OpesStrepitumque。
Thefoodofthebodydiffersnotsogreatlyforthefoolorthesage，theelephantorthecock-sparrow；andsimilarchemicalelements，variouslydisguised，supportallmortals。AbriefstudyofPinkertoninhisnewsettingconvincedmeofakindredtruthaboutthatotherandmentaldigestion，bywhichweextractwhatiscalled“funforourmoney“outoflife。Inthesamespiritasaschoolboy，deepinMayneReid，handlesadummygunandcrawlsamongimaginaryforests，PinkertonspedthroughKearneyStreetuponhisdailybusiness，representingtohimselfahighlycolouredpartinlife’sperformance，andhappyforhoursifheshouldhavechancedtobrushagainstamillionnaire。Realitywashisromance；hegloriedtobethusengaged；hewallowedinhisbusiness。
SupposeamantodigupagalleonontheCoromandelcoast，hisrakishschoonerkeepingthewhileanoffingundereasysail，andhe，bytheblazeofagreatfireofwreckwood，tomeasureingotsbythebucketfulontheuproariousbeach：suchanonemightrealiseagreatermaterialspoil；heshouldhavenomoreprofitofromancethanPinkertonwhenhecastuphisweeklybalance-sheetinabaldoffice。Everydollargainedwaslikesomethingbroughtashorefromamysteriousdeep；everyventuremadewaslikeadiver’splunge；andashethrusthisboldhandintotheplexusofthemoney-market，hewasdelightedlyawareofhowheshookthepillarsofexistence，turnedoutmenasatabattle-crytolabourinfarcountries，andsetthegoldtwitchinginthedrawersofmillionnaires。
Icouldneverfathomthefullextentofhisspeculations；buttherewerefiveseparatebusinesseswhichheavowedandcarriedlikeabanner。TheThirteenStarGoldenStateBrandy，WarrantedEntireaveryflagrantdistillationfilledagreatpartofhisthoughts，andwaskeptbeforethepublicinaneloquentbutmisleadingtreatise：_WhyDrinkFrenchBrandy？AWordtotheWise。_Hekeptanofficeforadvertisers，counselling，designing，actingasmiddlemanwithprintersandbill-stickers，fortheinexperiencedortheuninspired：thedullhaberdashercametohimforideas，thesmarttheatricalagentforhislocalknowledge；andoneandalldepartedwithacopyofhispamphlet：_How，When，andWhere；or，theAdvertiser’sVade-Mecum。_HehadatugcharteredeverySaturdayafternoonandnight，carriedpeopleoutsidetheHeads，andprovidedthemwithlinesandbaitforsixhours’fishing，attherateoffivedollarsaperson。Iamtoldthatsomeofthemdoubtlessadroitanglersmadeaprofitonthetransaction。
Occasionallyheboughtwrecksandcondemnedvessels；theselatterIcannottellyouhowfoundtheirwaytoseaagainunderaliases，andcontinuedtostemthewavestriumphantlyenoughunderthecoloursofBoliviaorNicaragua。Lastly，therewasacertainagriculturalengine，gloryinginagreatdealofvermilionandbluepaint，andfillingitappeareda“long-feltwant。”inwhichhisinterestwassomethinglikeatenth。