Iwastoomuchflatteredtomakeanexposureandthrowthemerchandiseontheangel\'shands。Iwashot，vexed，confused，butstillhappy;butIhatedtheotherboysfortakingsuchanabsorbinginterestintheproceedings。
IwishedtheywereinJericho。IfeltexquisitelymeanwhenIsaidcheerfully:
\"Thisonedoesverywell;itfitselegantly。Ilikeaglovethatfits。
No，nevermind，ma\'am，nevermind;I\'llputtheotheroninthestreet。
Itiswarmhere。\"
Itwaswarm。ItwasthewarmestplaceIeverwasin。Ipaidthebill，andasIpassedoutwithafascinatingbowIthoughtIdetectedalightinthewoman\'seyethatwasgentlyironical;andwhenIlookedbackfromthestreet，andshewaslaughingalltoherselfaboutsomethingorother，Isaidtomyselfwithwitheringsarcasm，\"Oh，certainly;youknowhowtoputonkidgloves，don\'tyou？Aself—complacentass，readytobeflatteredoutofyoursensesbyeverypetticoatthatchoosestotakethetroubletodoit！\"
Thesilenceoftheboysannoyedme。FinallyDansaidmusingly:
\"Somegentlemendon\'tknowhowtoputonkidglovesatall，butsomedo。\"
Andthedoctorsaid（tothemoon，Ithought）:
\"Butitisalwayseasytotellwhenagentlemanisusedtoputtingonkidgloves。\"
Dansoliloquizedafterapause:
\"Ah，yes;thereisagraceaboutitthatonlycomeswithlong，verylongpractice。\"
\"Yes，indeed，I\'venoticedthatwhenamanhaulsonakidglovelikehewasdraggingacatoutofanashholebythetail，heunderstandsputtingonkidgloves;he\'shadex————\"
\"Boys，enoughofathing\'senough！Youthinkyouareverysmart，Isuppose，butIdon\'t。Andifyougoandtellanyofthoseoldgossipsintheshipaboutthisthing，I\'llneverforgiveyouforit;that\'sall。\"
Theyletmealonethenforthetimebeing。Wealwaysleteachotheraloneintimetopreventillfeelingfromspoilingajoke。Buttheyhadboughtgloves，too，asIdid。Wethrewallthepurchasesawaytogetherthismorning。Theywerecoarse，unsubstantial，freckledalloverwithbroadyellowsplotches，andcouldneitherstandwearnorpublicexhibition。Wehadentertainedanangelunawares，butwedidnottakeherin。Shedidthatforus。
Tangier！AtribeofstalwartMoorsarewadingintotheseatocarryusashoreontheirbacksfromthesmallboats。
Chapter8
Thisisroyal！LetthosewhowentupthroughSpainmakethebestofit——thesedominionsoftheEmperorofMoroccosuitourlittlepartywellenough。WehavehadenoughofSpainatGibraltarforthepresent。Tangieristhespotwehavebeenlongingforallthetime。Elsewherewehavefoundforeign—lookingthingsandforeign—lookingpeople，butalwayswiththingsandpeopleintermixedthatwewerefamiliarwithbefore，andsothenoveltyofthesituationlostadealofitsforce。Wewantedsomethingthoroughlyanduncompromisinglyforeign——foreignfromtoptobottom——foreignfromcentertocircumference——foreigninsideandoutsideandallaround——nothinganywhereaboutittodiluteitsforeignness——nothingtoremindusofanyotherpeopleoranyotherlandunderthesun。Andlo！InTangierwehavefoundit。Hereisnottheslightestthingthateverwehaveseensaveinpictures——andwealwaysmistrustedthepicturesbefore。Wecannotanymore。
Thepicturesusedtoseemexaggerations——theyseemedtooweirdandfancifulforreality。Butbehold，theywerenotwildenough——theywerenotfancifulenough——theyhavenottoldhalfthestory。Tangierisaforeignlandifevertherewasone，andthetruespiritofitcanneverbefoundinanybooksaveTheArabianNights。Herearenowhitemenvisible，yetswarmsofhumanityareallaboutus。Hereisapackedandjammedcityenclosedinamassivestonewallwhichismorethanathousandyearsold。Allthehousesnearlyareone—andtwo—story，madeofthickwallsofstone，plasteredoutside，squareasadry。goodsbox，flatasafloorontop，nocornices，whitewashedallover——acrowdedcityofsnowytombs！AndthedoorsarearchedwiththepeculiararchweseeinMoorishpictures;thefloorsarelaidinvaricoloreddiamondflags;intessellated，many—coloredporcelainsquareswroughtinthefurnacesofFez;inredtilesandbroadbricksthattimecannotwear;thereisnofurnitureintherooms（ofJewishdwellings）
savedivans——whatthereisinMoorishonesnomanmayknow;withintheirsacredwallsnoChristiandogcanenter。Andthestreetsareoriental——someofthemthreefeetwide，somesix，butonlytwothatareoveradozen;
amancanblockadethemostofthembyextendinghisbodyacrossthem。
Isn\'titanorientalpicture？
TherearestalwartBedouinsofthedeserthere，andstatelyMoorsproudofahistorythatgoesbacktothenightoftime;andJewswhosefathersfledhithercenturiesuponcenturiesago;andswarthyRiffiansfromthemountains——borncutthroats——andoriginal，genuineNegroesasblackasMoses;
andhowlingdervishesandahundredbreedsofArabs——ansortsanddescriptionsofpeoplethatareforeignandcurioustolookupon。
Andtheirdressesarestrangebeyondalldescription。HereisabronzedMoorinaprodigiouswhiteturban，curiouslyembroideredjacket，goldandcrimsonsash，ofmanyfolds，wrappedroundandroundhiswaist，trousersthatonlycomealittlebelowhiskneeandyethavetwentyyardsofstuffinthem，ornamentedscimitar，bareshins，stockinglessfeet，yellowslippers，andgunofpreposterouslength——ameresoldier！——IthoughthewastheEmperoratleast。AndhereareagedMoorswithflowingwhitebeardsandlongwhiterobeswithvastcowls;andBedouinswithlong，cowled，stripedcloaks;
andNegroesandRiffianswithheadsclean—shavenexceptakinkyscalplockbackoftheearor，rather，upontheaftercorneroftheskull;andallsortsofbarbariansinallsortsofweirdcostumes，andallmoreorlessragged。AndhereareMoorishwomenwhoareenvelopedfromheadtofootincoarsewhiterobes，andwhosesexcanonlybedeterminedbythefactthattheyonlyleaveoneeyevisibleandneverlookatmenoftheirownrace，orarelookedatbytheminpublic。HerearefivethousandJewsinbluegabardines，sashesabouttheirwaists，slippersupontheirfeet，littleskullcapsuponthebacksoftheirheads，haircombeddownontheforehead，andcutstraightacrossthemiddleofitfromsidetoside——theselfsamefashiontheirTangierancestorshavewornforIdon\'tknowhowmanybewilderingcenturies。Theirfeetandanklesarebare。Theirnosesareallhooked，andhookedalike。Theyallresembleeachothersomuchthatonecouldalmostbelievetheywereofonefamily。Theirwomenareplumpandpretty，anddosmileuponaChristianinawaywhichisinthelastdegreecomforting。
Whatafunnyoldtownitis！Itseemslikeprofanationtolaughandjestandbandythefrivolouschatofourdayamiditshoaryrelics。OnlythestatelyphraseologyandthemeasuredspeechofthesonsoftheProphetaresuitedtoavenerableantiquitylikethis。HereisacrumblingwallthatwasoldwhenColumbusdiscoveredAmerica;wasoldwhenPetertheHermitrousedtheknightlymenoftheMiddleAgestoarmforthefirstCrusade;
wasoldwhenCharlemagneandhispaladinsbeleagueredenchantedcastlesandbattledwithgiantsandgeniiinthefableddaysoftheoldentime;
wasoldwhenChristandhisdiscipleswalkedtheearth;stoodwhereitstandstodaywhenthelipsofMemnonwerevocalandmenboughtandsoldinthestreetsofancientThebes！
ThePhoenicians，theCarthagenians，theEnglish，Moors，Romans，allhavebattledforTangier——allhavewonitandlostit。Hereisaragged，oriental—lookingNegrofromsomedesertplaceininteriorAfrica，fillinghisgoatskinwithwaterfromastainedandbatteredfountainbuiltbytheRomanstwelvehundredyearsago。YonderisaruinedarchofabridgebuiltbyJuliusCaesarnineteenhundredyearsago。MenwhohadseentheinfantSaviourintheVirgin\'sarmshavestooduponit，maybe。
NearitaretheruinsofadockyardwhereCaesarrepairedhisshipsandloadedthemwithgrainwhenheinvadedBritain，fiftyyearsbeforetheChristianera。
Here，underthequietstars，theseoldstreetsseemthrongedwiththephantomsofforgottenages。MyeyesarerestinguponaspotwherestoodamonumentwhichwasseenanddescribedbyRomanhistorianslessthantwothousandyearsago，whereonwasinscribed:WEARETHECANAANITES。WEARETHEYTHATHAVEBEENDRIVENOUT
OFTHELANDOFCANAANBYTHEJEWISHROBBER，JOSHUA。Joshuadrovethemout，andtheycamehere。NotmanyleaguesfromhereisatribeofJewswhoseancestorsfledthitherafteranunsuccessfulrevoltagainstKingDavid，andthesetheirdescendantsarestillunderabanandkeeptothemselves。
Tangierhasbeenmentionedinhistoryforthreethousandyears。Anditwasatown，thoughaqueerone，whenHercules，cladinhislionskin，landedhere，fourthousandyearsago。InthesestreetshemetAnitus，thekingofthecountry，andbrainedhimwithhisclub，whichwasthefashionamonggentlemeninthosedays。ThepeopleofTangier（calledTingisthen）
livedintherudestpossiblehutsanddressedinskinsandcarriedclubs，andwereassavageasthewildbeaststheywereconstantlyobligedtowarwith。Buttheywereagentlemanlyraceanddidnowork。Theylivedonthenaturalproductsoftheland。Theirking\'scountryresidencewasatthefamousGardenofHesperides，seventymilesdown\'thecoastfromhere。
Thegarden，withitsgoldenapples（oranges），isgonenow——novestigeofitremains。AntiquariansconcedethatsuchapersonageasHerculesdidexistinancienttimesandagreethathewasanenterprisingandenergeticman，butdeclinetobelievehimagood，bona—fidegod，becausethatwouldbeunconstitutional。
DownhereatCapeSpartelisthecelebratedcaveofHercules，wherethatherotookrefugewhenhewasvanquishedanddrivenoutoftheTangiercountry。Itisfullofinscriptionsinthedeadlanguages，whichfactmakesmethinkHerculescouldnothavetraveledmuch，elsehewouldnothavekeptajournal。
Fivedays\'journeyfromhere——saytwohundredmiles——aretheruinsofanancientcity，ofwhosehistorythereisneitherrecordnortradition。
Andyetitsarches，itscolumns，anditsstatuesproclaimittohavebeenbuiltbyanenlightenedrace。
ThegeneralsizeofastoreinTangierisaboutthatofanordinaryshowerbathinacivilizedland。TheMuhammadanmerchant，tinman，shoemaker，orvendoroftriflessitscross—leggedonthefloorandreachesafteranyarticleyoumaywanttobuy。Youcanrentawholeblockofthesepigeonholesforfiftydollarsamonth。Themarketpeoplecrowdthemarketplacewiththeirbasketsoffigs，dates，melons，apricots，etc。，andamongthemfiletrainsofladenasses，notmuchlarger，ifany，thanaNewfoundlanddog。
Thesceneislively，ispicturesque，andsmellslikeapolicecourt。TheJewishmoney—changershavetheirdenscloseathand，andalldaylongarecountingbronzecoinsandtransferringthemfromonebushelbaskettoanother。
Theydon\'tcoinmuchmoneynowadays，Ithink。Isawnonebutwhatwasdatedfourorfivehundredyearsback，andwasbadlywornandbattered。Thesecoinsarenotveryvaluable。Jackwentouttogetanapoleonchanged，soastohavemoneysuitedtothegeneralcheapnessofthings，andcamebackandsaidhebad\"swampedthebank，hadboughtelevenquartsofcoin，andtheheadofthefirmhadgoneonthestreettonegotiateforthebalanceofthechange。\"Iboughtnearlyhalfapintoftheirmoneyforashillingmyself。Iamnotproudonaccountofhavingsomuchmoney，though。Icarenothingforwealth。
TheMoorshavesomesmallsilvercoinsandalsosomesilverslugsworthadollareach。Thelatterareexceedinglyscarce——somuchsothatwhenpoorraggedArabsseeonetheybegtobeallowedtokissit。
Theyhavealsoasmallgoldcoinworthtwodollars。Andthatremindsmeofsomething。WhenMoroccoisinastateofwar，Arabcourierscarrylettersthroughthecountryandchargealiberalpostage。Everynowandthentheyfallintothehandsofmaraudingbandsandgetrobbed。Therefore，warnedbyexperience，assoonastheyhavecollectedtwodollars\'worthofmoneytheyexchangeitforoneofthoselittlegoldpieces，andwhenrobberscomeuponthem，swallowit。Thestratagemwasgoodwhileitwasunsuspected，butafterthatthemarauderssimplygavethesagaciousUnitedStatesmailanemeticandsatdowntowait。
TheEmperorofMoroccoisasoullessdespot，andthegreatofficersunderhimaredespotsonasmallerscale。Thereisnoregularsystemoftaxation，butwhentheEmperorortheBashawwantmoney，theylevyonsomerichman，andhehastofurnishthecashorgotoprison。Therefore，fewmeninMoroccodaretoberich。Itistoodangerousaluxury。Vanityoccasionallyleadsamantodisplaywealth，butsoonerorlatertheEmperortrumpsupachargeagainsthim——anysortofonewilldo——andconfiscateshisproperty。
Ofcourse，therearemanyrichmenintheempire，buttheirmoneyisburied，andtheydressinragsandcounterfeitpoverty。EverynowandthentheEmperorimprisonsamanwhoissuspectedofthecrimeofbeingrich，andmakesthingssouncomfortableforhimthatheisforcedtodiscoverwherehehashiddenhismoney。
MoorsandJewssometimesplacethemselvesundertheprotectionoftheforeignconsuls，andthentheycanflouttheirrichesintheEmperor\'sfacewithimpunity。
Chapter9
Aboutthefirstadventurewehadyesterdayafternoon，afterlandinghere，camenearfinishingthatheedlessBlucher。Wehadjustmountedsomemulesandassesandstartedoutundertheguardianshipofthestately，theprincely，themagnificentHadjiMuhammadLamarty（mayhistribeincrease！）
whenwecameuponafineMoorishmosque，withtalltower，richwithcheckerworkofmany—coloredporcelain，andeverypartandportionoftheedificeadornedwiththequaintarchitectureoftheAlhambra，andBlucherstartedtorideintotheopendoorway。Astartling\"Hi—hi！\"fromourcampfollowersandaloud\"Halt！\"fromanEnglishgentlemaninthepartycheckedtheadventurer，andthenwewereinformedthatsodireaprofanationisitforaChristiandogtosetfootuponthesacredthresholdofaMoorishmosquethatnoamountofpurificationcanevermakeitfitforthefaithfultoprayinagain。
HadBluchersucceededinenteringtheplace，hewouldnodoubthavebeenchasedthroughthetownandstoned;andthetimehasbeen，andnotmanyyearsago，either，whenaChristianwouldhavebeenmostruthlesslyslaughteredifcapturedinamosque。Wecaughtaglimpseofthehandsometessellatedpavementswithinandofthedevoteesperformingtheirablutionsatthefountains，buteventhatwetookthatglimpsewasathingnotrelishedbytheMoorishbystanders。
Someyearsagotheclockinthetowerofthemosquegotoutoforder。
TheMoorsofTangierhavesodegeneratedthatithasbeenlongsincetherewasanartificeramongthemcapableofcuringsodelicateapatientasadebilitatedclock。Thegreatmenofthecitymetinsolemnconclavetoconsiderhowthedifficultywastobemet。Theydiscussedthematterthoroughlybutarrivedatnosolution。Finally，apatriarcharoseandsaid:
\"Oh，childrenoftheProphet，itisknownuntoyouthataPortugueedogofaChristianclockmenderpollutesthecityofTangierwithhispresence。
Yeknow，also，thatwhenmosquesarebuilded，assesbearthestonesandthecement，andcrossthesacredthreshold。Now，therefore，sendtheChristiandogonallfours，andbarefoot，intotheholyplacetomendtheclock，andlethimgoasanass！\"
Andinthatwayitwasdone。Therefore，ifBluchereverseestheinsideofamosque，hewillhavetocastasidehishumanityandgoinhisnaturalcharacter。WevisitedthejailandfoundMoorishprisonersmakingmatsandbaskets。（Thisthingofutilizingcrimesavorsofcivilization。）Murderispunishedwithdeath。Ashorttimeagothreemurderersweretakenbeyondthecitywallsandshot。Moorishgunsarenotgood，andneitherareMoorishmarksmen。Inthisinstancetheysetupthepoorcriminalsatlongrange，likesomanytargets，andpracticedonthem——keptthemhoppingaboutanddodgingbulletsforhalfanhourbeforetheymanagedtodrivethecenter。
Whenamanstealscattle，theycutoffhisrighthandandleftlegandnailthemupinthemarketplaceasawarningtoeverybody。Theirsurgeryisnotartistic。Theyslicearoundthebonealittle，thenbreakoffthelimb。Sometimesthepatientgetswell;but，asageneralthing，hedon\'t。
However，theMoorishheartisstout。TheMoorswerealwaysbrave。Thesecriminalsundergothefearfuloperationwithoutawince，withoutatremorofanykind，withoutagroan！NoamountofsufferingcanbringdowntheprideofaMoorormakehimshamehisdignitywithacry。
Here，marriageiscontractedbytheparentsofthepartiestoit。Therearenovalentines，nostoleninterviews，noridingout，nocourtingindimparlors，nolovers\'quarrelsandreconciliations——nonothingthatispropertoapproachingmatrimony。Theyoungmantakesthegirlhisfatherselectsforhim，marriesher，andafterthatsheisunveiled，andheseesherforthefirsttime。Ifafterdueacquaintanceshesuitshim，heretainsher;butifhesuspectsherpurity，hebundlesherbacktoherfather;
ifhefindsherdiseased，thesame;orif，afterjustandreasonabletimeisallowedher，sheneglectstobearchildren，backshegoestothehomeofherchildhood。
Muhammadansherewhocanafforditkeepagoodmanywivesonhand。Theyarecalledwives，thoughIbelievetheKoranonlyallowsfourgenuinewives——therestareconcubines。TheEmperorofMoroccodon\'tknowhowmanywiveshehas，butthinkshehasfivehundred。However，thatisnearenough——adozenorso，onewayortheother，don\'tmatter。
EventheJewsintheinteriorhaveapluralityofwives。
IhavecaughtaglimpseofthefacesofseveralMoorishwomen（fortheyareonlyhuman，andwillexposetheirfacesfortheadmirationofaChristiandogwhennomaleMoorisby），andIamfullofvenerationforthewisdomthatleadsthemtocoverupsuchatrociousugliness。
Theycarrytheirchildrenattheirbacks，inasack，likeothersavagestheworldover。
ManyoftheNegroesareheldinslaverybytheMoors。Butthemomentafemaleslavebecomeshermaster\'sconcubineherbondsarebroken，andassoonasamaleslavecanreadthefirstchapteroftheKoran（whichcontainsthecreed）hecannolongerbeheldinbondage。
TheyhavethreeSundaysaweekinTangier。TheMuhammadans\'comesonFriday，theJews\'onSaturday，andthatoftheChristianConsulsonSunday。
TheJewsarethemostradical。TheMoorgoestohismosqueaboutnoononhisSabbath，asonanyotherday，removeshisshoesatthedoor，performshisablutions，makeshissalaams，pressinghisforeheadtothepavementtimeandagain，sayshisprayers，andgoesbacktohiswork。
ButtheJewshutsupshop;willnottouchcopperorbronzemoneyatall;soilshisfingerswithnothingmeanerthansilverandgold;attendsthesynagoguedevoutly;willnotcookorhaveanythingtodowithfire;
andreligiouslyrefrainsfromembarkinginanyenterprise。
TheMoorwhohasmadeapilgrimagetoMeccaisentitledtohighdistinction。
MencallhimHadji，andheisthenceforwardagreatpersonage。HundredsofMoorscometoTangiereveryyearandembarkforMecca。TheygopartofthewayinEnglishsteamers，andthetenortwelvedollarstheypayforpassageisaboutallthetripcosts。Theytakewiththemaquantityoffood，andwhenthecommissarydepartmentfailsthey\"skirmish，\"asJacktermsitinhissinful，slangyway。Fromthetimetheyleavetilltheygethomeagain。，theyneverwash，eitheronlandorsea。Theyareusuallygonefromfivetosevenmonths，andastheydonotchangetheirclothesduringallthattime，theyaretotallyunfitforthedrawingroomwhentheygetback。
Manyofthemhavetorakeandscrapealongtimetogathertogetherthetendollarstheirsteamerpassagecosts，andwhenoneofthemgetsbackbeisabankruptforeverafter。FewMoorscaneverbuilduptheirfortunesagaininoneshortlifetimeaftersorecklessanoutlay。InordertoconfinethedignityofHadjitogentlemenofpatricianbloodandpossessions，theEmperordecreedthatnomanshouldmakethepilgrimagesavebloatedaristocratswhowereworthahundreddollarsinspecie。Butbeholdhowiniquitycancircumventthelaw！Foraconsideration，theJewishmoneychangerlendsthepilgrimonehundreddollarslongenoughforhimtoswearhimselfthrough，andthenreceivesitbackbeforetheshipsailsoutoftheharbor！
SpainistheonlynationtheMoorsfear。ThereasonisthatSpainsendsherheaviestshipsofwarandherloudestgunstoastonishtheseMuslims，whileAmericaandothernationssendonlyalittlecontemptibletubofagunboatoccasionally。TheMoors，likeothersavages，learnbywhattheysee，notwhattheyhearorread。WehavegreatfleetsintheMediterranean，buttheyseldomtouchatAfricanports。TheMoorshaveasmallopinionofEngland，France，andAmerica，andputtheirrepresentativestoadealofred—tapecircumlocutionbeforetheygrantthemtheircommonrights，letaloneafavor。ButthemomenttheSpanishministermakesademand，itisaccededtoatonce，whetheritbejustornot。
SpainchastisedtheMoorsfiveorsixyearsago，aboutadisputedpieceofpropertyoppositeGibraltar，andcapturedthecityofTetuán。
Shecompromisedonanaugmentationofherterritory，twentymilliondollars\'
indemnityinmoney，andpeace。Andthenshegaveupthecity。ButshenevergaveitupuntiltheSpanishsoldiershadeatenupallthecats。Theywouldnotcompromiseaslongasthecatsheldout。Spaniardsareveryfondofcats。Onthecontrary，theMoorsreverencecatsassomethingsacred。SotheSpaniardstouchedthemonatenderpointthattime。TheirunfelineconductineatingupalltheTetuáncatsarousedahatredtowardtheminthebreastsoftheMoors，towhicheventhedrivingthemoutofSpainwastameandpassionless。MoorsandSpaniardsarefoesforevernow。
Francehadaministerhereoncewhoembitteredthenationagainsthiminthemostinnocentway。Hekilledacoupleofbattalionsofcats（Tangierisfullofthem）andmadeaparlorcarpetoutoftheirhides。Hemadehiscarpetincircles——firstacircleofoldgraytomcats，withtheirtailsallpointingtowardthecenter;thenacircleofyellowcats;nextacircleofblackcatsandacircleofwhiteones;thenacircleofallsortsofcats;and，finally，acenterpieceofassortedkittens。Itwasverybeautiful，buttheMoorscursehismemorytothisday。
WhenwewenttocallonourAmericanConsulGeneraltodayInoticedthatallpossiblegamesforparloramusementseemedtoberepresentedonhiscentertables。Ithoughtthathintedatlonesomeness。Theideawascorrect。HisistheonlyAmericanfamilyinTangier。Therearemanyforeignconsulsinthisplace，butmuchvisitingisnotindulgedin。Tangierisclearoutoftheworld，andwhatistheuseofvisitingwhenpeoplehavenothingonearthtotalkabout？Thereisnone。Soeachconsul\'sfamilystaysathomechieflyandamusesitselfasbestitcan。Tangierisfullofinterestforoneday，butafterthatitisawearyprison。TheConsulGeneralhasbeenherefiveyears，andhasgotenoughofittodohimforacentury，andisgoinghomeshortly。Hisfamilyseizeupontheirlettersandpaperswhenthemailarrives，readthemoverandoveragainfortwodaysorthree，talkthemoverandoveragainfortwoorthreemoretilltheywearthemout，andafterthatfordaystogethertheyeatanddrinkandsleep，andrideoutoverthesameoldroad，andseethesameoldtiresomethingsthatevendecadesofcenturieshavescarcelychanged，andsayneverasingleword！Theyhaveliterallynothingwhatevertotalkabout。ThearrivalofanAmericanman—of—warisagodsendtothem。\"OSolitude，wherearethecharmswhichsageshaveseeninthyface？\"ItisthecompletestexilethatIcanconceiveof。IwouldseriouslyrecommendtothegovernmentoftheUnitedStatesthatwhenamancommitsacrimesoheinousthatthelawprovidesnoadequatepunishmentforit，theymakehimConsulGeneraltoTangier。
IamgladtohaveseenTangier——thesecond—oldesttownintheworld。
ButIamreadytobiditgood—bye，Ibelieve。
WeshallgohencetoGibraltarthiseveningorinthemorning，anddoubtlesstheQuakerCitywillsailfromthatportwithinthenextforty—eighthours。
Chapter10
WepassedtheFourthofJulyonboardtheQuakerCity，inmidocean。
ItwasinallrespectsacharacteristicMediterraneanday——faultlesslybeautiful。Acloudlesssky;arefreshingsummerwind;aradiantsunshinethatglintedcheerilyfromdancingwaveletsinsteadofcrestedmountainsofwater;aseabeneathusthatwassowonderfullyblue，sorichly，brilliantlyblue，thatitovercamethedullestsensibilitieswiththespellofitsfascination。
TheyevenhavefinesunsetsontheMediterranean——athingthatiscertainlyrareinmostquartersoftheglobe。TheeveningwesailedawayfromGibraltar，thathard—featuredrockwasswimminginacreamymistsorich，sosoft，soenchantinglyvagueanddreamy，thateventheOracle，thatserene，thatinspired，thatoverpoweringhumbug，scornedthedinnergongandtarriedtoworship！
Hesaid:\"Well，that\'sgorgis，ain\'tit！Theydon\'thavenoneofthemthingsinourparts，dothey？Iconsiderthatthemeffectsisonaccountofthesuperiorrefragability，asyoumaysay，ofthesun\'sdiramiccombinationwiththelymphaticforcesoftheperihelionofJubiter。Whatshouldyouthink？\"
\"Oh，gotobed！\"Dansaidthatandwentaway。
\"Oh，yes，it\'sallverywelltosaygotobedwhenamanmakesanargumentwhichanothermancan\'tanswer。Dandon\'tneverstandanychanceinanargumentwithme。Andheknowsit，too。Whatshouldyousay，Jack？\"
\"Now，Doctor，don\'tyoucomebotheringaroundmewiththatdictionarybosh。Idon\'tdoyouanyharm，doI？Thenyouletmealone。\"
\"He\'sgone，too。Well，themfellowshavealltackledtheoldOracle，astheysay，buttheoldman\'smosttoomanyfor\'em。MaybethePoetLariatain\'tsatisfiedwiththemdeductions？\"
Thepoetrepliedwithabarbarousrhymeandwentbelow。
\"\'Pearsthathecan\'tqualify，neither。Well，Ididn\'texpectnothingoutofhim。Ineverseeoneofthempoetsyetthatknowedanything。He\'llgodownnowandgrindoutaboutfourreamsoftheawfullestslushaboutthatoldrockandgiveittoaconsul，orapilot，oranigger，oranybodyhecomesacrossfirstwhichhecanimposeon。Pitybutsomebody\'dtakethatpooroldlunaticanddigallthatpoetryrubbageoutofhim。
Whycan\'tamanputhisintellectontothingsthat\'ssomevalue？Gibbons，andHippocratus，andSarcophagus，andallthemoldancientphilosopherswasdownonpoets——\"
\"Doctor，\"Isaid，\"youaregoingtoinventauthoritiesnowandI\'llleaveyou，too。Ialwaysenjoyyourconversation，notwithstandingtheluxurianceofyoursyllables，whenthephilosophyyouofferrestsonyourownresponsibility;
butwhenyoubegintosoar——whenyoubegintosupportitwiththeevidenceofauthoritieswhoarethecreationsofyourownfancy——Iloseconfidence。\"
Thatwasthewaytoflatterthedoctor。Heconsidereditasortofacknowledgmentonmypartofafeartoarguewithhim。Hewasalwayspersecutingthepassengerswithabstrusepropositionsframedinlanguagethatnomancouldunderstand，andtheyenduredtheexquisitetortureaminuteortwoandthenabandonedthefield。Atriumphlikethisoverhalfadozenantagonistswassufficientforoneday;fromthattimeforwardhewouldpatrolthedecksbeamingblandlyuponallcomers，andsotranquilly，blissfullyhappy！
ButIdigress。ThethunderofourtwobravecannonannouncedtheFourthofJuly，atdaylight，toallwhowereawake。Butmanyofusgotourinformationatalaterhour，fromthealmanac。Alltheflagsweresentaloftexcepthalfadozenthatwereneededtodecorateportionsoftheshipbelow，andinashorttimethevesselassumedaholidayappearance。Duringthemorning，meetingswereheldandallmannerofcommitteessettoworkonthecelebrationceremonies。intheafternoontheship\'scompanyassembledaft，ondeck，undertheawnings;theflute，theasthmaticmelodeon，andtheconsumptiveclarinetcrippled\"TheStar—SpangledBanner，\"thechoirchasedittocover，andGeorgecameinwithapeculiarlylaceratingscreechonthefinalnoteandslaughteredit。Nobodymourned。
Wecarriedoutthecorpseonthreecheers（thatjokewasnotintentionalandIdonotendorseit），andthenthePresident，thronedbehindacablelockerwithanationalflagspreadoverit，announcedthe\"Reader，\"whoroseupandreadthatsameoldDeclarationofIndependencewhichwehavealllistenedtosooftenwithoutpayinganyattentiontowhatitsaid;
andafterthatthePresidentpipedtheOratoroftheDaytoquartersandhemadethatsameoldspeechaboutournationalgreatnesswhichwesoreligiouslybelieveandsoferventlyapplaud。Nowcamethechoirintocourtagain，withthecomplaininginstruments，andassaulted\"HailColumbia\";andwhenvictoryhungwaveringinthescale，Georgereturnedwithhisdreadfulwild—goosestopturnedonandthechoirwon，ofcourse。Aministerpronouncedthebenediction，andthepatrioticlittlegatheringdisbanded。TheFourthofJulywassafe，asfarastheMediterraneanwasconcerned。