第19章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"JANE EYRE",免费读到尾

  \'AndoldMadamReed,ortheMisses,herdaughters,willbesolicitedbyyoutoseekaplace,Isuppose?\'

  \'No,sir;Iamnotonsuchtermswithmyrelativesaswouldjustifymeinaskingfavoursofthem—butIshalladvertise。\'

  \'YoushallwalkupthepyramidsofEgypt!\'hegrowled。

  \'Atyourperilyouadvertise!IwishIhadonlyofferedyouasovereigninsteadoftenpounds。Givemebackninepounds,Jane;I\'veauseforit。\'

  \'AndsohaveI,sir,\'Ireturned,puttingmyhandsandmypursebehindme。\'Icouldnotsparethemoneyonanyaccount。\'

  \'Littleniggard!\'saidhe,\'refusingmeapecuniaryrequest!

  Givemefivepounds,Jane。\'

  \'Notfiveshillings,sir;norfivepence。\'

  \'Justletmelookatthecash。\'

  \'No,sir;youarenottobetrusted。\'

  \'Jane!\'

  \'Sir?\'

  \'Promisemeonething。\'

  \'I\'llpromiseyouanything,sir,thatIthinkIamlikelytoperform。\'

  \'Nottoadvertise:andtotrustthisquestofasituationtome。

  I\'llfindyouoneintime。\'

  \'Ishallbegladsotodo,sir,ifyou,inyourturn,willpromisethatIandAdeleshallbebothsafeoutofthehousebeforeyourbrideentersit。\'

  \'Verywell!verywell!I\'llpledgemywordonit。Yougoto—morrow,then?\'

  \'Yes,sir;early。\'

  \'Shallyoucomedowntothedrawing—roomafterdinner?\'

  \'No,sir,Imustprepareforthejourney。\'

  \'ThenyouandImustbidgood—byeforalittlewhile?\'

  \'Isupposeso,sir。\'

  \'Andhowdopeopleperformthatceremonyofparting,Jane?

  Teachme;I\'mnotquiteuptoit。\'

  \'Theysay,Farewell,oranyotherformtheyprefer。\'

  \'Thensayit。\'

  \'Farewell,Mr。Rochester,forthepresent。\'

  \'WhatmustIsay?\'

  \'Thesame,ifyoulike,sir。\'

  \'Farewell,MissEyre,forthepresent;isthatall?\'

  \'Yes。\'

  \'Itseemsstingy,tomynotions,anddry,andunfriendly。

  I

  shouldlikesomethingelse:alittleadditiontotherite。Ifoneshookhands,forinstance;butno—thatwouldnotcontentmeeither。

  Soyou\'lldonomorethansayFarewell,Jane?\'

  \'Itisenough,sir:asmuchgood—willmaybeconveyedinoneheartywordasinmany。\'

  \'Verylikely;butitisblankandcool—\"Farewell。\"\'

  \'Howlongishegoingtostandwithhisbackagainstthatdoor?\'

  Iaskedmyself;\'Iwanttocommencemypacking。\'Thedinner—bellrang,andsuddenlyawayhebolted,withoutanothersyllable:Isawhimnomoreduringtheday,andwasoffbeforehehadriseninthemorning。

  IreachedthelodgeatGatesheadaboutfiveo\'clockintheafternoonofthefirstofMay:Isteppedintherebeforegoinguptothehall。Itwasverycleanandneat:theornamentalwindowswerehungwithlittlewhitecurtains;thefloorwasspotless;thegrateandfire—ironswereburnishedbright,andthefireburntclear。Bessiesatonthehearth,nursingherlast—born,andRobertandhissisterplayedquietlyinacorner。

  \'Blessyou!—Iknewyouwouldcome!\'exclaimedMrs。Leaven,asI

  entered。

  \'Yes,Bessie,\'saidI,afterIhadkissedher;\'andItrustIamnottoolate。HowisMrs。Reed?—Alivestill,Ihope。\'

  \'Yes,sheisalive;andmoresensibleandcollectedthanshewas。

  Thedoctorsaysshemaylingeraweekortwoyet;buthehardlythinksshewillfinallyrecover。\'

  \'Hasshementionedmelately?\'

  \'Shewastalkingofyouonlythismorning,andwishingyouwouldcome:butsheissleepingnow,orwastenminutesago,whenIwasupatthehouse。Shegenerallyliesinakindoflethargyalltheafternoon,andwakesupaboutsixorseven。Willyourestyourselfhereanhour,Miss,andthenIwillgoupwithyou?\'

  Roberthereentered,andBessielaidhersleepingchildinthecradleandwenttowelcomehim:afterwardssheinsistedonmytakingoffmybonnetandhavingsometea;forshesaidIlookedpaleandtired。Iwasgladtoacceptherhospitality;andIsubmittedtoberelievedofmytravellinggarbjustaspassivelyasIusedtoletherundressmewhenachild。

  OldtimescrowdedfastbackonmeasIwatchedherbustlingabout—settingoutthetea—traywithherbestchina,cuttingbreadandbutter,toastingatea—cake,and,betweenwhiles,givinglittleRobertorJaneanoccasionaltaporpush,justassheusedtogivemeinformerdays。Bessiehadretainedherquicktemperaswellasherlightfootandgoodlooks。

  Teaready,Iwasgoingtoapproachthetable;butshedesiredmetositstill,quiteinheroldperemptorytones。Imustbeservedatthefireside,shesaid;andsheplacedbeforemealittleroundstandwithmycupandaplateoftoast,absolutelyassheusedtoaccommodatemewithsomeprivatelypurloineddaintyonanurserychair:andIsmiledandobeyedherasinbygonedays。

  ShewantedtoknowifIwashappyatThornfieldHall,andwhatsortofapersonthemistresswas;andwhenItoldhertherewasonlyamaster,whetherhewasanicegentleman,andifIlikedhim。Itoldherhewasratheranuglyman,butquiteagentleman;andthathetreatedmekindly,andIwascontent。ThenIwentontodescribetoherthegaycompanythathadlatelybeenstayingatthehouse;andtothesedetailsBessielistenedwithinterest:theywerepreciselyofthekindsherelished。

  Insuchconversationanhourwassoongone:Bessierestoredtomemybonnet,etc。,and,accompaniedbyher,Iquittedthelodgeforthehall。ItwasalsoaccompaniedbyherthatIhad,nearlynineyearsago,walkeddownthepathIwasnowascending。Onadark,misty,rawmorninginJanuary,Ihadleftahostileroofwithadesperateandembitteredheart—asenseofoutlawryandalmostofreprobation—toseekthechillyharbourageofLowood:thatbournesofarawayandunexplored。Thesamehostileroofnowagainrosebeforeme:myprospectsweredoubtfulyet;andIhadyetanachingheart。Istillfeltasawandereronthefaceoftheearth;butIexperiencedfirmertrustinmyselfandmyownpowers,andlesswitheringdreadofoppression。Thegapingwoundofmywrongs,too,wasnowquitehealed;andtheflameofresentmentextinguished。

  \'Youshallgointothebreakfast—roomfirst,\'saidBessie,assheprecededmethroughthehall;\'theyoungladieswillbethere。\'

  InanothermomentIwaswithinthatapartment。TherewaseveryarticleoffurniturelookingjustasitdidonthemorningIwasfirstintroducedtoMr。Brocklehurst:theveryrughehadstooduponstillcoveredthehearth。Glancingatthebookcases,IthoughtIcoulddistinguishthetwovolumesofBewick\'sBritishBirdsoccupyingtheiroldplaceonthethirdshelf,andGulliver\'sTravelsandtheArabianNightsrangedjustabove。Theinanimateobjectswerenotchanged;butthelivingthingshadalteredpastrecognition。

  Twoyoungladiesappearedbeforeme;oneverytall,almostastallasMissIngram—verythintoo,withasallowfaceandseveremien。Therewassomethingasceticinherlook,wasaugmentedbytheextremeplainnessofastraight—skirted,black,stuffdress,astarchedlinencollar,haircombedawayfromthetemples,andthenun—likeornamentofastringofebonybeadsandacrucifix。ThisI

  feltsurewasEliza,thoughIcouldtracelittleresemblancetoherformerselfinthatelongatedandcolourlessvisage。

  TheotherwasascertainlyGeorgiana:butnottheGeorgianaI

  remembered—theslimandfairy—likegirlofeleven。Thiswasafull—blown,veryplumpdamsel,fairaswaxwork,withhandsomeandregularfeatures,languishingblueeyes,andringletedyellowhair。

  Thehueofherdresswasblacktoo;butitsfashionwassodifferentfromhersister\'s—somuchmoreflowingandbecoming—itlookedasstylishastheother\'slookedpuritanical。

  Ineachofthesisterstherewasonetraitofthemother—

  andonlyone;thethinandpallidelderdaughterhadherparent\'sCairngormeye:thebloomingandluxuriantyoungergirlhadhercontourofjawandchin—perhapsalittlesoftened,butstillimpartinganindescribablehardnesstothecountenance,otherwisesovoluptuousandbuxom。

  Bothladies,asIadvanced,rosetowelcomeme,andbothaddressedmebythenameof\'MissEyre。\'Eliza\'sgreetingwasdeliveredinashort,abruptvoice,withoutasmile;andthenshesatdownagain,fixedhereyesonthefire,andseemedtoforgetme。

  Georgianaaddedtoher\'Howd\'yedo?\'severalcommonplacesaboutmyjourney,theweather,andsoon,utteredinratheradrawlingtone:

  andaccompaniedbysundryside—glancesthatmeasuredmefromheadtofoot—nowtraversingthefoldsofmydrabmerinopelisse,andnowlingeringontheplaintrimmingofmycottagebonnet。Youngladieshavearemarkablewayoflettingyouknowthattheythinkyoua\'quiz\'

  withoutactuallysayingthewords。Acertainsuperciliousnessoflook,coolnessofmanner,nonchalanceoftone,expressfullytheirsentimentsonthepoint,withoutcommittingthembyanypositiverudenessinwordordeed。

  Asneer,however,whethercovertoropen,hadnownolongerthatpowerovermeitoncepossessed:asIsatbetweenmycousins,IwassurprisedtofindhoweasyIfeltunderthetotalneglectoftheoneandthesemi—sarcasticattentionsoftheother—Elizadidnotmortify,norGeorgianaruffleme。Thefactwas,Ihadotherthingstothinkabout;withinthelastfewmonthsfeelingshadbeenstirredinmesomuchmorepotentthananytheycouldraise—painsandpleasuressomuchmoreacuteandexquisitehadbeenexcitedthananyitwasintheirpowertoinflictorbestow—thattheirairsgavemenoconcerneitherforgoodorbad。

  \'HowisMrs。Reed?\'Iaskedsoon,lookingcalmlyatGeorgiana,whothoughtfittobridleatthedirectaddress,asifitwereanunexpectedliberty。

  \'Mrs。Reed?Ah,mama,youmean;sheisextremelypoorly:

  Idoubtifyoucanseeherto—night。\'

  \'If,\'saidI,\'youwouldjuststepupstairsandtellherIamcome,Ishouldbemuchobligedtoyou。\'

  Georgianaalmoststarted,andsheopenedherblueeyeswildandwide。\'Iknowshehadaparticularwishtoseeme,\'Iadded,\'andI

  wouldnotdeferattendingtoherdesirelongerthanisabsolutelynecessary。\'

  \'Mamadislikesbeingdisturbedinanevening,\'remarkedEliza。I

  soonrose,quietlytookoffmybonnetandgloves,uninvited,andsaidIwouldjuststepouttoBessie—whowas,Idaredsay,inthekitchen—andaskhertoascertainwhetherMrs。Reedwasdisposedtoreceivemeornotto—night。Iwent,andhavingfoundBessieanddespatchedheronmyerrand,Iproceededtotakefurthermeasures。

  Ithadheretoforebeenmyhabitalwaystoshrinkfromarrogance:

  receivedasIhadbeento—day,Ishould,ayearago,haveresolvedtoquitGatesheadtheverynextmorning;now,itwasdisclosedtomeallatoncethatthatwouldbeafoolishplan。Ihadtakenajourneyofahundredmilestoseemyaunt,andImuststaywithhertillshewasbetter—ordead:astoherdaughters\'prideorfolly,Imustputitononeside,makemyselfindependentofit。SoIaddressedthehousekeeper;askedhertoshowmearoom,toldherIshouldprobablybeavisitorhereforaweekortwo,hadmytrunkconveyedtomychamber,andfolloweditthithermyself:ImetBessieonthelanding。

  \'Missisisawake,\'saidshe;\'Ihavetoldheryouarehere:

  comeandletusseeifshewillknowyou。\'

  Ididnotneedtobeguidedtothewell—knownroom,towhichI

  hadsooftenbeensummonedforchastisementorreprimandinformerdays。IhastenedbeforeBessie;Isoftlyopenedthedoor:ashadedlightstoodonthetable,foritwasnowgettingdark。Therewasthegreatfour—postbedwithamberhangingsasofold;therethetoilet—table,thearm—chair,andthefootstool,atwhichIhadahundredtimesbeensentencedtokneel,toaskpardonforoffencesbymeuncommitted。Ilookedintoacertaincornernear,halfexpectingtoseetheslimoutlineofaoncedreadedswitchwhichusedtolurkthere,waitingtoleapoutimp—likeandlacemyquiveringpalmorshrinkingneck。Iapproachedthebed;Iopenedthecurtainsandleantoverthehigh—piledpillows。

  WelldidIrememberMrs。Reed\'sface,andIeagerlysoughtthefamiliarimage。Itisahappythingthattimequellsthelongingsofvengeanceandhushesthepromptingsofrageandaversion。Ihadleftthiswomaninbitternessandhate,andIcamebacktohernowwithnootheremotionthanasortofruthforhergreatsufferings,andastrongyearningtoforgetandforgiveallinjuries—tobereconciledandclasphandsinamity。

  Thewell—knownfacewasthere:stern,relentlessasever—

  therewasthatpeculiareyewhichnothingcouldmelt,andthesomewhatraised,imperious,despoticeyebrow。Howoftenhaditloweredonmemenaceandhate!andhowtherecollectionofchildhood\'sterrorsandsorrowsrevivedasItraceditsharshlinenow!AndyetIstoopeddownandkissedher:shelookedatme。

  \'IsthisJaneEyre?\'shesaid。

  \'Yes,AuntReed。Howareyou,dearaunt?\'

  IhadoncevowedthatIwouldnevercallherauntagain:

  I

  thoughtitnosintoforgetandbreakthatvownow。Myfingershadfastenedonherhandwhichlayoutsidethesheet:hadshepressedminekindly,Ishouldatthatmomenthaveexperiencedtruepleasure。Butunimpressionablenaturesarenotsosoonsoftened,norarenaturalantipathiessoreadilyeradicated。Mrs。Reedtookherhandaway,and,turningherfaceratherfromme,sheremarkedthatthenightwaswarm。Againsheregardedmesoicily,Ifeltatoncethatheropinionofme—herfeelingtowardsme—wasunchangedandunchangeable。

  Iknewbyherstonyeye—opaquetotenderness,indissolubletotears—thatshewasresolvedtoconsidermebadtothelast;becausetobelievemegoodwouldgivehernogenerouspleasure:onlyasenseofmortification。

  Ifeltpain,andthenIfeltire;andthenIfeltadeterminationtosubdueher—tobehermistressinspitebothofhernatureandherwill。Mytearshadrisen,justasinchildhood:Iorderedthembacktotheirsource。Ibroughtachairtothebed—head:Isatdownandleanedoverthepillow。

  \'Yousentforme,\'Isaid,\'andIamhere;anditismyintentiontostaytillIseehowyougeton。\'

  \'Oh,ofcourse!Youhaveseenmydaughters?\'

  \'Yes。\'

  \'Well,youmaytellthemIwishyoutostaytillIcantalksomethingsoverwithyouIhaveonmymind:to—nightitistoolate,andI

  haveadifficultyinrecallingthem。ButtherewassomethingI

  wishedtosay—letmesee—\'

  Thewanderinglookandchangedutterancetoldwhatwreckhadtakenplaceinheroncevigorousframe。Turningrestlessly,shedrewthebedclothesroundher;myelbow,restingonacornerofthequilt,fixeditdown:shewasatonceirritated。

  \'Situp!\'saidshe;\'don\'tannoymewithholdingtheclothesfast。AreyouJaneEyre?\'

  \'IamJaneEyre。\'

  \'Ihavehadmoretroublewiththatchildthananyonewouldbelieve。Suchaburdentobeleftonmyhands—andsomuchannoyanceasshecausedme,dailyandhourly,withherincomprehensibledisposition,andhersuddenstartsoftemper,andhercontinual,unnaturalwatchingsofone\'smovements!Ideclareshetalkedtomeoncelikesomethingmad,orlikeafiend—nochildeverspokeorlookedasshedid;Iwasgladtogetherawayfromthehouse。WhatdidtheydowithheratLowood?Thefeverbrokeoutthere,andmanyofthepupilsdied。She,however,didnotdie:butIsaidshedid—Iwishshehaddied!\'

  \'Astrangewish,Mrs。Reed;whydoyouhateherso?\'

  \'Ihadadisliketohermotheralways;forshewasmyhusband\'sonlysister,andagreatfavouritewithhim:heopposedthefamily\'sdisowningherwhenshemadeherlowmarriage;andwhennewscameofherdeath,heweptlikeasimpleton。Hewouldsendforthebaby;

  thoughIentreatedhimrathertoputitouttonurseandpayforitsmaintenance。IhateditthefirsttimeIsetmyeyesonit—asickly,whining,piningthing!Itwouldwailinitscradleallnightlong—notscreamingheartilylikeanyotherchild,butwhimperingandmoaning。Reedpitiedit;andheusedtonurseitandnoticeitasifithadbeenhisown:more,indeed,thanheevernoticedhisownatthatage。Hewouldtrytomakemychildrenfriendlytothelittlebeggar:thedarlingscouldnotbearit,andhewasangrywiththemwhentheyshowedtheirdislike。Inhislastillness,hehaditbroughtcontinuallytohisbedside;andbutanhourbeforehedied,heboundmebyvowtokeepthecreature。Iwouldassoonhavebeenchargedwithapauperbratoutofaworkhouse:buthewasweak,naturallyweak。Johndoesnotatallresemblehisfather,andIamgladofit:Johnislikemeandlikemybrothers—heisquiteaGibson。Oh,Iwishhewouldceasetormentingmewithlettersformoney!Ihavenomoremoneytogivehim:wearegettingpoor。Imustsendawayhalftheservantsandshutuppartofthehouse;orletitoff。Icanneversubmittodothat—yethowarewetogeton?

  Two—thirdsofmyincomegoesinpayingtheinterestofmortgages。Johngamblesdreadfully,andalwaysloses—poorboy!Heisbesetbysharpers:Johnissunkanddegraded—hislookisfrightful—IfeelashamedforhimwhenIseehim。\'

  Shewasgettingmuchexcited。\'IthinkIhadbetterleavehernow,\'

  saidItoBessie,whostoodontheothersideofthebed。

  \'Perhapsyouhad,Miss:butsheoftentalksinthiswaytowardsnight—inthemorningsheiscalmer。\'

  Irose。\'Stop!\'exclaimedMrs。Reed,\'thereisanotherthingI

  wishedtosay。Hethreatensme—hecontinuallythreatensmewithhisowndeath,ormine:andIdreamsometimesthatIseehimlaidoutwithagreatwoundinhisthroat,orwithaswollenandblackenedface。I

  amcometoastrangepass:Ihaveheavytroubles。Whatistobedone?Howisthemoneytobehad?\'

  Bessienowendeavouredtopersuadehertotakeasedativedraught:shesucceededwithdifficulty。Soonafter,Mrs。Reedgrewmorecomposed,andsankintoadozingstate。Ithenlefther。

  MorethantendayselapsedbeforeIhadagainanyconversationwithher。Shecontinuedeitherdeliriousorlethargic;andthedoctorforbadeeverythingwhichcouldpainfullyexciteher。Meantime,IgotonaswellasIcouldwithGeorgianaandEliza。Theywereverycold,indeed,atfirst。Elizawouldsithalfthedaysewing,reading,orwriting,andscarcelyutterawordeithertomeorhersister。

  Georgianawouldchatternonsensetohercanarybirdbythehour,andtakenonoticeofme。ButIwasdeterminednottoseematalossforoccupationoramusement:Ihadbroughtmydrawingmaterialswithme,andtheyservedmeforboth。

  Providedwithacaseofpencils,andsomesheetsofpaper,Iusedtotakeaseatapartfromthem,nearthewindow,andbusymyselfinsketchingfancyvignettes,representinganyscenethathappenedmomentarilytoshapeitselfintheever—shiftingkaleidoscopeofimagination:aglimpseofseabetweentworocks;therisingmoon,andashipcrossingitsdisk;agroupofreedsandwater—flags,andanaiad\'shead,crownedwithlotus—flowers,risingoutofthem;anelfsittinginahedge—sparrow\'snest,underawreathofhawthorn—bloom。

  OnemorningIfelltosketchingaface:whatsortofafaceitwastobe,Ididnotcareorknow。Itookasoftblackpencil,gaveitabroadpoint,andworkedaway。SoonIhadtracedonthepaperabroadandprominentforeheadandasquareloweroutlineofvisage:thatcontourgavemepleasure;myfingersproceededactivelytofillitwithfeatures。Strongly—markedhorizontaleyebrowsmustbetracedunderthatbrow;thenfollowed,naturally,awell—definednose,withastraightridgeandfullnostrils;thenaflexible—lookingmouth,bynomeansnarrow;thenafirmchin,withadecidedcleftdownthemiddleofit:ofcourse,someblackwhiskerswerewanted,andsomejettyhair,tuftedonthetemples,andwavedabovetheforehead。Nowfortheeyes:Ihadleftthemtothelast,becausetheyrequiredthemostcarefulworking。Idrewthemlarge;Ishapedthemwell:theeyelashesItracedlongandsombre;theiridslustrousandlarge。

  \'Good!butnotquitethething,\'Ithought,asIsurveyedtheeffect:\'theywantmoreforceandspirit\';andIwroughttheshadesblacker,thatthelightsmightflashmorebrilliantly—ahappytouchortwosecuredsuccess。There,Ihadafriend\'sfaceundermygaze;

  andwhatdiditsignifythatthoseyoungladiesturnedtheirbacksonme?Ilookedatit;Ismiledatthespeakinglikeness:Iwasabsorbedandcontent。

  \'Isthataportraitofsomeoneyouknow?\'askedEliza,whohadapproachedmeunnoticed。Irespondedthatitwasmerelyafancyhead,andhurrieditbeneaththeothersheets。Ofcourse,Ilied:itwas,infact,averyfaithfulrepresentationofMr。Rochester。Butwhatwasthattoher,ortoanyonebutmyself?Georgianaalsoadvancedtolook。Theotherdrawingspleasedhermuch,butshecalledthat\'anuglyman。\'Theybothseemedsurprisedatmyskill。I

  offeredtosketchtheirportraits;andeach,inturn,satforapenciloutline。ThenGeorgianaproducedheralbum。Ipromisedtocontributeawater—colourdrawing:thisputheratonceintogoodhumour。Sheproposedawalkinthegrounds。Beforewehadbeenouttwohours,weweredeepinaconfidentialconversation:shehadfavouredmewithadescriptionofthebrilliantwintershehadspentinLondontwoseasonsago—oftheadmirationshehadthereexcited—theattentionshehadreceived;andIevengothintsofthetitledconquestshehadmade。Inthecourseoftheafternoonandeveningthesehintswereenlargedon:varioussoftconversationswerereported,andsentimentalscenesrepresented;and,inshort,avolumeofanoveloffashionablelifewasthatdayimprovisedbyherformybenefit。Thecommunicationswererenewedfromdaytoday:theyalwaysranonthesametheme—herself,herloves,andwoes。Itwasstrangesheneveronceadvertedeithertohermother\'sillness,orherbrother\'sdeath,orthepresentgloomystateofthefamilyprospects。Hermindseemedwhollytakenupwithreminiscencesofpastgaiety,andaspirationsafterdissipationstocome。Shepassedaboutfiveminuteseachdayinhermother\'ssick—room,andnomore。

  Elizastillspokelittle:shehadevidentlynotimetotalk。I

  neversawabusierpersonthansheseemedtobe;yetitwasdifficulttosaywhatshedid:orrather,todiscoveranyresultofherdiligence。Shehadanalarmtocallherupearly。Iknownothowsheoccupiedherselfbeforebreakfast,butafterthatmealshedividedhertimeintoregularportions,andeachhourhaditsallottedtask。

  Threetimesadayshestudiedalittlebook,whichIfound,oninspection,wasaCommonPrayerBook。Iaskedheroncewhatwasthegreatattractionofthatvolume,andshesaid,\'theRubric。\'Threehoursshegavetostitching,withgoldthread,theborderofasquarecrimsoncloth,almostlargeenoughforacarpet。Inanswertomyinquiriesaftertheuseofthisarticle,sheinformedmeitwasacoveringforthealtarofanewchurchlatelyerectednearGateshead。Twohoursshedevotedtoherdiary;twotoworkingbyherselfinthekitchen—garden;andonetotheregulationofheraccounts。Sheseemedtowantnocompany;noconversation。Ibelieveshewashappyinherway:thisroutinesufficedforher;andnothingannoyedhersomuchastheoccurrenceofanyincidentwhichforcedhertovaryitsclockworkregularity。

  Shetoldmeoneevening,whenmoredisposedtobecommunicativethanusual,thatJohn\'sconduct,andthethreatenedruinofthefamily,hadbeenasourceofprofoundafflictiontoher:butshehadnow,shesaid,settledhermind,andformedherresolution。Herownfortuneshehadtakencaretosecure;andwhenhermotherdied—anditwaswhollyimprobable,shetranquillyremarked,thatsheshouldeitherrecoverorlingerlong—shewouldexecutealong—cherishedproject:

  seekaretirementwherepunctualhabitswouldbepermanentlysecuredfromdisturbance,andplacesafebarriersbetweenherselfandafrivolousworld。IaskedifGeorgianawouldaccompanyher。

  \'Ofcoursenot。Georgianaandshehadnothingincommon:

  theyneverhadhad。Shewouldnotbeburdenedwithhersocietyforanyconsideration。Georgianashouldtakeherowncourse;andshe,Eliza,wouldtakehers。\'

  Georgiana,whennotunburdeningherhearttome,spentmostofhertimeinlyingonthesofa,frettingaboutthedulnessofthehouse,andwishingoverandoveragainthatherauntGibsonwouldsendheraninvitationuptotown。\'Itwouldbesomuchbetter,\'shesaid,\'ifshecouldonlygetoutofthewayforamonthortwo,tillallwasover。\'Ididnotaskwhatshemeantby\'allbeingover,\'butI

  supposeshereferredtotheexpecteddeceaseofhermotherandthegloomysequeloffuneralrites。Elizagenerallytooknomorenoticeofhersister\'sindolenceandcomplaintsthanifnosuchmurmuring,loungingobjecthadbeenbeforeher。Oneday,however,assheputawayheraccount—bookandunfoldedherembroidery,shesuddenlytookherupthus—

  \'Georgiana,amorevainandabsurdanimalthanyouwascertainlyneverallowedtocumbertheearth。Youhadnorighttobeborn,foryoumakenouseoflife。Insteadoflivingfor,in,andwithyourself,asareasonablebeingought,youseekonlytofastenyourfeeblenessonsomeotherperson\'sstrength:ifnoonecanbefoundwillingtoburdenherorhimselfwithsuchafat,weak,puffy,uselessthing,youcryoutthatyouareill—treated,neglected,miserable。Then,too,existenceforyoumustbeasceneofcontinualchangeandexcitement,orelsetheworldisadungeon:youmustbeadmired,youmustbecourted,youmustbeflattered—youmusthavemusic,dancing,andsociety—oryoulanguish,youdieaway。Haveyounosensetodeviseasystemwhichwillmakeyouindependentofallefforts,andallwills,butyourown?Takeoneday;shareitintosections;toeachsectionapportionitstask:leavenostrayunemployedquartersofanhour,tenminutes,fiveminutes—includeall;doeachpieceofbusinessinitsturnwithmethod,withrigidregularity。Thedaywillclosealmostbeforeyouareawareithasbegun;andyouareindebtedtonooneforhelpingyoutogetridofonevacantmoment:

  youhavehadtoseeknoone\'scompany,conversation,sympathyforbearance;youhavelived,inshort,asanindependentbeingoughttodo。Takethisadvice:thefirstandlastIshallofferyou;thenyouwillnotwantmeoranyoneelse,happenwhatmay。Neglectit—

  goonasheretofore,craving,whining,andidling—andsuffertheresultsofyouridiocy,howeverbadandinsufferabletheymaybe。I

  tellyouthisplainly;andlisten:forthoughIshallnomorerepeatwhatIamnowabouttosay,Ishallsteadilyactonit。Aftermymother\'sdeath,Iwashmyhandsofyou:fromthedayhercoffiniscarriedtothevaultinGatesheadChurch,youandIwillbeasseparateasifwehadneverknowneachother。Youneednotthinkthatbecausewechancedtobebornofthesameparents,Ishallsufferyoutofastenmedownbyeventhefeeblestclaim:Icantellyouthis—

  ifthewholehumanrace,ourselvesexcepted,weresweptaway,andwetwostoodaloneontheearth,Iwouldleaveyouintheoldworld,andbetakemyselftothenew。\'

  Sheclosedherlips。

点击下载App,搜索"JANE EYRE",免费读到尾