Morbidsentiment！Whyshouldshebeaccusedofmorbidsentimentbecauseshewasunabletotransferheraffectionstoamanwhohadbeenfixedonasherfuturehusbandbythelargecircleofacquaintanceswhohadinterestedthemselvesinheraffairs？Therewasnothingmorbidineitherherdesiresorherregrets。Sosheassuredherself，withsomethingverylikeangerattheaccusationmadeagainsther。Shehadbeencontented，andwascontented，toliveathomeashermotherhadlived，askingfornoexcitementbeyondthatgivenbythedailyroutineofherduties。
Therecouldbenothingmorbidinthat。ShewouldgobacktoAllingtonassoonasmightbe，andhavedonewiththisLondonlife，whichonlymadeherwretched。ThisseeingofCrosbiehadbeenterribletoher。Shedidnottellherselfthathisimagehadbeenshattered。Herideawasthatallhermiseryhadcomefromtheuntowardnessofthemeeting。Buttherewasthefactthatshehadseenthemanandheardhisvoice，andthattheseeinghimandhearinghimhadmadehermiserable。Shecertainlydesiredthatitmightneverbeherloteithertoseehimortohearhimagain。
AndasforJohnEames——inthosebittermomentsofherreflectionshealmostwishedthesameinregardtohim。Ifhewouldonlyceasetobeherlover，hemightbeverywell；buthewasnotverywelltoheraslongashispretensionsweredinnedintoherearbyeverybodywhoknewher。AndthenshetoldherselfthatJohnwouldhaveabetterchanceifhehadbeencontenttopleadforhimself。Inthis，Ithink，shewasharduponherlover。Hehadpleadedforhimselfaswellasheknewhow，andasoftenastheoccasionhadbeengiventohim。Ithadhardlybeenhisfaultthathiscasehadbeentakeninhandbyotheradvocates。HehadgivennocommissiontoMrsThornetopleadforhim。
PoorJohnny。HehadstoodinmuchbetterfavourbeforethatladyhadpresentedhercomplimentstoMissLD。Itwasthatodiousletter，andthethoughtswhichithadforceduponLily’smind，whichwerenowmostinimicaltohisinterests。WhetherLilylovedhimornot，shedidnotlovehimwellenoughtobejealousofhim。HadnaysuchletterreachedherrespectingCrosbieinthehappydaysofheryounglove，shewouldhavesimplyhavelaughedatit。Itwouldhavebeennothingtoher。Butnowshewassoreandunhappy，andanytriflewaspowerfulenoughtoirritateher。’IsMissLDengagedtomarryMrJE？’’No，’saidLily，outloud。’LilyDaleisnotengagedtomarryJohnEames，andneverwillbesoengaged。’ShewasalmosttemptedtositdownandwritetherequiredanswertoMissMD。Thoughtheletterhadbeendestroyed，shewellrememberedthenumberofthepost—officeintheEdgwareRoad。PoorJohnEames。
ThateveningshetoldEmilyDunstablethatshethoughtshewouldliketoreturntoAllingtonbeforethedaythathadbeenappointedforher。’Butwhy，’saidEmily，’shouldyoubeworsethanyourword？’