The Works of Edgar Allan Poe

第73章

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第73章

The Works of Edgar Allan Poe Edgar Allan Poe

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The Works of Edgar Allan Poe
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  Ihavealreadymorethanoncespokenofthedisgustingairofpatronagewhichheassumedtowardme,andofhisfrequentofficiousinterferencewithymywill。Thisinterferenceoftentooktheungraciouscharacterofadvice;advicenotopenlygiven,buthintedorinsinuated。IreceiveditwitharepugnancewhichgainedstrengthasIgrewinyears。Yet,atthisdistantday,letmedohimthesimplejusticetoacknowledgethatIcanrecallnooccasionwhenthesuggestionsofmyrivalwereonthesideofthoseerrorsorfolliessousualtohisimmatureageandseeminginexperience;thathismoralsense,atleast,ifnothisgeneraltalentsandworldlywisdom,wasfarkeenerthanmyown;andthatImight,to-day,havebeenabetter,andthusahappierman,hadIlessfrequentlyrejectedthecounselsembodiedinthosemeaningwhisperswhichIthenbuttoocordiallyhatedandtoobitterlydespised。

  Asitwas,Iatlengthgrewrestiveintheextremeunderhisdistastefulsupervision,anddailyresentedmoreandmoreopenlywhatIconsideredhisintolerablearrogance。Ihavesaidthat,inthefirstyearsofourconnexionasschoolmates,myfeelingsinregardtohimmighthavebeeneasilyripenedintofriendship:but,inthelattermonthsofmyresidenceattheacademy,althoughtheintrusionofhisordinarymannerhad,beyonddoubt,insomemeasure,abated,mysentiments,innearlysimilarproportion,partookverymuchofpositivehatred。Upononeoccasionhesawthis,Ithink,andafterwardsavoided,ormadeashowofavoidingme。

  Itwasaboutthesameperiod,ifIrememberaright,that,inanaltercationofviolencewithhim,inwhichhewasmorethanusuallythrownoffhisguard,andspokeandactedwithanopennessofdemeanorratherforeigntohisnature,Idiscovered,orfanciedI

  discovered,inhisaccent,hisair,andgeneralappearance,asomethingwhichfirststartled,andthendeeplyinterestedme,bybringingtominddimvisionsofmyearliestinfancywild,confusedandthrongingmemoriesofatimewhenmemoryherselfwasyetunborn。

  IcannotbetterdescribethesensationwhichoppressedmethanbysayingthatIcouldwithdifficultyshakeoffthebeliefofmyhavingbeenacquaintedwiththebeingwhostoodbeforeme,atsomeepochverylongagosomepointofthepasteveninfinitelyremote。Thedelusion,however,fadedrapidlyasitcame;andImentionitatallbuttodefinethedayofthelastconversationIthereheldwithmysingularnamesake。

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