occasionallyalsoturningafascinatedeyetowardsthedimlygleamingmirror—IbegantorecallwhatIhadheardofdeadmen，troubledintheirgravesbytheviolationoftheirlastwishes，revisitingtheearthtopunishtheperjuredandavengetheoppressed;andIthoughtMr。Reed\'sspirit，harassedbythewrongsofhissister\'schild，mightquititsabode—whetherinthechurchvaultorintheunknownworldofthedeparted—andrisebeforemeinthischamber。Iwipedmytearsandhushedmysobs，fearfullestanysignofviolentgriefmightwakenapreternaturalvoicetocomfortme，orelicitfromthegloomsomehaloedface，bendingovermewithstrangepity。Thisidea，consolatoryintheory，Ifeltwouldbeterribleifrealised:withallmymightIendeavouredtostifleit—
Iendeavouredtobefirm。Shakingmyhairfrommyeyes，Iliftedmyheadandtriedtolookboldlyroundthedarkroom;atthismomentalightgleamedonthewall。Wasit，Iaskedmyself，arayfromthemoonpenetratingsomeapertureintheblind？No;moonlightwasstill，andthisstirred;whileIgazed，itglideduptotheceilingandquiveredovermyhead。Icannowconjecturereadilythatthisstreakoflightwas，inalllikelihood，agleamfromalanterncarriedbysomeoneacrossthelawn:butthen，preparedasmymindwasforhorror，shakenasmynerveswerebyagitation，Ithoughttheswiftdartingbeamwasaheraldofsomecomingvisionfromanotherworld。
Myheartbeatthick，myheadgrewhot;asoundfilledmyears，whichI
deemedtherushingofwings;somethingseemednearme;Iwasoppressed，suffocated:endurancebrokedown;Irushedtothedoorandshookthelockindesperateeffort。Stepscamerunningalongtheouterpassage;thekeyturned，BessieandAbbotentered。
\'MissEyre，areyouill？\'saidBessie。
\'Whatadreadfulnoise！itwentquitethroughme！\'exclaimedAbbot。
\'Takemeout！Letmegointothenursery！\'wasmycry。
\'Whatfor？Areyouhurt？Haveyouseensomething？\'againdemandedBessie。
\'Oh！Isawalight，andIthoughtaghostwouldcome。\'
IhadnowgotholdofBessie\'shand，andshedidnotsnatchitfromme。
\'Shehasscreamedoutonpurpose，\'declaredAbbot，insomedisgust。
\'Andwhatascream！Ifshehadbeeningreatpainonewouldhaveexcusedit，butsheonlywantedtobringusallhere:Iknowhernaughtytricks。\'
\'Whatisallthis？\'demandedanothervoiceperemptorily;
andMrs。
Reedcamealongthecorridor，hercapflyingwide，hergownrustlingstormily。\'AbbotandBessie，IbelieveIgaveordersthatJaneEyreshouldbeleftinthered—roomtillIcametohermyself。\'
\'MissJanescreamedsoloud，ma\'am，\'pleadedBessie。
\'Lethergo，\'wastheonlyanswer。\'LooseBessie\'shand，child:youcannotsucceedingettingoutbythesemeans，beassured。Iabhorartifice，particularlyinchildren;itismydutytoshowyouthattrickswillnotanswer:youwillnowstayhereanhourlonger，anditisonlyonconditionofperfectsubmissionandstillnessthatI
shallliberateyouthen。\'
\'Oaunt！havepity！forgiveme！Icannotendureit—letmebepunishedsomeotherway！Ishallbekilledif—\'
\'Silence！Thisviolenceisallmostrepulsive:\'andso，nodoubt，shefeltit。Iwasaprecociousactressinhereyes;shesincerely。
lookedonmeasacompoundofvirulentpassions，meanspirit，anddangerousduplicity。
BessieandAbbothavingretreated，Mrs。Reed，impatientofmynowfranticanguishandwildsobs，abruptlythrustmebackandlockedmein，withoutfartherparley。Iheardhersweepingaway;andsoonaftershewasgone，IsupposeIhadaspeciesoffit:
unconsciousnessclosedthescene。
chapter03
CHAPTERIII
THEnextthingIrememberis，wakingupwithafeelingasifI
hadhadafrightfulnightmare，andseeingbeforemeaterribleredglare，crossedwiththickblackbars。Iheardvoices，too，speakingwithahollowsound，andasifmuffledbyarushofwindorwater:
agitation，uncertainty，andanall—predominatingsenseofterrorconfusedmyfaculties。Erelong，Ibecameawarethatsomeonewashandlingme;liftingmeupandsupportingmeinasittingposture，andthatmoretenderlythanIhadeverbeenraisedorupheldbefore。I
restedmyheadagainstapilloworanarm，andfelteasy。
Infiveminutesmorethecloudofbewildermentdissolved:
IknewquitewellthatIwasinmyownbed，andthattheredglarewasthenurseryfire。Itwasnight:acandleburntonthetable;Bessiestoodatthebed—footwithabasininherhand，andagentlemansatinachairnearmypillow，leaningoverme。
Ifeltaninexpressiblerelief，asoothingconvictionofprotectionandsecurity，whenIknewthattherewasastrangerintheroom，anindividualnotbelongingtoGateshead，andnotrelatedtoMrs。Reed。
TurningfromBessie（thoughherpresencewasfarlessobnoxioustomethanthatofAbbot，forinstance，wouldhavebeen），Iscrutinisedthefaceofthegentleman:Iknewhim;itwasMr。Lloyd，anapothecary，sometimescalledinbyMrs。Reedwhentheservantswereailing:forherselfandthechildrensheemployedaphysician。
\'Well，whoamI？\'heasked。
Ipronouncedhisname，offeringhimatthesametimemyhand:hetookit，smilingandsaying，\'Weshalldoverywellbyandby。\'Thenhelaidmedown，andaddressingBessie，chargedhertobeverycarefulthatIwasnotdisturbedduringthenight。Havinggivensomefurtherdirections，andintimatedthatheshouldcallagainthenextday，hedeparted;tomygrief:Ifeltsoshelteredandbefriendedwhilehesatinthechairnearmypillow;andasheclosedthedoorafterhim，alltheroomdarkenedandmyheartagainsank:inexpressiblesadnessweigheditdown。
\'Doyoufeelasifyoushouldsleep，Miss？\'askedBessie，rathersoftly。
ScarcelydaredIanswerher;forIfearedthenextsentencemightberough。\'Iwilltry。\'
\'Wouldyouliketodrink，orcouldyoueatanything？\'
\'No，thankyou，Bessie。\'
\'ThenIthinkIshallgotobed，foritispasttwelveo\'clock;butyoumaycallmeifyouwantanythinginthenight。\'
Wonderfulcivilitythis！Itemboldenedmetoaskaquestion。
\'Bessie，whatisthematterwithme？AmIill？\'
\'Youfellsick，Isuppose，inthered—roomwithcrying;
you\'llbebettersoon，nodoubt。\'
Bessiewentintothehousemaid\'sapartment，whichwasnear。
Iheardhersay—
\'Sarah，comeandsleepwithmeinthenursery;Idaren\'tformylifebealonewiththatpoorchildtonight:shemightdie;it\'ssuchastrangethingsheshouldhavethatfit:Iwonderifshesawanything。Missiswasrathertoohard。\'
Sarahcamebackwithher;theybothwenttobed;theywerewhisperingtogetherforhalfanhourbeforetheyfellasleep。Icaughtscrapsoftheirconversation，fromwhichIwasableonlytoodistinctlytoinferthemainsubjectdiscussed。
\'Somethingpassedher，alldressedinwhite，andvanished\'—
\'A
greatblackdogbehindhim\'—\'Threeloudrapsonthechamberdoor\'—
\'Alightinthechurchyardjustoverhisgrave，\'etc。，etc。
Atlastbothslept:thefireandthecandlewentout。Forme，thewatchesofthatlongnightpassedinghastlywakefulness;ear，eye，andmindwerealikestrainedbydread:suchdreadaschildrenonlycanfeel。
Nosevereorprolongedbodilyillnessfollowedthisincidentofthered—room;itonlygavemynervesashockofwhichIfeelthereverberationtothisday。Yes，Mrs。Reed，toyouIowesomefearfulpangsofmentalsuffering，butIoughttoforgiveyou，foryouknewnotwhatyoudid:whilerendingmyheart—strings，youthoughtyouwereonlyuprootingmybadpropensities。
Nextday，bynoon，Iwasupanddressed，andsatwrappedinashawlbythenurseryhearth。Ifeltphysicallyweakandbrokendown:butmyworseailmentwasanunutterablewretchednessofmind:awretchednesswhichkeptdrawingfrommesilenttears;nosoonerhadIwipedonesaltdropfrommycheekthananotherfollowed。Yet，I
thought，Ioughttohavebeenhappy，fornoneoftheReedswerethere，theywereallgoneoutinthecarriagewiththeirmama。Abbot，too，wassewinginanotherroom，andBessie，asshemovedhitherandthither，puttingawaytoysandarrangingdrawers，addressedtomeeverynowandthenawordofunwontedkindness。Thisstateofthingsshouldhavebeentomeaparadiseofpeace，accustomedasIwastoalifeofceaselessreprimandandthanklessfagging;but，infact，myrackednerveswerenowinsuchastatethatnocalmcouldsoothe，andnopleasureexcitethemagreeably。
Bessiehadbeendownintothekitchen，andshebroughtupwithheratartonacertainbrightlypaintedchinaplate，whosebirdofparadise，nestlinginawreathofconvolvuliandrosebuds，hadbeenwonttostirinmeamostenthusiasticsenseofadmiration;andwhichplateIhadoftenpetitionedtobeallowedtotakeinmyhandinordertoexamineitmoreclosely，buthadalwayshithertobeendeemedunworthyofsuchaprivilege。Thispreciousvesselwasnowplacedonmyknee，andIwascordiallyinvitedtoeatthecircletofdelicatepastryuponit。Vainfavour！coming，likemostotherfavourslongdeferredandoftenwishedfor，toolate！Icouldnoteatthetart;andtheplumageofthebird，thetintsoftheflowers，seemedstrangelyfaded:Iputbothplateandtartaway。BessieaskedifIwouldhaveabook:thewordbookactedasatransientstimulus，andIbeggedhertofetchGulliver\'sTravelsfromthelibrary。ThisbookIhadagainandagainperusedwithdelight。Iconsidereditanarrativeoffacts，anddiscoveredinitaveinofinterestdeeperthanwhatIfoundinfairytales:forastotheelves，havingsoughttheminvainamongfox—gloveleavesandbells，undermushroomsandbeneaththeground—ivymantlingoldwall—nooks，Ihadatlengthmadeupmymindtothesadtruth，thattheywereallgoneoutofEnglandtosomesavagecountrywherethewoodswerewilderandthicker，andthepopulationmorescant;whereas，LilliputandBrobdingnagbeing，inmycreed，solidpartsoftheearth\'ssurface，IdoubtednotthatI
mightoneday，bytakingalongvoyage，seewithmyowneyesthelittlefields，houses，andtrees，thediminutivepeople，thetinycows，sheep，andbirdsoftheonerealm;andthecorn—fields，forest—high，themightymastiffs，themonstercats，thetower—likemenandwomen，oftheother。Yet，whenthischerishedvolumewasnowplacedinmyhand—whenIturnedoveritsleaves，andsoughtinitsmarvellouspicturesthecharmIhad，tillnow，neverfailedtofind—
allwaseerieanddreary;thegiantsweregauntgoblins，thepigmiesmalevolentandfearfulimps，Gulliveramostdesolatewandererinmostdreadanddangerousregions。Iclosedthebook，whichIdarednolongerperuse，andputitonthetable，besidetheuntastedtart。
Bessiehadnowfinisheddustingandtidyingtheroom，andhavingwashedherhands，sheopenedacertainlittledrawer，fullofsplendidshredsofsilkandsatin，andbeganmakinganewbonnetforGeorgiana\'sdoll。Meantimeshesang:hersongwas—
\'Inthedayswhenweweregipsying，Alongtimeago。\'
Ihadoftenheardthesongbefore，andalwayswithlivelydelight;forBessiehadasweetvoice，—atleast，Ithoughtso。Butnow，thoughhervoicewasstillsweet，Ifoundinitsmelodyanindescribablesadness。Sometimes，preoccupiedwithherwork，shesangtherefrainverylow，verylingeringly;\'Alongtimeago\'cameoutlikethesaddestcadenceofafuneralhymn。Shepassedintoanotherballad，thistimeareallydolefulone。
\'Myfeettheyaresore，andmylimbstheyareweary;
Longistheway，andthemountainsarewild;
SoonwillthetwilightclosemoonlessanddrearyOverthepathofthepoororphanchild。
Whydidtheysendmesofarandsolonely，Upwherethemoorsspreadandgreyrocksarepiled？
Menarehard—hearted，andkindangelsonlyWatcho\'erthestepsofapoororphanchild。
Yetdistantandsoftthenightbreezeisblowing，Cloudstherearenone，andclearstarsbeammild，God，inHismercy，protectionisshowing，Comfortandhopetothepoororphanchild。
Ev\'nshouldIfallo\'erthebrokenbridgepassing，Orstrayinthemarshes，byfalselightsbeguiled，StillwillmyFather，withpromiseandblessing，TaketoHisbosomthepoororphanchild。
Thereisathoughtthatforstrengthshouldavailme，Thoughbothofshelterandkindreddespoiled;
Heavenisahome，andarestwillnotfailme;
Godisafriendtothepoororphanchild。\'
\'Come，MissJane，don\'tcry，\'saidBessieasshefinished。
Shemightaswellhavesaidtothefire，\'don\'tburn！\'buthowcouldshedivinethemorbidsufferingtowhichIwasaprey？InthecourseofthemorningMr。Lloydcameagain。
\'What，alreadyup！\'saidhe，asheenteredthenursery。
\'Well，nurse，howisshe？\'
BessieansweredthatIwasdoingverywell。
\'Thensheoughttolookmorecheerful。Comehere，MisJane:
yournameisJane，isitnot？\'
\'Yes，sir，JaneEyre。\'
\'Well，youhavebeencrying，MissJaneEyre;canyoutellmewhatabout？Haveyouanypain？\'
\'No，sir。\'
\'Oh！IdaresaysheiscryingbecauseshecouldnotgooutwithMissisinthecarriage，\'interposedBessie。
\'Surelynot！why，sheistoooldforsuchpettishness。\'
Ithoughtsotoo;andmyself—esteembeingwoundedbythefalsecharge，Iansweredpromptly，\'Inevercriedforsuchathinginmylife:Ihategoingoutinthecarriage。IcrybecauseIammiserable。\'
\'Ohfie，Miss！\'saidBessie。
Thegoodapothecaryappearedalittlepuzzled。Iwasstandingbeforehim;hefixedhiseyesonmeverysteadily:hiseyesweresmallandgrey;notverybright，butIdaresayIshouldthinkthemshrewdnow:hehadahard—featuredyetgood—naturedlookingface。Havingconsideredmeatleisure，hesaid—
\'Whatmadeyouillyesterday？\'
\'Shehadafall，\'saidBessie，againputtinginherword。
\'Fall！why，thatislikeababyagain！Can\'tshemanagetowalkatherage？Shemustbeeightornineyearsold。\'
\'Iwasknockeddown，\'wasthebluntexplanation，jerkedoutofmebyanotherpangofmortifiedpride;\'butthatdidnotmakemeill，\'
Iadded;whileMr。Lloydhelpedhimselftoapinchofsnuff。
Ashewasreturningtheboxtohiswaistcoatpocket，aloudbellrangfortheservants\'dinner;heknewwhatitwas。\'That\'sforyou，nurse，\'saidhe;\'youcangodown;I\'llgiveMissJanealecturetillyoucomeback。\'
Bessiewouldratherhavestayed，butshewasobligedtogo，becausepunctualityatmealswasrigidlyenforcedatGates—headHall。
\'Thefalldidnotmakeyouill;whatdid，then？\'pursuedMr。
LloydwhenBessiewasgone。
\'Iwasshutupinaroomwherethereisaghosttillafterdark。\'
IsawMr。Lloydsmileandfrownatthesametime。\'Ghost！
What，youareababyafterall！Youareafraidofghosts？\'
\'OfMr。Reed\'sghostIam:hediedinthatroom，andwaslaidoutthere。NeitherBessienoranyoneelsewillgointoitatnight，iftheycanhelpit;anditwascrueltoshutmeupalonewithoutacandle，—socruelthatIthinkIshallneverforgetit。\'
\'Nonsense！Andisitthatmakesyousomiserable？Areyouafraidnowindaylight？\'
\'No:butnightwillcomeagainbeforelong:andbesides，—
Iamunhappy，—veryunhappy，forotherthings。\'
\'Whatotherthings？Canyoutellmesomeofthem？\'
HowmuchIwishedtoreplyfullytothisquestion！Howdifficultitwastoframeanyanswer！Childrencanfeel，buttheycannotanalysetheirfeelings;andiftheanalysisispartiallyeffectedinthought，theyknownothowtoexpresstheresultoftheprocessinwords。Fearful，however，oflosingthisfirstandonlyopportunityofrelievingmygriefbyimpartingit，I，afteradisturbedpause，contrivedtoframeameagre，though，asfarasitwent，trueresponse。
\'Foronething，Ihavenofatherormother，brothersorsisters。\'
\'Youhaveakindauntandcousins。\'
AgainIpaused;thenbunglinglyenounced—
\'ButJohnReedknockedmedown，andmyauntshutmeupinthered—room。\'
Mr。Lloydasecondtimeproducedhissnuff—box。
\'Don\'tyouthinkGatesheadHallaverybeautifulhouse？\'
askedhe。\'Areyounotverythankfultohavesuchafineplacetoliveat？\'
\'Itisnotmyhouse，sir;andAbbotsaysIhavelessrighttobeherethanaservant。\'
\'Pooh！youcan\'tbesillyenoughtowishtoleavesuchasplendidplace？\'
\'IfIhadanywhereelsetogo，Ishouldbegladtoleaveit;butIcannevergetawayfromGatesheadtillIamawoman。\'
\'Perhapsyoumay—whoknows？HaveyouanyrelationsbesidesMrs。
Reed？\'
\'Ithinknot，sir。\'
\'Nonebelongingtoyourfather？\'
\'Idon\'tknow:IaskedAuntReedonce，andshesaidpossiblyI
mighthavesomepoor，lowrelationscalledEyre，butsheknewnothingaboutthem。\'
\'Ifyouhadsuch，wouldyouliketogotothem？\'
Ireflected。Povertylooksgrimtogrownpeople;stillmoresotochildren:theyhavenotmuchideaofindustrious，working，respectablepoverty;theythinkofthewordonlyasconnectedwithraggedclothes，scantyfood，firelessgrates，rudemanners，anddebasingvices:
povertyformewassynonymouswithdegradation。
\'No;Ishouldnotliketobelongtopoorpeople，\'wasmyreply。
\'Noteveniftheywerekindtoyou？\'
Ishookmyhead:Icouldnotseehowpoorpeoplehadthemeansofbeingkind;andthentolearntospeaklikethem，toadopttheirmanners，tobeuneducated，togrowuplikeoneofthepoorwomenIsawsometimesnursingtheirchildrenorwashingtheirclothesatthecottagedoorsofthevillageofGateshead:no，Iwasnotheroicenoughtopurchaselibertyatthepriceofcaste。
\'Butareyourrelativessoverypoor？Aretheyworkingpeople？\'
\'Icannottell;AuntReedsaysifIhaveany，theymustbeabeggarlyset:Ishouldnotliketogoa—begging。\'
\'Wouldyouliketogotoschool？\'
AgainIreflected:Iscarcelyknewwhatschoolwas:Bessiesometimesspokeofitasaplacewhereyoungladiessatinthestocks，worebackboards，andwereexpectedtobeexceedinglygenteelandprecise:JohnReedhatedhisschool，andabusedhismaster;butJohnReed\'stasteswerenoruleformine，andifBessie\'saccountsofschool—discipline（gatheredfromtheyoungladiesofafamilywhereshehadlivedbeforecomingtoGateshead）weresomewhatappalling，herdetailsofcertainaccomplishmentsattainedbythesesameyoungladieswere，Ithought，equallyattractive。Sheboastedofbeautifulpaintingsoflandscapesandflowersbythemexecuted;ofsongstheycouldsingandpiecestheycouldplay，ofpursestheycouldnet，ofFrenchbookstheycouldtranslate;tillmyspiritwasmovedtoemulationasIlistened。Besides，schoolwouldbeacompletechange:
itimpliedalongjourney，anentireseparationfromGateshead，anentranceintoanewlife。
\'Ishouldindeedliketogotoschool，\'wastheaudibleconclusionofmymusings。
\'Well，well！whoknowswhatmayhappen？\'saidMr。Lloyd，ashegotup。\'Thechildoughttohavechangeofairandscene，\'headded，speakingtohimself;\'nervesnotinagoodstate。\'
Bessienowreturned;atthesamemomentthecarriagewasheardrollingupthegravel—walk。
\'Isthatyourmistress，nurse？\'askedMr。Lloyd。\'IshouldliketospeaktoherbeforeIgo。\'
Bessieinvitedhimtowalkintothebreakfast—room，andledthewayout。IntheinterviewwhichfollowedbetweenhimandMrs。Reed，I
presume，fromafter—occurrences，thattheapothecaryventuredtorecommendmybeingsenttoschool;andtherecommendationwasnodoubtreadilyenoughadopted;forasAbbotsaid，indiscussingthesubjectwithBessiewhenbothsatsewinginthenurseryonenight，afterIwasinbed，and，astheythought，asleep，\'Missiswas，shedaredsay，gladenoughtogetridofsuchatiresome，ill—conditionedchild，whoalwayslookedasifshewerewatchingeverybody，andschemingplotsunderhand。\'Abbot，Ithink，gavemecreditforbeingasortofinfantineGuyFawkes。
OnthatsameoccasionIlearned，forthefirsttime，fromMissAbbot\'scommunicationstoBessie，thatmyfatherhadbeenapoorclergyman;thatmymotherhadmarriedhimagainstthewishesofherfriends，whoconsideredthematchbeneathher;thatmygrandfatherReedwassoirritatedatherdisobedience，hecutheroffwithoutashilling;thataftermymotherandfatherhadbeenmarriedayear，thelattercaughtthetyphusfeverwhilevisitingamongthepoorofalargemanufacturingtownwherehiscuracywassituated，andwherethatdiseasewasthenprevalent:thatmymothertooktheinfectionfromhim，andbothdiedwithinamonthofeachother。
Bessie，whensheheardthisnarrative，sighedandsaid，\'PoorMissJaneistobepitiedtoo，Abbot。\'
\'Yes，\'respondedAbbot;\'ifshewereanice，prettychild，onemightcompassionateherforlornness;butonereallycannotcareforsuchalittletoadasthat。\'
\'Notagreatdeal，tobesure，\'agreedBessie:\'atanyrate，abeautylikeMissGeorgianawouldbemoremovinginthesamecondition。\'
\'Yes，IdoatonMissGeorgiana！\'criedtheferventAbbot。
\'Littledarling！—withherlongcurlsandherblueeyes，andsuchasweetcolourasshehas;justasifshewerepainted！—Bessie，IcouldfancyaWelshrabbitforsupper。\'
\'SocouldI—witharoastonion。Come，we\'llgodown。\'
Theywent。
chapter04
CHAPTERIV
FROMmydiscoursewithMr。Lloyd，andfromtheabovereportedconferencebetweenBessieandAbbot，Igatheredenoughofhopetosufficeasamotiveforwishingtogetwell:achangeseemednear，—
Idesiredandwaiteditinsilence。Ittarried，however:daysandweekspassed:Ihadregainedmynormalstateofhealth，butnonewallusionwasmadetothesubjectoverwhichIbrooded。Mrs。Reedsurveyedmeattimeswithasevereeye，butseldomaddressedme:sincemyillness，shehaddrawnamoremarkedlineofseparationthaneverbetweenmeandherownchildren;appointingmeasmallclosettosleepinbymyself，condemningmetotakemymealsalone，andpassallmytimeinthenursery，whilemycousinswereconstantlyinthedrawing—room。Notahint，however，didshedropaboutsendingmetoschool:stillIfeltaninstinctivecertaintythatshewouldnotlongenduremeunderthesameroofwithher;forherglance，nowmorethanever，whenturnedonme，expressedaninsuperableandrootedaversion。
ElizaandGeorgiana，evidentlyactingaccordingtoorders，spoketomeaslittleaspossible:Johnthrusthistongueinhischeekwheneverhesawme，andonceattemptedchastisement;butasIinstantlyturnedagainsthim，rousedbythesamesentimentofdeepireanddesperaterevoltwhichhadstirredmycorruptionbefore，hethoughtitbettertodesist，andranfrommeutteringexecrations，andvowingI
hadbursthisnose。Ihadindeedlevelledatthatprominentfeatureashardablowasmyknucklescouldinflict;andwhenIsawthateitherthatormylookdauntedhim，Ihadthegreatestinclinationtofollowupmyadvantagetopurpose;buthewasalreadywithhismama。
I
heardhiminablubberingtonecommencethetaleofhow\'thatnastyJaneEyre\'hadflownathimlikeamadcat:hewasstoppedratherharshly—
\'Don\'ttalktomeabouther，John:Itoldyounottogonearher;
sheisnotworthyofnotice;Idonotchoosethateitheryouoryoursistersshouldassociatewithher。\'
Here，leaningoverthebanister，Icriedoutsuddenly，andwithoutatalldeliberatingonmywords—
\'Theyarenotfittoassociatewithme。\'
Mrs。Reedwasratherastoutwoman;but，onhearingthisstrangeandaudaciousdeclaration，sherannimblyupthestair，sweptmelikeawhirlwindintothenursery，andcrushingmedownontheedgeofmycrib，daredmeinanemphaticvoicetorisefromthatplace，orutteronesyllableduringtheremainderoftheday。
\'WhatwouldUncleReedsaytoyou，ifhewerealive？\'wasmyscarcelyvoluntarydemand。Isayscarcelyvoluntary，foritseemedasifmytonguepronouncedwords，withoutmywillconsentingtotheirutterance:somethingspokeoutofmeoverwhichIhadnocontrol。
\'What？\'saidMrs。Reedunderherbreath:herusuallycoldcomposedgreyeyebecametroubledwithalooklikefear;shetookherhandfrommyarm，andgazedatmeasifshereallydidnotknowwhetherIwerechildorfiend。Iwasnowinforit。
\'MyUncleReedisinheaven，andcanseeallyoudoandthink;
andsocanpapaandmama:theyknowhowyoushutmeupalldaylong，andhowyouwishmedead。\'
Mrs。Reedsoonralliedherspirits:sheshookmemostsoundly，sheboxedbothmyears，andthenleftmewithoutaword。Bessiesuppliedthehiatusbyahomilyofanhour\'slength，inwhichsheprovedbeyondadoubtthatIwasthemostwickedandabandonedchildeverrearedunderaroof。Ihalfbelievedher;forIfeltindeedonlybadfeelingssurginginmybreast。