The Story of My Heart

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第3章

The Story of My Heart Richard Jefferies AN AUTOBIOGR

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The Story of My Heart
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  CHAPTERIX

  INhumanaffairseverythinghappensbychance——thatis,indefianceofhumanideas,andwithoutanydirectionofanintelligence。Amanbathesinapool,acrocodileseizesandlacerateshisflesh。Ifanyonemaintainsthatanintelligencedirectedthatcruelty,Icanonlyreplythathismindisunderanillusion。Amaniscaughtbyarevolvingshaftandtorntopieces,limbfromlimb。Thereisnodirectingintelligenceinhumanaffairs,noprotection,andnoassistance。Thosewhoactuprightlyarenotrewarded,buttheyandtheirchildrenoftenwanderintheutmostindigence。Thosewhodoevilarenotalwayspunished,butfrequentlyflourishandhavehappychildren。Rewardsandpunishmentsarepurelyhumaninstitutions,andifgovernmentberelaxedtheyentirelydisappear。Nointelligencewhateverinterferesinhumanaffairs。Thereisamostsenselessbeliefnowprevalentthateffort,andwork,andcleverness,perseveranceandindustry,areinvariablysuccessful。Werethisthecase,everymanwouldenjoyacompetence,atleast,andbefreefromthecaresofmoney。Thisisanillusionalmostequaltothesuperstitionofadirectingintelligence,whicheveryfactandeveryconsiderationdisproves。

  HowcanIadequatelyexpressmycontemptfortheassertionthatallthingsoccurforthebest,forawiseandbeneficentend,andareorderedbyahumaneintelligence!Itisthemostutterfalsehoodandacrimeagainstthehumanrace。EveninmybrieftimeIhavebeencontemporarywitheventsofthemosthorriblecharacter;aswhenthemothersintheBalkanscasttheirownchildrenfromthetraintoparishinthesnow;aswhenthePrincessAlicefoundered,andsixhundredhumanbeingsweresmotheredinfoulwater;aswhenthehecatomboftwothousandmaidenswereburnedinthechurchatSantiago;aswhenthemiserablecreaturestoreatthewallsoftheViennatheatre。Consideronlythefateswhichovertakethelittlechildren。Humansufferingissogreat,soendless,soawfulthatIcanhardlywriteofit。I

  couldnotgointohospitalsandfaceit,assomedo,lestmymindshouldbetemporarilyovercome。Thewholeandtheworsttheworstpessimistcansayisfarbeneaththeleastparticleofthetruth,soimmenseisthemiseryofman。Itisthedutyofallrationalbeingstoacknowledgethetruth。Thereisnottheleasttraceofdirectingintelligenceinhumanaffairs。Thisisafoundationofhope,because,ifthepresentconditionofthingswereorderedbyasuperiorpower,therewouldbenopossibilityofimprovingitforthebetterinthespiteofthatpower。Acknowledgingthatnosuchdirectionexists,allthingsbecomeatonceplastictoourwill。

  ThecreditgivenbytheunthinkingtothestatementthatallaffairsaredirectedhasbeenthebaneoftheworldsincethedaysoftheEgyptianpapyriandtheoriginofsuperstition。Solongasmenfirmlybelievethateverythingisfixedforthem,solongisprogressimpossible。Ifyouargueyourselfintothebeliefthatyoucannotwalktoaplace,youcannotwalkthere。

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