First，JemmyTweedlefeltonhishinderheadthedirefulbone。Himthepleasantbanksofsweetly-windingStourhadnourished，wherehefirstlearntthevocalart，withwhich，wanderingupanddownatwakesandfairs，hecheeredtheruralnymphsandswains，whenuponthegreentheyinterweavedthesprightlydance；whilehehimselfstoodfiddlingandjumpingtohisownmusic。Howlittlenowavailshisfiddle！Hethumpstheverdantfloorwithhiscarcass。Next，oldEchepole，thesowgelder，receivedablowinhisforeheadfromourAmazonianheroine，andimmediatelyfelltotheground。Hewasaswingingfatfellow，andfellwithalmostasmuchnoiseasahouse。
Histobacco-boxdroppedatthesametimefromhispocket，whichMollytookupaslawfulspoils。ThenKateoftheMilltumbledunfortunatelyoveratombstone，whichcatchingholdofherungarteredstockinginvertedtheorderofnature，andgaveherheelsthesuperioritytoherhead。BettyPippin，withyoungRogerherlover，fellbothtotheground；where，ohperversefate！shesalutestheearth，andhethesky。TomFreckle，thesmith’sson，wasthenextvictimtoherrage。Hewasaningeniousworkman，andmadeexcellentpattens；nay，theverypattenwithwhichhewasknockeddownwashisownworkmanship。Hadhebeenatthattimesingingpsalmsinthechurch，hewouldhaveavoidedabrokenhead。MissCrow，thedaughterofafarmer；JohnGiddish，himselfafarmer；NanSlouch，EstherCodling，WillSpray，TomBennet；thethreeMissesPotter，whosefatherkeepsthesignoftheRedLion；BettyChambermaid，JackOstler，andmanyothersofinferiornote，layrollingamongthegraves。
NotthatthestrenuousarmofMollyreachedallthese；formanyofthemintheirflightoverthreweachother。
ButnowFortune，fearingshehadactedoutofcharacter，andhadinclinedtoolongtothesameside，especiallyasitwastherightside，hastilyturnedabout:fornowGoodyBrown-whomZekielBrowncaressedinhisarms；norhealone，buthalftheparishbesides；sofamouswassheinthefieldsofVenus，norindeedlessinthoseofMars。Thetrophiesofboththeseherhusbandalwaysboreaboutonhisheadandface；forifeverhumanheaddidbyitshornsdisplaytheamorousgloriesofawife，Zekiel’sdid；nordidhiswell-scratchedfacelessdenotehertalentsorrathertalonsofadifferentkind。
NolongerborethisAmazontheshamefulflightofherparty。Shestoptshort，and，callingaloudtoallwhofled，spokeasfollows:\"YeSomersetshiremen，orratheryeSomersetshirewomen，areyenotashamedthustoflyfromasinglewoman？Butifnootherwillopposeher，ImyselfandJoanTopherewillhavethehonourofthevictory。\"Havingthussaid，sheflewatMollySeagrim，andeasilywrenchedthethigh-bonefromherhand，atthesametimeclawingoffhercapfromherhead。ThenlayingholdofthehairofMollywithherlefthand，sheattackedhersofuriouslyinthefacewiththeright，thatthebloodsoonbegantotricklefromhernose。Mollywasnotidlethiswhile。ShesoonremovedthecloutfromtheheadofGoodyBrown，andthenfasteningonherhairwithonehand，withtheothershecausedanotherbloodystreamtoissueforthfromthenostrilsoftheenemy。