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　　Acopper—coloredskeleton，witharagaroundhim，broughtmeaglassdecanterofwater，withalightedtobaccopipeinthetopofit，andapliantstemayardlong，withabrassmouth—piecetoit。

　　Itwasthefamous\"narghili\"oftheEast——thethingtheGrandTurksmokesinthepictures。Thisbegantolooklikeluxury。Itookoneblastatit，anditwassufficient;thesmokewentinagreatvolumedownintomystomach，mylungs，evenintotheuttermostpartsofmyframe。Iexplodedonemightycough，anditwasasifVesuviushadletgo。ForthenextfiveminutesIsmokedateverypore，likeaframehousethatisonfireontheinside。

　　Notanymorenarghiliforme。Thesmokehadaviletaste，andthetasteofathousandinfideltonguesthatremainedonthatbrassmouthpiecewasvilerstill。Iwasgettingdiscouraged。Whenever，hereafter，Iseethecross—leggedGrandTurksmokinghisnarghili，inpretendedbliss，ontheoutsideofapaperofConnecticuttobacco，Ishallknowhimfortheshamelesshumbugheis。

　　Thisprisonwasfilledwithhotair。WhenIhadgotwarmedupsufficientlytopreparemeforastillwarmertemperature，theytookmewhereitwas——intoamarbleroom，wet，slipperyandsteamy，andlaidmeoutonaraisedplatforminthecentre。Itwasverywarm。Presentlymymansatmedownbyatankofhotwater，drenchedmewell，glovedhishandwithacoarsemitten，andbegantopolishmealloverwithit。Ibegantosmelldisgreeably。ThemorehepolishedtheworseIsmelt。Itwasalarming。Isaidtohim:

　　\"IperceivethatIamprettyfargone。ItisplainthatIoughttobeburiedwithoutanyunnecessarydelay。Perhapsyouhadbettergoaftermyfriendsatonce，becausetheweatheriswarm，andIcannot\'keep\'long。\"\'

　　Hewentonscrubbing，andpaidnoattention。Isoonsawthathewasreducingmysize。Heborehardonhismitten，andfromunderitrolledlittlecylinders，likemaccaroni。Itcouldnotbedirt，foritwastoowhite。Heparedmedowninthiswayforalongtime。FinallyIsaid:

　　\"Itisatediousprocess。Itwilltakehourstotrimmetothesizeyouwantme;Iwillwait;goandborrowajack—plane。\"

　　Hepaidnoattentionatall。

　　Afterawhilehebroughtabasin，somesoap，andsomethingthatseemedtobethetailofahorse。Hemadeupaprodigiousquantityofsoap—suds，delugedmewiththemfromheadtofoot，withoutwarningmetoshutmyeyes，andthenswabbedmeviciouslywiththehorse—tail。Thenheleftmethere，asnowystatueoflather，andwentaway。WhenIgottiredofwaitingI

　　wentandhuntedhimup。Hewasproppedagainstthewall，inanotherroom，asleep。Iwokehim。Hewasnotdisconcerted。Hetookmebackandfloodedmewithhotwater，thenturbanedmyhead，swathedmewithdrytable—cloths，andconductedmetoalatticedchicken—coopinoneofthegalleries，andpointedtooneofthoseArkansasbeds。Imountedit，andvaguelyexpectedtheodorsofArabyagain。Theydidnotcome。

　　Theblank，unornamentedcoophadnothingaboutitofthatorientalvoluptuousnessonereadsofsomuch。Itwasmoresuggestiveofthecountyhospitalthananythingelse。Theskinnyservitorbroughtanarghili，andIgothimtotakeitoutagainwithoutwastinganytimeaboutit。Thenhebroughttheworld—renownedTurkishcoffeethatpoetshavesungsorapturouslyformanygenerations，andIseizeduponitasthelasthopethatwasleftofmyolddreamsofEasternluxury。Itwasanotherfraud。Ofalltheunchristianbeveragesthateverpassedmylips，Turkishcoffeeistheworst。Thecupissmall，itissmearedwithgrounds;thecoffeeisblack，thick，unsavoryofsmell，andexecrableintaste。Thebottomofthecuphasamuddysedimentinithalfaninchdeep。Thisgoesdownyourthroat，andportionsofitlodgebytheway，andproduceaticklingaggravationthatkeepsyoubarkingandcoughingforanhour。

　　HereendethmyexperienceofthecelebratedTurkishbath，andherealsoendethmydreamoftheblissthemortalrevelsinwhopassesthroughit。

　　Itisamalignantswindle。Themanwhoenjoysitisqualifiedtoenjoyanythingthatisrepulsivetosightorsense，andhethatcaninvestitwithacharmofpoetryisabletodothesamewithanythingelseintheworldthatistedious，andwretched，anddismal，andnasty。

　　Chapter35

　　WeleftadozenpassengersinConstantinople，andsailedthroughthebeautifulBosporusandfarupintotheBlackSea。WeleftthemintheclutchesofthecelebratedTurkishguide，\"FAR—AWAYMOSES，\"whowillseducethemintobuyingaship—loadofottarofroses，splendidTurkishvestments，andailmannerofcuriousthingstheycanneverhaveanyusefor。Murray\'sinvaluableguide—bookshavementionedFar—awayMoses\'name，andheisamademan。Herejoicesdailyinthefactthatheisarecognizedcelebrity。

　　However，wecannotalterourestablishedcustomstopleasethewhimsofguides;wecannotshowpartialitiesthislateintheday。Therefore，ignoringthisfellow\'sbrilliantfame，andignoringthefancifulnamehetakessuchpridein，wecalledhimFerguson，justaswehaddonewithallotherguides。

　　Ithaskepthiminastateofsmotheredexasperationallthetime。Yetwemeanthimnoharm。Afterhehasgottenhimselfupregardlessofexpense，inshowy，baggytrowsers，yellow，pointedslippers，fieryfez，silkenjacketofblue，voluminouswaist—sashoffancyPersianstufffilledwithabatteryofsilver—mountedhorse—pistols，andhasstrappedonhisterriblescimitar，heconsidersitanunspeakablehumiliationtobecalledFerguson。Itcannotbehelped。AllguidesareFergusonstous。Wecannotmastertheirdreadfulforeignnames。

　　SebastopolisprobablytheworstbatteredtowninRussiaoranywhereelse。Butweoughttobepleasedwithit，nevertheless，forwehavebeeninnocountryyetwherewehavebeensokindlyreceived，andwherewefeltthattobeAmericanswasasufficientviséforourpassports。

　　Themomenttheanchorwasdown，theGovernorofthetownimmediatelydispatchedanofficeronboardtoinquireifhecouldbeofanyassistancetous，andtoinviteustomakeourselvesathomeinSebastopol！IfyouknowRussia，youknowthatthiswasawildstretchofhospitality。Theyareusuallysosuspiciousofstrangersthattheyworrythemexcessivelywiththedelaysandaggravationsincidenttoacomplicatedpassportsystem。HadwecomefromanyothercountrywecouldnothavehadpermissiontoenterSebastopolandleaveagainunderthreedays——butasitwas，wewereatlibertytogoandcomewhenandwherewepleased。EverybodyinConstantinoplewarnedustobeverycarefulaboutourpassports，seethattheywerestrictlyenregle，andnevertomislaythemforamoment:andtheytoldusofnumerousinstancesofEnglishmenandotherswhoweredelayeddays，weeks，andevenmonths，inSebastopol，onaccountoftriflinginformalitiesintheirpassports，andforwhichtheywerenottoblame。Ihadlostmypassport，andwastravelingundermyroom—mate\'s，whostayedbehindinConstantinopletoawaitourreturn。Toreadthedescriptionofhiminthatpassportandthenlookatme，anymancouldseethatIwasnomorelikehimthanIamlikeHercules。SoIwentintotheharborofSebastopolwithfearandtrembling——fullofavague，horribleapprehensionthatIwasgoingtobefoundoutandhanged。Butallthattimemytruepassporthadbeenfloatinggallantlyoverhead——andbeholditwasonlyourflag。Theyneveraskedusforanyother。

　　WehavehadagreatmanyRussianandEnglishgentlemenandladiesonboardto—day，andthetimehaspassedcheerfullyaway。Theywereallhappy—spiritedpeople，andIneverheardourmothertonguesoundsopleasantlyasitdidwhenitfellfromthoseEnglishlipsinthisfar—offland。ItalkedtotheRussiansagooddeal，justtobefriendly，andtheytalkedtomefromthesamemotive;Iamsurethatbothenjoyedtheconversation，butneverawordofiteitherofusunderstood。IdidmostofmytalkingtothoseEnglishpeoplethough，andIamsorrywecannotcarrysomeofthemalongwithus。

　　Wehavegonewhithersoeverwechose，to—day，andhavemetwithnothingbutthekindestattentions。Nobodyinquiredwhetherwehadanypassportsornot。

　　SeveraloftheofficersoftheGovernmenthavesuggestedthatwetaketheshiptoalittlewatering—placethirtymilesfromhere，andpaytheEmperorofRussiaavisit。Heisrusticatingthere。Theseofficerssaidtheywouldtakeituponthemselvestoinsureusacordialreception。Theysaidifwewouldgo，theywouldnotonlytelegraphtheEmperor，butsendaspecialcourieroverlandtoannounceourcoming。Ourtimeissoshort，though，andmoreespeciallyourcoalissonearlyout，thatwejudgeditbesttoforegotherarepleasureofholdingsocialintercoursewithanEmperor。

　　RuinedPompeiiisingoodconditioncomparedtoSebastopol。Here，youmaylookinwhatsoeverdirectionyouplease，andyoureyeencountersscarcelyanythingbutruin，ruin，ruin！——fragmentsofhouses，crumbledwalls，tornandraggedhills，devastationeverywhere！Itisasifamightyearthquakehadspentallitsterribleforcesuponthisonelittlespot。Foreighteenlongmonthsthestormsofwarbeatuponthehelplesstown，andleftitatlastthesaddestwreckthateverthesunhaslookedupon。Notonesolitaryhouseescapedunscathed——notoneremainedhabitable，even。Suchutterandcompleteruinonecouldhardlyconceiveof。Thehouseshadallbeensolid，dressedstonestructures;mostofthemwereploughedthroughandthroughbycannonballs——unroofedandsliceddownfromeavestofoundation——andnowarowofthem，halfamilelong，looksmerelylikeanendlessprocessionofbatteredchimneys。Nosemblanceofahouseremainsinsuchasthese。

　　Someofthelargerbuildingshadcornersknockedoff;pillarscutintwo;

　　cornicessmashed;holesdrivenstraightthroughthewalls。Manyoftheseholesareasroundandascleanlycutasiftheyhadbeenmadewithanauger。Othersarehalfpiercedthrough，andthecleanimpressionisthereintherock，assmoothandasshapelyasifitweredoneinputty。Hereandthereaballstillsticksinawall，andfromitirontearstrickledownanddiscolorthestone。

　　Thebattle—fieldswereprettyclosetogether。TheMalakofftowerisonahillwhichisrightintheedgeofthetown。TheRedanwaswithinrifle—shotoftheMalakoff;Inkermanwasamileaway;andBalaklavaremovedbutanhour\'sride。TheFrenchtrenches，bywhichtheyapproachedandinvestedtheMalakoffwerecarriedsocloseunderitsslopingsidesthatonemighthavestoodbytheRussiangunsandtossedastoneintothem。Repeatedly，duringthreeterribledays，theyswarmedupthelittleMalakoffhill，andwerebeatenbackwithterribleslaughter。Finally，theycapturedtheplace，anddrovetheRussiansout，whothentriedtoretreatintothetown，buttheEnglishhadtakentheRedan，andshutthemoffwithawallofflame;

　　therewasnothingforthemtodobutgobackandretaketheMalakoffordieunderitsguns。Theydidgoback;theytooktheMalakoffandretookittwoorthreetimes，buttheirdesperatevalorcouldnotavail，andtheyhadtogiveupatlast。

　　Thesefearfulfields，wheresuchtempestsofdeathusedtorage，arepeacefulenoughnow;nosoundisheard，hardlyalivingthingmovesaboutthem，theyarelonelyandsilent——theirdesolationiscomplete。

　　Therewasnothingelsetodo，andsoeverybodywenttohuntingrelics。

　　Theyhavestockedtheshipwiththem。TheybroughtthemfromtheMalakoff，fromtheRedan，Inkerman，Balaklava——everywhere。Theyhavebroughtcannonballs，brokenramrods，fragmentsofshell——ironenoughtofreightasloop。

　　Somehaveevenbroughtbones——broughtthemlaboriouslyfromgreatdistances，andweregrievedtohearthesurgeonpronouncethemonlybonesofmulesandoxen。IknewBlucherwouldnotloseanopportunitylikethis。Hebroughtasackfullonboardandwasgoingforanother。Iprevaileduponhimnottogo。Hehasalreadyturnedhisstate—roomintoamuseumofworthlesstrumpery，whichhehasgatheredupinhistravels。Heislabelinghistrophies，now。Ipickeduponeawhileago，andfounditmarked\"FragmentofaRussianGeneral。\"Icarrieditouttogetabetterlightuponit——itwasnothingbutacoupleofteethandpartofthejaw—boneofahorse。Isaidwithsomeasperity:

　　\"FragmentofaRussianGeneral！Thisisabsurd。Areyounevergoingtolearnanysense？\"

　　Heonlysaid:\"Goslow——theoldwomanwon\'tknowanydifferent。\"[Hisaunt。]

　　Thispersongathersmementoeswithaperfectrecklessness，now—a—days;

　　mixesthemalluptogether，andthenserenelylabelsthemwithoutanyregardtotruth，propriety，orevenplausibility。Ihavefoundhimbreakingastoneintwo，andlabelinghalfofit\"ChunkbustedfromthepulpitofDemosthenes，\"andtheotherhalf\"DarnickfromtheTombofAbelardandHeloise。\"Ihaveknownhimtogatherupahandfulofpebblesbytheroadside，andbringthemonboardshipandlabelthemascomingfromtwentycelebratedlocalitiesfivehundredmilesapart。Iremonstrateagainsttheseoutragesuponreasonandtruth，ofcourse，butitdoesnogood。Igetthesametranquil，unanswerablereplyeverytime:

　　\"Itdon\'tsignify——theoldwomanwon\'tknowanydifferent。\"

　　EversincewethreeorfourfortunateonesmadethemidnighttriptoAthens，ithasaffordedhimgenuinesatisfactiontogiveeverybodyintheshipapebblefromtheMars—hillwhereSt。Paulpreached。Hegotallthosepebblesontheseashore，abreasttheship，butprofessestohavegatheredthemfromoneofourparty。However，itisnotofanyuseformetoexposethedeception——itaffordshimpleasure，anddoesnoharmtoanybody。HesaysheneverexpectstorunoutofmementoesofSt。Paulaslongasheisinreachofasand—bank。Well，heisnoworsethanothers。

　　Inoticethatalltravelerssupplydeficienciesintheircollectionsinthesameway。IshallneverhaveanyconfidenceinsuchthingsagainwhileIlive。

　　Chapter36

　　Wehavegotsofareast，now——ahundredandfifty—fivedegreesoflongitudefromSanFrancisco——thatmywatchcannot\"keepthehang\"ofthetimeanymore。Ithasgrowndiscouraged，andstopped。Ithinkitdidawisething。

　　ThedifferenceintimebetweenSebastopolandthePacificcoastisenormous。

　　Whenitissixo\'clockinthemorninghere，itissomewhereaboutweekbeforelastinCalifornia。Weareexcusableforgettingalittletangledastotime。ThesedistractionsanddistressesaboutthetimehaveworriedmesomuchthatIwasafraidmymindwassomuchaffectedthatIneverwouldhaveanyappreciationoftimeagain;butwhenInoticedhowhandyIwasyetaboutcomprehendingwhenitwasdinner—time，ablessedtranquillitysettleddownuponme，andIamtorturedwithdoubtsandfearsnomore。

　　Odessaisabouttwentyhours\'runfromSebastopol，andisthemostnortherlyportintheBlackSea。Wecameheretogetcoal，principally。Thecityhasapopulationofonehundredandthirty—threethousand，andisgrowingfasterthananyothersmallcityoutofAmerica。Itisafreeport，andisthegreatgrainmartofthisparticularpartoftheworld。Itsroadsteadisfullofships。Engineersareatwork，now，turningtheopenroadsteadintoaspaciousartificialharbor。Itistobealmostinclosedbymassivestonepiers，oneofwhichwillextendintotheseaoverthreethousandfeetinastraightline。

　　IhavenotfeltsomuchathomeforalongtimeasIdidwhenI\'\'raisedthehill\"andstoodinOdessaforthefirsttime。ItlookedjustlikeanAmericancity;fine，broadstreets，andstraightaswell;lowhouses，（twoorthreestories，）wide，neat，andfreefromanyquaintnessofarchitecturalornamentation;locusttreesborderingthesidewalks（theycallthemacacias;）

　　astirring，business—lookaboutthestreetsandthestores;fastwalkers;

　　afamiliarnewlookaboutthehousesandeverything;yea，andadrivingandsmotheringcloudofdustthatwassolikeamessagefromourowndearnativelandthatwecouldhardlyrefrainfromsheddingafewgratefultearsandexecrationsintheoldtime—honoredAmericanway。Lookupthestreetordownthestreet，thiswayorthatway，wesawonlyAmerica！TherewasnotonethingtoremindusthatwewereinRussia。Wewalkedforsomelittledistance，revelinginthishomevision，andthenwecameuponachurchandahack—driver，andpresto！theillusionvanished！Thechurchhadaslender—spireddomethatroundedinwardatitsbase，andlookedlikeaturnipturnedupsidedown，andthehackmanseemedtobedressedinalongpetticoatwithoutanyhoops。Thesethingswereessentiallyforeign，andsowerethecarriages——buteverybodyknowsaboutthesethings，andthereisnooccasionformydescribingthem。

　　Wewereonlytostayhereadayandanightandtakeincoal;weconsultedtheguide—booksandwererejoicedtoknowthattherewerenosightsinOdessatosee;andsowehadonegood，untrammeledholydayonourhands，withnothingtodobutidleaboutthecityandenjoyourselves。Wesaunteredthroughthemarketsandcriticisedthefearfulandwonderfulcostumesfromthebackcountry;examinedthepopulaceasfaraseyescoulddoit;andclosedtheentertainmentwithanice—creamdebauch。Wedonotgetice—creameverywhere，andso，whenwedo，weareapttodissipatetoexcess。Wenevercaredanythingaboutice—creamathome，butwelookuponitwithasortofidolatrynowthatitissoscarceinthesered—hotclimatesoftheEast。

　　Weonlyfoundtwopiecesofstatuary，andthiswasanotherblessing。

　　OnewasabronzeimageoftheDucdeRichelieu，grand—nephewofthesplendidCardinal。Itstoodinaspacious，handsomepromenade，overlookingthesea，andfromitsbaseavastflightofstonestepsleddowntotheharbor——twohundredofthem，fiftyfeetlong，andawidelandingatthebottomofeverytwenty。Itisanoblestaircase，andfromadistancethepeopletoilingupitlookedlikeinsects。Imentionthisstatueandthisstairwaybecausetheyhavetheirstory。RichelieufoundedOdessa——watchedoveritwithpaternalcare——laboredwithafertilebrainandawiseunderstandingforitsbestinterests——spenthisfortunefreelytothesameend——endoweditwithasoundprosperity，andonewhichwillyetmakeitoneofthegreatcitiesoftheOldWorld——builtthisnoblestairwaywithmoneyfromhisownprivatepurse——and——。Well，thepeopleforwhomhehaddonesomuch，lethimwalkdownthesesamesteps，oneday，unattended，old，poor，withoutasecondcoattohisback;andwhen，yearsafterwards，hediedinSebastopolinpovertyandneglect，theycalledameeting，subscribedliberally，andimmediatelyerectedthistastefulmonumenttohismemory，andnamedagreatstreetafterhim。ItremindsmeofwhatRobertBurns\'mothersaidwhentheyerectedastatelymonumenttohismemory:\"Ah，Robbie，yeaskedthemforbreadandtheyhaegi\'enyeastane。\"

　　ThepeopleofOdessahavewarmlyrecommendedustogoandcallontheEmperor，asdidtheSebastopolians。TheyhavetelegraphedhisMajesty，andhehassignifiedhiswillingnesstograntusanaudience。Sowearegettinguptheanchorsandpreparingtosailtohiswatering—place。Whatascratchingaroundtherewillbe，now！whataholdingofimportantmeetingsandappointingofsolemncommittees！——andwhatafurbishingupofclaw—hammercoatsandwhitesilkneck—ties！Asthisfearfulordealweareabouttopassthroughpicturesitselftomyfancyinallitsdreadsublimity，I

　　begintofeelmyfiercedesiretoconversewithagenuineEmperorcoolingdownandpassingaway。WhatamItodowithmyhands？WhatamItodowithmyfeet？WhatintheworldamItodowithmyself？

　　Chapter37

　　WeanchoredhereatYalta，Russia，twoorthreedaysago。TometheplacewasavisionoftheSierras。Thetall，graymountainsthatbackit，theirsidesbristlingwithpines——clovenwithravines——hereandthereahoaryrocktoweringintoview——long，straightstreakssweepingdownfromthesummittothesea，markingthepassageofsomeavalancheofformertimes——allthesewereaslikewhatoneseesintheSierrasasiftheonewereaportraitoftheother。ThelittlevillageofYaltanestlesatthefootofanamphitheatrewhichslopesbackwardandupwardtothewallofhills，andlooksasifitmighthavesunkquietlydowntoitspresentpositionfromahigherelevation。Thisdepressioniscoveredwiththegreatparksandgardensofnoblemen，andthroughthemassofgreenfoliagethebrightcolorsoftheirpalacesbudouthereandtherelikeflowers。Itisabeautifulspot。

　　WehadtheUnitedStatesConsulonboard——theOdessaConsul。Weassembledinthecabinandcommandedhimtotelluswhatwemustdotobesaved，andtellusquickly。Hemadeaspeech。Thefirstthinghesaidfelllikeablightoneveryhopefulspirit:hehadneverseenacourtreception。

　　（ThreegroansfortheConsul。）ButhesaidhehadseenreceptionsattheGovernor­General\'sinOdessa，andhadoftenlistenedtopeople\'sexperiencesofreceptionsattheRussianandothercourts，andbelievedheknewverywellwhatsortofordealwewereabouttoessay。（Hopebuddedagain。）Hesaidweweremany;thesummer­palacewassmall——ameremansion;doubtlessweshouldbereceivedinsummerfashion——inthegarden;wewouldstandinarow，allthegentlemeninswallow­tailcoats，whitekids，andwhiteneck­ties，andtheladiesinlight­coloredsilks，orsomethingofthatkind;atthepropermoment——12meridian——theEmperor，attendedbyhissuitearrayedinsplendiduniforms，wouldappearandwalkslowlyalongtheline，bowingtosome，andsayingtwoorthreewordstoothers。

　　AtthemomenthisMajestyappeared，auniversal，delighted，enthusiasticsmileoughttobreakoutlikearashamongthepassengers——asmileoflove，ofgratification，ofadmiration——andwithoneaccord，thepartymustbegintobow——notobsequiously，butrespectfully，andwithdignity;attheendoffifteenminutestheEmperorwouldgointhehouse，andwecouldrunalonghomeagain。Wefeltimmenselyrelieved。Itseemed，inamanner，easy。

　　Therewasnotamaninthepartybutbelievedthatwithalittlepracticehecouldstandinarow，especiallyiftherewereothersalong;therewasnotamanbutbelievedhecouldbowwithouttrippingonhiscoattailandbreakinghisneck;inaword，wecametobelievewewereequaltoanyitemintheperformanceexceptthatcomplicatedsmile。TheConsulalsosaidweoughttodraftalittleaddresstotheEmperor，andpresentittooneofhisaides­de­camp，whowouldforwardittohimatthepropertime。Therefore，fivegentlemenwereappointedtopreparethedocument，andthefiftyotherswentsadlysmilingabouttheship——practicing。Duringthenexttwelvehourswehadthegeneralappearance，somehow，ofbeingatafuneral，whereeverybodywassorrythedeathhadoccurred，butgladitwasover——whereeverybodywassmiling，andyetbroken—hearted。

　　AcommitteewentashoretowaitonhisExcellencytheGovernor­General，andlearnourfate。Attheendofthreehoursofbodingsuspense，theycamebackandsaidtheEmperorwouldreceiveusatnoonthenextday——wouldsendcarriagesforus——wouldheartheaddressinperson。TheGrandDukeMichaelhadsenttoinviteustohispalacealso。AnymancouldseethattherewasanintentionheretoshowthatRussia\'sfriendshipforAmericawassogenuineastorenderevenherprivatecitizensobjectsworthyofkindlyattentions。

　　Attheappointedhourwedroveoutthreemiles，andassembledinthehandsomegardeninfrontoftheEmperor\'spalace。

　　Weformedacircleunderthetreesbeforethedoor，fortherewasnooneroominthehouseabletoaccommodateourthree。scorepersonscomfortably，andinafewminutestheimperialfamilycameoutbowingandsmiling，andstoodinourmidst。AnumberofgreatdignitariesoftheEmpire，inundressunitforms，camewiththem。Witheverybow，hisMajestysaidawordofwelcome。Icopythesespeeches。Thereischaracterinthem——Russiancharacter——whichispolitenessitself，andthegenuinearticle。TheFrencharepolite，butitisoftenmereceremoniouspoliteness。ARussianimbueshispolitethingswithaheartiness，bothofphraseandexpression，thatcompelsbeliefintheirsincerity。AsIwassaying，theCzarpunctuatedhisspeecheswithbows:

　　\"Goodmorning——Iamgladtoseeyou——Iamgratified——Iamdelighted——I

　　amhappytoreceiveyou！\"

　　Alltookofftheirhats，andtheConsulinflictedtheaddressonhim。

　　Heboreitwithunflinchingfortitude;thentooktherusty­lookingdocumentandhandedittosomegreatofficerorother，tobefiledawayamongthearchivesofRussia——inthestove。Hethankedusfortheaddress，andsaidhewasverymuchpleasedtoseeus，especiallyassuchfriendlyrelationsexistedbetweenRussiaandtheUnitedStates。TheEmpresssaidtheAmericanswerefavoritesinRussia，andshehopedtheRussiansweresimilarlyregardedinAmerica。Thesewereallthespeechesthatweremade，andIrecommendthemtopartieswhopresentpolicemenwithgoldwatches，asmodelsofbrevityandpoint。AfterthistheEmpresswentandtalkedsociably（foranEmpress）withvariousladiesaroundthecircle;severalgentlemenenteredintoadisjointedgeneralconversationwiththeEmperor;

　　theDukesandPrinces，AdmiralsandMaidsofHonordroppedintofree—and­easychatwithfirstoneandthenanotherofourparty，andwhoeverchosesteppedforwardandspokewiththemodestlittleGrandDuchessMarie，theCzar\'sdaughter。Sheisfourteenyearsold，light­haired，blue­eyed，unassumingandpretty。EverybodytalksEnglish。

　　TheEmperorworeacap，frockcoatandpantaloons，allofsomekindofplainwhitedrilling——cottonorlinen~andsportednojewelryoranyinsigniawhateverofrank。Nocostumecouldbelessostentatious。Heisverytallandspare，andadetermined­lookingman，thoughaverypleasant­lookingonenevertheless。ItiseasytoseethatheiskindandaffectionateThereissomethingverynobleinhisexpressionwhenhiscapisoff。ThereisnoneofthatcunninginhiseyethatallofusnoticedinLouisNapoleon\'s。

　　TheEmpressandthelittleGrandDuchessworesimplesuitsoffoulard（orfoulardsilk，Idon\'tknowwhichisproper，）withasmallbluespotinit;thedressesweretrimmedwithblue;bothladiesworebroadbluesashesabouttheirwaists;linencollarsandclericaltiesofmuslin;low­crownedstraw­hatstrimmedwithbluevelvet;parasolsandflesh­coloredglovesTheGrandDuchesshadnoheelsonhershoes。Idonotknowthisofmyownknowledge，butoneofourladiestoldmeso。Iwasnotlookingathershoes。Iwasgladtoobservethatsheworeherownhair，plaitedinthickbraidsagainstthebackofherhead，insteadoftheuncomelythingtheycallawaterfall，whichisaboutasmuchlikeawaterfallasacanvas­coveredhamisLikeacataract。TakingthekindexpressionthatisintheEmperor\'sfaceandthegentlenessthatisinhisyoungdaughter\'sintoconsideration，IwonderedifitwouldnottaxtheCzar\'sfirmnesstotheutmosttocondemnasupplicatingwretchtomiseryinthewastesofSiberiaifshepleadedforhim。Everytimetheireyesmet，Isawmoreandmorewhatatremendouspowerthatweak，diffidentschool­girlcouldwieldifshechosetodoit。ManyandmanyatimeshemightruletheAutocratofRussia，whoselightestwordislawtoseventymillionsofhumanbeingsShewasonlyagirl，andshelookedlikeathousandothersIhaveseen，butneveragirlprovokedsuchanovelandpeculiarinterestinmebefore。Astrange，newsensationisararethinginthishum­drumlife，andIhadithere。

　　Therewasnothingstaleorwornoutaboutthethoughtsandfeelingsthesituationandthecircumstancescreated。Itseemedstrange——strangerthanIcantell——tothinkthatthecentralfigureintheclusterofmenandwomen，chattinghereunderthetreeslikethemostordinaryindividualintheland，wasamanwhocouldopenhislipsandshipswouldflythroughthewaves，locomotiveswouldspeedovertheplains，courierswouldhurryfromvillagetovillage，ahundredtelegraphswouldflashthewordtothefourcornersofanEmpirethatstretchesitsvastproportionsoveraseventhpartofthehabitableglobe，andacountlessmultitudeofmenwouldspringtodohisbidding。Ihadasortofvaguedesiretoexaminehishandsandseeiftheywereoffleshandblood，likeothermen\'s。Herewasamanwhocoulddothiswonderfulthing，andyetifIchoseIcouldknockhimdown。

　　Thecasewasplain，butitseemedpreposterous，nevertheless——aspreposterousastryingtoknockdownamountainorwipeoutacontinent。Ifthismansprainedhisankle，amillionmilesoftelegraphwouldcarrythenewsovermountains——valleys——uninhabiteddeserts——underthetracklesssea——andtenthousandnewspaperswouldprateofit;ifheweregrievouslyill，allthenationswouldknowitbeforethesunroseagain;ifhedroppedlifelesswherehestood，hisfallmightshakethethronesofhalfaworld！IfI

　　couldhavestolenhiscoat，Iwouldhavedoneit。WhenImeetamanlikethat，Iwantsomethingtorememberhimby。

　　Asageneralthing，wehavebeenshownthroughpalacesbysomeplush­leggedfilagreedflunkeyorother，whochargedafrancforit;butaftertalkingwiththecompanyhalfanhour，theEmperorofRussiaandhisfamilyconductedusallthroughtheirmansionthemselves。Theymadenocharge。Theyseemedtotakearealpleasureinit。

　　Wespenthalfanhouridlingthroughthepalace，admiringthecosyapartmentsandtherichbuteminentlyhome­likeappointmentsoftheplace，andthentheImperialfamilybadeourpartyakindgood­bye，andproceededtocountthespoons。

　　Aninvitationwasextendedtoustovisitthepalaceoftheeldestson，theCrownPrinceofRussia，whichwasnearathand。Theyoungmanwasabsent，buttheDukesandCountessesandPrinceswentoverthepremiseswithusasleisurelyaswasthecaseattheEmperor\'s，andconversationcontinuedaslivelyasever。

　　Itwasalittleafteroneo\'clock，now。WedrovetotheGrandDukeMichael\'s，amileaway，inresponsetohisinvitation，previouslygiven。