HerworstoffenceformewasanoccasionalexcursionintotheSmithiestyleofdressing，debasedWestKensington。Forshehadnosenseatallofherownbeauty。Shehadnocomprehensionwhateverofbeautyofthebody，andshecouldslashherbeautifullinestoragswithhat-brimsandtrimmings。ThankHeaven！anaturalrefinement，anaturaltimidity，andherextremelyslenderpursekeptherfromtherealSmithieefflorescence！
Poor，simple，beautiful，kindlylimitedMarion！NowthatIamforty-five，Icanlookbackatherwithallmyoldadmirationandnoneofmyoldbitternesswithanewaffectionandnotascrapofpassion，andtakeherpartagainsttheequallystupid，drivingly-energetic，sensuous，intellectualsprawlIusedtobe。
Iwasayoungbeastforhertohavemarried——ahoundbeast。Withheritwasmybusinesstounderstandandcontrol——andIexactedfellowship，passion。
Webecameengaged，asIhavetold；webrokeitoffandjoinedagain。Wewentthroughasuccessionofsuchphases。Wehadnosortofideawhatwaswrongwithus。Presentlywewereformallyengaged。Ihadawonderfulinterviewwithherfather，inwhichhewasstupendouslygraveandH——less，wantedtoknowaboutmyoriginsandwastolerantexasperatinglytolerantbecausemymotherwasaservant，andafterwardshermothertooktokissingme，andIboughtaring。Butthespeechlessaunt，Igathered，didn’tapprove——havingdoubtsofmyreligiosity。Wheneverwewereestrangedwecouldkeepapartfordays；andtobeginwith，everysuchseparationwasarelief。AndthenIwouldwanther；arestlesslongingwouldcomeuponme。Iwouldthinkoftheflowofherarms，ofthesoft，graciousbendofherbody。IwouldlieawakeordreamofatransfiguredMarionoflightandfire。ItwasindeedDameNaturedrivingmeontowomankindinherstupid，inexorableway；butIthoughtitwastheneedofMarionthattroubledme。SoIalwayswentbacktoMarionatlastandmadeitupandmoreorlessconcededorignoredwhateverthinghadpartedus，andmoreandmoreIurgedhertomarryme。
Inthelongrunthatbecameafixedidea。Itentangledmywillandmypride；ItoldmyselfIwasnotgoingtobebeaten。I