Lord Jim

第13章

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第13章

Lord Jim Joseph Conrad

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Lord Jim
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  `Thelittleengineerwhimperedlikeachild,butbrokenarmandall,heturnedouttheleastcravenofthelotasitseems,and,actually,musteredenoughplucktorunanerrandtotheengine-room。Notrifle,itmustbeownedinfairnesstohim。Jimtoldmehedarteddesperatelookslikeacorneredman,gaveonelowwail,anddashedoff。Hewasbackinstantlyclambering,hammerinhand,andwithoutapauseflunghimselfatthebolt。

  TheothersgaveupJimatonceandranofftoassist。Heheardthetap,tapofthehammer,thesoundofthereleasedchockfallingover。Theboatwasclear。Onlythenheturnedtolook——onlythen。Buthekepthisdistance——hekepthisdistance。Hewantedmetoknowhehadkepthisdistance;thattherewasnothingincommonbetweenhimandthesemen——whohadthehammer。

  Nothingwhatever。Itismorethanprobablehethoughthimselfcutofffromthembyaspacethatcouldnotbetraversed,byanobstaclethatcouldnotbeovercome,byachasmwithoutbottom。Hewasasfarashecouldgetfromthem——thewholebreadthoftheship。

  `Hisfeetweregluedtothatremotespotandhiseyestotheirindistinctgroupbowedtogetherandswayingstrangelyinthecommontormentoffear。

  Ahand-lamplashedtoastanchionabovealittletableriggeduponthebridge——thePatnahadnochart-roomamidships——threwalightontheirlabouringshoulders,ontheirarchedandbobbingbacks。Theypushedatthebowoftheboat;theypushedoutintothenight;theypushed,andwouldnomorelookbackathim。Theyhadgivenhimupasifindeedhehadbeentoofar,toohopelesslyseparatedfromthemselves,tobeworthanappealingword,aglance,orasign。Theyhadnoleisuretolookbackuponhispassiveheroism,tofeelthestingofhisabstention。Theboatwasheavy;theypushedatthebowwithnobreathtospareforanencouragingword:buttheturmoilofterrorthathadscatteredtheirself-controllikechaffbeforethewind,convertedtheirdesperateexertionsintoabitoffooling,uponmywordfitforknockaboutclownsinafarce。Theypushedwiththeirhands,withtheirheads,theypushedfordearlifewithalltheweightoftheirbodies,theypushedwithallthemightoftheirsouls——onlynosoonerhadtheysucceededincantingthestemclearofthedavitthantheywouldleaveofflikeonemanandstartawildscrambleintoher。Asanaturalconsequencetheboatwouldswinginabruptly,drivingthemback,helplessandjostlingagainsteachother。Theywouldstandnonplussedforawhile,exchanginginfiercewhispersalltheinfamousnamestheycouldcalltomind,andgoatitagain。Threetimesthisoccurred。Hedescribedittomewithmorosethoughtfulness。Hehadn’tlostasinglemovementofthatcomicbusiness。“Iloathedthem。Ihatedthem。Ihadtolookatallthat,“hesaidwithoutemphasis,turninguponmeasombrelywatchfulglance。

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