everwrotefablesinArmenian；butyecouldn’thelpyourselves，yeareduncie。Weduncie！Ay，duncie。Sohereyeareheldupbythetails，bloodandfoamstreamingfromyourjaws。
Thewriterwishestoaskhere，whatdoyouthinkofallthis，MessieurslesCritiques？Wereyeeverservedsobefore？Butdon’tyourichlydeserveit？Haven’tyoubeenforyearspastbullyingandinsultingeverybodywhomyoudeemedweak，andcurryingfavourwitheverybodywhomyouthoughtstrong？\"Weapproveofthis。Wedisapproveofthat。Oh，thiswillneverdo。Thesearefinelines！\"ThelinesperhapssomehorridsycophanticrubbishaddressedtoWellington，orLordSo—and—
so。Tohaveyourignorancethusexposed，tobeshownupinthismanner，andbywhom？Agypsy！Ay，agypsywastheveryrightpersontodoit。Butisitnotgalling，afterall？
\"Ah，butWEdon’tunderstandArmenian，itcannotbeexpectedthatWEshouldunderstandArmenian，orWelsh，or—Hey，what’sthis？ThemightyWEnotunderstandArmenianorWelsh，or—ThenwhydoesthemightyWEpretendtoreviewabooklikeLavengro？Fromthearrogancewithwhichitcontinuallydeliversitself，onewouldthinkthatthemightyWEisomniscient；thatitunderstandseverylanguage；isversedineveryliterature；yetthemightyWEdoesnotevenknowthewordforbreadinArmenian。ItknowsbreadwellenoughbynameinEngland，andfrequentlybreadinEnglandonlybyitsname，butthetruthis，thatthemightyWE，withallitspretension，isingeneralaverysorrycreature，who，insteadofsayingnousdisons，shouldrathersaynousdis：Pornyinhis\"GuerredesDieux，\"veryprofanelymakesthethreeinonesay，Jefaisons；now，Lavengro，whoisanythingbutprofane，wouldsuggestthatcritics，especiallymagazineandSundaynewspapercritics，shouldcommencewithnousdis，asthefirstwordwouldbesignificantoftheconceitandassumptionofthecritic，andthesecondoftheextentofthecritic’sinformation。TheWEsaysitssay，butwhenfawningsycophancyorvulgarabusearetakenfromthatsay，whatremains？Whyablank，avoidlikeGinnungagap。
Asthewriter，ofhisownaccord，hasexposedsomeoftheblemishesofhisbook—atask，whichacompetentcriticoughttohavedone—hewillnowpointouttwoorthreeofitsmerits，whichanycritic，notaltogetherblindedwithignorancemighthavedone，ornotrepletewithgallandenvywouldhavebeengladtodo。Thebookhasthemeritofcommunicatingafactconnectedwithphysiology，whichinallthepagesofthemultitudeofbookswasneverpreviouslymentioned—themysteriouspracticeoftouchingobjectstobaffletheevilchance。Themiserabledetractorwill，ofcourse，instantlybegintoraveaboutsuchahabitbeingcommon：wellandgood；butwasiteverbeforedescribedinprint，orallconnectedwithitdissected？HemaythenvociferatesomethingaboutJohnsonhavingtouched：—thewritercaresnotwhetherJohnson，who，bythebye，duringthelasttwentyorthirtyyears，owingtopeoplehavingbecomeultraTorymadfromreadingScott’snovelsandthe\"QuarterlyReview，\"hasbeenamightyfavourite，especiallywithsomewhowereinthehabitofcallinghimahalfcrazyoldfool—