvulnerable，quitefreeandhappy，perfectlyliberatedinherself—possession。Herfatherhadtolearnnottoseeherblitheobliviousness，oritwouldhavesenthimmad。Shewassoradiantwithallthings，inherpossessionofperfecthostility。
Shewouldgoonnowfordayslikethis，inthisbrightfrankstateofseeminglypurespontaneity，soessentiallyobliviousoftheexistenceofanythingbutherself，butsoreadyandfacileinherinterest。Ahitwasabitterthingforamantobenearher，andherfathercursedhisfatherhood。
Buthemustlearnnottoseeher，nottoknow。
Shewasperfectlystableinresistancewhenshewasinthisstate:sobrightandradiantandattractiveinherpureopposition，soverypure，andyetmistrustedbyeverybody，dislikedoneveryhand。Itwashervoice，curiouslyclearandrepellent，thatgaveheraway。OnlyGudrunwasinaccordwithher。Itwasatthesetimesthattheintimacybetweenthetwosisterswasmostcomplete，asiftheirintelligencewereone。Theyfeltastrong，brightbondofunderstandingbetweenthem，surpassingeverythingelse。
Andduringallthesedaysofblindbrightabstractionandintimacyofhistwodaughters，thefatherseemedtobreatheanairofdeath，asifheweredestroyedinhisverybeing。Hewasirritabletomadness，hecouldnotrest，hisdaughtersseemedtobedestroyinghim。Buthewasinarticulateandhelplessagainstthem。Hewasforcedtobreathetheairofhisowndeath。Hecursedtheminhissoul，andonlywanted，thattheyshouldberemovedfromhim。
Theycontinuedradiantintheireasyfemaletranscendancy，beautifultolookat。Theyexchangedconfidences，theywereintimateintheirrevelationstothelastdegree，givingeachotheratlasteverysecret。Theywithheldnothing，theytoldeverything，tilltheywereovertheborderofevil。
Andtheyarmedeachotherwithknowledge，theyextractedthesubtlestflavoursfromtheappleofknowledge。Itwascurioushowtheirknowledgewascomplementary，thatofeachtothatoftheother。
Ursulasawhermenassons，pitiedtheiryearningandadmiredtheircourage，andwonderedoverthemasamotherwondersoverherchild，withacertaindelightintheirnovelty。ButtoGudrun，theyweretheoppositecamp。Shefearedthemanddespisedthem，andrespectedtheiractivitiesevenovermuch。
`Ofcourse，\'shesaideasily，`thereisaqualityoflifeinBirkinwhichisquiteremarkable。Thereisanextraordinaryrichspringoflifeinhim，reallyamazing，thewayhecangivehimselftothings。Buttherearesomanythingsinlifethathesimplydoesn\'tknow。Eitherheisnotawareoftheirexistenceatall，orhedismissesthemasmerelynegligible——thingswhicharevitaltotheotherperson。Inaway，heisnotcleverenough，heistoointenseinspots。\'
`Yes，\'criedUrsula，`toomuchofapreacher。Heisreallyapriest。\'
`Exactly！Hecan\'thearwhatanybodyelsehastosay——hesimplycannothear。Hisownvoiceissoloud。\'
`Yes。Hecriesyoudown。\'
`Hecriesyoudown，\'repeatedGudrun。`Andbymereforceofviolence。
Andofcourseitishopeless。Nobodyisconvincedbyviolence。Itmakestalkingtohimimpossible——andlivingwithhimIshouldthinkwouldbemorethanimpossible。\'
`Youdon\'tthinkonecouldlivewithhim\'askedUrsula。
`Ithinkitwouldbetoowearing，tooexhausting。Onewouldbeshouteddowneverytime，andrushedintohiswaywithoutanychoice。Hewouldwanttocontrolyouentirely。Hecannotallowthatthereisanyothermindthanhisown。Andthentherealclumsinessofhismindisitslackofself—criticism。
No，Ithinkitwouldbeperfectlyintolerable。\'
`Yes，\'assentedUrsulavaguely。SheonlyhalfagreedwithGudrun。`Thenuisanceis，\'shesaid，`thatonewouldfindalmostanymanintolerableafterafortnight。\'
`It\'sperfectlydreadful，\'saidGudrun。`ButBirkin——heistoopositive。
Hecouldn\'tbearitifyoucalledyoursoulyourown。Ofhimthatisstrictlytrue。\'
`Yes，\'saidUrsula。`Youmusthavehissoul。\'
`Exactly！Andwhatcanyouconceivemoredeadly？\'Thiswasallsotrue，thatUrsulafeltjarredtothebottomofhersoulwithuglydistaste。
Shewenton，withthediscordjarringandjoltingthroughher，inthemostbarrenofmisery。
ThentherestartedarevulsionfromGudrun。Shefinishedlifeoffsothoroughly，shemadethingssouglyandsofinal。Asamatteroffact，evenifitwereasGudrunsaid，aboutBirkin，otherthingsweretrueaswell。ButGudrunwoulddrawtwolinesunderhimandcrosshimoutlikeanaccountthatissettled。Therehewas，summedup，paidfor，settled，donewith。Anditwassuchalie。ThisfinalityofGudrun\'s，thisdispatchingofpeopleandthingsinasentence，itwasallsuchalie。Ursulabegantorevoltfromhersister。
Onedayastheywerewalkingalongthelane，theysawarobinsittingonthetoptwigofabush，singingshrilly。Thesistersstoodtolookathim。AnironicalsmileflickeredonGudrun\'sface。
`Doesn\'thefeelimportant？\'smiledGudrun。
`Doesn\'the！\'exclaimedUrsula，withalittleironicalgrimace。`Isn\'thealittleLloydGeorgeoftheair！\'
`Isn\'the！LittleLloydGeorgeoftheair！That\'sjustwhattheyare，\'
criedGudrunindelight。Thenfordays，Ursulasawthepersistent，obtrusivebirdsasstout，shortpoliticiansliftinguptheirvoicesfromtheplatform，littlemenwhomustmakethemselvesheardatanycost。
Butevenfromthistherecametherevulsion。Someyellowhammerssuddenlyshotalongtheroadinfrontofher。Andtheylookedtohersouncannyandinhuman，likeflaringyellowbarbsshootingthroughtheaironsomeweird，livingerrand，thatshesaidtoherself:`Afterall，itisimpudencetocallthemlittleLloydGeorges。Theyarereallyunknowntous，theyaretheunknownforces。Itisimpudencetolookatthemasiftheywerethesameashumanbeings。Theyareofanotherworld。Howstupidanthropomorphismis！Gudrunisreallyimpudent，insolent，makingherselfthemeasureofeverything，makingeverythingcomedowntohumanstandards。Rupertisquiteright，humanbeingsareboring，paintingtheuniversewiththeirownimage。
Theuniverseisnon—human，thankGod。\'Itseemedtoherirreverence，destructiveofalltruelife，tomakelittleLloydGeorgesofthebirds。Itwassuchalietowardstherobins，andsuchadefamation。Yetshehaddoneitherself。
ButunderGudrun\'sinfluence:sosheexoneratedherself。
SoshewithdrewawayfromGudrunandfromthatwhichshestoodfor，sheturnedinspirittowardsBirkinagain。Shehadnotseenhimsincethefiascoofhisproposal。Shedidnotwantto，becauseshedidnotwantthequestionofheracceptancethrustuponher。SheknewwhatBirkinmeantwhenheaskedhertomarryhim;vaguely，withoutputtingitintospeech，sheknew。Sheknewwhatkindoflove，whatkindofsurrenderhewanted。
Andshewasnotatallsurethatthiswasthekindoflovethatsheherselfwanted。Shewasnotatallsurethatitwasthismutualunisoninseparatenessthatshewanted。Shewantedunspeakableintimacies。Shewantedtohavehim，utterly，finallytohavehimasherown，oh，sounspeakably，inintimacy。
Todrinkhimdown——ah，likealife—draught。Shemadegreatprofessions，toherself，ofherwillingnesstowarmhisfoot—solesbetweenherbreasts，afterthefashionofthenauseousMeredithpoem。Butonlyonconditionthathe，herlover，lovedherabsolutely，withcompleteself—abandon。Andsubtlyenough，sheknewhewouldneverabandonhimselffinallytoher。Hedidnotbelieveinfinalself—abandonment。Hesaiditopenly。Itwashischallenge。Shewaspreparedtofighthimforit。Forshebelievedinanabsolutesurrendertolove。Shebelievedthatlovefarsurpassedtheindividual。Hesaidtheindividualwasmorethanlove，orthananyrelationship。Forhim，thebright，singlesoulacceptedloveasoneofitsconditions，aconditionofitsownequilibrium。Shebelievedthatlovewaseverything。Manmustrenderhimselfuptoher。Hemustbequaffedtothedregsbyher。Lethimbehermanutterly，andsheinreturnwouldbehishumbleslave——whethershewanteditornot。
WomenInLove:Chapter20CHAPTERXXGladiatorialAFTERthefiascooftheproposal，BirkinhadhurriedblindlyawayfromBeldover，inawhirloffury。Hefelthehadbeenacompletefool，thatthewholescenehadbeenafarceofthefirstwater。Butthatdidnottroublehimatall。Hewasdeeply，mockinglyangrythatUrsulapersistedalwaysinthisoldcry:`Whydoyouwanttobullyme？\'andinherbright，insolentabstraction。
HewentstraighttoShortlands。TherehefoundGeraldstandingwithhisbacktothefire，inthelibrary，asmotionlessasamanis，whoiscompletelyandemptilyrestless，utterlyhollow。Hehaddonealltheworkhewantedtodo——andnowtherewasnothing。Hecouldgooutinthecar，hecouldruntotown。Buthedidnotwanttogooutinthecar，hedidnotwanttoruntotown，hedidnotwanttocallontheThirlbys。Hewassuspendedmotionless，inanagonyofinertia，likeamachinethatiswithoutpower。
ThiswasverybittertoGerald，whohadneverknownwhatboredomwas，whohadgonefromactivitytoactivity，neverataloss。Now，gradually，everythingseemedtobestoppinginhim。Hedidnotwantanymoretodothethingsthatoffered。Somethingdeadwithinhimjustrefusedtorespondtoanysuggestion。Hecastoverinhismind，whatitwouldbepossibletodo，tosavehimselffromthismiseryofnothingness，relievethestressofthishollowness。Andtherewereonlythreethingsleft，thatwouldrousehim，makehimlive。Onewastodrinkorsmokehashish，theotherwastobesoothedbyBirkin，andthethirdwaswomen。Andtherewasno—oneforthemomenttodrinkwith。Norwasthereawoman。AndheknewBirkinwasout。Sotherewasnothingtodobuttobearthestressofhisownemptiness。
WhenhesawBirkinhisfacelitupinasudden，wonderfulsmile。
`ByGod，Rupert，\'hesaid，`I\'djustcometotheconclusionthatnothingintheworldmatteredexceptsomebodytotaketheedgeoffone\'sbeingalone:therightsomebody。\'
Thesmileinhiseyeswasveryastonishing，ashelookedattheotherman。Itwasthepuregleamofrelief。Hisfacewaspallidandevenhaggard。
`Therightwoman，Isupposeyoumean，\'saidBirkinspitefully。
`Ofcourse，forchoice。Failingthat，anamusingman。\'
Helaughedashesaidit。Birkinsatdownnearthefire。
`Whatwereyoudoing？\'heasked。
`I？Nothing。I\'minabadwayjustnow，everything\'sonedge，andI
canneitherworknorplay。Idon\'tknowwhetherit\'sasignofoldage，I\'msure。\'
`Youmeanyouarebored？\'
`Bored，Idon\'tknow。Ican\'tapplymyself。AndIfeelthedeviliseitherverypresentinsideme，ordead。\'
Birkinglancedupandlookedinhiseyes。
`Youshouldtryhittingsomething，\'hesaid。
Geraldsmiled。
`Perhaps，\'hesaid。`Solongasitwassomethingworthhitting。\'
`Quite！\'saidBirkin，inhissoftvoice。Therewasalongpauseduringwhicheachcouldfeelthepresenceoftheother。
`Onehastowait，\'saidBirkin。
`AhGod！Waiting！Whatarewewaitingfor？\'
`SomeoldJohnnysaystherearethreecuresforennui，sleep，drink，andtravel，\'saidBirkin。
`Allcoldeggs，\'saidGerald。`Insleep，youdream，indrinkyoucurse，andintravelyouyellataporter。No，workandlovearethetwo。Whenyou\'renotatworkyoushouldbeinlove。\'
`Beitthen，\'saidBirkin。
`Givemetheobject，\'saidGerald。`Thepossibilitiesofloveexhaustthemselves。\'
`Dothey？Andthenwhat？\'
`Thenyoudie，\'saidGerald。
`Soyouought，\'saidBirkin。
`Idon\'tseeit，\'repliedGerald。Hetookhishandsoutofhistrouserspockets，andreachedforacigarette。Hewastenseandnervous。Helitthecigaretteoveralamp，reachingforwardanddrawingsteadily。Hewasdressedfordinner，asusualintheevening，althoughhewasalone。
`There\'sathirdoneeventoyourtwo，\'saidBirkin。`Work，love，andfighting。Youforgetthefight。\'
`IsupposeIdo，\'saidGerald。`Didyoueverdoanyboxing——？\'
`No，Idon\'tthinkIdid，\'saidBirkin。
`Ay——\'Geraldliftedhisheadandblewthesmokeslowlyintotheair。
`Why？\'saidBirkin。
`Nothing。Ithoughtwemighthavearound。Itisperhapstrue，thatIwantsomethingtohit。It\'sasuggestion。\'
`Soyouthinkyoumightaswellhitme？\'saidBirkin。
`You？Well！Perhaps——！Inafriendlykindofway，ofcourse。\'
`Quite！\'saidBirkin，bitingly。