Beforethevigilofthatnightwasover,hedecidedthathecouldnotmeeteitherIdaMayheworJennieBurtonagain.HebelievedthatIdaMayhewunderstoodhimonlytoowellnow,andthatshethoroughlydespisedhim.Indeed,fromhermannerofpassinghim,hedoubtedwhethershewillinglywouldspeaktohimagain,forherveilhadpreventedhimfromseeingthepallorandtracesofgriefwhichshewassoanxioustohide.Inhismorbidlysensitivestate,itseemedadeliberatebutjustwithdrawalofevenheracquaintance.
HefeltthatthebriefdreamofIdaMayhewwasoverforever,andthatshewouldindeedkeepthepricelesskingdomofherheartfromhimaboveallothers.Hebelievedthatnow,afterherconversationwithStanton,sheclearlysawthattheabsurdlyardentfriendshiphehadurgeduponherwasonlytheincipientstageofanewpassioninaficklewretchwhohaddaredtotriflewithagirllikeJennieBurton——amaidenthat,ofallothersintheworld,amanofhonorwouldshield.
AsforMissBurtonherself,nowthatherealizedhissituation,hefeltthathecouldneverlookherinthefaceagain.Totrytoresumehisoldrelationsseemedtobeimpossible.Heneverhadandnevercouldsaytoherawordthatheknewwasinsincere.Besides,hewassurethatsuchaneffortwouldbefutile,forshewoulddetecthishollownessatonce,andhefearedaglanceofscornfromherblueeyesmorethanthelightningofheaven.HeresolvedtoleavetheLakeHouseonMonday,andfromNewYorkwritetoMissBurtontheunvarnishedtruth,assuringherthatheknewhimselftobeunworthyeventospeaktoheragain.Then,assoonashecouldcompletehispreparations,hewouldgoabroadandgivehimselfwhollytohisart.
Havingcometotheseconclusions,hestolebyasideentrancelikeaguiltyshadowtohisroomandtriedtoobtainsuchrestasispossibletothosewhoareinthehellofmentaltorment.Afteranearlybreakfastthefollowingmorning,hestartedforthemountains,andnowildbeastthateverroamedthemwouldhavetornhimmorepitilesslythandidhisownoutragedsenseofhonorandmanhood.
Hereturnedlateintheevening,wearyandfaint,andwiththefurtivenessofanoutlaw,againreachedhisroomwithoutmeetingthosewhomhesowishedtoavoid.Aftertheheavy,unrefreshingsleepofutterexhaustionheoncemoreleftthehouseearly,withhissketch-bookinhandtodisguisehispurpose,foritwashisintentiontovisittheoldgardenbeforehefinallyleftthescenestowhichhehadbeenledbyfollowingamerefreakoffancy.HelearnedfromoneofMr.Eltinge\'sworkmanthattheoldgentlemanwouldbeabsentfromhometheentireday,andthusfeelingsecurefrominterruption,heenteredthequite,shadyplaceinwhichhadbegunthesymphonywhichwasnowendinginsuchharshdiscord.