Lord Jim

第30章

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第30章

Lord Jim Joseph Conrad

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Lord Jim
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  Iasked。“Well,Icouldn’tfightthewholepopulation,andIwasn’tcomingtothemasifIwereafraidofmylife,“hesaid,withjustafainthintofhisstubbornsulkinessintheglancehegaveme。Irefrainedfrompointingouttohimthattheycouldnothaveknownthechamberswereactuallyempty。

  Hehadtosatisfyhimselfinhisownway……“Anyhowitwasn’t,“herepeated,good-humouredly,“andsoIjuststoodstillandaskedthemwhatwasthematter。Thatseemedtostrikethemdumb。Isawsomeofthesethievesgoingoffwithmybox。Thatlong-leggedoldscoundrelKassimI’llshowhimtoyouto-morrowranoutfussingtomeabouttheRajahwantingtoseeme。Isaid,`Allright’;I,too,wantedtoseetheRajah,andIsimplywalkedinthroughthegateand——and——hereIam。“Helaughed,andthenwithunexpectedemphasis,“Anddoyouknowwhat’sthebestinit?“heasked。

  “I’lltellyou。It’stheknowledgethathadIbeenwipedoutitisthisplacethatwouldhavebeentheloser。“

  `HespokethustomebeforehishouseonthateveningI’vementioned——afterwehadwatchedthemoonfloatawayabovethechasmbetweenthehillslikeanascendingspiritoutofagrave;itssheendescended,coldandpale,liketheghostofdeadsunlight。Thereissomethinghauntinginthelightofthemoon;ithasallthedispassionatenessofadisembodiedsoul,andsomethingofitsinconceivablemystery。Itistooursunshine,which——saywhatyoulike——isallwehavetoliveby,whattheechoistothesound:

  misleadingandconfusingwhetherthenotebemockingorsad。Itrobsallformsofmatter——which,afterall,isourdomain——oftheirsubstance,andgivesasinisterrealitytoshadowsalone。Andtheshadowswereveryrealaroundus,butJimbymysidelookedverystalwart,asthoughnothing——noteventheoccultpowerofmoonlight——couldrobhimofhisrealityinmyeyes。Perhaps,indeed,nothingcouldtouchhimsincehehadsurvivedtheassaultofthedarkpowers。Allwassilent,allwasstill;evenontheriverthemoonbeamssleptasonapool。Itwasthemomentofhighwater,amomentofimmobilitythataccentuatedtheutterisolationofthislostcorneroftheearth。Thehousescrowdingalongthewideshiningsweepwithoutrippleorglitter,steppingintothewaterinalineofjostling,vague,grey,silveryformsmingledwithblackmassesofshadow,werelikeaspectralherdofshapelesscreaturespressingforwardtodrinkinaspectralandlifelessstream。Hereandtherearedgleamtwinkledwithinthebamboowalls,warm,likealivingspark,significantofhumanaffections,ofshelter,ofrepose。

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