day,month,year,2。30A。M……forthesakeofouroldfriendshipIaskyoutoputsomeworkinthewayofMr。JamesSo-and-so,inwhom,etc。,etc……Iwasevenreadytowriteinthatstrainabouthim。Ifhehadnotenlistedmysympathieshehaddonebetterforhimself——hehadgonetotheveryfountandoriginofthatsentiment,hehadreachedthesecretsensibilityofmyegoism。Iamconcealingnothingfromyou,becausewereItodosomyactionwouldappearmoreunintelligiblethananyman’sactionhastherighttobe,and——inthesecondplace——to-morrowyoushallforgetmysincerityalongwiththeotherlessonsofthepast。
Inthistransaction,tospeakgrosslyandprecisely,Iwastheirreproachableman;butthesubtleintentionsofmyimmortalityweredefeatedbythemoralsimplicityofthecriminal。Nodoubthewasselfish,too,buthisselfishnesshadahigherorigin,amoreloftyaim。Idiscoveredthat,saywhatIwould,hewaseagertogothroughtheceremonyofexecution;andIdidn’tsaymuch,forIfeltthatinargumenthisyouthwouldtellagainstmeheavily:
hebelievedwhereIhadalreadyceasedtodoubt。Therewassomethingfineinthewildnessofhisunexpressed,hardlyformulatedhope。“Clearout!
Couldn’tthinkofit,“hesaid,withashakeofthehead。“ImakeyouanofferforwhichIneitherdemandnorexpectanysortofgratitude,“Isaid;
“youshallrepaythemoneywhenconvenient,and……““Awfullygoodofyou,“hemutteredwithoutlookingup。Iwatchedhimnarrowly:thefuturemusthaveappearedhorriblyuncertaintohim;buthedidnotfalter,asthoughindeedtherehadbeennothingwrongwithhisheart。Ifeltangry——notforthefirsttimethatnight。“Thewholewretchedbusiness,“Isaid,“isbitterenough,Ishouldthink,foramanofyourkind……““Itis,itis,“hewhisperedtwice,withhiseyesfixedonthefloor。Itwasheartrending。