ButIlikedhisphysiognomyevenlessthanbefore:itstruckmeasbeingatthesametimeunsettledandinanimate。Hiseyewandered,andhadnomeaninginitswandering:thisgavehimanoddlook,suchasIneverrememberedtohaveseen。Forahandsomeandnotanunamiable—lookingman,herepelledmeexceedingly:therewasnopowerinthatsmooth—skinnedfaceofafullovalshape:nofirmnessinthataquilinenoseandsmallcherrymouth;therewasnothoughtonthelow,evenforehead;nocommandinthatblank,browneye。
AsIsatinmyusualnook,andlookedathimwiththelightofthegirandolesonthemantelpiecebeamingfulloverhim—forheoccupiedanarm—chairdrawnclosetothefireandkeptshrinkingstillnearer,asifhewerecold—IcomparedhimwithMr。Rochester。Ithink(withdeferencebeitspoken)thecontrastcouldnotbemuchgreaterbetweenasleekganderandafiercefalcon:betweenameeksheepandtherough—coatedkeen—eyeddog,itsguardian。
HehadspokenofMr。Rochesterasanoldfriend。Acuriousfriendshiptheirsmusthavebeen:apointedillustration,indeed,oftheoldadagethat\'extremesmeet。\'
Twoorthreeofthegentlemensatnearhim,andIcaughtattimesscrapsoftheirconversationacrosstheroom。AtfirstIcouldnotmakemuchsenseofwhatIheard;forthediscourseofLouisaEshtonandMaryIngram,whosatnearertome,confusedthefragmentarysentencesthatreachedmeatintervals。Theselastwerediscussingthestranger;theybothcalledhim\'abeautifulman。\'Louisasaidhewas\'aloveofacreature,\'andshe\'adoredhim\';andMaryinstancedhis\'prettylittlemouth,andnicenose,\'asheridealofthecharming。
\'Andwhatasweet—temperedforeheadhehast\'criedLouisa,—
\'sosmooth—noneofthosefrowningirregularitiesIdislikesomuch;andsuchaplacideyeandsmile!\'
Andthen,tomygreatrelief,Mr。HenryLynnsummonedthemtotheothersideoftheroom,tosettlesomepointaboutthedeferredexcursiontoHayCommon。
Iwasnowabletoconcentratemyattentiononthegroupbythefire,andIpresentlygatheredthatthenewcomerwascalledMr。Mason;
thenIlearnedthathewasbutjustarrivedinEngland,andthathecamefromsomehotcountry:whichwasthereason,doubtless,hisfacewassosallow,andthathesatsonearthehearth,andworeasurtoutinthehouse。PresentlythewordsJamaica,Kingston,SpanishTown,indicatedtheWestIndiesashisresidence;anditwaswithnolittlesurpriseIgathered,erelong,thathehadtherefirstseenandbecomeacquaintedwithMr。Rochester。Hespokeofhisfriend\'sdislikeoftheburningheats,thehurricanes,andrainyseasonsofthatregion。IknewMr。Rochesterhadbeenatraveller:Mrs。Fairfaxhadsaidso;butIthoughtthecontinentofEuropehadboundedhiswanderings;tillnowIhadneverheardahintgivenofvisitstomoredistantshores。
Iwasponderingthesethings,whenanincident,andasomewhatunexpectedone,brokethethreadofmymusings。Mr。Mason,shiveringassomeonechancedtoopenthedoor,askedformorecoaltobeputonthefire,whichhadburntoutitsflame,thoughitsmassofcinderstillshonehotandred。Thefootmanwhobroughtthecoal,ingoingout,stoppednearMr。Eshton\'schair,andsaidsomethingtohiminalowvoice,ofwhichIheardonlythewords,\'oldwoman,\'—\'quitetroublesome。\'
\'Tellhersheshallbeputinthestocksifshedoesnottakeherselfoff,\'repliedthemagistrate。
\'No—stop!\'interruptedColonelDent。\'Don\'tsendheraway,Eshton;
wemightturnthethingtoaccount;betterconsulttheladies。\'Andspeakingaloud,hecontinued—\'Ladies,youtalkedofgoingtoHayCommontovisitthegipsycamp;SamheresaysthatoneoftheoldMotherBunchesisintheservants\'hallatthismoment,andinsistsuponbeingbroughtinbefore\"thequality,\"totellthemtheirfortunes。Wouldyouliketoseeher?\'
\'Surely,colonel,\'criedLadyIngram,\'youwouldnotencouragesuchalowimpostor?Dismissher,byallmeans,atonce!\'
\'ButIcannotpersuadehertogoaway,mylady,\'saidthefootman;\'norcananyoftheservants:Mrs。Fairfaxiswithherjustnow,entreatinghertobegone;butshehastakenachairinthechimney—corner,andsaysnothingshallstirherfromittillshegetsleavetocomeinhere。\'
\'Whatdoesshewant?\'askedMrs。Eshton。
\'\"Totellthegentrytheirfortunes,\"shesays,ma\'am;
andsheswearsshemustandwilldoit。\'
\'Whatisshelike?\'inquiredtheMissesEshton,inabreath。
\'Ashockinglyuglyoldcreature,miss;almostasblackasacrock。\'
\'Why,she\'sarealsorceress!\'criedFrederickLynn。\'Letushaveherin,ofcourse。\'
\'Tobesure,\'rejoinedhisbrother;\'itwouldbeathousandpitiestothrowawaysuchachanceoffun。\'
\'Mydearboys,whatareyouthinkingabout?\'exclaimedMrs。Lynn。
\'Icannotpossiblycountenanceanysuchinconsistentproceeding,\'
chimedintheDowagerIngram。
\'Indeed,mama,butyoucan—andwill,\'pronouncedthehaughtyvoiceofBlanche,assheturnedroundonthepiano—stool;wheretillnowshehadsatsilent,apparentlyexaminingsundrysheetsofmusic。\'Ihaveacuriositytohearmyfortunetold:therefore,Sam,orderthebeldameforward。\'
\'MydarlingBlanche!recollect—\'
\'Ido—Irecollectallyoucansuggest;andImusthavemywill—
quick,Sam!\'
\'Yes—yes—yes!\'criedallthejuveniles,bothladiesandgentlemen。\'Lethercome—itwillbeexcellentsport!\'
Thefootmanstilllingered。\'Shelookssucharoughone,\'
saidhe。
\'Go!\'ejaculatedMissIngram,andthemanwent。
Excitementinstantlyseizedthewholeparty:arunningfireofrailleryandjestswasproceedingwhenSamreturned。
\'Shewon\'tcomenow,\'saidhe。\'Shesaysit\'snothermissiontoappearbeforethe\"vulgarherd\"(them\'sherwords)。Imustshowherintoaroombyherself,andthenthosewhowishtoconsulthermustgotoheronebyone。\'
\'Youseenow,myqueenlyBlanche,\'beganLadyIngram,\'sheencroaches。Beadvised,myangelgirl—and—\'
\'Showherintothelibrary,ofcourse,\'cutinthe\'angelgirl,\'
\'Itisnotmymissiontolistentoherbeforethevulgarherdeither:Imeantohaveheralltomyself。Isthereafireinthelibrary?\'
\'Yes,ma\'am—butshelookssuchatinkler。\'
\'Ceasethatchatter,blockhead!anddomybidding。\'
AgainSamvanished;andmystery,animation,expectationrosetofullflowoncemore。
\'She\'sreadynow,\'saidthefootman,ashereappeared。
\'Shewishestoknowwhowillbeherfirstvisitor。\'
\'IthinkIhadbetterjustlookinuponherbeforeanyoftheladiesgo,\'saidColonelDent。
\'Tellher,Sam,agentlemaniscoming。\'
Samwentandreturned。
\'Shesays,sir,thatshe\'llhavenogentlemen;theyneednottroublethemselvestocomenearher;nor,\'headded,withdifficultysuppressingatitter,\'anyladieseither,excepttheyoungandsingle。\'
\'ByJove,shehastaste!\'exclaimedHenryLynn。
MissIngramrosesolemnly:\'Igofirst,\'shesaid,inatonewhichmighthavebefittedtheleaderofaforlornhope,mountingabreachinthevanofhismen。
\'Oh,mybest!oh,mydearest!pause—reflect!\'washermama\'scry;butshesweptpastherinstatelysilence,passedthroughthedoorwhichColonelDentheldopen,andweheardherenterthelibrary。
Acomparativesilenceensued。LadyIngramthoughtit\'lecas\'towringherhands:whichshedidaccordingly。MissMarydeclaredshefelt,forherpart,sheneverdaredventure。AmyandLouisaEshtontitteredundertheirbreath,andlookedalittlefrightened。
Theminutespassedveryslowly:fifteenwerecountedbeforethelibrary—dooragainopened。MissIngramreturnedtousthroughthearch。
Wouldshelaugh?Wouldshetakeitasajoke?Alleyesmetherwithaglanceofeagercuriosity,andshemetalleyeswithoneofrebuffandcoldness;shelookedneitherflurriednormerry:shewalkedstifflytoherseat,andtookitinsilence。
\'Well,Blanche?\'saidLordIngram。
\'Whatdidshesay,sister?\'askedMary。
\'Whatdidyouthink?Howdoyoufeel?Isshearealfortune—teller?\'demandedtheMissesEshton。
\'Now,now,goodpeople,\'returnedMissIngram,\'don\'tpressuponme。Reallyyourorgansofwonderandcredulityareeasilyexcited:youseem,bytheimportanceyouall—mygoodmamaincluded—ascribetothismatter,absolutelytobelievewehaveagenuinewitchinthehouse,whoisinclosealliancewiththeoldgentleman。Ihaveseenagipsyvagabond;shehaspractisedinhackneyedfashionthescienceofpalmistryandtoldmewhatsuchpeopleusuallytell。Mywhimisgratified;andnowIthinkMr。Eshtonwilldowelltoputthehaginthestocksto—morrowmorning,ashethreatened。\'
MissIngramtookabook,leantbackinherchair,andsodeclinedfurtherconversation。Iwatchedherfornearlyhalfanhour:duringallthattimesheneverturnedapage,andherfacegrewmomentlydarker,moredissatisfied,andmoresourlyexpressiveofdisappointment。Shehadobviouslynotheardanythingtoheradvantage:
anditseemedtome,fromherprolongedfitofgloomandtaciturnity,thatsheherself,notwithstandingherprofessedindifference,attachedundueimportancetowhateverrevelationshadbeenmadeher。
Meantime,MaryIngram,AmyandLouisaEshton,declaredtheydarednotgoalone;andyettheyallwishedtogo。Anegotiationwasopenedthroughthemediumoftheambassador,Sam;andaftermuchpacingtoandfro,till,Ithink,thesaidSam\'scalvesmusthaveachedwiththeexercise,permissionwasatlast,withgreatdifficulty,extortedfromtherigorousSibyl,forthethreetowaituponherinabody。
TheirvisitwasnotsostillasMissIngram\'shadbeen:
weheardhystericalgigglingandlittleshrieksproceedingfromthelibrary;
andattheendofabouttwentyminutestheyburstthedooropen,andcamerunningacrossthehall,asiftheywerehalf—scaredoutoftheirwits。
\'Iamsuresheissomethingnotright!\'theycried,oneandall。
\'Shetoldussuchthings!Sheknowsallaboutus!\'andtheysankbreathlessintothevariousseatsthegentlemenhastenedtobringthem。
Pressedforfurtherexplanation,theydeclaredshehadtoldthemofthingstheyhadsaidanddonewhentheyweremerechildren;
describedbooksandornamentstheyhadintheirboudoirsathome:
keepsakesthatdifferentrelationshadpresentedtothem。Theyaffirmedthatshehadevendivinedtheirthoughts,andhadwhisperedintheearofeachthenameofthepersonshelikedbestintheworld,andinformedthemofwhattheymostwishedfor。
Herethegentlemeninterposedwithearnestpetitionstobefurtherenlightenedonthesetwolast—namedpoints;buttheygotonlyblushes,ejaculations,tremors,andtitters,inreturnfortheirimportunity。Thematrons,meantime,offeredvinaigrettesandwieldedfans;andagainandagainreiteratedtheexpressionoftheirconcernthattheirwarninghadnotbeentakenintime;andtheeldergentlemenlaughed,andtheyoungerurgedtheirservicesontheagitatedfairones。
Inthemidstofthetumult,andwhilemyeyesandearswerefullyengagedinthescenebeforeme,Iheardahemcloseatmyelbow:I
turned,andsawSam。
\'Ifyouplease,miss,thegipsydeclaresthatthereisanotheryoungsingleladyintheroomwhohasnotbeentoheryet,andsheswearsshewillnotgotillshehasseenall。Ithoughtitmustbeyou:thereisnooneelseforit。WhatshallItellher?\'
\'Oh,Iwillgobyallmeans,\'Ianswered:andIwasgladoftheunexpectedopportunitytogratifymymuch—excitedcuriosity。Islippedoutoftheroom,unobservedbyanyeye—forthecompanyweregatheredinonemassaboutthetremblingtriojustreturned—andI
closedthedoorquietlybehindme。
\'Ifyoulike,miss,\'saidSam,\'I\'llwaitinthehallforyou;
andifshefrightensyou,justcallandI\'llcomein。\'
\'No,Sam,returntothekitchen:Iamnotintheleastafraid。\'NorwasI;butIwasagooddealinterestedandexcited。
chapter19
CHAPTERXIX
THElibrarylookedtranquilenoughasIenteredit,andtheSibyl—ifSibylshewere—wasseatedsnuglyenoughinaneasy—chairatthechimney—corner。Shehadonaredcloakandablackbonnet:orrather,abroad—brimmedgipsyhat,tieddownwithastripedhandkerchiefunderherchin。Anextinguishedcandlestoodonthetable;shewasbendingoverthefire,andseemedreadinginalittleblackbook,likeaprayer—book,bythelightoftheblaze:shemutteredthewordstoherself,asmostoldwomendo,whilesheread;
shedidnotdesistimmediatelyonmyentrance:itappearedshewishedtofinishaparagraph。
Istoodontherugandwarmedmyhands,whichwererathercoldwithsittingatadistancefromthedrawing—roomfire。IfeltnowascomposedaseverIdidinmylife:therewasnothingindeedinthegipsy\'sappearancetotroubleone\'scalm。Sheshutherbookandslowlylookedup;herhat—brimpartiallyshadedherface,yetIcouldsee,assheraisedit,thatitwasastrangeone。Itlookedallbrownandblack:elf—locksbristledoutfrombeneathawhitebandwhichpassedunderherchin,andcamehalfoverhercheeks,orratherjaws:hereyeconfrontedmeatonce,withaboldanddirectgaze。
\'Well,andyouwantyourfortunetold?\'shesaid,inavoiceasdecidedasherglance,asharshasherfeatures。
\'Idon\'tcareaboutit,mother;youmaypleaseyourself:
butI
oughttowarnyou,Ihavenofaith。\'
\'It\'slikeyourimpudencetosayso:Iexpecteditofyou;
I
hearditinyourstepasyoucrossedthethreshold。\'
\'Didyou?You\'veaquickear。\'
\'Ihave;andaquickeyeandaquickbrain。\'
\'Youneedthemallinyourtrade。\'
\'Ido;especiallywhenI\'vecustomerslikeyoutodealwith。Whydon\'tyoutremble?\'
\'I\'mnotcold。\'
\'Whydon\'tyouturnpale?\'
\'Iamnotsick。\'
\'Whydon\'tyouconsultmyart?\'
\'I\'mnotsilly。\'
Theoldcrone\'nichered\'alaughunderherbonnetandbandage;
shethendrewoutashortblackpipe,andlightingitbegantosmoke。Havingindulgedawhileinthissedative,sheraisedherbentbody,tookthepipefromherlips,andwhilegazingsteadilyatthefire,saidverydeliberately—
\'Youarecold;youaresick;andyouaresilly。\'
\'Proveit,\'Irejoined。
\'Iwill,infewwords。Youarecold,becauseyouarealone:
nocontactstrikesthefirefromyouthatisinyou。Youaresick;
becausethebestoffeelings,thehighestandthesweetestgiventoman,keepsfarawayfromyou。Youaresilly,because,sufferasyoumay,youwillnotbeckonittoapproach,norwillyoustironesteptomeetitwhereitwaitsyou。\'
Sheagainputhershortblackpipetoherlips,andrenewedhersmokingwithvigour。
\'Youmightsayallthattoalmostanyonewhoyouknewlivedasasolitarydependantinagreathouse。\'
\'Imightsayittoalmostanyone:butwoulditbetrueofalmostanyone?\'
\'Inmycircumstances。\'
\'Yes;justso,inyourcircumstances:butfindmeanotherpreciselyplacedasyouare。\'
\'Itwouldbeeasytofindyouthousands。\'
\'Youcouldscarcelyfindmeone。Ifyouknewit,youarepeculiarlysituated:verynearhappiness;yes,withinreachofit。Thematerialsareallprepared;thereonlywantsamovementtocombinethem。Chancelaidthemsomewhatapart;letthembeonceapproachedandblissresults。\'
\'Idon\'tunderstandenigmas。Inevercouldguessariddleinmylife。\'
\'Ifyouwishmetospeakmoreplainly,showmeyourpalm。\'
\'AndImustcrossitwithsilver,Isuppose?\'
\'Tobesure。\'
Igaveherashilling:sheputitintoanoldstocking—footwhichshetookoutofherpocket,andhavingtieditroundandreturnedit,shetoldmetoholdoutmyhand。Idid。Sheapproachedherfacetothepalm,andporedoveritwithouttouchingit。
\'Itistoofine,\'saidshe。\'Icanmakenothingofsuchahandasthat;almostwithoutlines:besides,whatisinapalm?Destinyisnotwrittenthere。\'
\'Ibelieveyou,\'saidI。
\'No,\'shecontinued,\'itisintheface:ontheforehead,abouttheeyes,intheeyesthemselves,inthelinesofthemouth。Kneel,andliftupyourhead。\'
\'Ah!nowyouarecomingtoreality,\'Isaid,asIobeyedher。\'I
shallbegintoputsomefaithinyoupresently。\'
Ikneltwithinhalfayardofher。Shestirredthefire,sothatarippleoflightbrokefromthedisturbedcoal:theglare,however,asshesat,onlythrewherfaceintodeepershadow:mine,itillumined。
\'Iwonderwithwhatfeelingsyoucametometo—night,\'
shesaid,whenshehadexaminedmeawhile。\'Iwonderwhatthoughtsarebusyinyourheartduringallthehoursyousitinyonderroomwiththefinepeopleflittingbeforeyoulikeshapesinamagic—lantern:justaslittlesympatheticcommunionpassingbetweenyouandthemasiftheywerereallymereshadowsofhumanforms,andnottheactualsubstance。\'
\'Ifeeltiredoften,sleepysometimes,butseldomsad。\'
\'Thenyouhavesomesecrethopetobuoyyouupandpleaseyouwithwhispersofthefuture?\'
\'NotI。TheutmostIhopeis,tosavemoneyenoughoutofmyearningstosetupaschoolsomedayinalittlehouserentedbymyself。\'
\'Ameannutrimentforthespirittoexiston:andsittinginthatwindow—seat(youseeIknowyourhabits)—\'
\'Youhavelearnedthemfromtheservants。\'
\'Ah!youthinkyourselfsharp。Well,perhapsIhave:tospeaktruth,Ihaveanacquaintancewithoneofthem,Mrs。Poole—\'
IstartedtomyfeetwhenIheardthename。
\'Youhave—haveyou?\'thoughtI;\'thereisdiablerieinthebusinessafterall,then!\'
\'Don\'tbealarmed,\'continuedthestrangebeing;\'she\'sasafehandisMrs。Poole:closeandquiet;anyonemayreposeconfidenceinher。
But,asIwassaying:sittinginthatwindow—seat,doyouthinkofnothingbutyourfutureschool?Haveyounopresentinterestinanyofthecompanywhooccupythesofasandchairsbeforeyou?Istherenotonefaceyoustudy?onefigurewhosemovementsyoufollowwithatleastcuriosity?\'
\'Iliketoobserveallthefacesandallthefigures。\'
\'Butdoyouneversingleonefromtherest—oritmaybe,two?\'
\'Idofrequently;whenthegesturesorlooksofapairseemtellingatale:itamusesmetowatchthem。\'
\'Whattaledoyoulikebesttohear?\'
\'Oh,Ihavenotmuchchoice!Theygenerallyrunonthesametheme—courtship;andpromisetoendinthesamecatastrophe—
marriage。\'
\'Anddoyoulikethatmonotonoustheme?\'
\'Positively,Idon\'tcareaboutit:itisnothingtome。\'
\'Nothingtoyou?Whenalady,youngandfulloflifeandhealth,charmingwithbeautyandendowedwiththegiftsofrankandfortune,sitsandsmilesintheeyesofagentlemanyou—\'
\'Iwhat?\'
\'Youknow—andperhapsthinkwellof。\'
\'Idon\'tknowthegentlemenhere。Ihavescarcelyinterchangedasyllablewithoneofthem;andastothinkingwellofthem,Iconsidersomerespectable,andstately,andmiddle—aged,andothersyoung,dashing,handsome,andlively:butcertainlytheyareallatlibertytobetherecipientsofwhosesmilestheyplease,withoutmyfeelingdisposedtoconsiderthetransactionofanymomenttome。\'
\'Youdon\'tknowthegentlemenhere?Youhavenotexchangedasyllablewithoneofthem?Willyousaythatofthemasterofthehouse!\'
\'Heisnotathome。\'
\'Aprofoundremark!Amostingeniousquibble!HewenttoMillcotethismorning,andwillbebackhereto—nightorto—morrow:doesthatcircumstanceexcludehimfromthelistofyouracquaintance—blothim,asitwere,outofexistence?\'
\'No;butIcanscarcelyseewhatMr。Rochesterhastodowiththethemeyouhadintroduced。\'
\'Iwastalkingofladiessmilingintheeyesofgentlemen;
andoflatesomanysmileshavebeenshedintoMr。Rochester\'seyesthattheyoverflowliketwocupsfilledabovethebrim:haveyouneverremarkedthat?\'
\'Mr。Rochesterhasarighttoenjoythesocietyofhisguests。\'
\'Noquestionabouthisright:buthaveyouneverobservedthat,ofallthetalestoldhereaboutmatrimony,Mr。Rochesterhasbeenfavouredwiththemostlivelyandthemostcontinuous?\'
\'Theeagernessofalistenerquickensthetongueofanarrator。\'
Isaidthisrathertomyselfthantothegipsy,whosestrangetalk,voice,manner,hadbythistimewrappedmeinakindofdream。Oneunexpectedsentencecamefromherlipsafteranother,tillIgotinvolvedinawebofmystification;andwonderedwhatunseenspirithadbeensittingforweeksbymyheartwatchingitsworkingsandtakingrecordofeverypulse。
\'Eagernessofalistener!\'repeatedshe:\'yes;Mr。Rochesterhassatbythehour,hisearinclinedtothefascinatinglipsthattooksuchdelightintheirtaskofcommunicating;andMr。Rochesterwassowillingtoreceiveandlookedsogratefulforthepastimegivenhim;youhavenoticedthis?\'
\'Grateful!Icannotrememberdetectinggratitudeinhisface。\'
\'Detecting!Youhaveanalysed,then。Andwhatdidyoudetect,ifnotgratitude?\'
Isaidnothing。
\'Youhaveseenlove:haveyounot?—and,lookingforward,youhaveseenhimmarried,andbeheldhisbridehappy?\'
\'Humph!Notexactly。Yourwitch\'sskillisratheratfaultsometimes。\'
\'Whatthedevilhaveyouseen,then?\'
\'Nevermind:Icameheretoinquire,nottoconfess。IsitknownthatMr。Rochesteristobemarried?\'
\'Yes;andtothebeautifulMissIngram。\'
\'Shortly?\'
\'Appearanceswouldwarrantthatconclusion:and,nodoubt(though,withanaudacitythatwantschastisingoutofyou,youseemtoquestionit),theywillbeasuperlativelyhappypair。Hemustlovesuchahandsome,noble,witty,accomplishedlady;andprobablysheloveshim,or,ifnothisperson,atleasthispurse。IknowsheconsiderstheRochesterestateeligibletothelastdegree;though(Godpardonme!)Itoldhersomethingonthatpointaboutanhouragowhichmadeherlookwondrousgrave:thecornersofhermouthfellhalfaninch。Iwouldadviseherblack—avicedsuitortolookout:
ifanothercomes,withalongerorclearerrent—roll,—he\'sdished—\'
\'But,mother,IdidnotcometohearMr。Rochester\'sfortune:
I
cametohearmyown;andyouhavetoldmenothingofit。\'
\'Yourfortuneisyetdoubtful:whenIexaminedyourface,onetraitcontradictedanother。Chancehasmetedyouameasureofhappiness:
thatIknow。IknewitbeforeIcameherethisevening。Shehaslaiditcarefullyononesideforyou。Isawherdoit。Itdependsonyourselftostretchoutyourhand,andtakeitup:butwhetheryouwilldoso,istheproblemIstudy。Kneelagainontherug。\'
\'Don\'tkeepmelong;thefirescorchesme。\'
Iknelt。Shedidnotstooptowardsme,butonlygazed,leaningbackinherchair。Shebeganmuttering,—
\'Theflameflickersintheeye;theeyeshineslikedew;
itlookssoftandfulloffeeling;itsmilesatmyjargon;itissusceptible;
impressionfollowsimpressionthroughitsclearsphere;whereitceasestosmile,itissad;anunconsciouslassitudeweighsonthelid:thatsignifiesmelancholyresultingfromloneliness。Itturnsfromme;itwillnotsufferfurtherscrutiny;itseemstodeny,byamockingglance,thetruthofthediscoveriesIhavealreadymade,—
todisownthechargebothofsensibilityandchagrin:itsprideandreserveonlyconfirmmeinmyopinion。Theeyeisfavourable。
\'Astothemouth,itdelightsattimesinlaughter;itisdisposedtoimpartallthatthebrainconceives;thoughIdaresayitwouldbesilentonmuchtheheartexperiences。Mobileandflexible,itwasneverintendedtobecompressedintheeternalsilenceofsolitude;itisamouthwhichshouldspeakmuchandsmileoften,andhavehumanaffectionforitsinterlocutor。Thatfeaturetooispropitious。
\'Iseenoenemytoafortunateissuebutinthebrow;andthatbrowprofessestosay,—\"Icanlivealone,ifself—respectandcircumstancesrequiremesotodo。Ineednotsellmysoultobuybliss。Ihaveaninwardtreasurebornwithme,whichcankeepmealiveifallextraneousdelightsshouldbewithheld,orofferedonlyatapriceIcannotaffordtogive。\"Theforeheaddeclares,\"Reasonsitsfirmandholdsthereins,andshewillnotletthefeelingsburstawayandhurryhertowildchasms。Thepassionsmayragefuriously,liketrueheathens,astheyare;andthedesiresmayimagineallsortsofvainthings:butjudgmentshallstillhavethelastwordineveryargument,andthecastingvoteineverydecision。Strongwind,earthquake—shock,andfiremaypassby:butIshallfollowtheguidingofthatstillsmallvoicewhichinterpretsthedictatesofconscience。\"
\'Wellsaid,forehead;yourdeclarationshallberespected。
Ihaveformedmyplans—rightplansIdeemthem—andinthemIhaveattendedtotheclaimsofconscience,thecounselsofreason。Iknowhowsoonyouthwouldfadeandbloomperish,if,inthecupofblissoffered,butonedregofshame,oroneflavourofremorseweredetected;andIdonotwantsacrifice,sorrow,dissolution—suchisnotmytaste。Iwishtofoster,nottoblight—toearngratitude,nottowringtearsofblood—no,norofbrine:myharvestmustbeinsmiles,inendearments,insweet—Thatwilldo。IthinkIraveinakindofexquisitedelirium。Ishouldwishnowtoprotractthismomentadinfinitum;butIdarenot。SofarIhavegovernedmyselfthoroughly。IhaveactedasIinwardlysworeIwouldact;butfurthermighttrymebeyondmystrength。Rise,MissEyre:leaveme;