\"MissBurton,\"saidVanBerg,afterdinner,\"IwishyouwouldcallonMissMayhew.Ithinksheisgreatlyinneedofalittleofyourinimitabletactandskill.\'Awoundedspiritwhocanbear?\'Andinsuchanemergency,youarethebestsurgeonIknowof.IthinksomeofuswoundedherdeeplyandunpardonablybycontinuingtoassociateherwithSibley,afterherevealedwhatanunmitigatedrascalhewas.Strongasappearanceswereagainsther,IfeelthatIcannotforgivemyselfthatItookanythingforgrantedinacaselikethat.\"
\"Iamglad,\"sheanswered,\"thatyouhavecometomyownconclusion,thatMissMayhew,withallherfaults,istoogoodagirltobeguiltyofapassionforamanlikeSibley.IfsheregardshiminanysuchwayasIdo,Idonotwonderthatithasmadeherilltobesomisjudged.Imustpleadguiltyalsotohavingwrongedherinmythoughts.WhileItrytoexercisethebroadestcharity,mycalling,asateacher,hasbroughtmeincontactwithmanygirlsthat——throughimmaturityandinnatefoolishness——areguiltyofconductthattaxesone\'sfaithinhumannatureseverely.Goodishsortofgirlsaresometimesinfatuatedwithverybadmen.IsupposeitisevidenttoallthatMissMayhew\'searlyand,indeed,presentinfluencesaresadlyagainsther;butunfortunateashavebeenherassociationsoflate,Iamcomingtothebeliefthat,howeverfaultyshemaybe,sheisnotnaturallyeithersillyorweak.Butmyacquaintancewithherisveryslight,andImustconfessIdonotunderstandherverywell.Forsomereasonsheshunsmeandhasevidentlydislikedmefromthefirst.\"
\"Idon\'tunderstandheratall,\"saidVanBerg,inatonethatprovedhimgreatlyannoyedwithhimself.\"IhavethoughtthatI
hadsoundedtheshallowdepthsofhercharacterseveraltimes,andthensomenewandperplexingphasewouldpresentitself,andputmealltoseaagain.Itmayseemludicroustoyouthatherbeautyshouldirritatemesogreatlybecauseofitsincongruousassociations.\"
\"Notatall,\"shereplied,withalittlenod.\"Iwasnotlongindiscoveringthatyouwereapagan,andthatbeautywasyourdivinity.\"
\"Correctinallrespectssavethedivinity,\"heansweredpromptly;
andhewouldhavesaidmore,butshepassedintotheparloramongtheotherguests.
Idafoundherselftooweakandunnervedtowalkfar,butshediscoveredasecludednookintowhichthesunlightstreamedwithagratefulwarmth;foralthoughthedaywaswarm,sheshiveredwithcoldasifthechillinherhearthaddiffuseditselfeventoherhandsandfeet.DenseshrubberyhidherfromthepathalongwhichshesawStantonpassinhisfruitlessquest.
Foralongtimeshesatindrearyapathy,almostasmotionlessasthemossyrockbeneathher,andwasconsciousonlyofherthrobbingforeheadandachingheart.Gradually,however,nature\'svitaltouchbegantoreviveher.Thesunlightwarmedandtranquilizedtheexquisiteformthathadbeenenteringitsshudderingprotestagainstthechillandcorruptionofthegrave.Thesouthwind,ladenwithfreshwoodlandodors,fannedhercheeks,andwhisperedthattherewereflowersbloomingthatshecouldnotsee,andthatthefuturealsomightrevealjoysnowhiddenandunknown,ifshewouldonlybepatient.Everyrustlingleafthatflutteredinthegale,butdidnotfall,calledtoherwithitstinyvoice:\"Clingtoyourplace,aswedo,tillthefrostofageortheblightofdiseasebringstheendinGod\'sowntimeandway.\"Apartridgewithherbroodrustledbyalongtheedgeoftheforest,andthepoorgirlimaginedshesawintheparentbird,assheledforwardherplumplittlebevy,theprideandcomplacencyofahappymotherhood,whichnowwouldneverbehers;andfromthedepthsofherwoman\'sheartcamenature\'sprotest.Thenherheavyeyeswereattractedbythesportoftwograysquirrelsthatwereracingtothetopofonetree,scramblingdownanother,fallingandcatchingagain,andtumblingovereachotherintheirmadexcitement.Shefeltthat,atherage,theirexuberantlifeandenjoymentshouldbeatypeofherown,buttheirwild,innocentfun,incontrastwithherdespair,becamesounendurablethatshesprangupandfrightenedthemaway.
Butaftershewasquiettheysoonreturned,barkingvociferously,andsportingwiththeiroldabandon.Itwasnotlongsincetheyhadleftthenextintheoldhemlocktree,andtheywerestilllikeIda,beforeshehadlearnedthattherewasanythingintheworldthatcouldharmher.Otherwildcreaturesfleworscamperedby,somestoppingtolookatherwiththeirbrightquickeyes,asifwonderingwhyshewassostillandsad.thewoodsseemedfullofjoyousmidsummerlife,andIdasighed:
\"Innocent,happylittlethings;butiftheyknewwhatwasinmyheart,theywouldbesofrightenedtheycouldscarcelycreepawaytohide.\"
Thenwithasuddenrushofpassionategrief,shecried:
\"Oh,whycannotIlifeandbehappy,too?\"andshesobbedtillshelayexhaustedonthemossyrock.
Whethershehadswooned,orfromweaknesshadbecomeunconscious,shedidnotknow,when,considerablylater,sherousedherselffromwhatseemedlikeaheavyandunrefreshingsleep.Herdresswasdampwithdew,thesunhadsunksolowastofilltheforestwithasombreshade;thehappylifethathadsportedaroundherwashushedandhidden,andthewindnowsighedmournfullythroughthetrees.Gloomanddarkeningshadowshadtakentheplaceofthelightandjoyousnessshefirsthadseen.Inthefaceandvoicesofnature,asinthoseofearthlyfriends,thechangesareoftensogreatthatwearetemptedtoaskindismay,arethey——cantheybethesame?
Shewasstiffandcoldassherosefromherrockycouch,butshewearilyturnedherfacetowardsthehotel,muttering,assheploddedheavilyalong,\"Thelittlepeopleofthewoodsarehappywhiletheycanbe,asI
was,butthesportsman\'sgun,orthehawk,orwinter\'scold,willsoonbringtothembitterpain,anddeath.theirbriefdaywillsoonbeover,asmineis.\"
\"Ah,thesunissinkingbehindthatcloud,\"shesaid,inalowtone,asshecameoutintotheopenfields.\"Ishallnotseeitagain;
itwillnotbeabletowarmmeto-morrow;\"andwithaslightgestureoffarewell,shecontinuedonherwaywithbowedhead.
ChapterXXXVIII.AGoodManSpeaks.
AsIdaapproachedthehotel,VanBergandStantonsawher,andthelatterhasteneddownthestepstojoinher.
\"Why,Ida!\"heexclaimed,\"wherehaveyoubeen?I\'vesearchedforyouhighandlow.\"
\"Youhadnorighttodoso,sir,\"shesaidcoldly,asshepassedon.
\"Waitamoment,Ida,please.Iwishtospeakwithyou——toaskyourpardon——toapologizeinthestrongestterms.\"
Shewouldnotbreakagainherominoussilence,butcontinuedonwithbowedhead,upthesteps,andthroughthehall.Stanton,tosaveappearancesbeforetheguestswhowerenear,walkedatherside,buthermannerchilledandembarrassedhimsogreatly,thatonlyasshewasabouttoenterherroomdidheagainaddressher,andnowentreatingly:
\"Ida,won\'tyouspeaktome?\"
\"No!\"washerstern,briefresponse;andshelockedherdooragainsthim.
\"Van,\"saidStantongloomily,\"I\'dgiveayear\'sincomeifIhadnotspokentomycousinasIdidlastnight.She\'llneverforgiveme.Itseemsasifmywordshadturnedherintoice,sheissocoldandcalm;andyethereyeswereredwithweeping.Ihavestrangemisgivingsaboutthegirl.\"
\"Yes,Ik,\"saidtheartist,gloomily,\"wehavebothmadeanunpardonableblunder.IfMissBurtoncannotthawherout,Ishallnotdaretotry.\"
\"Withherusualperversity,\"repliedStanton,\"shedislikesMissBurton,andIdoubtifshewilllistentoher.\"
\"Ihavegreatfaithinhertactandgenuinegoodwill.ItwaswonderfulhowquicklyshebroughtMr.Mayhewunderhergenialspells.Shehaspromisedtoseeyourcousinthisevening.\"
\"I\'msorry,\"saidStanton,gloomily,\"thatitshouldhavebeenatyourrequestratherthanmine.ButIsupposeyourwishesarebecomingomnipotentwithher.\"
\"No,Ik;Iregrettosaythattheyweighwithheronlyasthoseofafriend,\"wasVanBerg\'squietresponse.
\"Well,well,Van,bearwithme,forI\'minadevilofascrape.\"
EvenMissBurton\'seffortscouldnotbrightenthecloudedfacesthatgatheredatthesupper-table.Intruth,herattemptswerebriefandfitful,forsheseemedabsorbedinthoughtherself.SheheardMrs.MayhewwhispertoStanton,\"IfIwereaperfectstrangershecouldnotkeepmeatagreaterdistance.Icandonothingwithherorforher.\"
Totheirsurprise,Idaquietlywalkedinandtookherplace.Herfacewasverygraveandverypale;thetracesofhergriefwerestillapparent,andtheycausedinVanBergtheseverestcompunction.
Shewasnowdressedrichly,butplainlyandunobtrusively.Hermannerwasquietandself-possessed,buttherewasanexpressionofdesperatetroubleinhereyesthatsoonfilledVanBergwithastrongandincreasinguneasiness.Shereturnedhisbowpolitely,butdistantly.PoorStantonscarcelydaredtolooktowardsher.Atsupper,onthepreviousevening,hehadtakennopainstoconcealhiscontemptanddispleasure;nowhewasunabletohidhisembarrassmentandfear.Asintheparloronthepreviouseveningsonowagain,therewasanelementinIdaMayhew\'sappearanceorinherselfthatcauseddeepdisquietude.
\"I\'mveryglad,Ida,you\'vechangedyourmindandcomedown,\"beganMrs.Mayhew,volubly.
\"Ihavenotchangedmymind,\"shereplied,withsuchsad,sternemphasisthattheyallinvoluntarilylookedatherforamoment.
PoorMrs.Mayhewwassoquenchedanddepressedthatshedidnotventuretospeakagain.
OnlyMissBurtonwasabletomaintainherself-possessionandtact,andshewasintentlybutunobtrusivelystudyingMissMayhew.Hercollege-lifehadmadeheracquaintedwithsomanystrangefeminineproblemsthatshehadthenerveandexperienceofaveteran,butshecouldnotpenetratethedarkmysteryinwhichIdahadnowshroudedherself.Resolving,however,thatshewouldnotsuccumbtothechillandrestraintthatparalyzedtheothers,shepersistedinconversingwithherinsimple,naturaltones.
Idarepliedinperfectcourtesyandnotwithunnecessarybrevity,butifherwordswerepolished,theywerealsoascoldandhardasice.NothingthatMissBurtonsaidcouldbringtheglimmerofasmileathwartherfeaturesthatweregrowingsothinandtransparentthatevenanapproachtoapleasantthoughtwouldhavelightedthemupwithamomentarygleam.MissBurtonfoundhertaskadifficultone.
\"Sheaffectedmeasstrangely,\"sheafterwardssaidtoVanBerg,\"asifadeadmaidenweresittingatmyside,whohadstill,bysomehorriblemystery,thepowerofspeech.\"
AsforVanBerg,hehadhithertosupposedthathisquiet,well-bredeasewouldbeequaltoeverysocialemergency,buthenowfoundhimselftongue-tiedandembarrassedtothelastdegree.Hecouldnotspeaktothewomanwhomhefelthehadsodeeplywrongedinhisthoughtsandmanner,andwhowasalsowellawareofthefact.
Hefeltthathehadnorighttospeaktoheruntilhehadfirstaskedandsecuredherforgiveness.Thiscouldnotbedoneinpublic,andhegreatlydoubtedwhethersheeverwouldpardonhim.
Asachivalricmanofhonor,hewasoverwhelmedwithasenseoftheinsulthehadunwittinglyofferedtothemaidenoppositehim,whonowappearedasifmortallywounded.BeyondafewforcedremarkstoStantonandMissBurton,hemadeashowofeatinghissupperinsilence.Buthelongedtoescapefromhispresentordeal,andresolvedtoleavethetableassoonasappearancespermitted.
OnethinginIda\'smannerperplexedhimgreatly.Shenowlookedathimasifhewereanobject,scruplingnottomeethiseyewithherstrange,unwaveringgaze.Therewasnothingofthehaughtyindifferencewhichshehadmanifestedtheeveningbeforeinheroccasionalglances.Sheratherlookedasonewhoistryingtofixanobjectinhismemorythathemaycarryanaccuratepictureofitawaywithhim.
Thethoughtcrossedhismindmorethanonce,\"WehavewakenedourUndine\'ssleepingmindwithavengeance,buthavejostleditsorudelythatIfearthefrailarticleishopelesslyshattered.\"
MissBurtontriedoncemoretomaketheconversationgeneral,buthereffortendedratherdisastrously.
\"Mr.VanBerg,\"shesaid,\"I\'vebeenreadinganessaythisafternooninwhichthewritertriestoprovethatsciencehasdonemoreforhumanitythanartandreligioncombined.NowIsupposeyouwouldbeinclinedtotakethesamegroundinregardtoartthatIoughtinrespecttoreligion.\"
VanBergwasabouttoreply,whenhisattentionwascaughtbyavividgleaminthefaceofIda,wholookedupasifshewishedtospeak.
\"IthinkMissMayhewhasanopiniononthissubject,\"hesaid,withabow.
Shelookedsteadilyathimassherepliedpromptly,\"Ihaveadecidedopinion,thoughIbaseitonsuchpoorandnarrowgroundsaspersonalexperience.Ithinkartisbyfarthemostpotent.
Ithasaccomplishedformemuchmorethanscienceorreligioneverdid,orcould.\"
\"Whathasitdoneforyou,MissMayhew?\"heasked,dreadingtheanswer.
\"Ithasfilledmewithdespair,\"sherepliedwithaglanceandtonewhichheneverafterwardsforgot.Then,withthesamecold,quietmannerinwhichshehadcome,sheleftthetable.
VanBergturnedverypale,forheatonceunderstoodherreferencetotheemblematicrose-budhehadthrownaway,andhisremark,\"Artcantoleratenosuchimperfection.\"
Herwordsandmannerhopelesslyperplexedtheothers,butVanBergbelievedhehadfoundlightontheproblemthathadhithertobaffledhim,butsofarfrombeingreassured,hehadneverbeenatsuchbitteroddswithhimselfbefore.
Healsosoonafterleftthetable,hopingtofindanopportunitytoexpresshisregretthathehadbeensoharshbyprejudice;butMissMayhewwasnottobefound.
\"Canitbe,\"hethought,ashestrodeoffintotheshrubbery,\"thatIhavebeenblindtotheveryeffectsthatIhopedtocause?Canitbethatshehasbeenmadetofeelherimperfectionsokeenly,andinsuchawayastocreateonlyutterdiscouragement?Sheevidentlyunderstandstheworm-eatenrose-budItossedawaytobetheemblemofherself.Oh,thecurseofPhariseeism——the\'holierthanthou\'business,whateverformittakes.Ithasmadeanegregiousfoolofme.\"
\"ButherrelationswithSibley,confounditall!Ican\'tunderstandthem.Whydidsheassociatewithhimsoconstantly,andthensay,\'Congenialsociety,ornoneatall\'?Seemstomesheoughttohaveseenwhathewasbeforeheshowedhisclovenfeetsoplainly.
Well,perhapsthemostrationalaswellascharitableexplanationisthathereyeswereopenedtoseehiminhistruecolors,aswellasherself.HadTitania\'seyesbeendisenchantedwhenshewasfondlingtheimmortalWeaver,shemighthaveperishedwithdisgust;
anditisscarcelystrangethatMissMayhewshouldbeillonfindingthatshewasinfatuatedwithamanwhowasbothassandvillain.
Sheevidentlyseesthingsnowastheyare,andsincehervisionhasbecomesogood,IamverysorryIdonotappeartobetteradvantage.
Peoplewhostalkalongthroughlifewithelevatednoses,arenotpleasingoredifyingspectacles.\"
Hisdisquietudesooncausedhimtoreturntothehotel,inhopesofseeingtheobjectofhisthoughts.
HehadhardlyreachedthepiazzabeforeIdaappeared,dressedinaplainwalkingsuit.Shehesitatedamomentinthedoor-wayasifundecidedinhercourse.Apartyofgayyoungpeoplewerejuststartingonastrolltoaneighboringvillage.Withapparenthesitancy,shesaidtooneoftheyounggirls:
\"Ihaveanerrandtothevillage;mayIwalkwithyouforcompany?\"
\"Oh,certainly,\"repliedthegirl,butevidentlynotwelcomingthisadditiontotheirparty,andIdawentawaywiththem,butnotasoneofthem,isolatedmore,however,byherownmannerthanbythebearingofhercompanions.
Theexplanationofheractionwasthis:onopeningherdrawerafterreturningtoherroom,shefound,withasenseofdismay——asifamisfortunehadoccurredinsteadofanincidentthatgaveachanceforbetterthought——thatintakingtheopiatethenightbefore,shehadreplacedthecorkinthephialinsecurely,andthatnearlyallitscontentshadoozedaway.Somemighthaveregardedthisincidentasanomenoraprovidentialinterference;butIdawasneithersuperstitiousnorspeculativeinhernature;shewaspositiveandwillful,rather,andthecurrentofherpurposesalwaysflowedstrongly,thoughitmightbeinnarrowchannels.
\"Thereisnothingleftformetodo,\"shemuttered,\"butgotothevillage.Idon\'tknowwhetherMr.Burleighhaslaudanum,andmyaskingforitmightexcitesuspicion.\"
Itwasterribletoseeherfairyoungfacegrowhardlikemarbleinhersterndeterminationtocarryoutherawfuldesign,andtheimpressofthisremorselesspurposefilledVanBergwithsogreatforebodingthathecouldnotresisttheimpulsetofollowthedesperategirl.Ifharmshouldcometoherthroughtheharshnessofothers,andashenowfeared,moreespeciallyhisown,hewouldneverforgivehimself.
Mrs.MayhewandStantondidnotseeherdeparture——theywereinanxiousconsultationinoneofthesmallprivateparlors,andtheartist,todisarmsuspicionofhisdesign,enteredthehotel,andpassedoutagainbyasidedoor,fromwhichhetookashort-cutacrossthefieldintendingtowatchIda,withoutbeinghimselfobserved.
Havingfoundsomedensecopse-woodbytheroad-side,andneartothevillage,hesatdownandwaited.Thegay,chatteringpartysoonpassed,Idawalkingbyherselfontheoppositesideoftheroad,withheadbowedasifwhollywrappedinherownthoughts.Herunhappyfaceappealedtohissympathyevenmorethanhergracefulcarriagetohissenseofbeauty,andhelongedtojoinherandmakesuchamendsaswerepossible.
Henowfollowedattoogreatadistanceforrecognitioninthedeepeningtwilight,andsawtheyoungpeopleenteraconfectioneryshop,butobserved,withincreaseduneasiness,thatMissMayhewpartedfromthemandwenttoanadjacentdrug-store.Shesoonjoinedthepartyagain,however,andtheyallapparentlystartedhomeward.
VanBergatoncedeterminedtogotothisdrug-storeandlearn,ifpossible,iftherewereanythingtoconfirmthehorriblesuspicionthatcrossedhismind.Herememberedthatdespairanddesperatedeedsoftenwenttogether,andthedailypresshadtaughthimhowmanypeople,withwarpedandungovernedmoralnatures,placetheirtroublesbeyondremedybythesupremefollyofself-destruction.
Byaconsiderabledetourthroughasidestreet,hereachedthestoreunperceived,andfoundthedruggistratherdisquietedhimself.
\"AreyoustayingatBurleigh\'s?\"heasked.
\"Iam,\"VanBergreplied.
\"Doyouknowayoungladyboardingtherewithlargedarkeyesandauburnhair?\"
\"Ido.\"
\"Isthere——isthereanythingwrongabouther?\"
\"Whyshouldtherebe?Whydoyouask?\"
\"Shehasjustbeeninhere,andshelookedsickandstrangely,andallshewantedwasalargephialoflaudanum.Somehowherlooksandpurchasehavemademeuneasy.Ineversawsowhiteafaceinmylife,andsheseemedweakandverytired.Ifshe\'ssick,howcomesitshe\'swalkingtothevillage?Besides,sheseemedtohaveverylittletodowiththepartyshejoinedafterleavinghere.\"
VanBergcontrolledhimselfonlybyapowerfuleffort,andwasverygladthatthebrimofhissofthatconcealedthepallorofhisownface.Hemanagedtosayquietly:
\"Theyoungladyyoudescribehasnotbeenwell,andhasprobablyfoundthewalklongerandmorewearisomethanshesupposed.Asforthelaudanum,that\'susedinmanyways.Somecigars,ifyouplease——thankyou.I\'lljointheladyandseethatshereacheshomesafely,\"andhehastilyleftthestoreandwalkedswiftlyaway.
\"Hewouldn\'tgoasfastasthatifhewasn\'talittleuneasy,too,\"
mutteredthedruggist,whosedearthofbusinessgavehimabundantleisuretoseeallthatwasgoingon,andtoimaginemuchmore.
VanBergdeterminedtoovertakeIdabeforeshereachedthehotel,andhisstrideswereaslongandswiftasmortaldreadcouldmakethem.
Inthemeantime,whiletheartistwasmakingthedetournecessarytoreachthedrug-storewithoutmeetingIda,sheandhercompanionshadstartedhomeward.Astheyapproachedachurchontheoutskirtsofthevillage,thebellinthesteeplecommencedtolling.
\"What\'sthatfor?\"askedayoungmanofthepartyofaplain,farmer-likeappearingman,whowasjustabouttoenter.
\"Forprayer-meetin\',\"wasthegood-naturedreply.\"Itwouldn\'thurtyoutocometoit;\"andthespeakerpassedintothelecture-room.
\"Icallthisfrivolousassemblagetoorder,\"criedtheyouth,turningaroundtohiscompanions.\"Ifanyoneofournumberhaseverattendedaprayer-meeting,lethimholduphisrighthand.
Iusethemasculinepronoun,becausethemanalwaysembracesthewoman——whenhegetsachance.\"
Nohandswereheldup.
\"Heathen,everymother\'ssonofus,\"criedthefirstspeaker.
\"Thedaughtersareangels,ofcourse,anddon\'tneedtogotoprayer-meetin\',asheofthecowhidesandalsjusttermedit.Butforthenoveltyofthething,andforthewantofsomethingbettertodo,Imovethatweallgoto-night.Ifitshouldbeborous,why,wecancomeout.\"
Thepropositionpleasedthefancyoftheparty,andwithgaywordsandlaughterthatscarcelyceasedatthevestibule,theyenteredtheplaceofprayerandlighteddownamongthesober-visaged,soberly-dressedworshipperslikeaflockoftropicalbirds.
Idareluctantlyfollowedthem.Atfirstshehalfdecidedtowalkhomealone,butfearedtodoso.Shewhohadresolvedonfacingthe\"KingofTerrors\"shrank,withawoman\'sinstinct,fromalonelywalkinthestarlight.
Shesatindrearypreoccupationalittleapartfromtheothersandpaidnomoreheedtotheopeningservicesthantotheirill-concealedmerriment.
theministerwasawayonhisAugustvacation.Prayer-meetingswereoutofseason,andveryfewwerepresent.Theplainfarmerwastryingtoconducttheserviceaswellashecould,butitwasevidenthewouldhavebeenmuchmoreateaseholdingthehandleofaploworthereinsofhisrattlingteam,thanahymn-book.Dr.
WattsandJohnWesleymighthavelostsomeoftheirheavenlyserenitycouldtheyhaveheardhimreadtheirverses,andcertainlyonlyalong-sufferingandmercifulGodcouldlistentohisprayer.Andyetrarelyonthebattle-fieldistheremoremoralcouragedisplayedthanplainThomasSmithputforththatnightinhisconscientiousefforttoperformanunwontedtask;andwhenatlasthesatdownandsaid,\"Bruthren,themeetin\'isnowopen,\"hewasmoreexhaustedthanhethanhewouldhavebeenfromalongdayoftoil.
\"TheLordlookethattheheart\"isatruththatchillsmanywithdread,butitwasapreciousthoughttoFarmerSmithashesawthathisfellowchurchmembersdidnotlookveryappreciative,andthatthegayyoungcity-peopleoftengiggledoutrightathisuncouthwordsandmanner.
Idawouldhavebeenasgreatlyamusedasanyofthemafewweekssince,butnowshescarcelyheardthepoorman\'sstumblings,orthewailingofthehymnsthatweremangledanewbythepeople.Shesatwithhereyesfixedonvacancy,thinkinghowdrearyandemptytheworldhadbecome;anditseemedtoherthatreligionwasthemostdrearyandemptythinginit.
\"Whatgoodcanthiswretchedlittlemeetingdoanyone?\"shethought,morethanonce.
Shewasanswered.
Nearherwasaveryoldmanwhohadbeenregardingtheill-behavedpartywithanexpressionofmingleddispleasureandpity.Nowthatthemeetingwasopentoallheroseslowlytohisfeet,steadyinghimselfwithhiscane.
\"HelooksliketheAncientMariner,\"giggledanexceedinglyimmatureyouth,whosatnexttoIda.
Sheturneduponhimsharplyandsaid,inalowtone,\"Ifyouhavethefaintestinstinctsofagentlemanyouwillrespectthatvenerableman.\"
Theyouthwassoeffectuallyquenchedthatheboretheaspectofaturnip-beetduringtheremainderoftheservice.
\"Myyoungfriends,\"begantheoldmainintonesofgentledignity,\"willyoulistenpatientlyandquietlytoonethatyouseewillnothavethechancetospeakmanymorewords.Myeyesarealittledim,butyouallappearyoungandhappy;andyetIamsorryforyou,verysorryforyou.Youdon\'trealizewhatyouareandwhatisbeforeyou.Youremindmeofanumberofpleasureboatsjuststartingouttosea.Ihavebeenacrossthisocean,andhavealmostreachedtheothershore.Iknowwhatterriblestormsanddangersyouwillmeet.Youcan\'tescapethesestorms,myyoungfriends.
Noonecan,andyoudon\'tseempreparedtomeetthem.
\"Yourmannerhaspainedmeverymuch,andyet,asmyMastersaid,soIhavefelt,you\'knownotwhatyoudo.\'ThereisaKinglyPresenceinthisplacethatyouhavenotrecognized.Doyounotrememberwhoitwasthatsaid,\'Wheretwoorthreearegatheredtogetherinmyname,thereamIinthemidstofthem\'?
\"Iamveryold,butmymemoryisgood.ItseemsbutashorttimeagothatIwasasyoungthoughtlessasanyoneofyou,andyetitwasseventyyearsago.IhavetestedthefriendshipofJesusChristforoverhalfacentury.HaveInotthenarighttospeakofit?
OughtInottoknowsomethingabouthim?
\"DoyouaskmeifmyMasterhaskeptmefromtroubleandsufferingalltheseyears?Farfromit.Indeed,IthinkhehascausedmeagooddealoftroubleandpaininadditiontothatwhichIbroughtonmyselfbymyownfollyandmistakes;butInowseethathecauseditonlyasthegoodphysiciangivespain,inordertomakethepatientstrongandwell.Butonethingiscertainlytrue.Hehasstoodbymeasafaithfulfriendalltheseyears,andhasbroughtgoodtomeoutofalltheevil.Ihavebeeninsoretemptationsanddeepdiscouragement.Myheartattimeshasseemedbreakingwithsorrow.Minehasbeenthecommonlot.Butwhenthestormwasloudestandmostterrible,hishandwasonthehelm,andnowIamenteringthequietharbor.Therehasbeenmuchthatwasdarkandhardtounderstand;thereismuchstill;butthereisplentytoprovethatmyHeavenlyFatherisleadingmehomeasalittlechild.
\"Itisaprecious,blessedtruththatIwishtobringyoufacttofacewithto-night,andyetitmaybecomeaverysadandterribletruth,ifyoushutyoureyestoitnowandrememberitonlywhenitistoolate.Iwishtoassureyou,onthegroundofsimple,down-rightexperience,throughalltheseyears,thatGod\'s\'unspeakablegift,\'hisonlySon,isjustwhatourpoorhumannatureneeds.
JesusChrist\'isabletosavethemottheuttermostthatcometoGodbyhim.\'Hehelpsusovercomethatawfuldisease——sin.Hebringstoourunhappyheartsimmortallifeandhealth.IknowitasIknowthatIexist.Hehashelpedmewhenandwheretherewasnohumanhelp.Ihaveoftenseenhisredeemingworkinthelivesofotherfaulty,sinfulpeoplelikemyself.
\"Thequestionthereforewhichyoumusteachdecideisnotwhetheryouwillbelievethisorthatdoctrine,ordowhatthisorthatmanteaches.Thequestionisthis:——Hereisatender,merciful,DivineFriend.Heofferstoleadyousafelythroughallthedangersandhardplacesinthisworld,asashepherdleadshisflockthroughthewilderness.Willyoufollowhim,orwillyouremaininthewildernessandperishwhenthenightcomes,asitsurelywill?Ifyouwillfollowhimaswellasyoucan,he\'llbringyoutoahappyandeternalhome.Thankstohispatientkindnesswhichneverfalters,hehasbroughmealmostthere.
\"Andnow,myyoungfriends,beatwithanoldman,andletmesay,inconclusion,thatyouallneedthekind,patient,faithfulFriendthatIfoundsolongago.Noevil,nomisfortunecancomeintoanyhumanlifethatisbeyondhispowertoremedyandfinallybanishforever.IyouhavenotfoundthisFriend,thisLife-giver,Iamyoungerandhappierthanyouareto-day,althoughIameighty-eightyearsold.\"
Oncebeforearash,despairingmanliftedhishandagainsthislife,butGod\'smessagetohim,throughhisapostle,was,\"Dothyselfnoharm.\"Andnowagainafaithfulservant,speakingforhimwhosecomingwasGod\'ssupremeexpressionofgood-willtowardsmen,hadbroughtalikemercifulmessagetoanotherpoorsoulthathadtakencounselofdespair.IdaMayhewmightlearn,asdidthejailerofPhilippi,thatGodhasabetterremedythandeathforseeminglyirretrievabledisasters.
Theoldgentleman\'swordscamehometoherwithsuchaforceofpersonalapplicationthatshewasdeeplymoved,andevenawed.
Theyseemedlikeadivinemessage——naymore,likearestraininghand.\"Howstrangeitwas,\"shethought,thatshehadcometothisplace!——howstrangethatasereneold,man,withheaven\'speacealreadyonhisbrow,shouldhaveutteredthewordsbestadaptedtoherdesperateneed.Ifhehadspokenofduty,obligation,oftruthintheabstract,histoneswouldhavebeenlikethesoundofawintrywind.ButhehadspokenofaFriend,astender,patient,andhelpfulashewaspowerful.Whatwasfarmore,hespokewiththestrongconvincingconfidenceofpersonalknowledge.HehadtriedthisFriendthroughallthevicissitudesofoverhalfacentury,andfoundhimtrue.Couldhumanassurance——couldhumantestimonygofarther?Deepinherheartshewasconsciousthathopewasrevivingagain——thattheendhadnotyetcome.