\'Youmighthavesparedyourselfthetroubleofdeliveringthattirade，\'answeredGeorgiana。\'Everybodyknowsyouarethemostselfish，heartlesscreatureinexistence:andIknowyourspitefulhatredtowardsme:IhavehadaspecimenofitbeforeinthetrickyouplayedmeaboutLordEdwinVere:youcouldnotbearmetoberaisedaboveyou，tohaveatitle，tobereceivedintocircleswhereyoudarenotshowyourface，andsoyouactedthespyandinformer，andruinedmyprospectsforever。\'Georgianatookoutherhandkerchiefandblewhernoseforanhourafterwards;Elizasatcold，impassible，andassiduouslyindustrious。
True，generousfeelingismadesmallaccountofbysome，buthereweretwonaturesrendered，theoneintolerablyacrid，theotherdespicablysavourlessforthewantofit。Feelingwithoutjudgmentisawashydraughtindeed;butjudgmentuntemperedbyfeelingistoobitterandhuskyamorselforhumandeglutition。
Itwasawetandwindyafternoon:Georgianahadfallenasleeponthesofaovertheperusalofanovel;Elizawasgonetoattendasaint\'s—dayserviceatthenewchurch—forinmattersofreligionshewasarigidformalist:noweathereverpreventedthepunctualdischargeofwhatsheconsideredherdevotionalduties;fairorfoul，shewenttochurchthriceeverySunday，andasoftenonweek—daysastherewereprayers。
Ibethoughtmyselftogoupstairsandseehowthedyingwomansped，wholaytherealmostunheeded:theveryservantspaidherbutaremittentattention:thehirednurse，beinglittlelookedafter，wouldslipoutoftheroomwhenevershecould。Bessiewasfaithful;butshehadherownfamilytomind，andcouldonlycomeoccasionallytothehall。Ifoundthesick—roomunwatched，asIhadexpected:nonursewasthere;thepatientlaystill，andseeminglylethargic;herlividfacesunkinthepillows:thefirewasdyinginthegrate。Irenewedthefuel，re—arrangedthebedclothes，gazedawhileonherwhocouldnotnowgazeonme，andthenImovedawaytothewindow。
Therainbeatstronglyagainstthepanes，thewindblewtempestuously:\'Oneliesthere，\'Ithought，\'whowillsoonbebeyondthewarofearthlyelements。Whitherwillthatspirit—nowstrugglingtoquititsmaterialtenement—flitwhenatlengthreleased？\'
Inponderingthegreatmystery，IthoughtofHelenBurns，recalledherdyingwords—herfaith—herdoctrineoftheequalityofdisembodiedsouls。Iwasstilllisteninginthoughttoherwell—rememberedtones—stillpicturingherpaleandspiritualaspect，herwastedfaceandsublimegaze，asshelayonherplaciddeathbed，andwhisperedherlongingtoberestoredtoherdivineFather\'sbosom—whenafeeblevoicemurmuredfromthecouchbehind:
\'Whoisthat？\'
IknewMrs。Reedhadnotspokenfordays:wasshereviving？
I
wentuptoher。
\'ItisI，AuntReed。\'
\'Who—I？\'washeranswer。\'Whoareyou？\'lookingatmewithsurpriseandasortofalarm，butstillnotwildly。\'Youarequiteastrangertome—whereisBessie？\'
\'Sheisatthelodge，aunt。\'
\'Aunt，\'sherepeated。\'Whocallsmeaunt？YouarenotoneoftheGibsons;andyetIknowyou—thatface，andtheeyesandforehead，arequitefamiliartome:youarelike—why，youarelikeJaneEyre！\'
Isaidnothing:Iwasafraidofoccasioningsomeshockbydeclaringmyidentity。
\'Yet，\'saidshe，\'Iamafraiditisamistake:mythoughtsdeceiveme。IwishedtoseeJaneEyre，andIfancyalikenesswherenoneexists:besides，ineightyearsshemustbesochanged。\'InowgentlyassuredherthatIwasthepersonshesupposedanddesiredmetobe:andseeingthatIwasunderstood，andthathersenseswerequitecollected，IexplainedhowBessiehadsentherhusbandtofetchmefromThornfield。
\'Iamveryill，Iknow，\'shesaiderelong。\'Iwastryingtoturnmyselfafewminutessince，andfindIcannotmovealimb。ItisaswellIshouldeasemymindbeforeIdie:whatwethinklittleofinhealth，burdensusatsuchanhourasthepresentistome。Isthenursehere？oristherenooneintheroombutyou？\'
Iassuredherwewerealone。
\'Well，IhavetwicedoneyouawrongwhichIregretnow。
OnewasinbreakingthepromisewhichIgavemyhusbandtobringyouupasmyownchild;theother—\'shestopped。\'Afterall，itisofnogreatimportance，perhaps，\'shemurmuredtoherself:\'andthenImaygetbetter;andtohumblemyselfsotoherispainful。\'
Shemadeanefforttoalterherposition，butfailed:herfacechanged;sheseemedtoexperiencesomeinwardsensation—theprecursor，perhaps，ofthelastpang。
\'Well，Imustgetitover。Eternityisbeforeme:Ihadbettertellher。—Gotomydressing—case，openit，andtakeoutaletteryouwillseethere。\'
Iobeyedherdirections。\'Readtheletter，\'shesaid。
Itwasshort，andthusconceived:—
\'MADAM，—Willyouhavethegoodnesstosendmetheaddressofmyniece，JaneEyre，andtotellmehowsheis？ItismyintentiontowriteshortlyanddesirehertocometomeatMadeira。Providencehasblessedmyendeavourstosecureacompetency;andasIamunmarriedandchildless，Iwishtoadoptherduringmylife，andbequeathheratmydeathwhateverImayhavetoleave。—Iam，Madam，etc。，etc。，\'JOHNEYRE，Madeira。\'
Itwasdatedthreeyearsback。
\'WhydidIneverhearofthis？\'Iasked。
\'BecauseIdislikedyoutoofixedlyandthoroughlyevertolendahandinliftingyoutoprosperity。Icouldnotforgetyourconducttome，Jane—thefurywithwhichyouonceturnedonme;thetoneinwhichyoudeclaredyouabhorredmetheworstofanybodyintheworld;theunchildlikelookandvoicewithwhichyouaffirmedthattheverythoughtofmemadeyousick，andassertedthatIhadtreatedyouwithmiserablecruelty。Icouldnotforgetmyownsensationswhenyouthusstartedupandpouredoutthevenomofyourmind:IfeltfearasifananimalthatIhadstruckorpushedhadlookedupatmewithhumaneyesandcursedmeinaman\'svoice。—Bringmesomewater！Oh，makehaste！\'
\'DearMrs。Reed，\'saidI，asIofferedherthedraughtsherequired，\'thinknomoreofallthis，letitpassawayfromyourmind。
Forgivemeformypassionatelanguage:Iwasachildthen;eight，nineyearshavepassedsincethatday。\'
SheheedednothingofwhatIsaid;butwhenshehadtastedthewateranddrawnbreath，shewentonthus—
\'ItellyouIcouldnotforgetit;andItookmyrevenge:
foryoutobeadoptedbyyouruncle，andplacedinastateofeaseandcomfort，waswhatIcouldnotendure。Iwrotetohim;IsaidIwassorryforhisdisappointment，butJaneEyrewasdead:shehaddiedoftyphusfeveratLowood。Nowactasyouplease:writeandcontradictmyassertion—exposemyfalsehoodassoonasyoulike。Youwereborn，Ithink，tobemytorment:mylasthourisrackedbytherecollectionofadeedwhich，butforyou，Ishouldneverhavebeentemptedtocommit。\'
\'Ifyoucouldbutbepersuadedtothinknomoreofit，aunt，andtoregardmewithkindnessandforgiveness—\'
\'Youhaveaverybaddisposition，\'saidshe，\'andonetothisdayI
feelitimpossibletounderstand:howfornineyearsyoucouldbepatientandquiescentunderanytreatment，andinthetenthbreakoutallfireandviolence，Icannevercomprehend。\'
\'Mydispositionisnotsobadasyouthink:Iampassionate，butnotvindictive。Manyatime，asalittlechild，Ishouldhavebeengladtoloveyouifyouwouldhaveletme;andIlongearnestlytobereconciledtoyounow:kissme，aunt。\'
Iapproachedmycheektoherlips:shewouldnottouchit。ShesaidIoppressedherbyleaningoverthebed，andagaindemandedwater。
AsIlaidherdown—forIraisedherandsupportedheronmyarmwhileshedrank—Icoveredherice—coldandclammyhandwithmine:thefeeblefingersshrankfrommytouch—theglazingeyesshunnedmygaze。
\'Loveme，then，orhateme，asyouwill，\'Isaidatlast，\'youhavemyfullandfreeforgiveness:asknowforGod\'s，andbeatpeace。\'
Poor，sufferingwoman！itwastoolateforhertomakenowtheefforttochangeherhabitualframeofmind:living，shehadeverhatedme—dying，shemusthatemestill。
Thenursenowentered，andBessiefollowed。Iyetlingeredhalfanhourlonger，hopingtoseesomesignofamity:butshegavenone。
Shewasfastrelapsingintostupor;nordidhermindagainrally:attwelveo\'clockthatnightshedied。Iwasnotpresenttoclosehereyes，norwereeitherofherdaughters。Theycametotellusthenextmorningthatallwasover。Shewasbythattimelaidout。ElizaandIwenttolookather:Georgiana，whohadburstoutintoloudweeping，saidshedarednotgo。TherewasstretchedSarahReed\'soncerobustandactiveframe，rigidandstill:hereyeofflintwascoveredwithitscoldlid;herbrowandstrongtraitsworeyettheimpressofherinexorablesoul。Astrangeandsolemnobjectwasthatcorpsetome。Igazedonitwithgloomandpain:nothingsoft，nothingsweet，nothingpitying，orhopeful，orsubduingdiditinspire;onlyagratinganguishforherwoes—notmyloss—andasombretearlessdismayatthefearfulnessofdeathinsuchaform。
Elizasurveyedherparentcalmly。Afterasilenceofsomeminutessheobserved—
\'Withherconstitutionsheshouldhavelivedtoagoodoldage:herlifewasshortenedbytrouble。\'Andthenaspasmconstrictedhermouthforaninstant:asitpassedawaysheturnedandlefttheroom，andsodidI。Neitherofushaddroptatear。
chapter22CHAPTERXXII
MR。ROCHESTERhadgivenmebutoneweek\'sleaveofabsence:
yetamonthelapsedbeforeIquittedGateshead。Iwishedtoleaveimmediatelyafterthefuneral，butGeorgianaentreatedmetostaytillshecouldgetofftoLondon，whithershewasnowatlastinvitedbyheruncle，Mr。Gibson，whohadcomedowntodirecthissister\'sintermentandsettlethefamilyaffairs。GeorgianasaidshedreadedbeingleftalonewithEliza;fromhershegotneithersympathyinherdejection，supportinherfears，noraidinherpreparations;soI
borewithherfeeble—mindedwailingsandselfishlamentationsaswellasIcould，anddidmybestinsewingforherandpackingherdresses。Itistrue，thatwhileIworked，shewouldidle;andI
thoughttomyself，\'IfyouandIweredestinedtolivealwaystogether，cousin，wewouldcommencemattersonadifferentfooting。
Ishouldnotsettletamelydownintobeingtheforbearingparty;I
shouldassignyouyourshareoflabour，andcompelyoutoaccomplishit，orelseitshouldbeleftundone:Ishouldinsist，also，onyourkeepingsomeofthosedrawling，half—insincerecomplaintshushedinyourownbreast。Itisonlybecauseourconnectionhappenstobeverytransitory，andcomesatapeculiarlymournfulseason，thatI
consentthustorenderitsopatientandcompliantonmypart。\'
AtlastIsawGeorgianaoff;butnowitwasEliza\'sturntorequestmetostayanotherweek。Herplansrequiredallhertimeandattention，shesaid;shewasabouttodepartforsomeunknownbourne;andalldaylongshestayedinherownroom，herdoorboltedwithin，fillingtrunks，emptyingdrawers，burningpapers，andholdingnocommunicationwithanyone。Shewishedmetolookafterthehouse，toseecallers，andanswernotesofcondolence。
OnemorningshetoldmeIwasatliberty。\'And，\'sheadded，\'Iamobligedtoyouforyourvaluableservicesanddiscreetconduct！
ThereissomedifferencebetweenlivingwithsuchanoneasyouandwithGeorgiana:youperformyourownpartinlifeandburdennoone。
To—morrow，\'shecontinued，\'IsetoutfortheContinent。IshalltakeupmyabodeinareligioushousenearLisle—anunneryyouwouldcallit;thereIshallbequietandunmolested。IshalldevotemyselfforatimetotheexaminationoftheRomanCatholicdogmas，andtoacarefulstudyoftheworkingsoftheirsystem:ifIfindittobe，asIhalfsuspectitis，theonebestcalculatedtoensurethedoingofallthingsdecentlyandinorder，IshallembracethetenetsofRomeandprobablytaketheveil。\'
Ineitherexpressedsurpriseatthisresolutionnorattemptedtodissuadeherfromit。\'Thevocationwillfityoutoahair，\'I
thought:\'muchgoodmayitdoyou！\'
Whenweparted，shesaid:\'Good—bye，cousinJaneEyre;
Iwishyouwell:youhavesomesense。\'
Ithenreturned:\'Youarenotwithoutsense，cousinEliza;
butwhatyouhave，Isuppose，inanotheryearwillbewalledupaliveinaFrenchconvent。However，itisnotmybusiness，andsoitsuitsyou，I
don\'tmuchcare。\'
\'Youareintheright，\'saidshe;andwiththesewordsweeachwentourseparateway。AsIshallnothaveoccasiontorefereithertoherorhersisteragain，Imayaswellmentionhere，thatGeorgianamadeanadvantageousmatchwithawealthyworn—outmanoffashion，andthatElizaactuallytooktheveil，andisatthisdaysuperioroftheconventwhereshepassedtheperiodofhernovitiate，andwhichsheendowedwithherfortune。
Howpeoplefeelwhentheyarereturninghomefromanabsence，longorshort，Ididnotknow:Ihadneverexperiencedthesensation。IhadknownwhatitwastocomebacktoGatesheadwhenachildafteralongwalk，tobescoldedforlookingcoldorgloomy;andlater，whatitwastocomebackfromchurchtoLowood，tolongforaplenteousmealandagoodfire，andtobeunabletogeteither。
Neitherofthesereturningswasverypleasantordesirable:nomagnetdrewmetoagivenpoint，increasinginitsstrengthofattractionthenearerIcame。ThereturntoThornfieldwasyettobetried。
Myjourneyseemedtedious—verytedious:fiftymilesoneday，anightspentataninn;fiftymilesthenextday。DuringthefirsttwelvehoursIthoughtofMrs。Reedinherlastmoments;Isawherdisfiguredanddiscolouredface，andheardherstrangelyalteredvoice。Imusedonthefuneralday，thecoffin，thehearse，theblacktrainoftenantsandservants—fewwasthenumberofrelatives—thegapingvault，thesilentchurch，thesolemnservice。ThenIthoughtofElizaandGeorgiana;Ibeheldonethecynosureofaball—room，theothertheinmateofaconventcell;andIdweltonandanalysedtheirseparatepeculiaritiesofpersonandcharacter。Theeveninggavethemquiteanotherturn:laiddownonmytraveller\'sbed，I
leftreminiscenceforanticipation。
IwasgoingbacktoThornfield:buthowlongwasItostaythere？
Notlong;ofthatIwassure。IhadheardfromMrs。Fairfaxintheinterimofmyabsence:thepartyatthehallwasdispersed;Mr。
RochesterhadleftforLondonthreeweeksago，buthewasthenexpectedtoreturninafortnight。Mrs。Fairfaxsurmisedthathewasgonetomakearrangementsforhiswedding，ashehadtalkedofpurchasinganewcarriage:shesaidtheideaofhismarryingMissIngramstillseemedstrangetoher;butfromwhateverybodysaid，andfromwhatshehadherselfseen，shecouldnolongerdoubtthattheeventwouldshortlytakeplace。\'Youwouldbestrangelyincredulousifyoudiddoubtit，\'wasmymentalcomment。\'Idon\'tdoubtit。\'
Thequestionfollowed，\'WherewasItogo？\'IdreamtofMissIngramallthenight:inavividmorningdreamIsawherclosingthegatesofThornfieldagainstmeandpointingmeoutanotherroad;andMr。
Rochesterlookedonwithhisarmsfolded—smilingsardonically，asitseemed，atbothherandme。
IhadnotnotifiedtoMrs。Fairfaxtheexactdayofmyreturn;
forIdidnotwisheithercarorcarriagetomeetmeatMillcote。I
proposedtowalkthedistancequietlybymyself;andveryquietly，afterleavingmyboxintheostler\'scare，didIslipawayfromtheGeorgeInn，aboutsixo\'clockofaJuneevening，andtaketheoldroadtoThornfield:aroadwhichlaychieflythroughfields，andwasnowlittlefrequented。
Itwasnotabrightorsplendidsummerevening，thoughfairandsoft:thehaymakerswereatworkallalongtheroad;andthesky，thoughfarfromcloudless，wassuchaspromisedwellforthefuture:
itsblue—wherebluewasvisible—wasmildandsettled，anditscloudstratahighandthin。Thewest，too，waswarm:nowaterygleamchilledit—itseemedasiftherewasafirelit，analtarburningbehinditsscreenofmarbledvapour，andoutofaperturesshoneagoldenredness。
Ifeltgladastheroadshortenedbeforeme:sogladthatIstoppedoncetoaskmyselfwhatthatjoymeant:andtoremindreasonthatitwasnottomyhomeIwasgoing，ortoapermanentresting—place，ortoaplacewherefondfriendslookedoutformeandwaitedmyarrival。
\'Mrs。Fairfaxwillsmileyouacalmwelcome，tobesure，\'saidI;\'andlittleAdelewillclapherhandsandjumptoseeyou:butyouknowverywellyouarethinkingofanotherthanthey，andthatheisnotthinkingofyou。\'
Butwhatissoheadstrongasyouth？Whatsoblindasinexperience？TheseaffirmedthatitwaspleasureenoughtohavetheprivilegeofagainlookingonMr。Rochester，whetherhelookedonmeornot;andtheyadded—\'Hasten！hasten！bewithhimwhileyoumay:
butafewmoredaysorweeks，atmost，andyouarepartedfromhimforever！\'AndthenIstrangledanew—bornagony—adeformedthingwhichI
couldnotpersuademyselftoownandrear—andranon。
Theyaremakinghay，too，inThornfieldmeadows:orrather，thelabourersarejustquittingtheirwork，andreturninghomewiththeirrakesontheirshoulders，now，atthehourIarrive。Ihavebutafieldortwototraverse，andthenIshallcrosstheroadandreachthegates。Howfullthehedgesareofroses！ButIhavenotimetogatherany;Iwanttobeatthehouse。Ipassedatallbriar，shootingleafyandflowerybranchesacrossthepath;Iseethenarrowstilewithstonesteps;andIsee—Mr。Rochestersittingthere，abookandapencilinhishand;heiswriting。
Well，heisnotaghost;yeteverynerveIhaveisunstrung:
foramomentIambeyondmyownmastery。Whatdoesitmean？IdidnotthinkIshouldtrembleinthiswaywhenIsawhim，orlosemyvoiceorthepowerofmotioninhispresence。IwillgobackassoonasIcanstir:Ineednotmakeanabsolutefoolofmyself。Iknowanotherwaytothehouse。ItdoesnotsignifyifIknewtwentyways;forhehasseenme。
\'Hillo！\'hecries;andheputsuphisbookandhispencil。
\'Thereyouare！Comeon，ifyouplease。\'
IsupposeIdocomeon;thoughinwhatfashionIknownot;
beingscarcelycognisantofmymovements，andsolicitousonlytoappearcalm;and，aboveall，tocontroltheworkingmusclesofmyface—whichIfeelrebelinsolentlyagainstmywill，andstruggletoexpresswhatIhadresolvedtoconceal。ButIhaveaveil—itisdown:Imaymakeshiftyettobehavewithdecentcomposure。
\'AndthisisJaneEyre？AreyoucomingfromMillcote，andonfoot？Yes—justoneofyourtricks:nottosendforacarriage，andcomeclatteringoverstreetandroadlikeacommonmortal，buttostealintothevicinageofyourhomealongwithtwilight，justasifyouwereadreamorashade。Whatthedeucehaveyoudonewithyourselfthislastmonth？\'
\'Ihavebeenwithmyaunt，sir，whoisdead。\'
\'AtrueJanianreply！Goodangelsbemyguard。Shecomesfromtheotherworld—fromtheabodeofpeoplewhoaredead;andtellsmesowhenshemeetsmealonehereinthegloaming！IfIdared，I\'dtouchyou，toseeifyouaresubstanceorshadow，youelf！—butI\'dassoonoffertotakeholdofablueignisfatuuslightinamarsh。
Truant！truant！\'headded，whenhehadpausedaninstant。\'Absentfrommeawholemonth，andforgettingmequite，I\'llbesworn！\'
Iknewtherewouldbepleasureinmeetingmymasteragain，eventhoughbrokenbythefearthathewassosoontoceasetobemymaster，andbytheknowledgethatIwasnothingtohim:buttherewaseverinMr。Rochester（soatleastIthought）suchawealthofthepowerofcommunicatinghappiness，thattotastebutofthecrumbshescatteredtostrayandstrangerbirdslikeme，wastofeastgenially。Hislastwordswerebalm:theyseemedtoimplythatitimportedsomethingtohimwhetherIforgothimornot。AndhehadspokenofThornfieldasmyhome—wouldthatitweremyhome！
Hedidnotleavethestile，andIhardlylikedtoasktogoby。I
inquiredsoonifhehadnotbeentoLondon。
\'Yes;Isupposeyoufoundthatoutbysecond—sight。\'
\'Mrs。Fairfaxtoldmeinaletter。\'
\'AnddidsheinformyouwhatIwenttodo？\'
\'Oh，yes，sir！Everybodyknewyourerrand。\'
\'Youmustseethecarriage，Jane，andtellmeifyoudon\'tthinkitwillsuitMrs。Rochesterexactly;andwhethershewon\'tlooklikeQueenBoadicea，leaningbackagainstthosepurplecushions。Iwish，Jane，Iwereatriflebetteradaptedtomatchwithherexternally。
Tellmenow，fairyasyouare—can\'tyougivemeacharm，oraphilter，orsomethingofthatsort，tomakemeahandsomeman？\'
\'Itwouldbepastthepowerofmagic，sir\';and，inthought，I
added，\'Alovingeyeisallthecharmneeded:tosuchyouarehandsomeenough;orratheryoursternnesshasapowerbeyondbeauty。\'
Mr。Rochesterhadsometimesreadmyunspokenthoughtswithanacumentomeincomprehensible:inthepresentinstancehetooknonoticeofmyabruptvocalresponse;buthesmiledatmewithacertainsmilehehadofhisown，andwhichheusedbutonrareoccasions。Heseemedtothinkittoogoodforcommonpurposes:itwastherealsunshineoffeeling—hesheditovermenow。
\'Pass，Janet，\'saidhe，makingroomformetocrossthestile:
\'gouphome，andstayyourwearylittlewanderingfeetatafriend\'sthreshold。\'
AllIhadnowtodowastoobeyhiminsilence:noneedformetocolloquisefurther。Igotoverthestilewithoutaword，andmeanttoleavehimcalmly。Animpulseheldmefast—aforceturnedmeround。
Isaid—orsomethinginmesaidforme，andinspiteofme—
\'Thankyou，Mr。Rochester，foryourgreatkindness。Iamstrangelygladtogetbackagaintoyou:andwhereveryouareismyhome—myonlyhome。\'
Iwalkedonsofastthatevenhecouldhardlyhaveovertakenmehadhetried。LittleAdelewashalfwildwithdelightwhenshesawme。
Mrs。Fairfaxreceivedmewithherusualplainfriendliness。Leahsmiled，andevenSophiebidme\'bonsoir\'withglee。Thiswasverypleasant;thereisnohappinesslikethatofbeinglovedbyyourfellow—creatures，andfeelingthatyourpresenceisanadditiontotheircomfort。
Ithateveningshutmyeyesresolutelyagainstthefuture:
I
stoppedmyearsagainstthevoicethatkeptwarningmeofnearseparationandcominggrief。WhenteawasoverandMrs。Fairfaxhadtakenherknitting，andIhadassumedalowseatnearher，andAdele，kneelingonthecarpet，hadnestledcloseuptome，andasenseofmutualaffectionseemedtosurrounduswitharingofgoldenpeace，Iutteredasilentprayerthatwemightnotbepartedfarorsoon;butwhen，aswethussat，Mr。Rochesterentered，unannounced，andlookingatus，seemedtotakepleasureinthespectacleofagroupsoamicable—whenhesaidhesupposedtheoldladywasallrightnowthatshehadgotheradopteddaughterbackagain，andaddedthathesawAdelewas\'preteacroquersapetitemamanAnglaise\'—Ihalfventuredtohopethathewould，evenafterhismarriage，keepustogethersomewhereundertheshelterofhisprotection，andnotquiteexiledfromthesunshineofhispresence。
AfortnightofdubiouscalmsucceededmyreturntoThornfieldHall。
Nothingwassaidofthemaster\'smarriage，andIsawnopreparationgoingonforsuchanevent。AlmosteverydayIaskedMrs。Fairfaxifshehadyetheardanythingdecided:heranswerwasalwaysinthenegative。OnceshesaidshehadactuallyputthequestiontoMr。
Rochesterastowhenhewasgoingtobringhisbridehome;buthehadansweredheronlybyajokeandoneofhisqueerlooks，andshecouldnottellwhattomakeofhim。
Onethingspeciallysurprisedme，andthatwas，therewerenojourneyingsbackwardandforward，novisitstoIngramPark:tobesureitwastwentymilesoff，onthebordersofanothercounty;butwhatwasthatdistancetoanardentlover？TosopractisedandindefatigableahorsemanasMr。Rochester，itwouldbebutamorning\'sride。IbegantocherishhopesIhadnorighttoconceive:thatthematchwasbrokenoff;thatrumourhadbeenmistaken;thatoneorbothpartieshadchangedtheirminds。Iusedtolookatmymaster\'sfacetoseeifitweresadorfierce;butIcouldnotrememberthetimewhenithadbeensouniformlyclearofcloudsorevilfeelings。
If，inthemomentsIandmypupilspentwithhim，Ilackedspiritsandsankintoinevitabledejection，hebecameevengay。Neverhadhecalledmemorefrequentlytohispresence;neverbeenkindertomewhenthere—and，alas！neverhadIlovedhimsowell。
chapter23CHAPTERXXIII
ASPLENDIDMidsummershoneoverEngland:skiessopure，sunssoradiantaswerethenseeninlongsuccession，seldomfavourevensingly，ourwave—girtland。ItwasasifabandofItaliandayshadcomefromtheSouth，likeaflockofgloriouspassengerbirds，andlightedtorestthemonthecliffsofAlbion。Thehaywasallgotin;thefieldsroundThornfieldweregreenandshorn;theroadswhiteandbaked;thetreeswereintheirdarkprime;hedgeandwood，full—leavedanddeeplytinted，contrastedwellwiththesunnyhueoftheclearedmeadowsbetween。
OnMidsummer—eve，Adele，wearywithgatheringwildstrawberriesinHayLanehalftheday，hadgonetobedwiththesun。Iwatchedherdropasleep，andwhenIlefther，Isoughtthegarden。
Itwasnowthesweetesthourofthetwenty—four:—\'Dayitsfervidfireshadwasted，\'anddewfellcoolonpantingplainandscorchedsummit。Wherethesunhadgonedowninsimplestate—pureofthepompofclouds—spreadasolemnpurple，burningwiththelightofredjewelandfurnaceflameatonepoint，ononehill—peak，andextendinghighandwide，softandstillsofter，overhalfheaven。
Theeasthaditsowncharmoffinedeepblue，anditsownmodestgem，arisingandsolitarystar:soonitwouldboastthemoon;butshewasyetbeneaththehorizon。
Iwalkedawhileonthepavement;butasubtle，well—knownscent—
thatofacigar—stolefromsomewindow;Isawthelibrarycasementopenahand—breadth;IknewImightbewatchedthence;soIwentapartintotheorchard。NonookinthegroundsmoreshelteredandmoreEden—like;itwasfulloftrees，itbloomedwithflowers:averyhighwallshutitoutfromthecourt，ononeside;ontheother，abeechavenuescreeneditfromthelawn。Atthebottomwasasunkfence;itssoleseparationfromlonelyfields:awindingwalk，borderedwithlaurelsandterminatinginagianthorse—chestnut，circledatthebasebyaseat，leddowntothefence。Hereonecouldwanderunseen。Whilesuchhoney—dewfell，suchsilencereigned，suchgloaminggathered，IfeltasifIcouldhauntsuchshadeforever;butinthreadingtheflowerandfruitparterresattheupperpartoftheenclosure，enticedtherebythelightthenowrisingmooncastonthismoreopenquarter，mystepisstayed—notbysound，notbysight，butoncemorebyawarningfragrance。
Sweet—briarandsouthernwood，jasmine，pink，androsehavelongbeenyieldingtheireveningsacrificeofincense:thisnewscentisneitherofshrubnorflower;itis—Iknowitwell—itisMr。
Rochester\'scigar。IlookroundandIlisten。Iseetreesladenwithripeningfruit。Ihearanightingalewarblinginawoodhalfamileoff;nomovingformisvisible，nocomingstepaudible;butthatperfumeincreases:Imustflee。Imakeforthewicketleadingtotheshrubbery，andIseeMr。Rochesterentering。Istepasideintotheivyrecess;hewillnotstaylong:hewillsoonreturnwhencehecame，andifIsitstillhewillneverseeme。
Butno—eventideisaspleasanttohimastome，andthisantiquegardenasattractive;andhestrollson，nowliftingthegooseberry—treebranchestolookatthefruit，largeasplums，withwhichtheyareladen;nowtakingaripecherryfromthewall;nowstoopingtowardsaknotofflowers，eithertoinhaletheirfragranceortoadmirethedew—beadsontheirpetals。Agreatmothgoeshummingbyme;italightsonaplantatMr。Rochester\'sfoot:heseesit，andbendstoexamineit。
\'Now，hehashisbacktowardsme，\'thoughtI，\'andheisoccupiedtoo;perhaps，ifIwalksoftly，Icanslipawayunnoticed。\'
Itrodeonanedgingofturfthatthecrackleofthepebblygravelmightnotbetrayme:hewasstandingamongthebedsatayardortwodistantfromwhereIhadtopass;themothapparentlyengagedhim。\'Ishallgetbyverywell，\'Imeditated。AsIcrossedhisshadow，thrownlongoverthegardenbythemoon，notyetrisenhigh，hesaidquietly，withoutturning—
\'Jane，comeandlookatthisfellow。\'
Ihadmadenonoise:hehadnoteyesbehind—couldhisshadowfeel？
Istartedatfirst，andthenIapproachedhim。
\'Lookathiswings，\'saidhe，\'heremindsmeratherofaWestIndianinsect;onedoesnotoftenseesolargeandgayanight—roverinEngland;there！heisflown。\'
Themothroamedaway。Iwassheepishlyretreatingalso;
butMr。
Rochesterfollowedme，andwhenwereachedthewicket，hesaid—
\'Turnback:onsolovelyanightitisashametositinthehouse;
andsurelynoonecanwishtogotobedwhilesunsetisthusatmeetingwithmoonrise。\'
Itisoneofmyfaults，thatthoughmytongueissometimespromptenoughatananswer，therearetimeswhenitsadlyfailsmeinframinganexcuse;andalwaysthelapseoccursatsomecrisis，whenafacilewordorplausiblepretextisspeciallywantedtogetmeoutofpainfulembarrassment。IdidnotliketowalkatthishouralonewithMr。
Rochesterintheshadowyorchard;butIcouldnotfindareasontoallegeforleavinghim。Ifollowedwithlaggingstep，andthoughtsbusilybentondiscoveringameansofextrication;buthehimselflookedsocomposedandsogravealso，Ibecameashamedoffeelinganyconfusion:theevil—ifevilexistentorprospectivetherewas—
seemedtoliewithmeonly;hismindwasunconsciousandquiet。