Chance

第4章

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第4章

Chance Jackie Collins

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Chance
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  verysingularexpressionwhich,asitwere,detainedhimforamoment。Inordertocoverhisembarrassment,hemadesomeinaneremarkontheweather,uponwhich,insteadofreturninganotherinaneremarkaccordingtothetacitrulesofthegame,sheonlygavehimasmileofunfathomablemeaning。Nothingcouldhavebeenmoresingular。Thegood-lookingyounggentlemanofquestionableappearancetooknottheslightestnoticeofhiminthehall。Noservantwastobeseen。Helethimselfoutpullingthedoortobehindhimwithacrashas,inamanner,hewasforcedtodotogetitshutatall。

  Whentheechoofithaddiedawaythewomanonthelandingleanedoverthebanisterandcalledoutbitterlytothemanbelow”Don’tyouwanttocomeupandsaygood-bye。”Hehadanimpatientmovementoftheshouldersandwentonpacingtoandfroasthoughhehadnotheard。Butsuddenlyhecheckedhimself,stoodstillforamoment,thenwithagloomyfaceandwithouttakinghishandsoutofhispocketsransmartlyupthestairs。Alreadyfacingthedoorsheturnedherheadforawhisperedtaunt:”Come!Confessyouweredyingtoseeherstupidlittlefaceoncemore,”——towhichhedisdainedtoanswer。

  FloradeBarral,stillseatedbeforethetableatwhichshehadbeenwordingonhersketch,raisedherheadatthenoiseoftheopeningdoor。Theinvadingmanneroftheirentrancegaveherthesenseofsomethingshehadneverseenbefore。Sheknewthemwell。Sheknewthewomanbetterthansheknewherfather。Therehadbeenbetweenthemanintimacyofrelationasgreatasitcanpossiblybewithoutthefinalclosenessofaffection。ThedelightfulCharleywalkedin,withhiseyesfixedonthebackofhergovernesswhoseraisedveilhidherforeheadlikeabrownbandabovetheblacklineoftheeyebrows。Thegirlwasastoundedandalarmedbythealtogetherunknownexpressioninthewoman’sface。Thestressofpassionoftendisclosesanaspectofthepersonalitycompletelyignoredtillthenbyitsclosestintimates。Therewassomethinglikeanemanationofevilfromhereyesandfromthefaceoftheother,who,exactlybehindherandovertoppingherbyhalfahead,kepthiseyelidsloweredinasinisterfashion——whichinthepoorgirl,reached,stirred,setfreethatfacultyofunreasoningexplosiveterrorlyinglockedupatthebottomofallhumanheartsandoftheheartsofanimalsaswell。Withsuddenlyenlargedpupilsandamovementasinstinctivealmostastheboundingofastartledfawn,shejumpedupandfoundherselfinthemiddleofthebigroom,exclaimingatthoseamazingandfamiliarstrangers。”Whatdoyouwant?”

  Youwillnotethatshecried:Whatdoyouwant?Not:Whathashappened?ShetoldMrs。Fynethatshehadreceivedsuddenlythefeelingofbeingpersonallyattacked。Andthatmusthavebeenveryterrifying。Thewomanbeforeherhadbeenthewisdom,theauthority,theprotectionoflife,securityembodiedandvisibleandundisputed。

  Youmayimaginethentheforceoftheshockintheintuitiveperceptionnotmerelyofdanger,forshedidnotknowwhatwasalarmingher,butinthesenseofthesecuritybeinggone。Andnotonlysecurity。Idon’tknowhowtoexplainitclearly。Look!Evenasmallchildlives,playsandsuffersintermsofitsconceptionofitsownexistence。Imagine,ifyoucan,afactcominginsuddenlywithaforcecapableofshatteringthatveryconceptionitself。Itwasonlybecauseofthegirlbeingstillsomuchofachildthatsheescapedmentaldestruction;that,inotherwordsshegotoverit。

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