TheArcadiansimplicityofthemetropolisaltogether，andtheprimitivewaysintowhichithasfalleninthisautumnalGoldenAge，makeitentirelynewtome。Withinafewhundredyardsofmyretreat，isthehouseofafriendwhomaintainsamostsumptuousbutler。Inever，untilyesterday，sawthatbutleroutofsuperfineblackbroadcloth。Untilyesterday，Ineversawhimoffduty，neversawhimheisthebestofbutlerswiththeappearanceofhavinganymindforanythingbutthegloryofhismasterandhismaster’sfriends。Yesterdaymorning，walkinginmyslippersnearthehouseofwhichheisthepropandornament-ahousenowawasteofshutters-Iencounteredthatbutler，alsoinhisslippers，andinashootingsuitofonecolour，andinalow-crownedstraw-hat，smokinganearlycigar。Hefeltthatwehadformerlymetinanotherstateofexistence，andthatweweretranslatedintoanewsphere。Wiselyandwell，hepassedmewithoutrecognition。Underhisarmhecarriedthemorningpaper，andshortlyafterwardsIsawhimsittingonarailinthepleasantopenlandscapeofRegent-
street，perusingitathiseaseundertheripeningsun。
Mylandlordhavingtakenhiswholeestablishmenttobesalteddown，Iamwaitedonbyanelderlywomanlabouringunderachronicsniff，who，attheshadowyhourofhalf-pastnineo’clockofeveryevening，givesadmittanceatthestreetdoortoameagreandmouldyoldmanwhomIhaveneveryetseendetachedfromaflatpintofbeerinapewterpot。Themeagreandmouldyoldmanisherhusband，andthepairhaveadejectedconsciousnessthattheyarenotjustifiedinappearingonthesurfaceoftheearth。TheycomeoutofsomeholewhenLondonemptiesitself，andgoinagainwhenitfills。IsawthemarriveontheeveningwhenImyselftookpossession，andtheyarrivedwiththeflatpintofbeer，andtheirbedinabundle。Theoldmanisaweakoldman，andappearedtometogetthebeddownthekitchenstairsbytumblingdownwithanduponit。Theymaketheirbedinthelowestandremotestcornerofthebasement，andtheysmellofbed，andhavenopossessionbutbed:unlessitbewhichIratherinferfromanunder-currentofflavourinthemcheese。Iknowtheirname，throughthechanceofhavingcalledthewife’sattention，athalf-pastnineonthesecondeveningofouracquaintance，tothecircumstanceoftherebeingsomeoneatthehousedoor；whensheapologeticallyexplained，’It’sonlyMr。Klem。’WhatbecomesofMr。Klemallday，orwhenhegoesout，orwhy，isamysteryIcannotpenetrate；butathalf-pastnineheneverfailstoturnuponthedoor-stepwiththeflatpintofbeer。Andthepintofbeer，flatasitis，issomuchmoreimportantthanhimself，thatitalwaysseemstomyfancyasifithadfoundhimdrivellinginthestreetandhadhumanelybroughthimhome。Inmakinghiswaybelow，Mr。Klemnevergoesdownthemiddleofthepassage，likeanotherChristian，butshufflesagainstthewallasifentreatingmetotakenoticethatheisoccupyingaslittlespaceaspossibleinthehouse；andwheneverIcomeuponhimfacetoface，hebacksfrommeinfascinatedconfusion。ThemostextraordinarycircumstanceIhavetracedinconnexionwiththisagedcouple，is，thatthereisaMissKlem，theirdaughter，apparentlytenyearsolderthaneitherofthem，whohasalsoabedandsmellsofit，andcarriesitabouttheearthatduskandhidesitindesertedhouses。IcameintothispieceofknowledgethroughMrs。Klem’sbeseechingmetosanctiontheshelteringofMissKlemunderthatroofforasinglenight，’betweenhertakin’careoftheupperpartinPallMallwhichthefamilyofhisback，anda’ouseinSerjameses-street，whichthefamilyofleavestowngter-morrer。’
IgavemygraciousconsenthavingnothingthatIknowoftodowithit，andintheshadowyhoursMissKlembecameperceptibleonthedoor-step，wrestlingwithabedinabundle。WhereshemadeitupforthenightIcannotpositivelystate，but，Ithink，inasink。Iknowthatwiththeinstinctofareptileoraninsect，shestoweditandherselfawayindeepobscurity。IntheKlemfamily，Ihavenoticedanotherremarkablegiftofnature，andthatisapowertheypossessofconvertingeverythingintoflue。Suchbrokenvictualsastheytakebystealth，appearwhateverthenatureoftheviandsinvariablytogenerateflue；andeventhenightlypintofbeer，insteadofassimilatingnaturally，strikesmeasbreakingoutinthatform，equallyontheshabbygownofMrs。Klem，andthethreadbarecoatofherhusband。
Mrs。Klemhasnoideaofmyname-astoMr。Klemhehasnoideaofanything-andonlyknowsmeashergoodgentleman。Thus，ifdoubtfulwhetherIaminmyroomorno，Mrs。Klemtapsatthedoorandsays，’Ismygoodgentlemanhere？’Or，ifamessengerdesiringtoseemewereconsistentwithmysolitude，shewouldshowhiminwith’Hereismygoodgentleman。’Ifindthistobeagenericcustom。For，Imeanttohaveobservedbeforenow，thatinitsArcadiantimeallmypartofLondonisindistinctlypervadedbytheKlemspecies。Theycreepaboutwithbeds，andgotobedinmilesofdesertedhouses。Theyholdnocompanionshipexceptthatsometimes，afterdark，twoofthemwillemergefromoppositehouses，andmeetinthemiddleoftheroadasonneutralground，orwillpeepfromadjoininghousesoveraninterposingbarrierofarearailings，andcompareafewreservedmistrustfulnotesrespectingtheirgoodladiesorgoodgentlemen。ThisIhavediscoveredinthecourseofvarioussolitaryramblesIhavetakenNorthwardfrommyretirement，alongtheawfulperspectivesofWimpole-street，Harley-