thehushoffeverish,intolerableexpectation。Thestillearth,theheavyflowers,eventhegrowingdarkness,breathedtheexhaustionofprotractedwaiting。Carolinefeltthatsheoughttogo;thatitwaswrongtostay;thatthehourandtheplacewereastreacherousasherownreflections。Sheroseandbegantopacethefloor,steppingsoftly,asthoughinfearofawakeningsomeone,herfigure,initsthindrapery,diaphanouslyvagueandwhite。Stillunabletoshakeofftheobsessionoftheintensestillness,shesatdownatthepianoandbegantorunoverthefirstactoftheWalkure,thelastofhisrolestheyhadpracticedtogether;playinglistlesslyandabsentlyatfirst,butwithgraduallyincreasingseriousness。Perhapsitwasthestillheatofthesummernight,perhapsitwastheheavyodorsfromthegardenthatcameinthroughtheopenwindows;butassheplayedtheregrewandgrewthefeelingthathewasthere,besideher,standinginhisaccustomedplace。Intheduetattheendofthefirstactsheheardhimclearly:“ThouarttheSpringforwhichIsighedinWinter’scoldembraces。“Onceashesangit,hehadputhisarmabouther,hisonehandunderherheart,whilewiththeotherhetookherrightfromthekeyboard,holdingherashealwaysheldSieglindewhenhedrewhertowardthewindow。Shehadbeenwonderfullythemistressofherselfatthetime;neitherrepellentnoracquiescent。Sherememberedthatshehadratherexulted,then,inherself-control——whichhehadseemedtotakeforgranted,thoughtherewasperhapsthewhisperofaquestionfromthehandunderherheart。“ThouarttheSpringforwhichIsighedinWinter’scoldembraces。“Carolineliftedherhandsquicklyfromthekeyboard,andshebowedherheadinthem,sobbing。
Thestormbrokeandtherainbeatin,spatteringhernightdressuntilsheroseandloweredthewindows。Shedroppeduponthecouchandbeganfightingoveragainthebattlesofotherdays,whiletheghostsoftheslainroseasfromasowingofdragon’steeth,Theshadowsofthings,alwayssoscornedandflouted,boredownuponhermercilessandtriumphant。Itwasnotenough;thishappy,useful,well-orderedlifewasnotenough。Itdidnotsatisfy,itwasnotevenreal。No,theotherthings,theshadows-theyweretherealities。Herfather,poorHeinrich,evenhermother,whohadbeenabletosustainherpoorromanceandkeepherlittleillusionsamidthetasksofascullion,werenearerhappinessthanshe。Hersurefoundationwasbutmadeground,afterall,andthepeopleinKlingsor’sgardenweremorefortunate,howeverbarrenthesandsfromwhichtheyconjuredtheirparadise。
Thelodgewasstillandsilent;herfitofweepingover,Carolinemadenosound,andwithintheroom,aswithoutinthegarden,wastheblacknessofstorm。Onlynowandthenaflashoflightningshowedawoman’sslenderfigurerigidonthecouch,herfaceburiedinherhands。
Towardmorning,whentheoccasionalrumblingofthunderwasheardnomoreandthebeatoftheraindropsupontheorchardleaveswassteadier,shefellasleepanddidnotwakenuntilthefirstredstreaksofdawnshonethroughthetwistedboughsoftheappletrees。Therewasamomentbetweenworldandworld,when,neitherasleepnorawake,shefeltherdreamgrowthin,meltingawayfromher,feltthewarmthunderherheartgrowingcold。Somethingseemedtoslipfromtheclingingholdofherarms,andshegroanedprotestinglythroughherpartedlips,followingitalittlewaywithflutteringhands。Thenhereyesopenedwideandshesprangupandsatholdingdizzilytothecushionsofthecouch,staringdownatherbare,coldfeet,atherlaboringbreast,risingandfallingunderheropennightdress。
Thedreamwasgone,butthefeverishrealityofitstillpervadedherandshehelditasthevibratingstringholdsatone。InthelasthourtheshadowshadhadtheirwaywithCaroline。Theyhadshownherthenothingnessoftimeandspace,ofsystemanddiscipline,ofcloseddoorsandbroadwaters。