\"ThankstoCousinIk.WhenIgetachancetopaintsuchapictureasthisIdo,indeed,wishtomakethemostofit.\"
\"ButhowlongmustMr.Eltingewaitforit?\"
\"IthinkwecansendittohimasaChristmaspresent.\"
\"We?You,rather,willsendit.\"
\"No,WE;orrather,ingivingmethesittingsyougiveMr.Eltingeallthatmakesthepicturevaluabletohim.\"
Ida\'scheeksbegantoburn,fortheartist\'swordssuggestedapowerfultemptationthat;inaccordancewithherimpetuousnature,cameintheformofanimpulseratherthananinsidiousandlurkingthought.Theimpulsewastoacceptoftheopportunitieshepresseduponher,and,ifpossible,winhimawayfromJennieBurton.Atfirstitseemedameananddishonorablethingtodo,andherfacegrewcrimsonwithshameattheverythought.VanBerglookedatherwithsurprise.ConscioushimselfthatwhilehemeantthatMr.Eltingeshouldprofitrichlyfromhervisits,itwasnotbyanymeansforthesakeoftheoldgentlemanonlythathehadbeenrequestinghertocomesooften,hisowncolorbegantorise.
\"Shebeginstoseethatmymotivesarealittlemixed,andthatiswhatisembarrassingher,\"hethoughtashebentoverhisworktohidehisownconfusion.
\"Mr.VanBerg,I\'mgettingtiredofsittingstill,\"Idaexclaimed.
\"It\'scontrarytomyrestlessdisposition.MayInotmakeanexploringtouraroundyourstudio?YouhavenoideawhataconstraintI\'vebeenputtingonmyfemininecuriosity.\"
\"Igiveyoua\'carte-blanche\'todoasyouplease.Haveyoumuchcuriosity?\"
\"I\'madaughterofEve.\"
\"Well,I\'mcomingtotheconclusionthatthereisagooddealof\'oldAdam\'inme,\"andhefeltthatasshethenappearedshecouldtempthimtoalmostanything.
Nowthatherbackwastowardshimshefeltsafer,andhermellowlaughtrilledoutasshesaid,\"Wemayhavetodubthisplaceaconfessionalratherthanastudioofyoutalkinthatway.\"
\"IfIconfessedallmysinsagainstyou,MissMayhew,itwould,indeed,beaconfessional.\"Hespokesoearnestlythatshegavehimaquickglanceofsurprise.
\"Thereisnoneed,\"shesaid,hesitatingly,\"sinceIhavegivenyoufullabsolution,\"andshesuddenlybecameinterestedinsomethinginthefarthestcorneroftheapartment.Afteramomentsheadded,\"IfIamtocomehereImustsaytoyouagain,asIdidonthedayIsodisgustedyoubymybehaviorinthestage——youmustletby-gonesbeby-gones.\"
Itwasnowtheartist\'sturntolaugh,andhismerrimentwassoheartyandprolongedthatsheturnedavexedandcrimsonfacetowardshimandsaid,\"Ithinkit\'stoobadinyoutolaughatmeso.\"
\"MissMayhew,IassureyouI\'mnotlaughingatyouatall.Butyourwordssuggestagoodomen.Didn\'tthatstageteachyouthatfatemeansustobegoodfriendsinspiteofallyoucando?BeforewemetinthatcaroffortuneIhadbeentryingforaweekormoretomakeyouracquaintance,andmadeamartyrofmyselfintheeffort.
Iplayedtheagreeabletonearlyeveryladyinthehotel,andperspiredonpicnicsandboatingpartiesthatIdidnotenjoy.I
playedcroquetandothergamestillIwashalfboredtodeath,andallintheefforttoproducesuchagenialatmosphereofenjoymentandgood-feelingthatyouwouldthawalittletowardsme;butyouwouldn\'tspeaktome,norevenlookatme.AtlastIgaveupindespairandwentoffamongthehillswithmysketch-book,andwhenreturningthatblessedoldstageovertookme.Wasn\'tIpleasedwhenIfoundyouwereafellow-passenger!andletmenowexpressmythanksthatyoulookedsoresolutelyawayfromme,foritgavemeachancetocontrastaprofileinwhichIcoulddetectnofaultwiththebroad,sultryvisageofthestoutwomanoppositeme.Andthen,thankheaven,thehorsesranaway.Whoeverheardofstagehorsesrunningawaybefore?Itwasasmileoffortune——amiracle.
Submittodestiny,MissMayhew,forit\'sdecreedthatweshouldbegoodfriends,\"andhelaughedagaininhugeenjoymentofthewholescene.
InspiteofherselfIdafoundhishumorcontagiousandirresistible,andshelaughedalsotillthetearscameintohereyes.
\"Mr.VanBerg,\"sheexclaimed,\"Ioughttobeindignant,orIoughttobeashamedtolookyouintheface.Idon\'tknowwhatIoughttodo,onlyI\'msureitisn\'ttheproperthingatallformetobelaughinginthisway.IthinkI\'llgohomeatonce,forI\'monlywastingyourtime.
Hisanswerwasnotveryrelevant,forhesaidimpetuously,\"Oh,MissIda,Iwouldgivefiveyearsofmylifetobeabletopaintyourportraitasyounowappear,forthepicturewouldcureoldmelancholyhimselfandfillaprison-cellwithlight.\"
\"Iwon\'tcomehereanymoreifyoulaughatmeso,\"shesaid,puttingonherhat.
\"See,\"hesaid,\"I\'masgraveasajudge.IwillneverlaughATyou,butIhopetolaughWITHyoumanyatime,fortotellyouthetruththeexperiencehasremindedmeofthe\'inextinguishablelaughteroftheGods.\'Pleasedon\'tgoyet.\"
\"IfImustcomesooftenmyvisitsmustbebrief.\"
\"Thenyouwillcome?\"
\"Ihaven\'tpromisedanythingexceptforto-morrow.Good-morning.\"
\"Letmewalkhomewithyou.\"
\"No,positively.Youhavewastedtoomuchtimealready.\"
\"Youwillatleastshakehandsintokenofpeaceandamitybeforewepart?\"
\"Oh,certainly,ifyouthinkitworththewhilewhenwearetomeetsosoonagain.Oh!youhurtme.Youdidthatoncebefore.\"
Hisfacesuddenlybecamegraveandeventenderinitsexpression,ashesaid,inalow,deepvoice,\"Morethanonce,MissIda.Don\'tthinkIforgetorforgivemyselfbecauseyoutreatmesogenerously.\"
Shewouldnotlookupandmeethiseyes,butreplied,intonesthattrembledwithrepressedfeeling,\"Icouldforgiveanythingafteryourmannertowardsfatherthismorning.NeverthinkIcanforgetsuchfavors,\"andthenshesnatchedawayherhandandwentswiftlyout.Hertearsfellfastasshesoughtherhomebyquietstreetswithbowedheadandvaildrawntightlydown,andshemurmured:
\"Icannotgivehimup——Icannot,indeed,Icannot.IfIlosehimitmustbebecausethereisnohelpforit.\"
Thenconscienceuttereditslow,faintprotestandhertearsfellfasterstill.
Whenreachingherroomshethrewherselfonthesofaandsobbed,\"Woulditbesovery,verywrongtowinhimifIcould?shecan\'tlovehimasmuchasIdo.Why,Iwasreadytodieeventowinhisrespect,andnowinthesevisitshegivesmeachancetowinhislove.IshepledgedtoMissBurtonyet?Ifheis,Idonotknowit.Hedoesseemtocareforme——thereisoftensomethinginhisfaceandtonethatwhispershope.IfhelovesherasIlovehimhecouldnotbehereinNewYorkallthisweek.Butit\'sherlovethattroublesme——I\'veseenitinhereyeswhenhewasnotobserving,andIfearshejustworshipshim.Alas,hegaveherreason.Hismannerhasbeenthatofalover,andnoone——heleastofall——wouldthinkofflirtingwithJennieBurton.ButdoesheloverhersodeeplythatIcouldnotwinhimifIhadachance?WoulditbeverywickedifIdid?MustIgiveupmyhappinessforherhappiness?
IcametoNewYorktogetawayfromdangerandtemptationandhereIamrightinthemidstofit.WhatshallIdo!Oh,mySaviour,I\'mhalfafraidtospeaktotheeaboutthis.\"
\"IfIcouldonlyseeMr.Eltinge,\"shemurmured,afteranhourofdistractedthoughtandindecision.\"Thereisnotimetowrite——indeed,Icouldnotwriteonsuchasubject,and——and——I\'mafraidhe\'dadvisemeagainstit.Hecan\'tunderstandawoman\'sfeelingsinacaselikethis,atleasthecouldnotunderstandapassionate,faultygirllikeme.I\'venopatience——nofortitude.
Icoulddieformylove——Ithink,Ihope,Icouldformyfaith,——butIfeelnopowerwithinmetoendurepatientlyyearafteryear.I
wouldbelikethepoor,weakwomentheyshutupintheInquisitionandwhosufferedontotheendonlythroughremorselesscompulsion,becausethewallsweretoothickforescape,andthetormentor\'shandsandtherackwereirresistible.Mysoulwouldsuccumbaswellasmybody.Thiswouldseemwild,wickedtalktoMr.Eltinge;itwouldseemweakandirrationaltoanyman.ButI\'monlyIdaMayhew,andsuchismynature.I\'vebeenmadeallthemoreincapableofpatientself-sacrificebyself-indulgencefrommychildhoodup.
Oh,willitbevery,verywrongtowinhimifIcan?\"andthepassionatetearsandsobsthatfollowedthesewordswouldseemtoindicatethatsheunderstoodhernatureonlytoowell.
Atlastsheconcluded,inwearinessandexhaustion,\"I\'mtooweakanddistractedtothinkanymore.Ihardlyknowwhetherit\'srightorwrong.Ihopeitisn\'tverywrong.Iwon\'tdecidenow.LetmatterstaketheirowncourseastheyhavedoneandImayseeclearerbyandby.\"
Butdeepinherheartshefeltthatthiswasaboutthesameasyieldingtothetemptation.
Shebathedhereyes,triedtothinkhowshecouldspendtheinterveninghoursbeforetheywouldmeetagain.Thenwithasenseofdismayshebegantoconsider,\"Ifwearetomeetsooftenwhatarewetotalkabout?Heoncetriedtoconversewithmeandfoundmesoignoranthecouldn\'t.ItseemedtomeIdidn\'tknowanythingthatevening,andhe\'llsoongrowdisgustedwithmeagainasheseesmypoorlittlepackofknowledgeislikeatramp\'sbundlethathecarriesaroundwithhim.Imustread——Imuststudyeverymoment,orIhaven\'ttheremotestchanceofsuccess.Success!Oh,mercifulheaven!it\'sthesameasifIweresettingaboutitalldeliberatelyandthere\'snouseofdeceivingmyself.Ihopeitisn\'tvery,verywrong.\"
Shewenttoherfather\'slibrarywithflushedcheeksandhesitatingsteps,asifitwerethetreefromwhichshemightpluckthefruitofforbiddenknowledge.Thelongrowsofponderousandneglectedbooksappalledher;shetookdowntwoorthreeandtheyseemedlikeunopenedmines,deepandrocky.Shefeltinstinctivelythattherewasnottimeforhertotransmutetheiroresintogracefulandnaturalmentaladornments.
\"Methuselahhimselfcouldn\'treadthemall,\"sheexclaimed.\"Bythepowers!ifhereisn\'tmorebooksthanIcancarry,ononesubject.
Isupposecartloadshavebeenwrittenaboutart.I\'venodoubthe\'sreadthemall,butInevercan;Ifearmyattempttoreadupisliketryingtogetstrongbyeatingawholeoxatonce.Oh,whydidIwastemyschool-days,andindeedallmylifeasIhave!\"
andshestampedherfootinherimpatienceandirritation.
\"Well,\"shesighedatlast,withagrimsortofhumor;\"ImustdothebestIcan.It\'sthesameasifIwereonadesertisland.I
musttietogethersomesortofaraftinordertocrossthegulfthatseparatesus,forInevercanstandittostayherealone.
SinceIhavenottimetospareImayaswellcommencewiththatencyclopaedia,andlearnalittleaboutasmanythingsaspossible;
thenifheintroducesasubjectheshallatleastseethatIknowwhatheistalkingabout.\"Andduringtheafternoonthepoorgirlploddedthroughseverarticles,oftenrecallingherwanderingthoughtsbyimpatientlittlegestures,andbythetimeherfatherreturnedshewasconsciousofknowingaverylittleindeedaboutanumberofthings.\"Nomatter,\"shethought,compressingherlips,\"Iwon\'tgiveuptillImust.It\'smyonechanceforhappinessinthisworld,andI\'llclingtoitwhilethereisashredofhopeleft.\"
Itwaswithaneagerandresolutefacethatsheconfrontedherfatherthatevening,astheysatdowntodinner.Hethoughtshewoulddescantonherexperiencesofthemorning,andhewasanxiousforachancetosayhowtrulyheappreciatedMr.VanBerg\'scordialmanner,butshesurprisedhimbyaskingabruptly:
\"Father,whendoweelectanotherpresident?\"
Hetoldher,andthenfollowedarapidfireofquestionsaboutthegeneralandstategovernment,andthenamesandcharactersofthemenwhoheldthechiefoffices.AtlastMr.Mayhewlaiddownhisknifeandforkinhisastonishment,andaskedsententiously:
\"Howlongisitsinceyoudecidedtogointopolitics?\"
Ida\'slaughwasveryreassuring,andshesaid,\"Poorfather!I
don\'twonderyouthinkI\'velostmywits,nowthatI\'mtryingtousethefewIhave.Don\'tyousee?Idon\'tknowanythingthat\'sworthknowing.Iwastedmytimeatschool,formyheadwasfullofbeaux,dress,andnonsense.Besides,Idon\'tthinkmyteacherstookmuchpainstomakemeunderstandanything.Atanyrate,mydancing-master,andperhapsmymusic-teacher——alittlebit——aretheonlyonesthathaveanyreasontobeproudoftheresult.NowIwantyoutobrushupyourideasabouteverything,soyoucananswertheendlessquestionsIamgoingtoaskyou.\"
\"Whyblessyou,child,youtakeawaymybreath.Romewasn\'tbuiltinaday.\"
\"ThewaytheybuiltRomewillneveranswerforme.ImustgrowlikeoneofourWesterncitiesthathasamayorandopera-housealmostbeforetheIndiansandwolvesaredrivenoutoftown.SpeakingofRomeremindsmehowlittleIknowofthatcity,andit\'saburningshame,too,forIspentamonththere.\"
\"Well,\"saidMr.Mayhew,withkindlinginterest,\"supposewetakeupacourseofreadingaboutRomeforthewinter.\"
\"Forthewinter!Thatwon\'tdoatall.Can\'tyoutellmesomethingofinterestaboutRomethisevening?\"
\"I\'vealreadymentionedtheinterestingfact——thatitwasn\'tbuiltinaday.Ithinkthat\'sthemostimportantthingthatyouneedtoknowaboutRomeandeverythingelsethisevening.Why,Ida,youcan\'tbecomewiseasanostrichmakesitssupper——byswallowingeverythingthatcomesinitsway.Youarenotabitlikeanostrich.\"
\"Anostrichisasillybirdthatputsitsheadunderthesandandthinsitswholegreatbodyhiddenbecauseitcan\'tseeitself,isn\'tit,father?\"
\"I\'veheardthatstorytoldofit,\"repliedMr.Mayhew,laughing.
\"Anythingbutanostrich,then.Come,I\'llreadtheeveningpapertoyouonconditionyoutellmetheleadingquestionsoftheday.
Whatisjustnowtheleadingquestionoftheday?\"
\"Well,\"saidMr.Mayhew,demurely,butwithasparkleofhumorinhiseye,\"oneoftheleadingquestionsofthisdaywithmehasbeenwhetherMr.VanBergwouldnotenjoydiningwithusto-morroweveningnowthatheisherealoneinthecity?\"
Idainstantlyheldthenewspaperbeforehercrimsonfaceandsaid:
\"Father,yououghttobeashamedthustodivertmymindfromthepursuitofusefulknowledge.\"
Herfathercametohersideandsaidverykindly:\"Ida,darling,youarealittlebitlikeanostrichnow.\"
Shesprangup,and,hidingherfaceonhisshoulder,trembledlikealeaf.\"Oh,father,\"shewhispered,\"Iwouldnothavehimknowfortheworld.Isitsoveryplain?\"
\"Nottohim,mychild,buttheeyesofalovelikemineareverykeen.Soyouneedn\'tbeonyourguardbeforeyouroldfatherasyoumustbebeforehimandtheworld.YoushallhaveonlyrestandsympathyathomeasfarasIcangivethem.Indeed,ifyouwillletme,I\'llbecomeaveryunobtrusive,butperhaps,usefulally.
Atanyrate,I\'lltrynottomakeanystupid,ignorantblunders.
IhavelikeMr.VanBergfromthefirsthourofourmeeting,andIwouldthankGodfromthedepthsofmyheartifthiscouldbe.\"
\"Dear,goodfather,howlittleIunderstoodyou.I\'vebeenlivinginpovertyoveragoldmine.Butfather,I\'msoignorantandMr.
VanBergknowseverything.\"
\"Notquite,you\'llfind.He\'sonlyaman,Ida.Butyoucanneverwinhimthroughpoliticsorbydiscussingwithhimthequestionsoftheday.Thesearenotinyourlinenorhis.\"
\"WhatcanIdo,father.Indeed,itdoesnotseemtomemaidenlytodoanything.\"
\"Itwouldnotbemaidenly,Ida,tosteponehair\'sbreadthbeyondthelineofscrupulous,womanlydelicacy,andbyanysuchcourseyouwouldonlydefeatandthwartyourself.Awomanmustalwaysbesought;andasarule,shelosesassheseeks.ButIstrusttoyourinstinctstoguideyouhere.Youhaveonlytobesimpleandtrue,asyouhavebeensincethehappymiraclethattransformedyou.UnlessamanisinfatuatedasI——butnomatter.Amanthatkeepshissensewelcomestruthfulness——ahighdelicatesenseofhonor——aboveallthingsinawoman,foritgiveshimasenseofsecurityandrest.BytruthfulnessIdonotmeantheindiscreetblurtingoutofthingsthatgoodtastewouldleaveunsaid,butclear-eyedintegritythathidesnoguile.Then,again,unlessamanisblindedbypassionorsomekindofinfatuationheknowsthatthechiefneedofhislifeisahomelightedandwarmedbyanunwaveringlove.Withthesehishappinessandsuccessaresecured,asfarastheycanbeinthisworld,unlessheisabruteandafool,andhasnorighttoexistatall.ButIamgrowingpreachy.
LetmesuggestsomethingsthatIhaveobservedinthisartist.Heisahigh-tonedpaganandworshipsbeauty;butwiththisoutwardperfectionhealsodemandsspiritualloveliness,forwithhimmindandhonorareintheascendant.Headmiredyouimmenselyfromthefirst,andsinceyourcharacterhasbeengrowinginharmonywithyourfacehehassoughtyoursociety.So,besimple,true,andmodest,andyouwillwinhimifthethingispossible.Youwillneverwinhimbybeinganythingelse,andyoumightloseyourownrespectandhistoo.\"
\"I\'llsufferanythingratherthanthat,father.Ithinkyouhadbetternotinvitehimto-morrowevening.\"
\"I\'llbegovernedbywhatIseeto-morrow,\"hereplied,musingly.
\"Bothmybusinessandmyhabitofmindhavetaughtmetoobserveandstudymen\'smotivesandimpulsesveryclosely.Youcouldorderasuitabledinnerafterleavingthestudio,couldyounot?\"
\"Yes,father.\"
\"Well,then,myPrincessIda,I\'llbeyourgrandvizier,andI\'lltreatwiththisforeignpowerwithsuchafinediplomacythatheshallappreciatealltheprivilegesheobtains.Butwewillkeepourself-respecthereafter,Ida,andthenwecanlooktheworldinthefaceandasknooddsofit.\"
\"Yes,father,letuskeepthatatallevents.AndyetI\'monlyawoman.\"
\"Youarethewomanthathasmademehappy,andIthinkthereisanothermanwhowillwanttobemadehappyalso.Andnowwewilldeferallotherquestionsoftheday,forImustgooutforatime.
DonotthinkIundervalueyourcravingforinformation,andyoushallhaveitasfastasyoucantakecareofit.Youhavegrownpaleandthinthissummer,butIdonotexpectyoutobecomeplumpandrosyagaininaday.\"
\"Oh,I\'mrosytoooftenasitis.Whyisitthatgirlsmustblushsoridiculouslywhentheydon\'twantto?That\'sthequestionofthedayforme.Icouldflirtdesperatelyinoldtimes,andyetlookasdemureandcoolasifIwereaninnocent.Butnow,oh!
I\'mfairlyenragedwithmyselfattimes.\"
\"Theysayblushesarelove\'strail,\"saidMr.Mayhewwithalaugh,\"andsinceheisaroundIsupposehemustleavehistracks.Ifyouwishforamorescientificreasonletmeaddthatphysiologyteachesusthatthebloodcomesfromtheheart.Icanassureyou,however,thattherearebutfewgentlemenwhoadmireladiesthatcannotblush,andMr.VanBergisnotoneofthem.\"
Idaspenttheeveningatherpianoinsteadofovertheencyclopaedia,butshesighedagainandagain.
\"Simpleandtrue!IfearJennieBurtonandMr.EltingewouldsayIwasneitheriftheyknewwhatwasinmyheart.ButIcan\'thelpit——Ican\'tgivehimupafterwhathashappenedsinceIcametothecity,unlessImust.\"
Butthemusicsheselectedwassimpleandtrue.Tossingherbrilliantandfloridpiecesimpatientlyaside,sheplayedorsangonlythatwhichwasplaintive,low,andinharmonywithherthoughts.Italsoseemedtohaveapeculiarattractivenesstoatallgentlemanwholingeredsomemomentsbeneaththewindows,andeventookoneortwostepsuptowardsthedoor,andthenturnedandstrodeawayasifconsciousthathemusteitherenterordepartatonce.
ChapterXLIX.TheBlindGod.
TheMissMayhewthatcrossedtheartist\'sthresholdthefollowingmorningmighthavebeentakenasamodelofgracefulself-possession,butshedisguisedamaidenwithasflutteringaheartandtremblingasoulaseverfacedoneofthesuprememomentsofdestiny.Herfather,however,provedafaithfulandintelligentally,andhismannertowardsVanBergwasafineblendingofcourtesyanddignity,suggestingamanascapableofconferringasofreceivingfavors.
HishostwouldindeedhavebeenblindandstupidifhehadtriedtopatronizeMr.Mayhewthatmorning.
Althoughunconsciousofthefact,VanBergwasforatimesubjectedtotheclosestscrutiny.Lovehaddeepifnotdarkdesignsagainsthim,andtheglanceshebentonIdamightsuggestthathewasonlytooreadytobecomeavictim.Hehadwelcomedtohisstudytwoconspiratorswhowerecommittedtotheirplotbythestrongestofmotives,andyettheyweresuchnovelconspiratorsthataword,aglance,anexpressionevenof\"ennui\"orindifferencewouldhavesotouchedtheirpridethattheywouldhaveabandonedtheirwilesateverycosttothemselves.Weretheytryingtoensnarehim?
Neverweresuchfilmsandgossamerthreadsusedinlikeentanglementbefore.Hecouldhavebrushedthemallawaybyonecoldsweepofhiseyes,andthemaidenwhohadnotscrupledatdeathtogainmerelyhisrespect,wouldhaveleftthestudiowithacolderglancethanhis,norwouldherwomanlystrengthhavefailedheruntilshereachedarefugewhichhiseyecouldnotpenetrate;butthen——Godpityher.Thetragediesoverwhichtheangelsweeparethebloodlesswoundsofthespirit.
ButitwouldseemthattheatmosphereofVanBerg\'sstudiothatsummermorningwasnotatallconducivetotragedyofanykind,norwerethereinhisfaceormanneranyindicationsofcomedy,whichtopoorIdawouldhavebeenfarworse;foranairofcareless\"bonhomie\"onhispartwhenshewassodesperatelyinearnestwouldhavemadehissmilesandjestslikeheartlessmockery.
Andyet,inspiteofhismannerthepreviousday,thepoorgirlhadcometothestudiofearingfarmorethanshehoped,andburdenedalsowithatroubledconscience.Shewasalmostsureshewasnotdoingright,andyetthetemptationwastoostrongtoberesisted.
Butwhenhetookherhandingreetingthatmorning,andsaidwithasmilethatseemedtoflashoutfromthedepthsofhissoul,\"Iwon\'thurtyouanymoreifIcanhelpit,\"allscruples,allhesitancyvanishedforatime,likefrostworkinthesun.Hismagnetismwasirresistible,andshefeltthatitwouldrequireallhertactandresolutiontokeephimbysomecareless,randomwordoract,frombrushingasidetheveilbehindwhichshrankhertrembling,andasyet,unsoughtlove.
ButVanBergwasevenararerstudythanthemaiden,andhismannertowardsbothIdaandherfathermightwellleadonetothinkthathewasinclinedtobecomethechiefconspiratorinthedesignagainsthimself.Hehadscarcelybeenconsciousoftimeorplacesincepartingthepreviousdaywiththefriendhewassobentonsecuring,andwhenatlasthesleptinthesmallhoursofthemorninghedreamtthathehadbeencaughtbyamightytidalwavethatwasbearinghimswiftlytowardsheavenonitssilvercrest.
Whenheawoke,thewave,sofarfrombeingabubble,seemedagrandspiritualreality,andhefeltasifhehadalreadyreachedaseventhheavenofvague,undefinedexhilaration.Neverbeforehadlifeappearedsorichapossessionandsofullofgloriouspossibilities.Neverinthepasthadhefelthisprofessiontobesonobleandworthyofhisdevotion,andneverhadthefamehehopedtograspbymeansofitseemedsonear.Beautybecametohimsoinfinitelybeautifulanddivinethathefelthecouldworshipitwereitonlyembodied,andthenwithastrangeandexquisitethrillofexultationheexclaimed:\"Rightorwrong,tomyeyeitisembodiedinIdaMayhew,andshewillfillmystudiowithlightagainto-dayandmanydaystocome.Ifeveranartistwasfortunateinsecuringasafriend,asaninspiration,aperfectandbuddingflowerofpersonalandspiritualloveliness,Iamthathappyman.\"
TheVanBergofotherdayswouldhavecalledtheVanBergthatwaitedimpatientlyforhisgueststhatmorningarhapsodicalfool,andthegreaterpartoftheworldwouldoffernodissent.Theworldisverypronetocalleverymanwhoispossessedbyalittleearnestnessorenthusiasmafool,butitisusuallyanopenquestionwhichisthemorefoolish——theworldortheman;andperhapsweshallalllearnsomedaythattherewasmoreofsanityinourrhapsodiesthanintheshrewdcalculationsthatvergedtowardsmeanness.Bethisasitmayintheabstract,VanBergregardedhimselfasthemostrationalmaninthecitythatmorning.Hedidnottrytoaccountforhismentalstatebymustyandproverbialwisdomorlong-establishedprinciplesofpsychology.Theglad,strongconsciousnessofhisownsoulsatisfiedhimandmadeeverythingappearnatural.SinceheHADthisstrongandgrowingfriendshipforthismaiden,whowasevidentlypleasedtocomeagaintohisstudio,thoughsocoyandshyinadmittingit,whyshouldhenothaveit?Therewasnothinginhiscreedagainstsuchafriendship,andeverythingforit.
Menoftalent,nottomentiongenius,hadeversoughtinspirationfromthosemostcapableofimpartingit,andthisgirl\'sbeautyandcharacterwerekindlinghismindtothatextentthathebegantohopehecouldnowdosomeofthefinestworkofhislife.Thefactthathefelttowardsherthestrongestfriendlyregardwasinitselfenough,andVanBergwastoogoodamodernthinkertodisputewithfacts,especiallyagreeableones.
Thepracticaloutcomeofthefriendshipwhichhelostnochanceofmanifestingthatmorning,wasthatMr.Mayhew,inaneasy,informalmanner,extendedhisinvitation,andtheartistacceptedinawaythatprovedhewasconstrainedbysomethingmorethancourtesyorasenseofduty,andConspiratorNumberTwowalkeddownBroadwaymutteringasdoallconspirators:\"Thoseyoungpeopleareliabletostumbleintoparadiseatanymoment.\"
\"HowdidyoumanagetogetthroughahotAugustdayintownafteryouwerereleasedfromdurancehere?\"askedVanBerg.
\"Idonotknowthatitrequiredanyspecialmanagement,\"repliedIdademurely.\"IsupposeYOUtookanapafteryourseverelaborsofthemorning.\"
\"Nowyouaresatirical.Mylaborwasallintheafternoon,forI
workedfromthetimeyouleftmetilldusk.\"
\"Didn\'tyoustopforlunchordinner?\"exclaimedIda,withsurprise.
\"Notamoment.\"
\"Why,Mr.VanBerg,whatwasthematterwithyou?ItwillneverdoformetocomehereandwasteyourforenoonsifyoutrytomakeupsounmercifullyafterI\'mgone.\"
\"Youwereindeedaltogethertoblame.Somethings,likefinemusicoragreatpaintingor——ithappenedtobeyourselfyesterday——oftencausewhatIcallmyworkingmoods,whenIfeelabletodothebestthingsofwhichI\'mcapable.Notthattheyarewonderfuloreverwillbe——theyaresimplymybestefforts——andIassureyouI\'mnotfoolishenoughtowastesuchmomentsintheprosaictaskofeating.\"
\"I\'monlyamatter-of-factperson.Plainfoodatregularintervalsisveryessentialtome.\"
Helookedupatherquicklyandsaid:\"Nowyouarementallylaughingatmeagain.IassureyouIatelikeanostrichaftermyworkwasover.IevenupsetthedignityofanurbaneDelmonicowaiter.\"
Idabitherlipassherecalledcertainresemblancesonherownparttothatsuggestivebird,butshesaidsympathetically:\"Itmustberatherstupidtodinealoneatarestaurant.\"
\"Ifounditinsufferablystupid,andI\'mmoregratefultoyourfatherforhisinvitationthanyouwouldbelieve.\"
Idacouldscarcelydisguiseherpleasure,andwithmirthfuleyesshesaid:
\"Really,Mr.VanBerg,youplacemeinquiteadilemma.Ifindthatinonemoodyoudonotwishtoeatatall,andagainyousayyouhavetheratherpeculiarappetiteofthebirdyounamed.NowI\'mhousekeeperatpresent,andscarcelyknowhowtoprovide.Whatkindofviandsarebestadaptedtoartistsandpoets,and——\"
\"Andidiotsingeneral,youmightconclude,\"saidVanBerg,laughing.
\"Aftersittingsonearmeatthetableallsummeryoumusthavenoticedthatnothingbutambrosiaandnectarwillservemypurpose.\"
Ida\'slaughingeyessuddenlybecamedeepanddreamyasshesaid:
\"Thattimeseemsagesago.IcannotrealizethatwearethesamepeoplethatmetsoofteninMr.Burleigh\'sdining-room,andincircumstancesthattomewereoftensoverydismal.\"
\"PleaserememberthatIamnotthesameperson.Iwillesteemitagreatfavorifyouwillleavethemanyousawatthattimeinthelimboofthepast——thefartheroffthebetter.\"