Butnow——nowIwasinanemotionalstatethatdistortedthefactorsoflife,allthosethingsIhithertohadvalued;evensuchaprizeasthisI
weighedintermsofonesupremedesire:howwouldtheacceptanceofthesenatorshipaffecttheaccomplishmentofthisdesire?Thatwasthequestion.Ibeganmakingrapidcalculations:theactualelectionwouldtakeplaceinthelegislatureayearfromthefollowingJanuary;providedIwereabletoovercomeNancy\'sresistance——whichIwasdeterminedtodo——
nothinginthewayofdivorceproceedingscouldbethoughtofformorethanayear;andIfeareddelay.Ontheotherhand,ifwewaiteduntilafterIhadbeendulyelectedtogetmydivorceandmarryNancymychancesofreelectionwouldbesmall.WhatdidIcareforthesenatorshipanyway——ifIhadher?andIwantedhernow,assoonasI
couldgether.She——alifewithherrepresentednewvalues,newvaluesI
didnotdefine,thatmadeallIhadstrivenforinthepastoflittleworth.ThiswasabaublecomparedwiththecompanionshipofthewomanI