CHAPTERXXXIV
TheOldMan’sStorycontinued—MiseryintheHead—TheStrangeMarks—Tea—dealerfromLondon—DifficultiesoftheChineseLanguage。
AFTERanotherpausetheoldmanoncemoreresumedhisnarration：—\"Ifevertherewasamanperfectlymiserableitwasmyself，afterthelossofthatcherishedwoman。Isatsolitaryinthehouse，inwhichIhadhopedinhercompanytorealizethechoicestearthlyhappiness，apreytothebitterestreflections；manypeoplevisited，andendeavouredtoconsoleme—amongstthemwastheclergymanoftheparish，whobeggedmetoberesigned，andtoldmethatitwasgoodtobeafflicted。Ibowedmyhead，butIcouldnothelpthinkinghoweasyitmustbeforthosewhofeelnoaffliction，tobidotherstoberesigned，andtotalkofthebenefitresultingfromsorrow；perhapsIshouldhavepaidmoreattentiontohisdiscoursethanIdid，providedhehadbeenapersonforwhomitwaspossibletoentertainmuchrespect，buthisownheartwasknowntobesetonthethingsofthisworld。
\"Withinalittletimehehadanopportunity，inhisowncase，ofpractisingresignation，andofrealizingthebenefitofbeingafflicted。Amerchant，towhomhehadentrustedallhisfortune，inthehopeofalargeinterest，becamesuddenlyabankrupt，withscarcelyanyassets。Iwillnotsaythatitwasowingtothismisfortunethatthedivinediedinlessthanamonthafteritsoccurrence，butsuchwasthefact。
Amongstthosewhomostfrequentlyvisitedmewasmyfriendthesurgeon；hedidnotconfinehimselftothecommontopicsofconsolation，butendeavouredtoimpressuponmethenecessityofrousingmyself，advisingmetooccupymymindwithsomepursuit，particularlyrecommendingagriculture；butagriculturepossessednointerestforme，nor，indeed，anypursuitwithinmyreach；myhopesofhappinesshadbeenblighted，andwhatcaredIforanything？soatlasthethoughtitbesttoleavemetomyself，hopingthattimewouldbringwithitconsolation；andIremainedsolitaryinmyhouse，waiteduponbyamaleandafemaleservant。Oh，whatdrearymomentsIpassed！Myonlyamusement—anditwasasadone—wastolookatthethingswhichoncebelongedtomybeloved，andwhichwerenewinmypossession。Oh，howfondlywouldIdwelluponthem！Thereweresomebooks；Icarednotforbooks，butthesehadbelongedtomybeloved。Oh，howfondlydidIdwellonthem！Thentherewasherhatandbonnet—oh，me，howfondlydidIgazeuponthem！andafterlookingatherthingsforhours，IwouldsitandruminateonthehappinessIhadlost。HowIexecratedthemomentIhadgonetothefairtosellhorses！’WouldthatIhadneverbeentoHorncastletosellhorses！’Iwouldsay；’Imightatthismomenthavebeenenjoyingthecompanyofmybeloved，leadingahappy，quiet，easylife，butforthatfatalexpedition；’thatthoughtworkedonmybrain，tillmybrainseemedtoturnround。