`WheneveryouandIaretogether，Marian，’shesaid，`weshallbothbehappierandeasierwithoneanother，ifweacceptmymarriedlifeforwhatitis，andsayandthinkaslittleaboutitaspossible。Iwouldtellyoueverything，darling，aboutmyself，’shewenton，nervouslybucklingandunbucklingtheribbonroundmywaist，`ifmyconfidencescouldonlyendthere。Buttheycouldnot——theywouldleadmeintoconfidencesaboutmyhusbandtoo；andnowIammarried，IthinkIhadbetteravoidthem，forhissake，andforyoursake，andformine。Idon’tsaythattheywoulddistressyou，ordistressme——Iwouldn’thaveyouthinkthatfortheworld。But——Iwanttobesohappy，nowIhavegotyoubackagain，andIwantyoutobesohappytoo——’Shebrokeoffabruptly，andlookedroundtheroom，myownsitting-room，inwhichweweretalking。`Ah！’shecried，clappingherhandswithabrightsmileofrecognition，`anotheroldfriendfoundalready！Yourbookcase，Marian——yourdear-little-shabby-old-satin-woodbookcase——howgladIamyoubroughtitwithyoufromLimmeridge！Andthehorridheavyman’sumbrella，thatyoualwayswouldwalkoutwithwhenitrained！Andfirstandforemostofall，yourowndear，dark。clever，gipsy-face，lookingatmejustasusual！Itissolikehomeagaintobehere。Howcanwemakeitmorelikehomestill？Iwillputmyfather’sportraitinyourroominsteadofmine——andIwillkeepallmylittletreasuresfromLimmeridgehere——andwewillpasshoursandhourseverydaywiththesefourfriendlywallsroundus。Oh，Marian！’shesaid，suddenlyseatingherselfonafootstoolatmyknees，andlookingupearnestlyinmyface，`promiseyouwillnevermarry，andleaveme。Itisselfishtosayso，butyouaresomuchbetteroffasasinglewoman——unless——unlessyouarcveryfondofyourhusband——butyouwon’tbeveryfondofanybodybutme，willyou？’Shestoppedagain，crossedmyhandsonmylap，andlaidherfaceonthem。`Haveyoubeenwritingmanyletters，andreceivingmanyletterslately？’sheasked，inlow，suddenly-alteredtones。Iunderstoodwhatthequestionmeant，butIthoughtitmydutynottoencourageherbymeetingherhalfway。`Haveyouheardfromhim？’shewenton，coaxingmetoforgivethemoredirectappealonwhichshenowventured，bykissingmyhands，uponwhichherfacestillrested。`Ishewellandhappy，andgettingoninhisprofession？Hasherecoveredhimself——andforgottenme？’
Sheshouldnothaveaskedthosequestions。Sheshouldhaverememberedherownresolution，onthemorningwhenSirPercivalheldhertohermarriageengagement，andwhensheresignedthebookofHartright’sdrawingsintomyhandsforever。But，ahme！whereisthefaultlesshumancreaturewhocanpersevereinagoodresolution，withoutsometimesfailingandfallingback？Whereisthewomanwhohaseverreallytornfromherhearttheimagethathasbeenoncefixedinitbyatruelove？Bookstellusthatsuchunearthlycreatureshaveexisted——butwhatdoesourownexperiencesayinanswertobooks？
Imadenoattempttoremonstratewithher：perhaps，becauseIsincerelyappreciatedthefearlesscandourwhichletmesee，whatotherwomeninherpositionmighthavehadreasonsforconcealingevenfromtheirdearestfriends——perhaps，becauseIfelt，inmyownheartandconscience，thatinherplaceIshouldhaveaskedthesamequestionsandhadthesamethoughts。
AllIcouldhonestlydowastoreplythatIhadnotwrittentohimorheardfromhimlately，andthentoturntheconversationtolessdangeroustopics。
Therehasbeenmuchtosaddenmeinourinterview——myfirstconfidentialinterviewwithhersinceherreturn。Thechangewhichhermarriagehasproducedinourrelationstowardseachother，byplacingaforbiddensubjectbetweenus，forthefirsttimeinourlives；themelancholyconvictionofthedearthofallwarmthoffeeling，ofallclosesympathy，betweenherhusbandandherself，whichherownunwillingwordsnowforceonmymind；thedistressingdiscoverythattheinfluenceofthatill-fatedattachmentstillremainsriomatterhowinnocently，howharmlesslyrootedasdeeplyaseverinherheart——allthesearedisclosurestosaddenanywomanwholovesherasdearly，andfeelsforherasacutely，asIdoThereisonlyoneconsolationtosetagainstthem——aconsolationthatoughttocomfortme，andthatdoescomfortme。Allthegracesandgentlenessofhercharacter——allthefrankaffectionofhernature——allthesweet，simple，womanlycharmswhichusedtomakeherthedarlinganddelightofeveryonewhoapproachedher，havecomebacktomewithherself。OfmyotherimpressionsIamsometimesalittleinclinedtodoubt。Ofthislast，best，happiestofallimpressions，Igrowmoreandmorecertaineveryhourintheday。