Indueseason，though，hereachestheagewhereadolescentwhiskersandyoungromancebegintosproutoutonhimsimultaneously——andfromthatmomentonfortherestofhislifehishairisgivinghimbother，andplentyofit。
Yourhairgivesyoubotheraslongasyouhaveitandmorebotherwhenitstartstogo。Youarealwaysdoingsomethingforitanditisalwaysshowingdeep—dyedingratitudeinreturn;orelsethedyeisn\'tdeepenough，whichisevenworse。Hairisresponsibleforsuchbyproductsasdandruff，barbers，wigs，severalcomicweeklies，mentalanguish，addedexpense，Chineserevolutions，andthestandardjokeaboutyourwife\'susingyourbestrazortoopenacanoftomatoeswith。HairhasbeenofaidtoBuffaloBill，LittleLordFauntleroy，Samson，TheLadyGodiva，Jo—Jo，theDog—FacedBoy，poets，pianists，someartistsandmostmattressmakers，butadrawbackandasorrowtoAbsalom，polarbearsincaptivityandthemalesexingeneral。
Thisassertiongoesnotonlyforhairontheheadbutforhairontheface。Letusconsiderforamomentthematterofshaving。
Ifyoushaveyourselfyouexciteabarber\'scontempt，andthereisnobodywhosecontempttheaveragemandreadsmorethanabarber\'s，unlessitisawaiter\'s。Andontheotherhand，ifyouletabarbershaveyouheexcitesnotyourcontemptparticularly，butyourrageandfrequentlyyourundyinghatred。Onceinaburstofconfidenceabarbertoldmeoneofthetradesecretsofhisprofession——hesaidthatamongbarberseveryfacefellintooneofthreeclasses，itbeingeitherasquare，aroundorasquirrel。Iknownot，reader，whetheryoursbeasquareoraroundorasquirrel，butthismuchIwillchanceonaventure，sightunseen——thatyouhaveyourperiodsofintenseunhappinesswhenyouarebeingshaved。
Idonotrefersomuchtotheactualprocessofbeingshaved。