ExitMARIAGoshakeyourears。SIRANDREW’Twereasgoodadeedastodrinkwhenaman’sa-hungry，tochallengehimthefield，andthentobreakpromisewithhimandmakeafoolofhim。SIRTOBYBELCHDo’t，knight：I’llwritetheeachallenge：
orI’lldeliverthyindignationtohimbywordofmouth。MARIASweetSirToby，bepatientfortonight：
sincetheyouthofthecount’swastodaywiththylady，sheismuchoutofquiet。ForMonsieurMalvolio，letmealonewithhim：ifIdonotgullhimintoanayword，andmakehimacommonrecreation，donotthinkIhavewitenoughtoliestraightinmybed：
IknowIcandoit。SIRTOBYBELCHPossessus，possessus；tellussomethingofhim。MARIAMarry，sir，sometimesheisakindofpuritan。SIRANDREWO，ifIthoughtthatI’ldbeathimlikeadog！SIRTOBYBELCHWhat，forbeingapuritan？thyexquisitereason，dearknight？SIRANDREWIhavenoexquisitereasonfor’t，butIhavereasongoodenough。MARIAThedevilapuritanthatheis，oranythingconstantly，butatime-pleaser；anaffectionedass，thatconsstatewithoutbookanduttersitbygreatswarths：thebestpersuadedofhimself，socrammed，ashethinks，withexcellencies，thatitishisgroundsoffaiththatallthatlookonhimlovehim；andonthatviceinhimwillmyrevengefindnotablecausetowork。SIRTOBYBELCHWhatwiltthoudo？MARIAIwilldropinhiswaysomeobscureepistlesoflove；wherein，bythecolourofhisbeard，theshapeofhisleg，themannerofhisgait，theexpressureofhiseye，forehead，andcomplexion，heshallfindhimselfmostfeelinglypersonated。Icanwriteverylikemyladyyourniece：onaforgottenmatterwecanhardlymakedistinctionofourhands。SIRTOBYBELCHExcellent！Ismelladevice。SIRANDREWIhave’tinmynosetoo。SIRTOBYBELCHHeshallthink，bythelettersthatthouwiltdrop，thattheycomefrommyniece，andthatshe’sinlovewithhim。MARIAMypurposeis，indeed，ahorseofthatcolour。SIRANDREWAndyourhorsenowwouldmakehimanass。MARIAAss，Idoubtnot。SIRANDREWO，’twillbeadmirable！MARIASportroyal，Iwarrantyou：Iknowmyphysicwillworkwithhim。Iwillplantyoutwo，andletthefoolmakeathird，whereheshallfindtheletter：
observehisconstructionofit。Forthisnight，tobed，anddreamontheevent。Farewell。