THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY

第14章

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第14章

THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY Henry James

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THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY
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  Don’tyoulikeMadameMerle?Isabelhadoncesaidtohim。Shethinksagreatdealofyou。

  I’lltellyouonceforall,Osmondhadanswered。IlikedheroncebetterthanIdoto-day。I’mtiredofher,andI’mratherashamedofit。She’ssoalmostunnaturallygood!I’mgladshe’snotinItaly。

  itmakesforrelaxation-forasortofmoraldetente。Don’ttalkofhertoomuch。itseemstobringherback。She’llcomebackinplentyoftime。

  MadameMerle,infact,hadcomebackbeforeitwastoolate-toolate,Imean,torecoverwhateveradvantageshemighthavelost。Butmeantime,if,asIhavesaid,shewassensiblydifferent,Isabel’sfeelingswerealsonotquitethesame。Herconsciousnessofthesituationwasasacuteasofold,butitwasmuchlesssatisfying。A

  dissatisfiedmind,whateverelseitmaymiss,israrelyinwantofreasons。theybloomasthickasbuttercupsinJune。ThefactofMadameMerle’shavinghadahandinGilbertOsmond’smarriageceasedtobeoneofhertitlestoconsideration。itmighthavebeenwritten,afterall,thattherewasnotsomuchtothankherfor。Astimewentontherewaslessandless,andIsabeloncesaidtoherselfthatperhapswithoutherthesethingswouldnothavebeen。Thatreflectionindeedwasinstantlystifled。sheknewanimmediatehorrorathavingmadeit。Whateverhappenstomeletmenotbeunjust,shesaid。Letmebearmyburdensmyselfandnotshiftthemuponothers!Thisdispositionwastested,eventually,bythatingeniousapologyforherpresentconductwhichMadameMerlesawfittomakeandofwhichIhavegivenasketch。fortherewassomethingirritating-therewasalmostanairofmockery-inherneatdiscriminationsandclearconvictions。InIsabel’smindto-daytherewasnothingclear。therewasaconfusionofregrets,acomplicationoffears。Shefelthelplessassheturnedawayfromherfriend,whohadjustmadethestatementsIhavequoted:MadameMerleknewsolittlewhatshewasthinkingof!Shewasherselfmoreoversounabletoexplain。jealousofher-jealousofherwithGilbert?Theideajustthensuggestednonearreality。

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