Jacobmusthaveleakedsomeofhisbenevolentintentions，foranimmensepersonwithabaldfaceandamouththatlookedasifitoughttohavea“DropLettersHere“signoverithookedafingeraroundhimandsethiminaspacebetweenabarber”spoleandastackofashcans。Wordscameoutofthepost-officeslit——smooth，huskywordswithgloveson”em，butsoundingasiftheymightturntobareknucklesanymoment。
“Say，Sport，doyouknowwhereyouareat？Well，disisMikeO”Grady”sdistrictyou”rebuttin”into——see？Mike”sgotdestomach-
acheprivilegeforeverykidindisneighborhood——see？Andifdere”sanypicnicsorredballoonstobedealtouthere，Mike”smoneypaysfor”em——see？Don”tyoubuttin，orsomething”llbehandedtoyou。Yoused——settlersandreformerswithyoursocialologiesandyourmillionairedetectiveshavegotdisdistrictinahellofafix，anyhow。Withyourcollegestudentsandprofessorsrough-housingdesoda-waterstandsanddemrubber-neckcoachesfillin”destreets，defolksdownhereare”fraidtogooutofdehouses。Now，youleave”emtoMike。Deybelongstohim，andheknowshowtohandle”em。Keeponyourownsideofdetown。Areyousomewisernow，uncle，ordoyouwanttoscrapwit”MikeO”GradyfordeSantaClausbeltindisdistrict？“
Clearly，thatspotinthemoralvineyardwaspreempted。SoCaliphSpragginsmenacednomorethepeopleinthebazaarsoftheEastSide。Tokeepdownhisgrowingsurplushedoubledhisdonationstoorganizedcharity，presentedtheY。M。C。A。ofhisnativetownwitha$10，000collectionofbutterflies，andsentachecktothefaminesufferersinChinabigenoughtobuynewemeraldeyesanddiamond-filledteethforalltheirgods。Butnoneofthesecharitableactsseemedtobringpeacetothecaliph”sheart。Hetriedtogetapersonalnoteintohisbenefactionsbytippingbellboysandwaiters$10and$20bills。Hegotwellsnickeredatandderidedforthatbytheminionswhoacceptwithrespectgratuitiescommensuratetotheserviceperformed。Hesoughtoutanambitiousandtalentedbutpooryoungwoman，andboughtforherthestarpartinanewcomedy。Hemighthavegottenridof$50，000moreofhiscumbersomemoneyinthisphilanthropyifhehadnotneglectedtowriteletterstoher。Butshelostthesuitforlackofevidence，whilehiscapitalstillkeptpilingup，andhis_optikosneedleorumcamelibus_——orrichman”sdisease——wasunrelieved。
InCaliphSpraggins”s$3，000，000homelivedhissisterHenrietta，whousedtocookforthecoalminersinatwenty-five-centeatinghouseinCoketown，Pa。，andwhonowwouldhaveofferedJohnMitchellonlytwofingersofherhandtoshake。AndhisdaughterCelia，nineteen，backfromboarding-schoolandfrombeingpolishedoffbyprivateinstructorsintherestaurantlanguagesandthose”etudesandthings。