Jem,too,wenttotheclosettermedhisbedroom。Therewasnobolttothedoor;butbyonestrongeffortofhisrightarm,aheavychestwasmovedagainstitandhecouldsitdownonthesideofhisbed,andthink。Marylovedanother!Thatideawouldriseuppermostinhismind,andhadtobecombatedinallitsformsofpain。Itwas,perhaps,nogreatwonderthatsheshouldpreferonesomuchaboveJemintheexternalthingsoflife。Butthegentleman;whydidhe,withhisrangeofchoiceamongtheladiesoftheland,whydidhestoopdowntocarryoffthepoorman’sdarling?
Withallthegloriesofthegardenathishand,whydidheprefertocullthewild-rose,——Jem’sownfragrantwild-rose?Hisown!Oh!nevernowhisown!——Goneforevermore!Thenuprosetheguiltylongingforblood’!——TheIfrenzyofjealousy!——Someoneshoulddie。HewouldratherMaryweredead,coldinhergrave,thanthatshewereanother’s。Avisionofherpale,sweetface,withherbrighthair,allbedabbledwithgore,seemedtofloatconstantlybeforehisachingeyes。Butherswereeveropen,andcontained,intheirsoft,deathlylook,suchmutereproach!Whathadshedonetodeservesuchcrueltreatmentfromhim?ShehadbeenwooedbyonewhomJemknewtobehandsome,gay,andbright,andshehadgivenhimherlove。Thatwasall!Itwasthewooerwhoshoulddie。Yes,die,knowingthecauseofhisdeath。Jempicturedhimandgloatedonthepicture,lyingsmitten,yetconscious;andlisteningtotheupbraidingaccusationofhismurderer。Howhehadlefthisownrank,anddaredtoloveamaidenoflowdegree;andoh!stingingagonyofall——howshe,inreturn,hadlovedhim!Thentheothernaturespokeup,andbadehimremembertheanguishheshouldsoprepareforMary!Atfirstherefusedtolistentothatbettervoice;orlistenedonlytopervert。Hewouldgloryinherwailinggrief!hewouldtakepleasureinherdesolationofheart!No!hecouldnot,saidthestillsmallvoice。Itwouldbeworse,farworse,tohavecausedsuchwoe,thanitwasnowtobearhispresentheavyburden。Butitwastooheavy,toogrievoustobeborne,andlive。Hewouldslayhimself,andtheloversshouldloveon,andthesunshinebright,andhewithhisburning,wofulheartwouldbeatrest。“RestthatisreservedforthepeopleofGod。“Hadhenotpromisedwithsuchearnestpurposeofsoul,asmakeswordsmoreSolemnthanoaths,tosaveMaryfrombecomingsuchasEsther?Shouldheshrinkfromthedutiesoflife,intothecowardlinessofdeath?WhowouldthenguardMary,withherloveandherinnocence?Woulditnotbeagoodlythingtoserveher,althoughshelovedhimnot;tobeherpreservingangel,throughtheperilsoflife;andshe,unconsciousallthewhile?Hebraceduphissoul,andsaidtohimself,thatwithGod’shelphewouldbethatearthlykeeper。Andnowthemistsandthestormsseemedclearingawayfromhispath,thoughitstillwasfullofstingingthorns。Havingdonethedutynearesttohimofreducingthetumultofhisownhearttosomethinglikeorder,thesecondbecamemoreplainbeforehim。PoorEsther’sexperiencehadledher,perhapstoohastily,totheconclusionthatMrCarson’sintentionswereeviltowardsMary;atleastshehadgivennojustgroundforthefearsshehadentertainedthatsuchwasthecase。
Itwaspossible,nay,toJem’sheartveryprobable,thathemightonlybetoohappytomarryher。Shewasaladybyrightofnature,Jemthought;
inmovement,grace,andspirit。WhatwasbirthtoaManchestermanufacturer,manyofwhomglory,andjustlytoo,inbeingthearchitectsoftheirownfortunes?And,asfaraswealthwasconcerned,judginganotherbyhimself,Jemcouldonlyimagineitagreatprivilegetolayitatthefeetofthelovedone。HarryCarson’smotherhadbeenafactorygirl;so,afterall,whatwasthegreatreasonfordoubtinghisintentionstowardsMary?Theremightprobablybesomelittleawkwardnessabouttheaffairatfirst:
Mary’sfatherhavingsuchstrongprejudicesontheonehand;andsomethingofthesamekindbeinglikelytoexistonthepartofMrCarson’sfamily。