ItappearedtobetheplanofLudloerathertodampthantostimulatemyzeal。Hediscouragedallattemptstorenewthesubjectinconversation。HedweltuponthearduousnessoftheofficetowhichIaspired，thetemptationstoviolatemydutywithwhichIshouldbecontinuallybeset，theinevitabledeathwithwhichtheslightestbreachofmyengagementswouldbefollowed，andthelongapprenticeshipwhichitwouldbenecessaryformetoserve，beforeIshouldbefittedtoenterintothisconclave。
Sometimesmycouragewasdepressedbytheserepresentations。
Myzeal，however，wassuretorevive；andatlengthLudloedeclaredhimselfwillingtoassistmeintheaccomplishmentofmywishes。Forthisend，itwasnecessary，hesaid，thatI
shouldbeinformedofasecondobligation，whicheverycandidatemustassume。Beforeanyonecouldbedeemedqualified，hemustbethoroughlyknowntohisassociates。Forthisend，hemustdeterminetodiscloseeveryfactinhishistory，andeverysecretofhisheart。Imustbeginwithmakingtheseconfessionswithregardtomypastlife，toLudloe，andmustcontinuetocommunicate，atstatedseasons，everynewthought，andeverynewoccurrence，tohim。Thisconfidencewastobeabsolutelylimitless:noexceptionsweretobeadmitted，andnoreservestobepractised；andthesamepenaltyattendedtheinfractionofthisruleasoftheformer。Meanswouldbeemployed，bywhichtheslightestdeviation，ineithercase，wouldbedetected，andthedeathfulconsequencewouldfollowwithinstantandinevitableexpedition。Ifsecrecyweredifficulttopractise，sincerity，inthatdegreeinwhichitwasheredemanded，wasataskinfinitelymorearduous，andaperiodofnewdeliberationwasnecessarybeforeIshoulddecide。Iwasatlibertytopause:nay，thelongerwastheperiodofdeliberationwhichItook，thebetter；but，whenI
hadonceenteredthispath，itwasnotinmypowertorecede。