Iwasneverintherobbers’cave，whereGilBlaslived，butIoftengobackthereandfindthetrap-doorjustasheavytoraiseasitusedtobe，whilethatwickedolddisabledBlacklieseverlastinglycursinginbed。IwasneverinDonQuixote’sstudy，wherehereadhisbooksofchivalryuntilheroseandhackedatimaginarygiants，andthenrefreshedhimselfwithgreatdraughtsofwater，yetyoucouldn’tmoveabookinitwithoutmyknowledge，orwithmyconsent。IwasneverthankHeavenincompanywiththelittleoldwomanwhohobbledoutofthechestandtoldthemerchantAbudahtogoinsearchoftheTalismanofOromanes，yetImakeitmybusinesstoknowthatsheiswellpreservedandasintolerableasever。I
wasneverattheschoolwheretheboyHoratioNelsongotoutofbedtostealthepears:notbecausehewantedany，butbecauseeveryotherboywasafraid:yetIhaveseveraltimesbeenbacktothisAcademy，toseehimletdownoutofwindowwithasheet。SowithDamascus，andBagdad，andBrobingnagwhichhasthecuriousfateofbeingusuallymisspeltwhenwritten，andLilliput，andLaputa，andtheNile，andAbyssinia，andtheGanges，andtheNorthPole，andmanyhundredsofplaces-Iwasneveratthem，yetitisanaffairofmylifetokeepthemintact，andIamalwaysgoingbacktothem。
But，whenIwasinDullboroughoneday，revisitingtheassociationsofmychildhoodasrecordedinpreviouspagesofthesenotes，myexperienceinthiswisewasmadequiteinconsiderableandofnoaccount，bythequantityofplacesandpeople-utterlyimpossibleplacesandpeople，butnonethelessalarminglyreal-thatIfoundIhadbeenintroducedtobymynursebeforeIwassixyearsold，andusedtobeforcedtogobacktoatnightwithoutatallwantingtogo。Ifweallknewourownmindsinamoreenlargedsensethanthepopularacceptationofthatphrase，Isuspectweshouldfindournursesresponsibleformostofthedarkcornersweareforcedtogobackto，againstourwills。
ThefirstdiabolicalcharacterwhointrudedhimselfonmypeacefulyouthasIcalledtomindthatdayatDullborough，wasacertainCaptainMurderer。Thiswretchmusthavebeenanoff-shootoftheBlueBeardfamily，butIhadnosuspicionoftheconsanguinityinthosetimes。Hiswarningnamewouldseemtohaveawakenednogeneralprejudiceagainsthim，forhewasadmittedintothebestsocietyandpossessedimmensewealth。CaptainMurderer’smissionwasmatrimony，andthegratificationofacannibalappetitewithtenderbrides。Onhismarriagemorning，healwayscausedbothsidesofthewaytochurchtobeplantedwithcuriousflowers；andwhenhisbridesaid，’DearCaptainMurderer，Ieversawflowerslikethesebefore:whataretheycalled？’heanswered，’TheyarecalledGarnishforhouse-lamb，’andlaughedathisferociouspracticaljokeinahorridmanner，disquietingthemindsofthenoblebridalcompany，withaverysharpshowofteeth，thendisplayedforthefirsttime。Hemadeloveinacoachandsix，andmarriedinacoachandtwelve，andallhishorsesweremilk-whitehorseswithoneredspotonthebackwhichhecausedtobehiddenbytheharness。For，thespotWOULDcomethere，thougheveryhorsewasmilk-whitewhenCaptainMurdererboughthim。Andthespotwasyoungbride’sblood。TothisterrificpointIamindebtedformyfirstpersonalexperienceofashudderandcoldbeadsontheforehead。WhenCaptainMurdererhadmadeanendoffeastingandrevelry，andhaddismissedthenobleguests，andwasalonewithhiswifeonthedaymonthaftertheirmarriage，itwashiswhimsicalcustomtoproduceagoldenrolling-pinandasilverpie-board。
Now，therewasthisspecialfeatureintheCaptain’scourtships，thathealwaysaskediftheyoungladycouldmakepie-crust；andifshecouldn’tbynatureoreducation，shewastaught。Well。WhenthebridesawCaptainMurdererproducethegoldenrolling-pinandsilverpie-board，sherememberedthis，andturnedupherlaced-silksleevestomakeapie。TheCaptainbroughtoutasilverpie-dishofimmensecapacity，andtheCaptainbroughtoutflourandbutterandeggsandallthingsneedful，excepttheinsideofthepie；ofmaterialsforthestapleofthepieitself，theCaptainbroughtoutnone。Thensaidthelovelybride，’DearCaptainMurderer，whatpieisthistobe？’Hereplied，’Ameatpie。’Thensaidthelovelybride，’DearCaptainMurderer，Iseenomeat。’TheCaptainhumorouslyretorted，’Lookintheglass。’Shelookedintheglass，butstillshesawnomeat，andthentheCaptainroaredwithlaughter，andsuddenlyfrowninganddrawinghissword，badeherrolloutthecrust。Sosherolledoutthecrust，droppinglargetearsuponitallthetimebecausehewassocross，andwhenshehadlinedthedishwithcrustandhadcutthecrustallreadytofitthetop，theCaptaincalledout，’Iseethemeatintheglass！’